“Hard work only pays off when it meets the right plan of action,” as someone said.

Changkyun read it in a book during his last year of college and those words got stuck in his head since then. Negligence was definitely not a good fit for him and he was sure he was doing everything in the right way.

Finding a job should have been an easy thing for someone with a degree in businness and economics, especially with his records: a straight-A student, steady with his attendances and interventions, the highest gpa's in school. He had everything and yet, he had nothing.

He thought that moving to another country would help him finding independence and motivation, but South Korea revealed itself to be just as competitive as the United States, if not worse.

His parents, his teachers, even his ex classmates... they all had high expectations and to be ing honest, he didn't know who he was trying so hard for anymore. Being the best at something that was considered to be so difficult for the majority of people should made him feel proud of himself, right? Even just a little.

Being the best at something you don't like, just because you happen to be smart enough to go away with it and make your parents content without much effort... was it going to be his only path?

They say you can change your destiny if you're brave enough to fight for it, but that a very low percentage of people end up by actually doing it. Because confining ourselves is way easier than dealing with the disappointment in the eyes of the ones we cherish the most.

Changkyun felt like he was drowning.

***

«I'll tell you this for the bazillionth and last time: big cups go on the left side of the shelf while small cups go on the right,» Kihyun scolded him, and Changkyun could already tell by the tone of his voice that he was trying to be as nice as possible.

«What's the difference if I just put them in randomly?» Changkyun asked with indifference, slightly turning his head to the older while tip-toeing on the stool that was supposed to help him reach one of the top shelves in the kitchen.

Yoo Kihyun, this his full name, huffed and rolled his eyes in a dramatical manner. Changkyun raised a brow at the sight.

«That it doesn't look good nor aesthetically pleasing to my eyes? Now, if you please could proceed...» Kihyun nodded towards the shelf, pointing at it with his chin. He had his arms firmly crossed at his chest and he looked quite funny, because even when he was trying so hard to give out such a strong image of himself, he was still the tiny and delicate looking guy Changkyun owned his life to.

Changkyun put the last cup in the so-called-right place and hopped down the stool. «You do know that a house doesn't necessarily have to look like a contemporary art museum, don't you?» he said.

«My house, my rules baby boy,» Kihyun chanted carelessly, not really looking at him. He was too busy tilting his head from one side to the other to check on the overall result of Changkyun's hardwork. «Uhm, that will do for now.» He murmured.

Changkyun sighed and shrugged off the awkward nickname just like that. He walked to the table in the middle of the main room and sat on the chair that he was sure would be the farthest from his flatmate.

«You bought a whole new kitchen and made me arrange all the stuff on my own. Is this a rule too?» He asked, and despite the smile he was doing absolutely nothing to cover up the sarcastic tone in his voice.

«Oh,» Kihyun sat right in front of him. He placed his elbows on the table and rested his chin on the palms of his hands. «I like to see it as a way for you to pay back the costs of your sleeping in my guestroom since you lost another mothering job.» He spelled the last couple of words and used both of his hands to knock Changkyun's head softly, following his own rythm.

The boy flinched and fastly smacked his hand against Kihyun's.

«Can you not?» He muttered with that usual low voice of his.

Fact was, Kihyun was so right it was just too painful to admit it. Helping around the house was Changkyun's only way to repay his friend for everything he did and was still doing for him. That was really Kihyun's flat after all, which he bought with his own money. They were childhood friends and Changkyun simply got lucky enough that Kihyun had moved to Seoul a couple of years before him. They contacted each other through their social medias and eventually met up; Changkyun was in need for help and Kihyun needed company. What happened next is quite obvious.

Little did they know that Changkyun would end up loosing one job after the other.

«It's been more than a year already, Kyun. I'm never gonna kick you out or stuff like that but I'm still worried,» Kihyun said as he moved closer with his chair. «You're smart, you have a more than respectful qualification, you've worked hard to achieve your degree and your parents are expecting so much from you. So excuse me if I don't understand how is it possible that most of your interviews don't go well or worse, how you always end up loosing a job you're supposed to be good at just a few months after getting hired.»

Changkyun shrugged.

