— ► —

The cold breeze of February hits Jisoo’s skin, making her shiver in annoyance. She must have forgotten to fully close her bedroom windows. It’s six in the morning and it’s too early for her to wake up, since it’s Wednesday and it’s one of her off-days, yet her mind seems wide awake although her body screams the opposite. When she glances to her digital clock that is seated on top of her book shelves, she sees that it’s Valentine’s day. She scoffs and gets up from her slumber as she does her morning routine, which just includes her stretching her arms and kicking her feet from here to there. She thinks that somehow she does exercise and is not a couch potato at all. After her mini-stretching, she lets out a huff just to motivate herself because it’s actually effective. She goes to her bathroom and washes her face. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she sees a mediocre person looking at her. She thinks she hasn’t really aged that much since she graduated from university two years ago. Her skin is still as clear and smooth as it was when she turned eighteen. Her brown eyes even as lighter as the sunsets yet the bag under her eyes scream stress. When she looks at her hair, disheveled because of bed-hair of course, the fading dark brown strands, she realizes that she needs to have it dye into a new color, for a change.

At the age of 25, Kim Jisoo thinks that she has been living a life that is plain and ordinary and that makes her fall into self-deprecation. She might as well consider it as a part of her morning routine. She shakes her negative thoughts away as she continues to do her usual routine. When she finished tidying herself, she got out of the bathroom and skipped her way to the kitchen. She makes herself a cup of hazelnut flavored coffee. One of the few things she likes about mornings is a joyful aroma of coffee greeting her. She then proceeds to make herself a proper breakfast which is egg, bacon, and fried rice because it’s the only decent food she has inside her refrigerator. She reminds herself that later she’ll buy some groceries. After eating her breakfast, she washed the dishes before she took a nice bath. After cleaning her kitchen and taking an hour and half of shower, she got out and dressed herself properly. She turns on her television as she makes herself comfortable, plopping down on her new couch. She doesn’t pay attention to whatever is on the television, she just likes to turn it on because she thinks she’s less alone when she does so, instead she preoccupies herself on whatever is on her phone screen. She checks her social media and it’s just the same as before. She shrugs. She’s not one to show-off or socialize on the virtual world, anyway (as if she has anything to show off). She gets bored and looks at the time. It’s barely eight-thirty in the morning and she doesn’t know what to do anymore.

So she looks around her average-sized apartment. All the walls in her apartment are painted in lilac and there are several paintings on the walls that are minimalistic in terms of the visual presentation. In fact, her apartment really has that minimalism touch on it. Her living room, just the size of comfort for ten to fifteen people, which has a forty-inches Samsung smart TV attached on the wall (which she actually won this from the acquaintance party raffle that is held each year in their office), a wooden table-cabinet underneath the TV which has a stack DVDs, her beloved PS4 and some PS4 games. Next is the new L-shaped, coffee-colored couch she brought a few days ago, out of impulse. She has two bean bags, gray and black, on the side, just adjacent to the balcony door. She stands up and makes her way to the balcony. She is greeted by the bright rays of sunlight and the bustling of the passersby on the busy street of Seoul, Korea. Her apartment is on the sixth floor and sometimes the noise gets to her nerves but this is one of the few decent apartment complex that she can afford, which is also near her workplace, and so she keeps her complaints to herself because she gives herself no choice. Despite the noise, the view from her apartment is nice and actually can motivate you to wake up early in the morning or stay out at night. Somehow, she finds it relaxing to see strangers moving around on the street.

Her sentimental moment was cut short when she felt her phone buzzing inside her sweatpants’ pocket. She ignores it at first but then the buzzing doesn’t stop. Groaning she checks it and sees that her favorite person is calling her.

“Oh, h-hi?” She greets the caller, blush creeping on her cheeks. The caller has that effect on her. “Good morning, Jendeukie.”

“Good morning and Happy Valentine’s Day, you single-goof.”

“Now I regret answering this call,” Jisoo laughs.

“It’s true though! Anyway, I didn’t call you just to rub it off your face that you have a non-existent love life,” a laugh is heard on the other line and Jisoo could only roll her eyes. “I am actually inviting you for tonight’s party at Lisa’s, you know just unwind a little bit amidst the stress from work. So dress up ily! Maybe you’ll get lucky and have a last minute Valentine date!”

Kim Jennie, her best friend for almost seven years and also her long time crush since the very day their paths crossed one another, still remains an enigma to Jisoo. Sometimes she wonders what goes on her best friend’s mind because most times she couldn’t seem to understand her even if she tries her best to. They had a small fight yesterday and every time they have a small fight, it’s always Jennie reaching out first. Most times, Jennie wouldn’t apologize (Jisoo doesn’t expect her to because she herself made some bad points) but she would make Jisoo feel that this is her unique way of saying sorry. Jisoo has grown accustomed to these morning calls, filled with casual conversations and light banters. This is their way of apologizing to each other and that is more than enough for the both of them.

