Every day was like every other day; schedule after schedule. Missing one member out of the group wasn’t such a problematic problem. It was always easily accounted for every time they made an appearance either on stage or at any other events. But this time was different. All six Beast members were present. But why did it still feel empty?

 

That’s right. There’s also someone added to this march up. A female to be exact. It was obvious that this was just for work purposes but why did it feel like she was always getting in the way? It was not like they were competitors in the industry. As a matter of fact, they are actually within a close-knit of friends. However, what they were both doing right now was starting to get on his nerves. 

 

That’s Yong Junhyung for you. Easily agitated but expressionless. You couldn’t tell what he was feeling unless, when his nagging came into force. If not that, his eyes gave it away. That’s why he wore those shades all the time. Sure it went quite well with his outfit, but that was not the main reason for it being planted there. It was a cover up. A cover up for him so no one could see his true emotions through reading his eyes. A cover up for him to look at things that he wanted to see without anyone knowing. 

 

Stealing glances to the end of the line, Hyunseung and Hyuna had almost all pairs of eyes set on them. Waving and smiling to the flashing cameras; was all a part of an idol’s job. What was bothering him though is the fact that she was linking arms with Hyunseung. He didn’t know exactly why it was disturbing him so much, but all he knew was that his left eyebrow was twitching. This was what happened every time he felt irritated. 

 

“Hyung, it’s time to move off the platform,” Junhyung heard Dongwoon say. Making their way toward the main entrance of the building, Junhyung couldn’t help but feel the need to stay far away from the couple as much as possible.  Wait, why was he treating them as a couple? He didn’t want to be like everyone else and see them this way. For whatever reason, he couldn’t understand why. He just kept getting this ill feeling in the pit of his stomach. On another note, it could have been the lingering gas from the coke he had drunk earlier that may have caused it.

 

Finding a seat, Junhyung sat down.  Not long after Hyunseung seated himself down next to him.

This bastard, why is he sitting down next to me?

 

“Aren’t you meant to be sitting next to Hyuna?” Curiosity got the best of him.

Returning a blank expression to the question, Hyunseung answered, “It’s okay for now.”

Not being able to respond to that, Junhyung felt his left eyebrow twitching again. He hated the way Hyunseung answered sometimes. It just got you tongue-tied of what to say next. This was clearly one of those moments. Even when this wasn’t already bad enough, the boy was now sitting beside him. Junhyung remembered his pledges earlier not to go anywhere near him, all of now that was failing. But be knowingly, he kind of wanted Hyunseung to stay put where he was.

 

-----------------------

 

“What are your thoughts on the new Cube unit, Hyunseung and Hyuna?” 

Not wanting to discuss anything or make any comments on the two, Junhyung faked a response to the reporters. “We hope all of you are excited for this new unit. Please look out for them,” he answered before darting off with Yoseob.

 

“What’s with your answer?” He heard Yoseob asking him. 

Junhyung shrugged. “Dunno.”

“And where are we rushing off to?” The younger addressed the question after looking down at the elder’s hand on his forearm pulling him away. 

“Don’t we have practice?” Junhyung probed him before slowing down.

“Yeah, but we’re not starting until another 20 minutes.” 

Coming to a complete halt, Junhyung loosened his grip on Yoseob’s arm. A slight pause overwhelmed the situation. 

“There’s no harm in getting ready early.”  Good one, Junhyung.

 

“What kind of things are you looking forward to for your joint unit with Hyuna?” The reporter asked Hyunseung.

Here we go again, Junhyung thought to himself realising that the situation had not completely gone away.

“This is the first time I am coming out solo from my group Beast, so I’m very excited and quite nervous at the same time. Getting to work with someone like Hyuna who has already made a name for herself in the industry is quite an honour…” 

Yada, yada. He couldn’t bear to listen to this anymore. If it wasn’t for these shades he was wearing, you could clearly see him roll his eyes.

“Please get into your positions!” He heard the stage coordinator call out.

“Junhyung, Junhyungie….” 

Who’s calling me?

 

Snapping out of his flashback, Junhyung felt a nudge on his shoulder. It was Hyunseung.

“Junhyung, they’re calling us to go backstage for our performance.”

Clearing his throat after staring blankly at Hyunseung for a short moment, Junhyung got up along with the others and made his way backstage.

---------------------------------------------

 

The time has finally come. The time for the official Troublemaker unit to make their appearance on stage. Who knew what kind of performance they would bring. Junhyung had not even seen their routine yet but somehow it got him worried. It was definitely going to involve a lot of touching, that he knew for sure.

