“I love you” he confesses “You, I love you”

The ”you” is merely a whisper as he says it to the camera and it could have been intended for the fans who would watch the video, but Seungri had known it was for him.

His heart had beaten a bit more deeply, a bit faster as he had heard those words. He had felt giddy and had flushed with pleasure, even then. He hadn't really understood what was happening to him back then but God, those days were among the most meaningful days of his life. Those were the days when he was falling in love.

He replays that part once more and then he watches the entire video again, noticing how young and carefree Jiyong looks, having fun and jumping on that trampoline.

I love you, and it's not really a thought but more the feeling running through Seungri's veins.

“What are you watching that has you smiling like that?”

Seungri’s heart skips a beat because as nice as it is to listen to Jiyong through a video, it is even better to hear his voice here in Jiyong's room.

He looks up and he likes what he sees, Jiyong looking like domestic bliss. He is leaning against the threshold of the door, Iye in his arms, wearing pajamas and he is barefoot. He has a small smile on his face and is looking at Seungri with soft eyes.

This, Seungri thinks, this is when Jiyong looks his best, no make up on his face and no fancy clothes. Jiyong himself says the face completes the outfit and Seungri agrees because when Jiyong smiles like that, when he's happy, he looks ing beautiful .

Seungri realizes he's taken a bit too long to answer when Jiyong's eyes sparkle, probably in amusement as Seungri stares at him too long.

“Just you professing your undying love to me” Seungri answers jokingly but then he flushes because he realizes that no matter how offhandedly he says those words, they are real. Jiyong loves him, and he loves Jiyong.

Seungri is watching Jiyong attentively, the same way he always does when they're in a room together alone, because Jiyong's expressions are fascinating. Just like right now, when Seungri manages to catch that one second where Jiyong's entire features soften, that second where his lips curve up into a beautiful but shy smile, where his eyes shine a little brighter, that second where his eyes, lips and soul smile at him. He manages to catch that one millisecond where he looks completely in love.

And they are, in love, but because of thousands of reasons they can't acknowledge it yet. One day, Seungri is sure, they will. But right now this is enough. Right now, they are happy. 

“I do love you you rascal” Jiyong says in a low voice, the smile evident in his tone and the words find a place in Seungri's heart, making it their home

They stare at each other, smiling, until Seungri has to look away, because he feels warm, hot, and his heart might burst out of his chest under Jiyong's adoring gaze.

He clears his throat and stares at Jiyong's feet as they make their way to the bed.

“Won't you say it back?” Jiyong asks and he sounds amused as he gets under the covers.

He puts Iye on the bed and as soon as he does the cat jumps off and runs away. Seungri half wishes he could do the same. It is easy for Jiyong to admit his feelings, but a little harder for Seungri, especially when he feels this deep.

Seungri puts his phone down and he brings the covers up to his chest. He lies on his side to look at Jiyong and he can feel himself blushing.

“I love you hyung, you're my favorite hyung, you know that”

“I- I don't mean like that” Jiyong murmurs and this right here, moments like these make Seungri hope.

He knows the timing isn't right yet but one day it will. And it will have been worth the wait. 

“I know. And you know I love you. Like that ”

And there it is again, Jiyong's shy smile but Seungri swears he sees Jiyong blush too. And he wants to laugh, because they're both fools and tonight's mood is a bit weird.

Jiyong ruffles Seungri's hair and his hand lingers a bit.

“You need to stop cutting your hair Seungri-ah, I like your curls”

Seungri giggles, because he knows everyone hates it when he cuts his hair. It brings him a strange feeling of joy to see everyone mourn his hair. Hehe. Jiyong puts his hand on Seungri's face, pushing him away and muttering “dork” under his breath.

“Now show me that video you were watching”

So Seungri shows him, but not even one second in Jiyong is covering his face.

“Ahhhhh” he moans in embarrassment and Seungri giggles. Jiyong is so shy, so cute that Seungri wants to- to… he doesn't even know. Jiyong quickly presses the back button and the screen goes back to the search results of the Seungri tag.

“Always looking yourself up before bed I see” Jiyong scoffs and Seungri shrugs

Jiyong looks through the tag, avoiding anything where he is in it, and stops on a video of Seungri laughing. It's a compilation of Seungri giggling, alone or because the members are teasing him, and Jiyong starts smiling immediately. He laughs silently, and then he starts chuckling and his eyes are sparkling and Seungri wants to stop the video but he doesn't, because he likes seeing Jiyong smile.

“One day, one day I'll be able to make a song that makes me feel the way your laugh does” Jiyong says as he gives Seungri his phone back, as if what he says is no big deal, as if he didn't just set thousands of butterflies free in his stomach.

Seungri stares at him, and Jiyong notices.

