“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it”

“Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Resist it?”

“Yes… until you.”

It was the words Choi Sungyoon had wanted to hear all his life. The only words he ever anticipated, the words he knew or thought he would never be able to hear. And yet here he was, standing, frozen right in front of his crush.

~

Lee Jangjun gripped his bag tighter, he told himself to say something more, some kind of assurance to Choi Sungyoon who hadn’t said a word since his confession. Jangjun had been holding on to his feelings the last few years because he thought there no way, no way this hyung would like him back.

Sometimes Jangjun got used to it, Sungyoon’s presence that is, that he forgot Sungyoon could leave him any time he wanted. They had no blood relations, they only meet in school and sometimes hung out after class at the local music club. The shared the same interests; music and sports. But other than that, they were as different as the two strangers could be.

And Jangjun didn’t realized, hadn’t realized when he started missing Sungyoon when he’s absent. Started staring at his phone for Sungyoon’s calls and read back their previous messages. Every night.

It was excruciating. Keeping the feelings to himself.

So he got a girlfriend, and introduced her to Sungyoon. Jangjun should have noticed from Sungyoon’s cold reception to her, should have paid more attention to it, think about it. But he never did.

Change girlfriends was all he did.

~

“I…” Sungyoon bit his lower lip.

Where do he start?

Maybe he could tell Jangjun about their first meeting, when they bumped in the school hallway. The younger boy who he had never seen before apologized with a scratch on his head and a sorry smile on his lips. Sungyoon had to look away to hide his blushing face.

Jangjun introduced himself and walked away to join his friends who were calling for him. Sungyoon realized it at that moment that he had fallen in love at first sight with that smile.

They met again at the same spot the next day and Sungyoon introduced himself. They had a proper conversation this time about the menu at the canteen that day before Jangjun chased after his friends who were leaving. After that Sungyoon started seeing Jangjun everywhere. He never knew why he never noticed the tae kwan do awards on display or the students who were late to school in the morning.

Someone like Jangjun had no time to spare for him as he’s quite the popular guy and a social butterfly, Sungyoon understood that quite early on.

They met again, at the school library this time. Jangjun was skipping class and approached Sungyoon who was sitting between the shelves, reading.

“You know there’s chairs over there right?” Jangjun had said with crossed arms and a judging look.

“It’s quieter over here.”

The younger boy nodded.

“Jangjun!” Again, his friends called for him.

Sungyoon buried his face in his book.

“You guys go first. I’m staying here a while.”

Sungyoon hid his smile behind the book. Jangjun sat next to him and leaned in to see the book he was reading. They never finished the book. That talked and talked until the bell rang.

Sungyoon didn’t tell his mom why he was home late that evening. She figured it out soon enough though when Jangjun came for sleepover. Sungyoon had no friends and yet someone came for sleepover. She figured it out herself.

“I don’t know… I don’t know what to do.” Sungyoon finally managed. “How did you found out?”

Jangjun pulled out a folded letter from his coat pocket. Sungyoon wrote that a week ago addressed for Jangjun, but he was never meant to receive it. Inside, Sungyoon wrote everything from his feelings for Jangjun to his disappointment at Jangjun’s string of girlfriends and how he decided to throw his feelings away.

Needless to say, he never did.

“Your mom gave it to me.” Jangjun said. “I’m glad she did.”

“Sungyoon hyung.” They both turned to the direction of the voice. Choi Bomin, his cousin walked up to them. “It’s boarding time.”

Unfortunately. she gave it a little too late.

~

If Jangjun could turn back time, it would be when he slept over at Sungyoon house. On more than one occasions that night, as he felt the warm body next to him that he wanted to grab Sungyoon’s shoulders and kiss him.

They even held hands.

They were playing arm wrestling which Jangjun won and both of them were too worn out to move. Neither of them pulled their hands away.

Jangjun should’ve grabbed that hand and made that kiss.

“Don’t… Don’t go,” he said. Jangjun crunched the letter in his hand. “Stay. Please stay. I love you.” He may never had this chance again. Sungyoon was going away. Jangjun could feel the tears threatening to fall down. When they finally did, Jangjun buried his face in his hand.

He wanted them to stop. He had so many things to tell Sungyoon. But he can barely talk.

That’s when he felt the arms around his body. Sungyoon was as warm as Jangjun had thought. Maybe even warmer. Sungyoon nudged the side of his face with his head. Jangjun heard a chuckle.

“Don’t cry silly.” Sungyoon’s voice sounded so close. He was so close. Jangjun felt a pair of rough lips on his cheek. “Wait for me. Please? I’ll come back... I promise.”

He sniffed back his remaining tears and finally met Sungyoon’s eyes. Sungyoon was smiling. So was Jangjun. It’s not really a separation. It’s a beginning.

Jangjun nodded. “Okay.”

my first gol-cha fic! and i'm an angst fan so there's that.

it started from a prompt but then went away from it. i probably wrote this in a few hours between watching vids and not.

anyway, thank you for reading.