Taking a very deep breath, he heard the beginning of Fiction being played by the orchestra. It can’t be that bad, it’s just touching and nothing more, he thought to himself as he took his first few steps onto stage.

 

Screams and cheers kept getting louder and louder, Junhyung watched on as the Troublemaker couple showed-off their routine on stage. What happened next was definitely uncalled for. 

 

………….. Hyunseung and Hyuna kissed! 

 

Not being able to rationalize what just happened, Junhyung’s jaws practically dropped to the floor. He felt his body boil, filling itself up slowly like the bubbles from a bottle of coke after the cap was unscrewed. Fists clenched tight and his left eyebrow twitched again; only this time it felt like the arch of his brow had reached  the top of his forehead; maybe even beyond that! He was not prepared for this at all! Calming himself down he tried to suppress everything, Junhyung walked back on stage to end their performance. He was professional after all.

 

Getting back to their seats after the performance, Junhyung followed his eyes after Hyunseung who brushed right past him to go and sit next to Hyuna. Hyuna was looking flushed but Hyunseung…that mofo was looking all neutral as if the kiss had never happened. What on earth is going on in that mind of his? He just kissed a girl, didn’t he feel anything? Junhyung couldn’t comprehend why that kissing scene kept replaying itself in his head. Did he himself FEEL anything?

 

 

An urge of possessiveness overcame Junhyung upon siting Hyunseung’s loose hand swinging about in mid-air.  It made him want to attach himself to it. Not giving it any second thoughts, he reached out and grabbed Hyunseung’s hand; entwining his fingers in his. Though he couldn't figure it out himself, but at that very present moment, he wanted everyone to realize that the two; Hyunseung and Hyuna were not a real couple. Even if they did kiss and it looked too damn realistic for his liking. No matter what the circumstances were, he wanted Hyunseung to always stay by him and not go anywhere close to Hyuna. If Hyunseung headed toward a different direction, Junhyung's feet would automatically control his body and follow. Caught in a daze, Hyunseung didn’t bother turning around to see who had made hand contact with him. He was too immersed at the fact that it was finally over and wondered what everyone’s reactions were. Beast bowed and waved their goodbyes to the audience. Junhyung wanted to hold his hand a little bit longer but Hyunseung suddenly let go. This . If only he could just slap this guy silly and tell him how much of a bastard he was right now; that would seriously make him feel a lot better. 

The MAMA Awards night ended.

---------------------------------------------

 

It was late when they got back to Korea. All the other members were fast asleep except Junhyung who was falling in and out of his nap. He couldn’t get that kissing scene out of his mind. Cringing as the incident kept attacking him, the van suddenly jerked to a stop leading him to become shaken up startled out of his broken slumber.

“Home!” Jookun, one of their managers exclaimed. A few of the members groaned and woke up, relieved to be finally back at their dorm. 

 

Sluggishly putting his bag onto his bed, Junhyung watched as Yoseob made his way to the top of the bunk, collapsed and sprawled himself onto his own. He yawned loudly, stretched his arms out then snuggled himself up to his pillow.

 

“Yah, aren’t you going to wash yourself up first?” Junhyung nagged. 

Yoseob muffled a reply into his pillow. 

“Yah…wake up.” Junhyung began tickling his foot. Yoseob squirmed a little before giving in. He got up, furrowed his eyebrows looking quite annoyed and stared back at Junhyung half-lidded. All Junhyung could do was chuckle.

“God, you look so awful right now.” Junhyung motioned for him to come down and helped him off the ladder. 

Ah, that took his mind off things, Junhyung thought as he shook his head. But that moment was short-lived. 

Hyunseung entered the room. Flashbacks beamed its way back inside of his head as he stared profusely at the guy. 

Damn it, Junhyung cursed under his breath. Hyunseung turned to look at him doubtedly as if Junhyung had gone bonkers talking to himself like that. Junhyung’s upper lip shifted before brushing past Hyunseung to get out of the room. That stare of his just s him sometimes, he cursed under his breath again.

 

Later that night, Junhyung couldn’t find himself to fall asleep. He fidgeted in his position, tossing this way and that, trying to find a way to stop thinking about what happened back in Singapore. Why can’t he stop thinking about it? It shouldn’t have affected him this bad. Flipping himself over, he came across Hyunseung. He was not asleep yet either. Like a stoned statue, Hyunseung was looking straight up at the view of Dongwoon’s bunk above him. Junhyung observed him as he watch the older boy blink his eyes a few times. 

