Alya shuts her eyes after going back to her room. Back leaning on the door, and hand gripping tightly on the knob.

She wasn't expecting to see Jinyoung so early in the morning. She used to always be the one who goes to their house to wake him up for breakfast.

But that was 5 years ago.

She felt her cheeks heat up when she realized her best friend’s not the same boy she knew anymore. And she's not the same girl who can just walk towards him right after she got up from bed. They're not kids anymore.

And realizing that, she dashed back to her room. She's fine with him seeing her in that state except for one thing--she wasn't wearing her bra.

Now, she's hastily putting it on and goes out of her room right after. She didn't change her clothes but she already adjusted the neckline.

She's tying her hair in a bun, some strands falling on the side of her face and on her nape, as she paces down the stairs.

Jinyoung looks up to her as he shoves a strawberry dipped on a melted chocolate in his mouth. He almost forgets how to bite or chew when he sees her doing her hair, exposing her neck.

“Aw!” He bites his tongue instead when Alya lands her eyes on him.

The brunette just laughs at him and tiptoes to reach for a berry. “Like the old days again?” She beams widely as if she did not crying the other night. She dips it in the chocolate and bites half of it. She closes her eyes as she savors it.

It's Jinyoung's favorite, and became hers, too. Her strawberry-designed bag was a gift from her brother who also loves strawberries. Jinyoung also got one from him. It's a pair. But he doesn't use it anymore.

“Too bad, your brother already went to--” Jinyoung tilts his head as he trails off, trying to remember the place.

“New York,” Alya continues as she sits on one of the high stools, “He's now in New York.” She finishes the strawberry in her hand.

“Oh yeah. That guy always transfer places that I don't know where he goes anymore.”

Her brother's goal is to travel the world alone. He's a photographer and he travels to take pictures. He's hitting two birds with one stone.

Youngjae even wanted to come along with him. He looks up to him so much but the bright boy decided to let him travel alone first and he'll travel with him later in the future.

“I know, right? But I'm happy for him.” Alya takes another berry. “Although I miss his omelette rice. Why did you mention him anyway?”

“I was gonna make strawberry milk shake, his favorite, if he was here.” Jinyoung notices the subtle frown on Alya's face. He splashes water on her after he turns the faucet off. He just finished washing some plates he used earlier.

“Get dressed, we're going out.” Jinyoung demands when Alya finishes her cup of cocoa.

The wavy-haired scans her best friend from head to toe. Her forehead folds. Jinyoung is wearing a crimson shirt over a light blue long sleeves, tucked in his pants.

“Where are you headed to?”

Jinyoung drags his feet towards her. He makes her turn around before he pushes her. “We,” he clarifies. “Now take a bath and get dressed before I go to your room and be the one to choose what you should wear.”

Alya pulls a denim shorts and a white loose shirt she took from her brother's wardrobe. She's about to tie her hair up when she remembers Jinyoung. She takes a look at herself for a second and thinks she might be underdressed.

Jinyoung might drag her to come along with him to watch an art exhibit or to visit a museum. But they might also just go to a library or a coffee shop where the black haired would sit all day with a book in his hand and she'd be just on her phone.

Just to be safe, she changes to a simple yellow dress.

Jinyoung is nowhere in sight when she comes down. The black haired is at the backyard. He sees his best friend nearing to the glass door. If he finds her beautiful, he doesn't show it. He mentally prepares himself to maintain his unamused face when she comes near. The latter sees him waiting with a bicycle.

“Bike?” she drops her shoulder and groans. She should have not changed, she thinks.

As far as she remembers, Jinyoung doesn't like bicycles. He used to hate it when they ride one during their early years. He got a lot of wounds and scratches from riding it. But it changed. He now feels relaxed if he rides it. Jinyoung's ideal date, if one would ask, is an outdoor one. Or just strolling around, which he also hated at first.

He came to like those things because when he thinks back, their memories from when they were younger are full of being outside their houses. They rode bikes a lot, walked around their village, played at the park, and spent the rest of their afternoon under the big tree near an old abandoned house.

“You don't like?” he straightens up. “Then let's just sit here.”

Alya rolls her eyes. He told me to change for this? She murmurs to herself but comes closer anyway. Jinyoung rests his back on the ground and Alya just looks at him with furrowed forehead.

“Stay there,” she demands before dashing back inside their house.

She changes back to what she first wore and gets the camera that her brother gave her. She ties her hair up again as she speeds down the stairs.

Jinyoung is still lying on the ground when she comes back. She immediately sits near him. When the black haired sees what she's holding, he instantly understands what he must do.

He changes his position. Chest now in contact with the grass. He situates his arms in front of him and he rests his head on the left one. He closes his eyes slowly.

Alya moves back a little and leans down. She puts the camera in front of her and Jinyoung hears the sound of the shutter not long after.

The black haired continues to change pose and Alya catches each of them. On the sixth one, Jinyoung lifts his right arm and put his head on his hand, his elbow rests on the ground to support his weight. He looks straight at the camera lens.

Alya suddenly feels a thump on her chest. The way Jinyoung's eyes talk to her sends shivers down her spine. She blinks the thought away. She doesn't want to fool herself again into thinking that Jinyoung sees her more than a childhood friend.

She feels the inside of her stomach twist as she remembers how her best friend looked at her that one time before they went to their school for the acquaintance night.

 

She was wearing a navy blue skater dress with ornamental patterned lace long sleeves and crew neck. Her hair in a bun, and wavy strands on each side of her face. Silver earrings dangling from her ears. Her face has a touch of right amount of makeup. Her eyelids were covered with gradient eyeshadow--from silver to blue--blended so well.