«Bad luck, I guess? I'm not gonna ask my parents for help, that's for sure,» he said. He ran his fingers through the raven locks of his hair and pulled it backwards, his chest was swelling in a deep, dramatic sigh. «Guess I have to come up with a proper plan, even though I have no idea what else I could do besides sending my resume...»

Kihyun almost interrupted him by clearing his throat, and Changkyun raised his head to look at him with an expression that was giving out nothing but low expectations. He knew pretty damn well how to read his friend's behaviour and he had received so many lectures in the past that they were not to be considered a burden anymore.

«Do you actually enjoy the field you've specialized yourself in, Kyun?» That unexpectedly didn't sound like a lecture at all. Rather than that, Kihyun did actually look worried as he proclaimed himself to be.

«What do you mean?» Changkyun asked dryly, but his subconscious was suggesting an answer already. He noticed Kihyun crossing his legs under the table.

«I mean that it's kind of hard to work well when you don't give a about what you're doing or worse, when you hate it,» Kihyun said in a resolute way.

«I don't hate it,» Changkyun talked back at him, but Kihyun started nodding his head instead.

«Yes you do. We all heard it when you gave off a show last night,» he showed an apologetic smile.

«What show...,» Changkyun paused for a second, frowning. Then, as if he just woke up from an allucination, he slapped his own forehead. «Oh, right. .»

Kihyun hummed. He stretched his arm and grabbed an apple from the bowl placed at the center of the table.

«Yeah. Vodka isn't really your thing,» he bit onto the apple and started chewing soundly, Changkyun twisted his lips in disgust. «By the way, the only thing I want is for you to realize that you can't go on hiding behind a facade. Don't look at me like that, you know that's exactly what you're doing and I understand that you don't want to disappoint your parents... but it's your own life, isn't it? And you only have one.»

There was now something poetic in Kihyun's way of staring at him while eating the apple. He had just slammed the truth in Changkyun's face and was ready to see his nose bleeding.

He was doing it because he cared, of course. Changkyun knew it already.

«You make it sound too easy,» he said.

Kihyun tilted his head.

«Because it is?», he gave the apple another big bite. «I mean, I know your parents are not that open about it but you can still talk to them, right? And more than that, you're twenty-two now, living abroad. Just do your thing.»

A moment of awkward silence followed, Kihyun kept chewing and throwing huge question marks at Changkyun who was staring at him with an amused expression.

«What you just said is 'so-not-you', hyung,» Changkyun said in a brief, soft laugh. He furrowed his eyebrows. «"Doing my thing", sounds quite reckless and it surprises me that you're the one suggesting it.»

Kihyun clicked his tongue.

«Don't get me wrong, obviously I want you to do everything responsibly. I'd never rent my second room to a "reckless" one, as you say. But you're my friend, and it having to look at you coming back with that hangdog look on your face.»

Changkyun's smile became smaller, and his next words were tasting bitter on the tongue already.

«I guess you're right,» he lowered his head and eventually started focusing on the grains going back and forth on the wooden table's surface.

Back and forth, just like him.

«But still,» he sighed, then stretched his back against the chair. «I guess those things I had to study for years became the only things I'm good at.»

«Yeah, and they're ruining your life,» Kihyun said as he got up and walked back to the kitchen. He threw the core of the apple in the bin and started washing his hands in the sink. He used to do that quite often, while cooking, cleaning, or even just touching different things. He would always bring anti-bacterial wipes with himself when going out, too. Changkyun remembered he once told him that it was one of his ways to release the stress, and that he would rather kill himself than touching his face or hair with dirty hands. Changkyun had nothing to complain about it, besides, Kihyun's lack of trust in his householding ability pushed the older to not only cleaning the whole apartment, but Changkyun's room too.

With nothing to add to Kihyun's last statement, Changkyun was back on admiring and drawing the table's grains with his eyes. He felt tired, or demotivated, or useless.

"Today was just another bad day," he would tell himself every night before passing out in his squeaky, single bed. Someone would usually count the sheeps to facilitate sleep, Changkyun would just review his misfortunes of the day.

He felt pathetic, and he needed a kick.

A strong kick just like the one who hit the main door and slammed it open a few seconds after his and Kihyun's conversation ended. Someone entered, clapping his hands.

