¤Lights, Camera, Action¤
“Welcome to Choi household folks! This is your reporter, Dareum from Choi News. Well as you all know—porbably not, I am the one and only innocent, handsome, young, talented reporter from Choi household. I'm here to introduce you all to my elders—God don't even get me started on how young I feel around them! They are all having one leg in their graves and me? I am hot and young. 

OK enough. Let's begin for real. Should I start with myself??? Of course. I am the most important and lovely and handsome and cute and supporting character. Ehm. So hello, I am Dareum, Lee Dareum. I am 12 and guess what?? I will be turning 13 soon. You all are not invited on my birthday, I am broke and my business is going through a pitfall right now. BUT don't worry, I know this wedding season will help my reporting business flourish so—ok ok, getting to the point. I am Lee Dareum, Lee Taemin's younger brother—if you stopped oh-ing, should I continue? Ok thank you. So yeah, I am the legendary Taemin's younger brother. What do I look like? Well I've got a pair of eyes, a nose, lips, a pair of ears, some hands and legs and some brown hair, here and there on my head. I am handsome, trust me. 

For all you whiners! I got you, I just took a really instagram worthy photo from Taemin hyung's DSLR. DON'T TELL HIM. It's confidential ok. Don't I look like an official KBS reporter? Ugh ok. So yeah. My job is to report stuff around the house like a proper reporter. Whether it's about someone backbiting or plain decisions or I don't know, other stuff which are NOT SUPPOSED to be reported. But you see, this is a reporter's job, no matter how much Minho and Taemin hyung hate me for this, shut off the wifi, cut my supply of oxygen. Reporting is like oxygen to me and it'll be human abuse if you cut off my oxygen, no? 
 

I look professional, I know. No one's proud of my work. They don't know how much hardwork goes into this. You gotta plot to remain hidden AND make a video. You'll know how I do it soon. Free lessons from me. Ok enough about myself. Let's move onto our wedding pair, shall we??

Let's start off with Choi Minho. Ugh. Ok let me put my hatred at bay please. Brb. 

So the thing about Choi Minho—gotta put up a photo so you know who I am talking about. 


Wait no! I got a better one. 



It's from his old days. I can feel you all gasping. I am so handsome and my cousin???? Please take care of mother Earth, the puke-can is to the right. So the thing about Choi Minho is that he is the most annoying cousin of mine! I mean I don't care that he calls me annoying but the sad truth is, he's 100 times more annoying than me. He makes me do reporting for him and then doesn't even pay me! How rude. He is one narcissistic man. I'd curse but I did not turn into a teen yet so—and I am definitely not liltay so forget that. He is 22! TWENTY TWO. Psht. So old. He is my brother's husband now. I GAGGED. I mean I kind of ship them and all but I'd rather stick to reporting against them instead of reporting for them, you know what I mean? 

I only know one thing about him that's like 'for sure'. He hates my brother and wow I'd be lying if I said my brother likes him. My brother probably hates him 100 times more. SMH. I don't see anything between them in the future. I don't believe they'll last too, not that I am complaining, as long as I get the money for reporting. I don't care. 

Minho did his studying, I don't even remember ever watching him study but let's just say he did. He is currently sitting at home, doing nothing but scheming to end this marriage. I think he did something in business? You better ask him later. Him and my hyung were always partner in crimes! Until—well, until this BREAKING NEWS. He is not only a good friend of my hyung but also the only person who can understand his tantrums???? But wow nothing's normal anymore. I'll take you around the household soon. Let's talk about my hyung now, shall we?

Lee Taemin. My brother. YIKES. 19. So old. No one's young here except me...of course. So let me insert his ugly face. 


I TOOK THIS PHOTO. I am so proud of myself. So we were at a formal dinner and trust me, he had spent an hour whining about that button-up! In the end, mom threatened to burn his favourite artist's albums! I documented the whole event though. Still have it in my phone's storage but you see that ring??? That's THE RING. If you know what I mean. I don't even know why he was flashing it in the photo. OK but really, I've got a way better photo. He looks more presentable in that one. 



Proud to declare so that this one was taken by me too. He was told to cross-dress during their costume party and he was SO IN CHARACTER. I mean for a moment there, I thought I had an older sister. I mean, can you see?? Where's the man at?? I think we all can confirm that my brother is very androgynous. THAT. That is why I want him in a dress on his wedding ceremony. EVEN MOM AGREES. But he doesn't because 1. "Boy, that wedding is never happening." and 2. "I am not a girl!"—proceeds to look and act like a girl. 

The thing is, he is so talkative and so evil and just so rude that I understand why Minho hyung wants to end this marriage. He doesn't hesitate to hit. He doesn't hesitate to do inappropriate stuff in front of the entire house! You'll see later. He'll do whatever. WHATEVER to get his way. I am always smelling danger when I am close to him. ALSO, HE IS JUST SO SELFISH. 

Ok now that you know how these two look like. Let's move on to the elders. Ehm. So let's start with Grandma. Choi Yeojung. She's the mightiest grand