Daeyang

The rustles from the curtains disturb Tzuyu’s concentration. It was already past two in the morning and she’s still wide awake, writing reports for her work. It was one thing that she was using someone else’s laptop, the other thing was that she’s not inside her room.

Her thoughts drift back to the girl making her confused all over again. The only girl who made her wait, wanting more than an undefined bond. She wouldn’t call it a relationship because it never was. It was something floating. Delicate yet delightful to see. Once again, gone were her work thoughts and they were replaced by the thoughts of Nayeon. Im Nayeon. The mere name makes her head hurt.

Tzuyu had to mess her hair and heave out a sigh. Her scattered papers on the center table. The silk shorts she brought slipping up while her loose muscle shirt covered most of her thighs. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun. 

“Hey, you’re still not done?” she turned her head and saw Elkie with almost the same outfit as her and hair disheveled from sleep.

“You’re supposed to be asleep,” Tzuyu said to Elkie. The girl chuckled and sat beside her on the floor, “You have work later.”

“So do you. Why haven’t you slept?” Elkie leaned her head on Tzuyu’s shoulder, something she’s used to doing. The taller girl sighed and patted Elkie’s head.

“I need to finish this first. Later’s the deadline,” she explained. Elkie hummed and closed her eyes, snuggling closer to Tzuyu.

Elkie, is somewhat a friend. Tzuyu met her way back before she even entered college. Ever since high school, she had been playing volleyball and that where she met Elkie. The girl’s one of the most promising players of her generation. She played for a prestigious school in the capital. Tzuyu was supposed to be her teammate if only her father allowed her. But no, she had to enter one of the most exclusive schools. But with that being done, Elkie graduated two years ahead of Tzuyu. She’s older anyway.

“Thinking of someone again?” a smile formed on her lips. “Nayeon again, Tzuyu?”

“I’m sorry,” she chuckled. “It’s over, okay? Nayeon’s not gonna make me confused again.”

“I sure hope so,” Elkie snuggled closer and hid her face on the crook of Tzuyu’s neck. “I don’t like Nayeon.”

“Wish I could say the same,” she answered. Tzuyu’s gaze went to their hands. Her fingers fit perfectly with Elkie’s. Something that never happened between her and Nayeon.

“I told you, you’ll forget her. Just don’t flirt back, hmm?” she didn’t answer. How could she even resist Nayeon in the first place?

Okay, maybe Elkie wasn’t just a friend. Just like with Nayeon before, they were playing between blurred lines and unsaid labels. This one’s different though. Tzuyu’s sure that Elkie likes her. She’s just not sure if she feels the same. For seven years, they had always been a push and pull kind of relationship. Elkie gets a guy or girl (mostly guys), Tzuyu does too. But when they’re both single, they act like they’re together.

“I try not to,” Tzuyu whispered.

“Are you going to play?” Elkie looked up, meeting her eyes. There was something in the way Elkie looked at her. There was fear? Uncertainty? A need for reassurance? She’s not sure but Tzuyu opted not to answer. Labels make everything complicated.

Instead, she kissed Elkie’s cheek and turned to the laptop, “I’ll be with Chaeng and Dahyun too.” Elkie sighed and kissed her cheek too.

“I’ll be inside my room, okay? Sleep before three,” the older girl stood up and went inside her room. They were inside Elkie’s condo unit. Tzuyu needed to finish reports and she can’t do it at home so she stayed at Elkie’s. Which was okay because the girl lives alone.

Tzuyu stared at the screen and sighed. It was going to be a long dawn for her.

~

“Tzuyu-ah, you free tonight? We’re gonna have dinner,” an officemate asked. Tzuyu was about to say yes when her phone rang.

“Excuse me,” she smiled and answered her phone, “Elkie? Why?”

“Can you stay with me tonight? Please, baby,” the girl’s voice was quivering. She did not know why but one thing was sure, she couldn’t possibly leave Elkie alone.

Tzuyu sighed, “Of course. I’ll see you tonight.” When the call ended, she apologetically looked at her officemate, “Sorry. I can’t.”