«Okay boring gays, place your buttocks on those chairs 'cause this boy has got some wild news for you!» It was the neighbor across the hall and Kihyun's ex college mate, Lee Minhyuk. If Changkyun had to describe him with only three words, those would've been: loud, filter deprived, and disastrously gay.

He would show up in their apartment just like that, with no invitations nor warnings, and Changkyun could see Kihyun's hair turning white one by one as it happened.

«For 's sake, Lee Minhyuk!» Kihyun yelled, turning to face the door in jealous rage. He started walking towards it, large steps, eyes on fire and fists closed. «I swear to God if you don't stop showing up in my goddamn house -- »

Minhyuk rolled his eyes and walked past him, eyes focused on Changkyun and arms spread open.

«Changkyun! How's my smart baby boy doing?» he said with a sing-soning voice as he hugged the younger and squeezed him tightly. He started massaging Changkyun's back with his right hand. «Is that nagging treating you well? You feel skinnier, are you eating properly? You know you can always move in with me, right?»

«The heck?!» Kihyun snapped.

«Minhyuk-hyung, I can't breathe...» Changkyun muffled against the older's shoulder. Minhyuk was wearing a dark brown woollen sweater and it felt hot and stingy against the skin, which was why Changkyun was trying so hard to pull off that hug.

«Woops!» Minhyuk replied with a cheeky smile as he let Changkyun go. He was about to have a seat, when Kihyun appeared at his back and moved the chair away.

«Get out,» Kihyun hissed.

«No, I won't. I just arrived so why don't you act like a good host and make me feel welcome?» Minhyuk grabbed the chair and pulled it back to sit on it. He crossed his legs and grinned from ear to ear, flickering his eyelashes at the other. «A glass of tonic water will do, thanks honey.»

«Just know that I'm refraining myself from killing you only because you're not worth a life in prison,» Kihyun pressed his index and middle finger on Minhyuk's forehead, making the blonde haired guy dramatically whining in pain.

He still made his way to the kitchen to take what Minhyuk asked for, and that made Changkyun smile. It would always end up like this with those two.

«So, what are those "wild news" you were talking about?» Changkyun asked, and Minhyuk turned to him in a flash and it was clear that he was looking forward to that question.

«I got called back from a modelling agency!» he exlaimed and threw his arms up in the air. Minhyuk's smiles had always been quite huge but the one he had on his face at that moment, was priceless.

Changkyun's jaw dropped. Kihyun stopped walking midway while holding the glass of tonic water in his hand.

«Hyung, that's... that's amazing!» Changkyun said.

Minhyuk clicked his tongue and gave the younger a malicious wink.

«I know right? Finally someone's giving this whole undeniable meal the attention it deserves,» he smiled then slowly raised and stretched his right leg up in the air, caressing it with his own same hand. Changkyun frowned at such a dramatical act, but he wouldn't consider himself surprised anymore.

Moreover, he was really proud of Minhyuk for finally achieving what he always wanted. He could have been easily taken for granted, as the loud, funny and mischievous character he showed himself to be but at the same time, behind the scenes, he was a passionate hardworker.

Changkyun was proud of him, indeed. And he was envious too.

«Is modelling even a job?» Kihyun finally spoke, placing the tonic water on the table. Minhyuk reached for the glass and sticked out his tongue at him.

«Everything you get paid for is a job, right?»

«What about drug dealing? ion?» Kihyun asked in a serious tone and crossed his arms. But Minhyuk wasn't having it and took a sip of tonic water before his lips.

Changkyun was pretty sure he saw Kihyun's ears turning red.

«Are you jealous or what, Yoo Kihyun?»

Kihyun faked a laugh and looked away.

«Of you? Never,» he said.

«When's your first day, hyung?» Changkyun asked, trying, perhaps unnecessarily, to ease tensions.

Minhyuk turned again to face him and smiled.

«I'll have to go to the agency tomorrow,» he said and he rested his chin on the palm of his hand. «They'll make me sign tons of paper and then we can talk about photoshoots and catwalks, umh...»

He paused for a few seconds, pouting his lips, and during that brief moment his eyes shifted between Changkyun to Kihyun and back.

«So, I might have accidentally overheard your conversation before...»
«I knew it!» Kihyun exlaimed in frustration. «You've been eavesdropping from