 

Hyunseung was too excited to sleep. That exhilarating feeling of going up on stage, being recognised solely as himself and not just a member of Beast was one of his dreams. Junhyung got a shock when Hyunseung suddenly turned to return his gaze. , he quickly closed his eyes shut pretending to be asleep.

“Jun-ah are you asleep yet?” 

Hearing Hyunseung’s voice call out to him, he slowly opened his eyes.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Junhyung asked sleepily. 

“What did you think about my performance last night?”

Junhyung felt his stomach tie in a knot. “You did good,” was all he was able to muster up.

“Do you think my fans would hate me after that kiss with Hyuna?” Hyunseung continued on.

Junhyung’s stomach must have double-knotted by now. His eyebrow twitched as he replied, “I don’t think so.”

“I keep getting this feeling that Hyuna is going to receive a lot of hate after this.” Hyunseung sighed looking back up at the lined wooden planks that supported the upper mattress.

“Don’t worry. The fans will get over it.” Junhyung responded calmly. A short waver of silence filled the air. 

Junhyung cleared his throat. “Seung, can I ask you a question?”

Hyunseung turned to look at him again. “Yeah, what is it?”

“Do you feel anything towards Hyuna?” Junhyung asked quivering his question almost.

‘Wh-haha-at?” Hyunseung said in between a few laughs. “How could I, we’re practically like siblings.”

Satisfied with his answer, he turned his back to Hyunseung trying to hold in the smile wanting to creep on his face. 

“Go to sleep, Seungie. There’s only a few hours left till morning.” 

And with that, he closed his eyes shut and drifted off to sleep.

---------------------------------------------

 

About a week and a half has gone by. Junhyung was having one of those sleepless nights yet again. Hyunseung has been coming home really late ever since his Troublemaker activities begun.

The sudden feeling of emptiness rung through him. Why did he have to care so much? It was not like the first time the members were always missing, working and coming home late. It must be because this was the first time Hyunseung had his own activities going on, Junhyung concluded it to be.

Feeling a little unsettled in his lower abdomen, Junhyung got up out of bed and headed toward the bathroom. In complete darkness, he pulled down the elastic of his tracks and began to relieve himself. 

 

Hyunseung had just arrived back to the dorm. After saying good night to his manager hyung, Hyunseung walked into the wardrobe and pulled out a clean set of clothes and underwear. He then made his way toward the bathroom and switched on the lights. He was almost scared out of his wits when he saw Junhyung standing there at the toilet. Junhyung also jumped.

“I-I’ll come back later,” Hyunseung stuttered. 

“It’s okay. I’m done now.” Junhyung quavered after pulling up his pants. 

 

Hyunseung walked in and closed the door. Junhyung went over to the sink and washed his hands. He could see Hyunseung’s reflection in the mirror. He stole a few glances looking at Hyunseung setting his clothes onto the rack, but as soon as Hyunseung began stripping off his shirt, Junhyung immediately looked back down feeling a bit embarrassed. But something made him want to look up again. He reluctantly made eye contact with the mirror again and stared at what was happening behind him. Hyunseung’s John Galliano underwear was showing.

That guy always wearing his pants so low, Junhyung smirked. His eyes then trailed down even further and caught sight of the dent in Hyunseung’s backside. He felt his cheeks heat up. Darting his eyes from here to there and quickly turning the taps off, he spun around and tried to calm himself down. Why was his heart beating so fast?

 

Hyunseung’s skin; a gorgeous milky white, glistened in the light as if he was some sort of being not from this planet.  Junhyung stood there at gaped at the view. His slender body could only belong to a woman, not a man. Tracing the outline of his waist where his underwear was merely hugging onto, he noticed how slightly curvy Hyunseung was with the completion of smooth toned abs that trailed down his stomach like a work of art just screaming to be touched. Junhyung gulped.

 

Out of impulse, Junhyung took a few steps forward and wiped his wet hands along Hyunseung’s . He couldn’t understand why he wanted to do that. He just felt like touching him somehow. The smoothness of his skin, it made his heart skip a few beats. Running his hands up and down and at times feeling down the dip in Hyunseung’s back, Junhyung felt his throat dry up having to resalivate from the loss of body fluids building up as beads of sweats across his forehead. What the hell was he feeling?