After finishing her work, Tzuyu hailed a cab and called her mom, telling her that she won’t be coming home. Her mom knows Elkie and she’s okay with Tzuyu spending the night there. It was closer to work anyway.

She entered the condominium lobby and greeted the guards. Tzuyu’s already known by the staff and personnel there so she didn’t have to show her ID. She entered the elevator and pressed Elkie’s floor. The feeling of dread spread over her, Elkie rarely cries but when she does, it only means one thing.

Tzuyu pressed the doorbell continuously, not minding that her finger hurts from the constant pressing. When the door opened, she saw a wrecked look on her friend(if Elkie’s even just a friend). Tzuyu stepped inside and locked the door, pulling Elkie into a hug, “What’s wrong?”

“D-daddy called,” she sighed. She knew about Elkie’s daddy issues. Her dad often tells her to not work because she has no future.

“It’s okay. He’s wrong. Let’s get to bed,” Tzuyu guided Elkie and laid down the bed. Elkie cuddling up and crying on her neck. She didn’t mind. Elkie was her source of sanity for the past years. She wasn’t about to leave her the moment Elkie needs her most. She wouldn’t do that.

Even though Elkie was older by two years, Tzuyu still cares for the girl so much that sometimes, she forgets that she’s younger. Especially when Elkie is vulnerable like what happened now. When Tzuyu was sure that the older girl was asleep, she stood up and went to find clothes in Elkie’s closet. She’s sure that she has some clothes. When she found her varsity shorts and a shirt, she grabbed her own bathrobe and went inside the bathroom.

The warm water washed through Tzuyu’s body. It was relaxing. After a long day of work, it felt good to get cleaned. When she finished, she went back in the room and saw Elkie sitting on the bed, looking like she was waiting for the Chinese girl.

“Thought you were asleep,” Tzuyu said, drying her hair with a towel. Elkie stood up and hugged her, even towering over. “What?” she asked, statued on her post and surprised by what the older girl did.

“Sorry for making you sleep here,” the girl whispered. Tzuyu nodded and patted Elkie’s shoulder.

“I always sleep here, what do you mean?” she joked, trying to lift up the mood. “Since you’re awake, I’ll cook something. You still have the stock I bought last time, right?”

Tzuyu made her way to the kitchen, Elkie following her. She prepared the things needed to cook a simple meal for the both of them.

“I’m the older one here. Why are you the one taking care of me?” Elkie said while playing with her glass.

“Because you can cook but I can cook better,” Tzuyu replied. She turned around and leaned on the counter, staring at Elkie.

Tzuyu wonders, why can’t she just like Elkie? Why can’t she love Elkie? The girl’s beautiful. Both men and women swoon over the girl but here she is, not wanting to push their level further. She asks herself why. Why can’t she just go for it? Surely, Elkie will be a good match for her. They’ve proved it over the years. Although they weren’t really together, they know they’ll work. And that’s what frustrates Tzuyu. It will work! But she can’t bring herself to start it all because she’s still waiting for something (someone) that will not happen.

Im Nayeon.

The name makes her feel mad and sad at the same time. Maybe Nayeon will always be Tzuyu’s biggest ‘What If’. But that doesn’t mean she’s okay with it. Honestly, she wants to try. The doesn’t matter but she can’t possibly make a move because she doesn’t even know what Nayeon feels in the first place. It’s better to play everything safe than risk looking a dumbstruck child in front of the older girl.

“What are you thinking?” Elkie brings her back to reality. Tzuyu blinks and turns around, fixing what she was cooking, “You’re with me and you’re thinking about someone else.”

“I was thinking about work,” she replied. Tzuyu placed the fried rice in a plate and put it on the table, “Go eat.” She sat down in front of Elkie and started eating too. The silence between the two was comfortable. Something they were used to after the years of being friends.

“Nayeon,” Tzuyu stopped eating and looked at Elkie. “You still like her?”

The food stayed on Tzuyu’s throat. She couldn’t speak but she forced herself to swallow and closed her eyes, “I don’t think so.”

“You’re not a good liar, Tzuyu,” her gripped tightened on the spoon.

