"Are you still willing? I can't even take care of myself, how can i even take care of you?"

---

Nagahama Neru exasphatedly sighed as soon she went outside from the operation room. She leaned her back to the wall and closes her eyes, feeling drained and exhausted after the seven hours straight procedure she took in. It was a hell, especially the patient that was almost in the brink of death. Neru hate losing her patient, everyone don't want of course. She hate seeing the cry of the people that losing someone.

A low groan escaped from as she felt the pain in every corner of her body especially from her arms and feet. Seven straight of standing and her arms moving non stop, also add the pressure and intense are what really made her worn out. She think, she can't even move for a second.

She opened her eyes when someone pulled her mask. A smiling face of her bestfriend and also her assistant, Saito appeared in front of her.

"Good work, Doctor Nagahama." Saito greeted cheerfully, Neru can't understand why she have the energy to smile and act cheery despite of what they through just a minutes ago.

"I envied how the way you smile." Neru said as she remove her gloves and walk straight to the sink to wash her hand.

"Because it's a success."

Neru faintly smile at Saito responded. She really doesn't have energy to retaliate the cheerfulness of the girl, she badly want to slam her dead tired body to the bed.

"Seriously, I'm so tired." Neru heard Saito laughed.

"You better sleep Neru, I don't think your body will last any second." Saito said, washing her hands in the sink . "I can't even believe you took three procedures without even taking a break. Im sure you missed your date again with Risa?"

The question from Saito made Neru stop from what she's doing. A regretfully sighed escape from Neru mouth which confirmed it. She looked at the clock in the wall and it read 3:36 am. Their date is 4 pm at their favorite restaurant. Nothing special, just a simple date which Risa asked for her for a week but she missed it.

Neru want to knock herself or strangle herself to death. It really slipped from her mind and she doesn't even call her fiance to apologizes because she forgot it and It's really too late to do that. She doesn't even know if the girl already went home or her whereabouts. She really feel worse, she's the worst.

"You must call her, she must be waiting for you." Saito pat her shoulder and give her a assuring smile. "I'll finish this, you can go home."

Saito pertaining to the finishing of their operation, Neru could only nodded, accepting the offer from her friend. She really doesn't want to leave it to her friend all alone, but she want to see Risa now. She want to know where her fiance is.

Despite the heaviness and drained body, she walk a bit fast to their department call room. She's planning to get her things out faster and head straight home. But as soon she open the door, her eyes catch first the face of the person she want to see the most.

"Risa.." Neru could only mutter her fiance name who is lazily smiling at her while sitting in the sofa.

Before she can ask her, she stop by Ozeki who's in the table, eating. "Oh, Neru is finally here. Risa's been waiting for you."

Ozeki said as she throw Neru a second look before she turn to her plate again. Neru can't produce a word as her eyes stuck to Risa, who is gently smiling at her despite how sleepy she is. Her mind is thinking why Risa is here inside their room, especially in this hour.

It's not Risa's first time here inside their room, exclusively for only doctors. To their nine years relationship, Risa knew Neru friends so well and Neru friends knew Risa well so going in and out from this room is not really a big deal. Neru's fellow mates treat Risa as their friend too.

"Neru.." She came back to senses when Risa called her name softly, not really minding the two people in front of them who only snort their noses. She walk towards her, as soon Neru body is near at Risa. The short haired girl pull her and wrapped her arms around her waist, leaning her head to her stomach, finally closing her eyes in comfort. "I'm sure you're hungry, let's eat."

"Yeah, come on Neru. Risa brought food. Join us!" Uemura said as she remove one by one the boxes out from the plastic paper.

Neru can't understand herself at the moment, the emotions that pouring her currently. It's overwhelming her that she can't help but to feel worse. How come Risa didn't even get mad at her as soon she saw her? Why Risa is here? Why Risa is spending her night here in the hospital waiting for her instead resting? How come Risa could smile at her? How come?

"I want to go home." Neru mumble but enough for Risa to heard. Risa tilt her head and notices the strange behavior of her fiance, so she didn't ask more and nodded, bidding goodbye to the two who left curious.

There is something wrong, Risa thought.

All her sleepiness and tired faded as she notices that something wrong with Neru. She can't help but to worry because of the girl quietness during the drive. Maybe because of the rough day she had or something bad came up with her work. She want to know and if possible, she want to try her. best to help Neru. She doesnt want to see her fiance feeling trouble.

"What's wrong?" Risa open up, side eyeing the girl in the passenger seat. When the girl didn't even flinch, she continued. "Care to talk about it with me?"

But the long haired girl didn't eve. bat an eye to her or respond which Risa confirm that there is really something wrong. She chooses not to follow a question and decide to take care it in their shared condominium.

"Neru," As soon they reached home, Risa pull Neru hand before she walk inside the bathroom inside their bedroom. "I know you're tired, but I don't want to sleep knowing something wrong with us."

With that, Neru can't hold it anymore. She broke into tears and knees collapse in the floor, she cover her face as her sobbed grew louder. Risa become panic at the sudden break down of Neru in front of her, she bent down to reach for her body and wrapped it inside her arms.

"Neru, why? Why are y