 

“Yah! What are you doing?” Hyunseung jerked away and turned around.

Junhyung snickered. “Thanks, my human towel!” he said playfully, putting up and showing his now dry hands. His laughter died down when he was met with a stare he had never before witnessed.

“Er… I’m going to sleep now. Bye!” Junhyung said about to head out the door when abruptly he felt a grasp on his wrist bringing him back. Not only that, there was also a presence of warmth on his lips. 

He slowly opened his eyes. 

He couldn’t believe it! 

There right in front of him was Hyunseung’s doe eyes closed shut with his lips smack bam onto his! 

Junhyung panicked; his eyes about to fall out of his sockets and his heart about to burst out of his rib cage! Hyunseung’s lips were so damn soft; it sent shock waves throughout Junhyung’s whole body.

 

Hyunseung gradually pulled away.

“Did you feel anything?”

“I...I…err…I…” Junhyung stammered. He didn’t know what he was feeling. His emotions were in total chaos. All he knew was that he liked it a lot and he wanted more. 

As if Hyunseung could tell what he was thinking, he tugged onto Junhyung’s shirt and reeled him in again; their lips crashing against one another.

The kiss, this time felt more passionate than the one before. Junhyung closed his eyes and returned the kiss leaning into Hyunseung more to deepen it. As his hands progressively made its way to caress Hyunseung’s face and play with the sides of his hair, Hyunseung wrapped his arms around Junhyung’s waist pulling himself forward; all the while kissing each other like a game of tug and pull savouring each other’s lips.

 

This was what Junhyung had longed for. All that time watching Hyunseung from afar and wanting to get close to him for no apparent reason; wanting to hold him, touch him by any means imaginable.

Hyunseung drew away once again. “How about now?”

“You’re not teasing me or anything are you?” Junhyung asked looking extremely flushed, his lips trying to preserve the taste of Hyunseung as much as he possibly could.

“Well…did you like it?” 

As if he was waiting to be asked this question since forever, Junhyung looked up, gathered his courage and firmly said, “I did, but not as much as I like you.”

Hyunseung smiled. One of the most beautiful smiles Junhyung had ever seen.

“Me too,” came his reply. 

Junhyung took him into an embrace. “Really? Do you really feel the same way as I do?”

Hyunseung lifted up his chin to rest it on the younger man’s shoulder. “Yes I do.” 

Junhyung was overjoyed. His throat grew tight as he fought back his tears from finding its way out. “I’m glad.”

Hyunseung pulled back and looked into Junhyung’s eyes. He stared into them for quite some time like he was in search for something. 

“I like it a lot better without you wearing those shades.” He finally said.

“Huh? Why?” Junhyung asked curiously in between laughs.

“So I can tell if you are looking directly at me and no one else.” Hyunseung chuckled briskly before breaking himself out from the hug. “Now, please get out so I can have my shower now.”

“Nawww, can’t I stay?” Junhyung groaned.

“No.” Hyunseung snickered.

Junhyung pouted, sounding a bit disappointed. “Oh, don’t act like such a girl. We’re both men here.”

“No matter if I was a girl or a guy, do you think after professing my love to someone, I wouldn’t get shy afterwards?” Hyunseung retorted blushing.

“Oh come on.” Junhyung whined. “I’ll help you wash your body.” He gave him a mischievous wink.

“Don’t tell me you got that idea from one of the fics our fans have been writing about us.” Hyunseung said pouting while he crossed his arms.

“Well, why won’t we make the fans happy and give them what they want.” Junhyung winked again, reaching his hand out and drawing in Hyunseung from the waist. 

Hyunseung swatted it away. “Junnie….”

Junhyung sighed heavily. “Fine, fine. I’ll get out.”

“Good.” Hyunseung exclaimed ushering the younger to get out by pushing his back.

After making his way out the door, Junhyung peeped his head back in.

“Can I suggest something?”

Hyunseung turned to the doorway. “Yeah, what is it?” 

“Every time you do those provocative dance moves with Hyuna, think that you're doing them with me okay?” Junhyung said teasingly shaking his eyebrows. 

“Aish, shut up you.” Hyunseung chuckled shyly threatening to throw his towel at Junhyung’s face.

Junhyung just laughed and closed the door behind him.

 

Leaning against the door he smiled; the hugest smile that had ever found its way on his face. All those feelings bottled up until now, he finally understood what they were. 

This was the time, he finally knew… that those feelings were actually love.