She saw a glint of admiration from Jinyoung's eyes that there was a sudden butterfly party in her stomach. Fortunately, she was wearing a makeup. She could hide the blush creeping on her cheeks.

Dahyun, her girl best friend, showered her with compliments that night but Jinyoung didn't utter a single word about how she looked. He just complained about her being slow and directed her to move faster.

She thought he was just being himself but his eyes couldn't lie. She was feeling hopeful until Sana, one of Dahyun's friends, asked about his ideal girl.

Jinyoung, with a book in hand, answered absentmindedly. “A girl with a lot of cuteness.”

He didn't realize it then that it was because he always finds everything that Alya does cute. The way the brunette would pout when he teases her, or when her forehead would wrinkle when she's too focused, even when she wants to be babied.

Every time his subconscious would think she's cute, he would always unconsciously mask it with irritation. Maybe he's really always irritated because deep inside, he knows that the subtle tingles on his chest were caused by her.

“Do you think Nayeon's cute?” Sana added.

“Yeah,” he nonchalantly declared.

Jinyoung didn't even think twice. He responded almost immediately. The hope that just started to bloom in Alya has already wilted.

The brunette heard the crumpling of leaves almost half an hour after. She was sitting on the ground, not minding that her dress was getting dirty, leaning on the non-functioning fountain at the back of the multi-purpose hall. She needed fresh air.

“Why are you here?” she quizzed when Jinyoung stopped on his tracks.

“It's noisy inside,” he raised his book.

Alya chortled and shook her head. “Who would bring a book to a party?”

“Obviously, me.” Jinyoung grinned as he sat beside her.

Silence enveloped them as Jinyoung read his book while Alya was just playing with her fingers. She glanced at him when he put down the volume and scooted closer to her.

When Jinyoung raised an arm, Alya's eyes widened and the fast hammering on her chest started. For a second, she thought he'd  cross the line but felt his fingers fiddled on her hair instead. She stayed still until her hair met her shoulders again.

Jinyoung her hair to fix it, making sure her nape was entirely covered, before putting some in front. When he pulled back his hand, he didn't move away. He just put her hair pins in his pocket before he went back to reading.

Alya didn't know when it started. She just found her mind asking herself “Was Jinyoung always this handsome?” one day. That was when Jinyoung has a part in a school event that he needed to dance with a group. When it was his turn to be at the center, the expression and aura he gave off made Alya's heart flutter.

Jinyoung tilted his head while he did the hand gestures for the dance step. His brows raised for less than a second before his left eye almost closed. She wasn't sure if he winked but it screamed confidence and lit fireworks in her chest. He owned the performance.

Maybe there's something.  She wanted to think that maybe the feeling was mutual after he let her hair down.   But she digged a hole to bury what she feels the next Monday when she saw Nayeon smiling in front of her best friend.

Jinyoung's eye wrinkles were evident even from the distance. She was so tempted to clutch her chest but stayed composed. Rumors about them dating spread the next morning. She never asked him about it, and he never denied nor clarified it.

 

She clicks the shutter button and swallows the lump forming in , trying not to mind the prickling on her chest. She's fighting with her mind to not overread Jinyoung's eyes.

“What's the matter?” she blinks when she heard Jinyoung's voice.

Sometimes, she doesn't know if she should be happy or not that Jinyoung knows her too well that he instantly knows when her mood changes.

“Hm?” she smiles half-heartedly as she shakes her head. “ Pizzers? ” her eyes are hopeful. She pushes her luck to pizza and burgers, hoping Jinyoung won't ask further about what's going on in her head.

Jinyoung studies her face for a couple of seconds before nodding.

“Let's get the guys. We were not able to eat lunch together yesterday.”

“Forget them. Just spend this day with only me.”

He stands up and brushes the grass and dirt on his clothes. He stretches his arm and offers his hand to Alya to help her get up.

The wavy haired does not hesitate but arches her brows because of the black haired's remark. She bites her lip. What does he mean?

“Why?” She pulls her hand but the other holds it firmly and raises his brows on her as if asking what she's doing--as if asking her why she's taking her hand from his grip and as if she's not supposed to do it.

Jinyoung bends over to brush the dirt on Alya's legs and the brunette follows.

“Do you know what my favorite quote is?” he queries when he straightens up, still not letting go of Alya's hand.

“ Only one is better than number one ?” she answers, unsure why he's asking randomly.

“Exactly,” he starts taking step. Alya eyes their hands, still locked, before putting her gaze back to her best friend and starts walking, too. “If we get the guys, I know I'm still number one. Because of course, I'm your best friend,” he shoots her a glance before looking back ahead, “And I don't like that. I don't want to be just the number one. I want to be the only one.”

Alya finds herself asking if there's something out of ordinary because everything suddenly seems to be… weird.

She tries to remember if holding hands with Jinyoung has always been normal. She remembers their younger years again. They're always hand in hand. But we were still kids.

There's that time, too . A part of her mind whispers. You were smiling so brightly, forgetting your broken heart. You were running in the rain with his hand holding yours, laughing together and remembering the old days.

She blinks. But he was just trying to… console me?

But as they greet every person they pass by, no one looks at them as if they are doing anything unusual. No one eyes their hands, teases them, nor asks anything about what's going on between them. It's as if seeing them walk hand in hand is the most normal thing in their village.

Am I the only odd one here? Am I the only one who's overthinking? Were we always like this?

She tries to even her breathing but her beating heart refuses to be calm.