“Taekwoon.” Hakyeon walked fast behind Taekwoon. They just finished recording for Music Bank and is now on their way to their waiting room. The leader tried to catch up to the main vocalist but as he tried to move fast, the taller just seemed to walk faster.

He noticed it. Hakyeon noticed it, because there is nothing involving the members that Hakyeon doesn’t notice. And today, Taekwoon wasn’t being himself. Sure, he never really talks, but he already improved, though that is not what he means. Taekwoon has been a lot more silent than he was before, he never talks, only when asked. He was closing himself again, just like before, only a lot worse. And Hakyeon was afraid of that. He doesn’t want Taekwoon to be distant again. Not now when they are all this close and inseparable, not when he can really see that Taekwoon is happy. But seeing the way Taekwoon is now, is he really?

“Taekwoon, wait for me.” Hakyeon tried once again. He steals a glance to the other members far behind the two oldest, walking and joking around. But when he looked back to where the main vocalist is, no one was there. Slowly, anxiousness crept its way inside Hakyeon. It is already concerning that Taekwoon was not being himself and Hakyeon knows it is far more concerning that Taekwoon just disappeared.

“Taekwoon!” He called out to the hall stretched in front of him. Doors leading to different waiting rooms and storage rooms adorned the hall, lights bright as the sun, but Hakyeon can swear it just give him chills. Broadcasting stations haven’t really been his favorite place since then. The pressure and tension floating in the air just makes it seem like hell, if he was being honest. Plus, the fact that so many people roam around, barking orders, shuffling through bags and bags of something Hakyeon isn’t that concerned to even know.

Hakyeon looked around, fear slowly creeping in like a monster at night. He kept looking, while trying to look calm in front of all the people he was passing by. He met a few people he knew, and he tried his best to keep his conversations with them short. Screw professionalism for now, Taekwoon is more important than all of those.

“Where is he?” Thinking logically, the leader decided that the main vocalist might just have gone to their waiting room. Hakyeon resumed his steps towards the third door on his left, a paper saying “VIXX” was pasted neatly affront the door, a silent declaration that it is indeed VIXX that occupies the room.

“Taekwoon-ah.” He said with relief evident in his voice. There in the far left corner of the waiting room is Taekwoon, already dressed in his usual clothes, and busily typing away something in his device. The vocalist didn’t give a single indication that he heard Hakyeon, but Hakyeon knows better. With a heavy sigh, he closed the distance from the door to where Taekwoon is, standing in front of the vocalist, yet—as stubbornly as he is—Taekwoon still didn’t acknowledge him.

“Talk to me, Taekwoon-ah. I know there is something wrong.” Hakyeon tried to coax him with words. “How will I help you if you don’t tell me?”

Silence came after Hakyeon’s words. He continued standing beside the vocalist, ears at the ready when the door suddenly opened and revealed the other members. First, there came Sanghyuk and Jaehwan, the older of the two’s arms around the younger and the both is seemingly absorbed in whatever they were talking about that they didn’t notice the thick tension in the room. Hongbin and Wonshik followed shortly, and Hakyeon saw how the smile in Hongbin’s delicate face faltered upon entering the room. Hongbin noticed him and Taekwoon, and if he did, good thing he didn’t say a thing. It will only stir the other members and Hakyeon doesn’t want that.

“Kids, rest for a while and changed your clothes. We don’t have another schedule after this so we are free to go home. Manager-nim will be fetching us.” Hakyeon cheerfully said, and the cheers that erupted from the four younger members brought a small smile to Hakyeon.

The members immediately set off to do what has to be done. The three members—Jaehwan, Wonshik and Sanghyuk—seemed like they are still clueless about the situation. Hongbin on the other hand, is now looking at them, a crease on his handsome forehead is visible, like he is thinking so hard about something.

Hakyeon approached the visual and offered him a comforting smile. “What is wrong Binnie? Aren’t you feeling well?” The concern in is voice is genuine, despite already knowing what is bothering the younger. He was answered after a few moments of silence, “Is something wrong with you and Taekwoon hyung?” There came the straightforward question. The visual has always been like that, honest and straightforward, Hakyeon admired those, but right now, he doesn’t know if he does.

Afraid that Hongbin might be troubled if he knew the truth, Hakyeon answered with a smooth white lie, one he mastered all throughout his acting career, “What are you talking about, Binnie?” he paused and looked at the younger, showing a smile that Hakyeon only hopes will fool the younger, “Nothing’s wrong with us. We were just talking about stuff. You don’t have to worry.” The look that the younger gave him says that he doesn’t believe him, but as he is Hakyeon—Hongbin’s ever trusted Hyung—the younger just gave a small smile and nodded, paddling away towards Wonshik who was busy changing his clothes.

Shifting his attention from Hongbin to Taekwoon, Hakyeon situated himself on the empty seat beside Taekwoon. “Talk to me, Jung Taekwoon.” Hakyeon pleaded—but more like commanded. His authority as the leader was visible in his tone, but if Taekwoon ever sensed it, he didn’t falter.