“What?” He says and he seems to realize what because he blushes and looks away, cooling his cheeks with the back of his hands

Seungri smiles and he wishes this warm, tingling feeling in his chest and stomach would never stop. He burrows closer to Jiyong, until his head is in on his chest and his arm rests on Jiyong's tummy.

“Is this okay?” Seungri asks and Jiyong's arms tighten around him

“You know it is” he answers and his voice is deep and it makes Seungri blush

Jiyong has put on a bit of weight, just the right amount to make his cheeks a bit chubby and his tummy a bit cuter. Seungri has noticed on sns how fangirls go crazy for Jiyong's cheeks and it makes him smile, and it makes him feel a bit silly because he completely relates.

As nonchalantly as he can, he starts running his hand across Jiyong's tummy, and then he slips his hand beneath his t-shirt. He is met with warm skin and his breath hitches. Jiyong becomes still under him but doesn't say a word,  so Seungri lifts his shirt a bit until Jiyong's XX tattoo becomes visible.

Oh that tattoo. Depending on the day it can make Seungri feel all gooey inside or spark a flame that sets his body on fire. It's the former today, and he starts tracing the XX with the tip of his finger. After a while Jiyong's seems to relax and his tummy goes up and down with each breath he takes. It's relaxing and Seungri wants to kiss the tattoo and then lay his head on Jiyong's belly, but he figures it would be a bit much.One day , he tells himself and he can't help but smile.

Jiyong starts tracing words on Seungri's back with his finger, but Seungri can't make them out.

“Seungri, there's a song I want to show you”

“Oh?”

“I wrote it with your voice in mind”

The last time Jiyong did that it had been for blue, and to this day whenever Seungri sings it onstage it's as if his heart breaks during each performance, but somehow, at the end, he feels peaceful and full of life.

Seungri smiles and kisses Jiyong's chest through the fabric of his shirt.

“I can't wait to hear it hyung”

They don't say anything for a while and it's so peaceful, so warm, that Seungri wishes they could sleep together every night.

“Seunghyunie sing me a song”

“No” He has no problem singing for a crowd or cameras but the thought of singing just for Jiyong makes him blush 

“Oh c'mon please. For me”

“Ah hyung” and Seungri disentangles himself from Jiyong and turns his back to him.

Jiyong doesn't say anything for a minute and it's weird, because he doesn't give up that easily but then Seungri feels Jiyong's arm slipping around his waist, as his leader hugs his back.

“For your next album photobook you need to get some shots of your back and your side profile. It looks so positively huggable and warm, with the right clothes hugging your body it will make fangirls go crazy .”

And the words make Seungri smile, because he knows Jiyong likes his body.

“Now sing me a song” Jiyong murmurs in his ear, making shivers erupt all over his skin “I'm your leader, c'mon, this is why you're here, to help me sleep.”

Seungri turns around.

“So you only called me here for your own pleasure, I see how it is” he says shaking his head

But as soon as the words leave his lips he wants to take them back, but he also doesn't because he likes the look on Jiyong's face. He has a faraway look on his eyes, and maybe he's picturing... things. He seems to come back to his senses and looks as though he wants to say something as a cheeky smile forms on his face.

“I'm the leader, what is even the point if I can't ask my members to do me a favor?”

Seungri purses his lips.

“Please”

And Seungri can't say no. He starts singing, and Jiyong's eyes are on him and he feels nervous because he can't hide his emotions when he sings.

It’s small but I put our love here 
Just with my heart that loved you, it’s very heavy 
I decorated it with a ribbon that you liked 
I put the scent that you like on it too 
In case you come back to me, in case you come back to me 
Come back to me again, come back to me again 
You, again

“Your voice is beautiful. You're beautiful” Jiyong says, closing his eyes.

He falls asleep in Seungri's arms, and Seungri keeps singing, eyes focused on Jiyong's face. His hair looks all fluffy and his lashes fan the top of his cheeks. His mouth is in a pout and his lips look so soft that Seungri wants to touch them. With his lips. But he just traces them with his finger and Jiyong's eyelids flutter, and Seungri smiles because he feels whole and because many more nights like this one await them.

Seungri has tried to understand the way Jiyong makes him feel and the closest way he can describe it is with music. Loving Jiyong is like listening to music in the dark.

Seungri has sung in front of crowds, at concerts, clubs and it is exhilarating, but there is something about being by yourself, in a dark room. The way the beat reverberates through your body, the way lyrics caress your skin like velvet, how you stop being you and become an extension to the song. It's something intimate and Seungri can only feel it when he is alone with music. Seungri thinks that it's the way Jiyong feels when he is onstage. But somehow, they feel that deeply when they are together.

Seungri keeps singing, and when he falls asleep he dreams.

I love you. You. I love you.

I love you too.