Although Jisoo has taken a great liking each day that is passing by towards a certain brunette woman that is Jennie, she can’t help but feel annoyed whenever the brunette talks out about her non-existent love life. She hears it all the time from her parents, siblings, and other relatives and she doesn’t need another person to hear it, especially from Jennie whom she has been harboring feelings for a long time. She doesn’t give a single damn about her love life so why would others do? She’s a grown woman and of course, she knows that she’s on the proper age to date and maybe eventually settle down, but she’s not in a rush because she still has a lot to stress about and she doesn’t need another.

“Urgh, you know what, I’ll go but I’m in it for the drinks not for the pretentious thirty-year old guys who wear their out on their forehead,” Jisoo scoffs, making Jennie let out a loud laugh. “And Valentine’s day is just an excuse for  people to have !”

“Geez, calm down. You sound like my 90-year old grandma!” She hears Jennie giggle.

“Your grandma is still on her late 80s, Jennie.”

“Right, whatever,” Jennie sighs, defeated. “Valentine’s day is more than just that, you uncultured swine, but okay whatever floats your boat. So no y dress tonight for you, hmm?”

“I’ll think about it,” Jisoo says. “I suppose you and Mino are going together?” A pinch of bitterness and sadness lace around when she says it.

“Ah, that’s what I forgot to tell you last night. He and his family went to California for a couple weeks since their family reunion will be held there. He just told me that yesterday, just an hour before their plane took off. What a jerk,” Jennie mutters, obviously fuming.

Jisoo understands now. She saw how Jennie’s eyebrows were knitted together while typing some of the paper work that were given to her on her desktop. The bitter and harsh tone when she heard Jennie speaking to their office mates. And their fight about the total and exact amount that is needed to be calculated that is actually due to their boss on Friday yet Jennie chose to stressed about it so early and Jisoo didn’t know why she’s acting the certain way. Jisoo turned out to be right about the calculations yet Jennie kept on insisting that she’s wrong. In the end, their boss forced them out of his office because he couldn’t stop his two employees, who are apparently best friends but fight like they’re competing with each other, from arguing over a small thing.

 She completely understands now why Jennie was in a sour mood last night and why they fought. Most of their fights are always like that; Jennie in a bad mood because she and Mino fought or Mino did something that has pissed her off and rarely, about their friendship. It always makes sense why Jennie is acting a certain way. Perhaps, she’s now understanding Jennie.

“Oh, what an , indeed. But hey, maybe he doesn’t have the choice, you know how he is and his family,” Jisoo says, rubbing her nape while looking longingly on the February sky.

“Argh, whatever. I don’t want to talk about him early in this nice morning,” Jennie says, heaving a sigh. “By the way, have you eaten already? I’m about to get going to eat some decent breakfast at the diner near your complex. What do you say?”

And this is one of the many things Jisoo cannot resist or refuse about her best friend. To be with Jennie or just simply being there to feel her presence is more than enough for Jisoo. Jennie has always been more than enough. She is the relentless sea. She is the brightest blue skies ever painted. She is the perfect cup of coffee that she wants to wake up to every morning. She is every heart beat of Jisoo.

But what, or who, is she to Jennie? Just one of the few best of the bestest friends? A co-worker, maybe? Just someone she used to know back in the university?

Who is she to dare think like that? Sometimes she either thinks of Jennie badly or she just falls in her own prison of poisonous thoughts. Jisoo heaves a sigh. Not this day, Jisoo. Not today. She tells herself.

“Hey, you still alive there?” Jennie asks. “I’m about to head out now. See you there?”

So, how can she think of Jennie like that when Jennie clearly wants her to go in the first place? Jennie has always been like that. She has already set a decision in her mind but she doesn’t directly says it to you but rather she uses her words and the tone of her voice just perfectly for you to choose what she has decided even before you could muster an answer. It’s either a yes or a hell yes when it comes to her.

Of course, it’s always hell yes for Kim Jennie.  

“Count me in. Take care, Jendeukie!” Jisoo chirpily says although her stomach is just about full.

Then again, someone who would refuse Jennie is a criminal and boy, she’s no criminal.

“You too, Jichu!”

 — ► —

As expected on a very special day like this, they were flowers everywhere. The smell of roses make Jisoo dizzy or maybe she’s just a tad bit salty about it. When she got off the elevator, she was greeted by their landlady who was holding a bouquet of different kinds of flowers with a smile plastered on her face. Jisoo greets her a good morning and bows her head as a sign of respect to the landlady who is in her mid-40s.

“Good morning to you, too, dear,” the fair landlady greets. “Happy Valentine’s day.”

“Happy Valentine’s, auntie,” Jisoo says, though she doesn’t really like the sound of it, especially coming from her own mouth, nonetheless she keeps being polite. “Seems like you’re already enjoying this special day, auntie. The bouquet is really beautiful I must say.”

The landlady smiles, reaching her eyes and ears. One last time she smells the bouquet and lets out an enthusiastic exhale. “Of course, dear! My kids surprised me with these!”

Jisoo smiles at her. The landlady sure reminds her of her mother who also loves plants and flowers. She reminds herself that she’ll call her family later when she comes back to her flat. “That’s so sweet of them.”

