Hakyeon suddenly felt a cold, moist plastic against his cheek. He turned his head and found the banana milk container being shoved to his face by Taekwoon, with his own strawberry milk on the other hand.

He smiled and gratefully accepted the drink. Hakyeon then turned back towards the window after plunging the straw in and taking a sip. He felt a gentle tap on his leg so he would make space on the window ledge where he was sitting. Taekwoon settled next to him and stared out the window too.

"One of those days?" Taekwoon asked.

"Yeah," Hakyeon answered.

The members have gotten used to it by now. Once in a while, the cheerful, nosy, and affectionate Cha Hakyeon just sits quietly in a corner, barely interacting with any of them.

So Taekwoon just sat silently with him, while they both stared at the city lights from their dorm window sipping their drinks.

Once the tiny bottle was empty, Hakyeon shook it a little, as if it would magically have more banana milk inside. But then he just set it down on the ledge.

The fact that Taekwoon bothered to get him a drink already made him feel better. His presence was greatly appreciated.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like if one of us isn't here?" Hakyeon suddenly said. He thought, for all the effort Taekwoon made, he deserved to hear at least a little of what Hakyeon was thinking about.

Taekwoon didn't answer, knowing Hakyeon was just blurting out his thoughts.

"What if it wasn't Wonshik, or Jaehwan? What if it wasn't you... Or me?"

That was Taekwoon's cue to inch closer to Hakyeon. To ensure that his self-doubt wasn't overwhelming him.

"If I wasn't here, maybe you would have been their leader." Hakyeon continued blankly staring outside.

"That would be disastrous," Taekwoon snorted. He put down his empty strawberry milk bottle on the ledge and reached out for Hakyeon's hand.

"I think that would be fun." Hakyeon chuckled. He squeezed Taekwoon's hand, to let him know that he deeply appreciated the gesture. "For you guys, at least. I wouldn't be here to watch it happen."

"I don't."

"Huh?" Hakyeon finally turned his head to face Taekwoon.

"I don't think about things like that."

"Hmmmm..." Hakyeon hummed and smiled. His gaze followed Taekwoon's which was directed at both of their hands, now intertwined by the fingers. "I figured, yeah." Hakyeon knew Taekwoon had his own share of anxieties. The difference was that Hakyeon mostly thinks of the past and what could have changed, while Taekwoon worries more about the future. It was a good balance between the two of them, although Hakyeon knew there's just no use worrying about what already happened.

"I won't have it any other way." Taekwoon pulled Hakyeon gently. "We want you here... As our friend." He fixed Hakyeon's hair with his other hand.

"As our leader." He dragged his index finger from Hakyeon's forehead down to the tip of his nose.

"As Cha Hakyeon," and then he softly swiped his thumb over Hakyeon's lower lip before leaning in for a kiss.

Hakyeon leaned forward as well to meet him. It was soft, chaste, and quick, but it was everything Hakyeon needed and more.

"Thank you," Hakyeon smiled. He squeezed Taekwoon's hand once again. "The strawberry is tasty."

Taekwoon stared at him, confused for a split second before smiling as he understood what Hakyeon meant.

"I still prefer banana though."

Taekwoon chuckled. "Just be glad I wasn't drinking coffee."

They stayed by the window for a while, not really talking anymore. Just sitting in comfortable silence and enjoying the presence of each other.

Hakyeon wouldn't have it any other way either.