The main vocalist continued typing away in his phone, never really paying attention to the concerned leader beside him. He doesn’t want to worry Hakyeon anymore. He knows that despite the soft smiles his leader sports, the tan leader is exhausted with all the stuff that he needs to attend to. And Taekwoon believes that he need not to meddle with his personal insecurities—that being his own problem.

“Taekwoon-ah.” The leader once again called. Taekwoon can sense the worry in his voice, the slight crack he heard when the leader once again called his name gave indications that Hakyeon was on the verge on breaking down. Taekwoon very well knows how Hakyeon becomes frustrated and troubled every time one of s doesn’t tell him what’s troubling them, and this time is one of those very few examples.

And so Taekwoon carefully pocketed his phone and looked at the anxious leader beside him.

“Taekwoon-ah.” The leader once again called his name.

“Nothing’s wrong Hakyeon. You shouldn’t meddle with my business.” He said, a bit more coldly than he intended to. He saw a flash of hurt passed that leader’s eyes and Taekwoon immediately regrets his choice of words. What he said wasn’t really what he meant. He just wanted to tell Hakyeon not to worry about other things outside his grasp, but he ended up wounding the elder. That is one reason why he never really talks, but what’s done is done, what’s said is said. He can’t take back what he said anymore.

Despite the pained expression that Hakyeon sported just moments ago, he smiled, ever so softly. And what he said made Taekwoon regret what he said, and even more for hurting him, “Your business is my business too, Taekwoon-ah. You can’t stop me from meddling with that, even if it angers you. I might just be few months older than you, but I’m still older. I am very much responsible for each and every one of my precious dongsaengs. And your one of them.  But you are more like my life-long friend, you know that right?”

Taekwoon was looking at him with an obviously dazed expression. Hakyeon stifles a laugh at that.

“You weren’t expecting that reply, were you? Your expression says it all. But Taekwoonie, you might have forgot that you are talking to Cha Hakyeon, your ever annoying and stubborn leader. Now tell me my Woonie, what’s troubling you?”

Taekwoon heaved a deep sigh. How can he ever deny Hakyeon if he is always like this? How can he ever deny the person who stayed by his side after all his denials and aloofness? Once again, he looked at the older and took a glance to the mirror situated in front of him. There, he saw the other members shuffling around, looking for their own stuff that were somewhat just around the room, waiting to be recovered by their rightful owners, and somehow, he swallows a smile when he saw the four younger boys throwing jokes—more like playful insults—towards each other.

When he was sure enough that no one will pay them even the slightest attention, he focused his gaze on the older beside him, silently waiting for whatever he will say.

“Hakyeon”, Taekwoon finally said for quite a while. The familiar comforting and assuring feeling he feels whenever he utters Hakyeon’s name is present. He doesn’t really know why he have those. Perhaps it’s because he respects and trusts Hakyeon more than what he shows or perhaps because it is just that way ever since the beginning. Taekwoon doesn’t know, he doesn’t intend to.

For all the time Taekwoon spent contemplating whether he should tell Hakyeon what’s bothering him or not, Hakyeon held his gaze to Taekwoon, silently observing the changes in the main vocalist’s expressions.

“I don’t want to trouble you.”, Taekwoon softly admits. He looked at the leader, waiting for a reaction but nothing came. His leader was silently waiting for him to continue, and so he did. “I know that you have more things on your shoulders than all of ours combined. I can see it, Hakyeon. How those slowly puts off the fire inside you. The stress, the pressure, everything. And I don’t want to add up to them. I don’t want you to worry about something that doesn’t really deserve your attention—”

“Taekwoon, don’t say that. You are worth all the attention I can muster. Don’t think like that, Taekwoon-ah.” Hakyeon pleads, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“I don’t want you to be more stressed than you already are. I don’t want that Hakyeonnie. And so I decided that I shouldn’t tell you what’s up. But here you are, asking me what’s wrong despite my silence. You really are stubborn, aren’t you?” Taekwoon paused, and looked at the leader.

“I wouldn’t be Hakyeon if I’m not stubborn, would I?” The smile etched on Hakyeon’s ethereal face was enough to assure Taekwoon.

“These past few days, I’ve been thinking—”

“You’re always thinking.” He was interrupted by Hakyeon for the second time. He looked at Hakyeon, winter cold eyes boring holes into the leader, but Hakyeon didn’t even flinch, nor give any indication that he was affected by those.

“Are you gonna keep on cutting me?” The irritation was visible in the main vocalist’s words, and that made Hakyeon laugh, silently signaling Taekwoon to continue.

“I’ve been thinking of how we are not giving our Starlights what they really deserve. I mean, yes. We are doing the best of what we can but I feel like all of those are not enough. I want to give them everything, you want that too, right? They are precious to me. But this. It’s been how many days since our first win for Shangri-La and we haven’t got any more wins. And I know that they are all doing their best to make us first. I’m afraid we are not reciprocating all their efforts.” The vocalist was looking down. He can’t believe he just poured all his thoughts in front of Hakyeon, who was so silent.

Slowly, Taekwoon lift his gaze up to look at Hakyeon.

