Why aren't you with your family? Characters : Yoon Sanha, Park Jinwoo (Jin Jin)

 

 

 

I looked at myself in my mirror. I was pale, so white. My forehead was burning. I sighed.

It was a holiday. I was alone in my dorm. My friends went away to their families. As mine lived too far away, I couldn't go and see them — it would take too much time. We only had 3 days off after all.

I walked back to the living room, where I sat on the couch with no energy. I closed my eyes slowly, feeling the sickness taking over.
 

"Sanha?"

I grunted. My body was aching. My head was the worst. I felt like it was 1000 degrees. Who played with the temperature?
I tried to take off a blanket but I couldn't move easily. My arms were numb. I opened my eyes with difficulty.
I took a while to understand what I was seeing. Everything was so white. Too bright.

"Sanha, talk to me."

I closed my eyes again. It was too difficult. I just wanted to sleep.

"Sanha, please wake up!"

The voice was weird. My ears had trouble hearing. It sounded like the person was talking inside an aquarium. I felt someone touching my face. I grunted and frowned. The person was gentle, but it still felt weird. I tried to open my eyes again. After a while, I was able to recognize the person in front of me.

Jinwoo was looking at me, worried like I never saw him. One of his hand was still on my forehead, feeling my temperature.

"H-hyung?" I finally mumbled. My mouth was dry. I felt like hell.

Jinwoo's eyes looked directly at me. He smiled softly.

"Sanha, you woke up. You are burning. I worried about you."

I closed my eyes. Sure, it felt hot, but I'm fine. I'm just... Er... Tired.
I tried to sit down but I had to work hard as my body wasn't really reacting. Jinwoo finally helped me. He kept a hand behind my back after, as if he was afraid I would fall down.

"I'm fine." I said, annoyed.
"Stop lying to me. When I came back, you looked like you passed out. W-what happened?"
"I didn't-"

I stopped talking. It's true I was feeling weird. But did I passed out? Really?

"Why aren't you with your family?" I asked, ignoring his question.

Jinwoo looked away then smiled at me strangely.

"I... My family is here. I felt like I was more needed here."
"You are wrong. I just need to sleep. I don't need you."

Jinwoo frowned. I bite my lips. Maybe I was too harsh? I didn't want to sound mean. It's just that he should be with his family. Not losing his time with me.

"Yet I found you almost dead of the sofa. I feel like you need someone to take care of you."
"Thanks hyung, but I can take care of myself."
"Do you, really? Then why are you burning like that?"
"I don't know, I just caught a fever or something."
"Okay then. I'll just take care of your fever a little and when you'll get better, I'll go see my family."
"Fine. Do whatever you want. Now excuse me I think I'll just fall asleep again."

I closed my eyes, I was so tired. It bothered me that he wasn't with his family and with me. We rarely had a chance to them - he shouldn't stay with me. I feel like I'm keeping him from the warm love of his family member.

"No. You need to eat a little. I know you, you probably haven't eaten anything since we left this morning."

I grunted. He knew me so well.

"I'll cook something for you. Promise me you'll eat with me."
"Whatever, daddy." I mumbled, annoyed. He sighed and went away in the kitchen.

And then everything was dizzy again. I closed my eyes and felt asleep right away.

"Sanha... Wake up."

I frowned. I still felt like hell. I opened my eyes. It was Jinwoo.

"Why aren't you with your family?"

He chuckled, then smile.

"Are you that sick that you don't remember we talked about that few minutes ago?"
"I just... I don't understand." It was all I was able to say. It took too much strength to talk. I didn't have any left.
"You don't need to. Here, I cook a ginseng porridge for you."

I looked in front of me. Two bowls full of food were there. I smiled lightly. It felt kinda nice - having Jinwoo taking care of me. I tried to move my arms to take the spoon but I almost felt on the couch. I sighed. I had no energy.

Jinwoo touched my back, smiling at me softly.

"Should I feed you? I think it would be a good idea."
"Please. Thanks hyung."

He did. At first, it was awkward and it made me shy. But after few bites, it felt better. I started to smile because the food was delicious and made my stomach feels better.
I ate everything in my bowl and my lips. Jinwoo chuckled.

"Was it that good?"

I can't tell him that. I know him - he'll get full of himself.

"It was just okay." I mumbled.

He seemed proud. I closed my eyes again. I felt better, but I still wanted to sleep and my head was still burning.

"I'll eat and then come back to you."
"Whatever."

I closed my eyes and laid down on the couch. Jinwoo put the blanket over me. I smiled as it felt good.

 

 

I woke up because I felt warmer than before. Too hot. I felt like burning. I grunt, then kicked out the blanket off me. It felt better for a moment, then I felt cold, so cold. Like freezing cold. I put my arms around my chest, trying to get better.

"What are you doing?" Said Jinwoo softly. I didn't open my eyes. I just knew it was him.

I felt him putting a blanket over my body. He caressed my hairs, I smiled.

"Why aren't you with your family hyung?"

It's all I could think of. If I could be with my mom and dad, I would. I miss them so much. I knew he missed his family too. Why staying with me?

"I'm more needed here." He answered me. I felt guilt.
"I'm okay. You don't need to babysit me. Just go see your mom. I know you miss her."

He stayed silent.
I felt asleep again.
 

 

When I opened my eyes, it was dark outside. How many hours did I slept? I'm not sure. My head was resting on something soft. A pillow. When did I get a pillow here?
I felt something warm on my chest. Something quite heavy.
Jinwoo's hand. I blinked.
I felt better than earlier. Not as much temperature as this morning. But I could feel my cheeks burning. That was a different feeling.
I looked at my friend. He was sleeping on the couch, sitting. He didn't seem comfortable at all. I bite my lips, feeling bad.

I took Jinwoo's hand in my twos hands and closed my eyes. It was okay — we did this often. It was two friends, holding hands. Nothing's wrong with that right? His hand was large, not as much as mine but you know — manly. Reassuring.
I closed my eyes again while smiling. I felt way better.
I felt bad he wasn't with his family, but I was glad he stayed with me. Was I a bad friend?

 

"Sanha."

My dreams were peaceful. I was living with Jinwoo in our own place. It was fun. He took care of me most of the time but I also made him smile quite a lot.
He liked it when we held hands, walking around in the city. His smile was even more brightly when I rested my head on his shoulder. My heart was racing when we were closed.

"Sanha? Are you awake?"

We were running in a park. It was lovely. It was fall, leaves were falling slowly. So many colors, so much beauty.
Jinwoo came next to me, taking my hands as usual. I smiled. My cheeks got warmer, as every time I was with him in my dream. He was somehow cute. Somehow... Attractive.

"Do you know how much I like you?"

I looked at him, my jaw dropped. My mind went blank. Of course, it was my mind playing trick on me. My hyung couldn't really like me... Can he? Then why do I get all fuzzy when I think about it. Maybe I wished it more than I thought.

Jinwoo caressed my left hand gently, still smiling.
But it felt a little bit too real.

I frowned and opened my eyes, waking up from the contact. Jinwoo was looking at me, touching my hand. I looked around, puzzled. It was raining outside but it was day time. Just how many hours did I slept again?

I scratched my eyebrow, then slowly sit on the couch. I knew I was a mess. But I felt way better. My hand was still in Jinwoo's. It was okay. I didn't mind. I looked around, trying to make sense of everything.

Jinwoo chuckled, then pat my head, trying to fix my hair. I smil