jennie kim

you're tired. you're so, so tired. 

scratch that, you're drained. completly, utterly drained. 

you're on the flight back to korea bundled up in pillows and two layers of blankets, trying to keep your body warm from the freezing airconditiong of first class. it's only been 5 hours since the plane took off from london, but you feel as if you've been sitting here for a week. your hurts and you just want to lie down in your room at the dorm with the lights turned off. you miss the silence. 

you twist and turn but sleep doesnt come even though you've been working nonstop for 3 days, your solo comeback wont make itself after all. it has to be perfect. it needs to be perfect. sajangnim wont accept anything less than that. giving you a chance to  debut solo was a of luck in itself, you would not let him down. you know being his favorite can only get you so far. if you this up you're back to year long hiatuses with blackpink, you love the group, sure,  but you hate how you barely release music, hate how you never have creative control over the songs you put out. with this solo debut though sajangnim's  loosened the reigns a little bit, another small perk of being his favorite. 

you look out the window and at the dark night sky, hoping that it will calm the storm in your head. 

what if it's not good enough? 

you look away, opting to turn on the tv in front of you instead, anything to stop the voices in your head from reappearing. they had left you  alone this week because being busy always kept them at bay, but idle moment's are poison to you, and now you f