“How about you, dear?” the landlady asks her, catching Jisoo off guard. She points a finger at herself. “Yes, you. Have you planned something on surprising your girlfriend? You know, the one who always comes here.”

Thank God she’s not eating or drinking. Otherwise, she would’ve choked herself. However, her cheeks are beet red. The thought of Jennie being her girlfriend is just a pigment of her imagination, a distorted reality. Nonetheless, she can’t help but feel all the rush and excitement just thinking of it. But the reality comes crashing and slapping the truth out of her. That Jennie is straight and is madly in love with her boyfriend. And Jisoo’s not the kind of person who likes to come in between lovers who are happy with each other. She stays where she is supposedly should be—she doesn’t want to cross that line between her and Jennie. She even draws a thick line between them. A line so thick and bold it almost screams ‘Keep Out, Friends Only.’ And sometimes this line drifts her further away from her best friend. It’s unfair but she doesn’t want to risk the bond they have built over the years just because of her stupid feelings that won’t just go away so easily no matter how hard she controls them. She always keep in mind that whatever she feels right now will eventually pass and one day she’ll finally see Jennie as a friend just like how Jennie sees her. Will it eventually pass? She believes so. Feelings are fleeting. But is Jisoo sure that these feelings are just feelings? She wishes and prays. That what she feels is just a fleeting feeling. Oh, she wishes and prays.

“U-Uh, no. Jennie and I-” Jisoo can’t seem to find the right words to say. She doesn’t want her feelings to be obvious. “Jennie and I are just friends, auntie. She has a boyfriend.”

The landlady is beyond shock now, mouth agape and eyes surprised. She covers and gasps. “Oh, dear! All this time I’ve been thinking you guys have been going out! Oh, I’m so sorry about that!”

Jisoo dismisses it by laughing. “It’s okay, auntie! Well, you know what they say, you know the friendship is real when other people think you’re dating each other.”

The landlady laughs along and nods her head. But what Jisoo hears next from the landlady shocks her. “I don’t want to push it but you two would look so good together, dear! What a shame!”

The landlady laughs even more and Jisoo lets out a nervous chuckle. The landlady says she’s just kidding and bids her farewell by patting Jisoo’s shoulder, saying that she hopes Jisoo will enjoy this day as well. Jisoo remains immobile, because she is stunned by what the landlady just said though it’s just a silly joke, but she bows her head and says her goodbye to the kind landlady.

“Oh, how I wish.”

So Jisoo brushes her thoughts away and continues on her way. When she exits the complex, there are even more flowers and the red color is almost blinding her vision. She’s had enough seeing them inside the apartment building but hey, she shouldn’t be so bitter about today’s date. It happens just once a year. She mentally slaps herself for feeling envious. Though she can’t really help it. She feels bitter because she feels sad that she can’t spend the day even just with her family that she hasn’t seen after the new year’s celebration.

While walking to the diner she sees couples being lovey-dovey, passing by her. She rolls her eyes though she keeps it exclusively to herself. She sees kids playing and giving their love letters to their mother and father. She sees an old man giving a flower to his wife which actually makes Jisoo’s flutter. That’s love. Every store she passes by has their own Valentine’s day decoration. Every corner there is a vendor selling flowers or teddy bears and chocolates. It’s almost blinding her sight. She’s not bitter. Really.

When she reached the diner, she immediately looked for their usual spot. She and Jisoo has eaten there several times and they always sit on the same spot near the glass windows where you can see strangers passing by. The diner is not that big but not small either. Of course, the diner has their own Valentine’s day decorations. There were hearts, cupid, the figure of couples, and the word ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ made from art paper hanging on the door frame and plastered on the door and windows. When she’s about to take a seat, the bell rings, indicating that someone has just entered the diner. She looks up and sees Jennie looking around. When their eyes meet, Jisoo’s heart rate increases. Both of their eyes light up iridescently. Jennie waves her hand at her and approaches their usual spot.

There is something about the way their eyes meet that sparks a bit of hope in Jisoo.

“Hey,” Jennie casually greets her, taking a seat, facing Jisoo.

“Hi,” Jisoo replies, but it almost sounds like a faint whisper. Jennie just flashes one of her cutest smiles. Jisoo just stares at her, a smile unconsciously makes its way on her lips.

“I’m hungry! What should we order, hmm?”

Jisoo shakes her head and tells herself that she should quit staring at Jennie like she’s in love with her. Well, she is, but she doesn’t want to wear her heart out of her sleeve. So she tries to divert her focus on the menu.

“I’ll be getting strawberry pancakes and a cup of hazelnut coffee, how about you?” Jisoo says, pretending to be looking at the menu.

“I’ll have the kkalbi with fried rice and a cup of hazelnut coffee, too.”

Jennie doesn’t like drinking coffee but she has started to love the taste of hazelnut coffee. Jisoo knows that Jennie doesn’t like coffee so sometimes it surprises her when Jennie orders a cup of coffee, not just any flavor of coffee, but her favorite flavor of