Taemin runs across the cold, wet pavement, completely drenched from head to toe. He is thankful that the rain is pouring on him tonight. This way, no one can distinguish the tears on his face from the torrential rains assaulting the entire city. His tears taste bitter; his eyes bloodshot. All around him are nothing but blurs of light and shadowy figures as his feet take him flying across this dark night, his sobs drowned out by the downpour. But not even the loudest sound in the world could drown out the nightmare that kept replaying in his head. 

I don't love you anymore...

The words are relentless daggers to his heart. After all this time, to be let go like a piece of garbage... No. Not Jinki. Not his Jinki. With each step he took, his mind is flooded by thoughts of him.

It wasn't always this way. Jinki was once the love of his life. His eyes were a wonder that he could never quite figure out. The way that Jinki stared at him told him everything that he could ever need to know about love. Those eyes spoke to the deepest parts of his heart, telling him that everything would be okay as long as they were together. He could always count on Jinki's strong hands to hold on to him. No matter what they faced in life, Taemin knew that he always had a hand to hold. The immense sense of comfort that Jinki could bring him with just a simple touch told him that this man was his center; his home. His kiss was the stuff of dreams. In four years, Taemin had never lost heart flutters each time Jinki drew near. He could easily get so lost in the softness of his kiss, in the warmth of his embrace. Each day was part of a wonderful journey. 

But this wasn't his reality anymore. 

There's someone else now. There's someone else who is holding that hand, staring into those eyes, kissing those lips. Jinki, who was once meant for him and just him, had now given himself to someone else. Taemin had never seen a more painful sight in his life. He stood at the cafe window not even ten feet away, and they never noticed him staring. It was as if Taemin was overcome by some sadistic wave of emotion that forced him to stay there and watch--watch as she put her hands in his hair, breathe in his scent, explore his mouth. Every sinew in his body was being torn apart on that busy city sidewalk, as Jinki undid everything they had built together before his very eyes. Taemin kissed Jinki that same night. He kissed him just to drive away the thought that there was someone else. But he could feel her with them. Jinki's lips tasted different, they way he moved his hands was different... Even the look in his eyes was something Taemin couldn't recognize. Jinki was gone.

I lost him...

And to live without Jinki beside him would never be worth it.

"Why?! TELL ME WHY!" Taemin screams in agony. "Am I not good enough? Don't I satisfy you anymore? I need an explanation, god damn it! WHY!" Jinki remains perfectly still and stone-faced throughout Taemin's outburst. His eyes were ice-cold and his jaw was stiff in anger. The younger man rushes to his side and tries one more time to talk some sense into him. Taemin wraps his arms around Jinki's waist and leans on his chest. "Hold me, Jinki. Maybe you'll remember if you hold me," he says as tears stream down his face. "Please baby, try... This can't be it... This can't be..." Jinki remains a statue. His cold demeanor is slowly breaking down Taemin more and more. There is something Jinki hasn't said that would make Taemin stop. He didn't say it for the past four hours because he didn't want to hurt Taemin any more than he has. But as the night goes on, it's clear that the truth would be the only remedy. It stung as it flowed out Jinki's mouth, the poisonous venom that it is: "I don't love you anymore, Taemin."

Heaving and panting, the young man finally reaches his destination. The railings are freezing to the touch, and the rain has made everything more dangerous than he could ever imagine. The waves below are dark and turbulent as the thoughts that were drowning him. Underneath, the ocean was inviting him to be one with his suffering; calling him home. He climbs, resigned to the fate that now awaits him. 

"No, Jinki! I'm staying!" Taemin says, as he gathers his clothes from floor. "You expect me to leave, just like that? What have I done for you to be so cruel?" Jinki just continues to stare blankly at him. Taemin's sobs are so loud that it almost shakes the walls of the apartment they once shared. "I did everything I could... I always do... Just tell me what you want and I'll do it... Please..." Taemin pleads. In the end, there was just one thing that Jinki wanted from him: "Just say your final goodbye."

It had always been his fervent desire to give Jinki everything he ever wanted. This life hadn't been so kind to their love, but maybe the next would find him wrapped in his warm embrace once again. The thought makes Taemin smile.

Goodbye, Lee Jinki.