The leader was smiling, a small soft smile, “If our Starlights were to hear that, they will surely panic.” The leader said. “And they will say that what we are doing is enough. They can see it Taekwoon-ah. They can see that we are doing our every best, that is why they are also doing their best. We already got our first win, Taekwoon-ah. And I’m sure our Starlights are more than happy for that. We’ve won, and if we do again, then let’s be thankful and not worry. But if we don’t, let’s still be thankful. I believe that the He who is out there has a greater plan for us. Sometimes, as you say, our efforts might not be enough. But I know that you know that we are doing our very best, right? No matter what we achieve, our Starlights will always be there to support us. They have already proven that all these years, right?” Hakyeon was still smiling. The soft smile he gives off whenever he is thinking of something good.

“We need not to worry about those things, my Taekwoonie. We just have to continue what we are doing. We just have to continue to shine for our Starlights and I am sure, that is enough for them.” Hakyeon finished.

The main vocalist was now looking at Hakyeon, an unreadable expression in his face.

“You are right, Hakyeonnie.” He softly agreed.

Taekwoon felt Hakyeon’s arms slowly wrap around him, caging him into a tight but comforting hug. Taekwoon hates skin ships, but this time, just this once, he will allow it. And so he slowly reciprocated the older’s tight embrace.

“You are enough for who you are, Taekwoonie. Don’t ever doubt that.” Hakyeon hot breath fanned against Taekwoon’s nape as he whispered those words.

Hakyeon felt the main vocalist’s embrace tightly a little bit more, an action that Hakyeon took as a sign of gratitude. He smiled to himself. He should have known that it was something like that was the thing that was bothering Taekwoon, after all, it’s something that’s been bothering him too. But as he said, he knows that their Starlights understand and it was all enough for now.

They stayed like that for a while, devouring the comfort that only the two of them can give to each other. It has been long since Taekwoon did this. And he was glad that Hakyeon was annoying enough to pester him into telling him his problem. He was also thankful that despite his sharp knife-like words, Hakyeon never seemed to mind, and he was glad for that, for all of this.

“What are you two doing cuddling like that in our waiting room?” The playful voice of their maknae was the one that pulled the two oldest out of their trance. Upon realizing that the attention of the other four members were now on them, the two immediately let go of each other, avoiding the questioning yet teasing looks that the youngers were giving them. The four members didn’t fail to notice the slight blush that was present on both of the cheeks of their hyungs.

“What were you two talking about that the atmosphere around you two were really intense?” Jaehwan asked. He was looking at them suspiciously, like they are some kind of criminal that was caught in the act of doing some crime. Well, if embracing in the middle of their waiting room is a crime, then yes, they were really caught in the act.

“Did you two finally admit your feelings to each other?” The sudden question from Sanghyuk made Hakyeon’s and Taekwoon’s eyes widen, and the other members ended up bursting into fits of laughter.

“What are you talking about, Han Sanghyuk? Who taught you things like that?” Hakyeon looked around the five of them, looking for a guilty face.

“It’s not me, I swear.” Jaehwan’s sudden words made Hakyeon snap his head towards him. The younger was smiling that smile he have whenever he is trying to act cute, but Hakyeon was not fooled.

“Hyung, what do you think of me, a five-year old?” Sanghyuk retorted. The leader’s attention snapped back to the youngest when the group’s soft rapper intervened in the conversation.

“But aren’t you, though?” Wonshik challenged Sanghyuk with a wide grin etched on his face.

“Yah yah yah. Stop teasing Hyukkie, Wonshik-ah. He might cry and tell you to his Hakyeon eomma.” Hongbin added, making the youngest of the group fume in anger.

“Kids, stop that.” Hakyeon said, sensing the anger of the youngest towards the other members, but it seemed like it was all too late, as Wonshik and Hongbin were already running around, trying to escape the wrath of an angry Sanghyuk that was running after the two of them. Jaehwan was sprawled on the floor, doing his best to contain his laughter, but poor him, little Sanghyuk spotted him. The youngest approached a very oblivious Jaehwan and surprised him by tickling the life out of him. The act caused Jaehwan to wiggle out of Sanghyuk’s strong grasp, while still trying to contain his laughter.

The scene that was unfolding in front of the two oldest of the group brought smiles to Hakyeon. He didn’t try to stop the other four, he was used to this. And in truth, if Sanghyuk wasn’t the one who was chasing the other three, it would have been Hakyeon.

“Hakyeonnie.” Hakyeon heard a soft call from beside him. He glanced towards Taekwoon, raising his eyebrows at the process.

“You’re right.” The voice that came out of the main vocalist was very soft you will never believe it came from him.

“You’ve said that already.” Hakyeon said. His smile never faltered even when Taekwoon casted upon him a look that could probably kill anyone struck with those.

The main vocalist ignored his comment and looked at the other members, “I shouldn’t worry about those things. Our Starlights are happy, and so are we. And that is all enough.” Taekwoon declared.

“I’m glad you understand.” Came Hakyeon’s reply.

A few days ago, he would have doubted it himself, but seeing everyone around him now, he knows it’s the truth. Nothing can ever be compared to happiness. Because the true contentment is being happy despite all the things that are troubling you. Sure, problems will always be present, but with the help of all the members, they will be able to overcome that, together.