“We don’t talk about Nayeon, Elkie. You know that,” Tzuyu said but the older girl just continued eating.

“What if she pushes it? What if Nayeon tells you she wants to be with you? Are you going to take it?”

“I don’t know. I never thought about it,” Tzuyu sighs and drinks water.

“You’ll say yes. I know you will,” there was a hint of bitterness in Elkie’s voice.

Tzuyu snapped, “Why the hell are we even talking about this? Nayeon is off limits. Even to me. She won’t make a move. I know it already, okay? I’ll just be another one of her toys she played with and eventually got tired of. I get it, okay? Stop rubbing it in.” She stood up and went inside the room, slumping her body on the bed.

What was Elkie’s problem anyway? They rarely talk about Nayeon. In fact, they never talk about Nayeon. The girl knows that Nayeon’s a sensitive topic for Tzuyu but why does she keep pushing?

“Annoying,” Tzuyu uttered and then buried her face on the pillow. The object smells like Elkie, the sweet strawberry scent attacking her nose, making her feel relaxed.

She was about to drift to sleep when Elkie entered the room, slipping on the bed, hugging her, “Sorry,” she whispered. Tzuyu did not respond. She simply stayed still, “Tzuyu, I’m sorry.”

“Let’s sleep,” the younger girl finally said. Even when she’s annoyed, she can’t really stay mad at Elkie. She cares for the girl too much to even be mad. So when she felt Elkie’s arms around her waist, spooning her, she relaxed and turned around, burying her face on the older girl’s shoulder.

“Sorry, baby,” were the words Elkie whispered. Of course. How can she forget? Elkie calls her that when all forms of playfulness are gone.

“It’s okay,” she said. Tzuyu closed her eyes, finally drifting to sleep. The warmth coming from Elkie’s body making her feel safe. Safe from everything that could possibly hurt her. Even from Nayeon.

“Love you,” maybe she was dreaming when she heard those words. Because Elkie wouldn’t say those. Tzuyu trusted and hoped that she won’t.

~

[From: Dahyun 05:38PM]

Wru?

[To: Dahyun 05:38PM]

Otw! Why?

[From: Dahyun 05:39PM]

We’re starting.

[From: Dahyun 05:39PM]

She’s not here.

[To: Dahyun 05:41PM]

Who?

[From: Dahyun 05:42PM]

Coach Nayeon

[To: Dahyun 05:43PM]

Good. I don’t want Elkie upset.

[From: Dahyun 05:44PM]

Are you two dating again?

[To: Dahyun 05:45PM]

We never dated. And no, we’re not dating.

Tzuyu locks her phone and rides the bus going to her former school. The heavy gym bag on her right shoulder bumping to people but she didn’t mind. She missed playing and she was excited. She honestly hoped that Nayeon wouldn’t be present. She didn’t want to see those eyes and be confused again. She made up her mind, no more Nayeon. If she wants to be with Tzuyu, then she needs to make a move. Tzuyu wouldn’t wait forever.

The tall girl reaches the gym and meets Chaeyoung, “Hey.”

“‘Sup!” Chaeyoung hugs her.

“I’m tired,” she joked. They went up the fifth floor and stretched.

Dahyun looked at her with judging eyes, “What?”

“Elkie,” Chaeyoung looked at her too.

“You two again?” Tzuyu let out at frustrated sigh.

“We, Elkie and me, are not together. We’re just friends!” she insists. Dahyun nods nonchalantly and continues to stretch. Tzuyu opted to keep quiet than to snap at her two best friends.

After playing, which she enjoyed a lot, Tzuyu took a warm shower but she crouched inside the cubicle, clutching her shoulder. The injury that was supposed to be healed was hurting. It may be due to the sudden exercise. She bit her lip and gripped her shoulder. No one knows about her shoulder aside from Coach Jihyo. She stood up and finished her shower, wearing her extra clothes and then walking to the bus station with Chaeyoung.

“So,” the small girl started. Tzuyu looked at her and arched a brow, “You and Elkie are really still just friends?”

“Yeah,” she answered. Speaking of Elkie, it’s been three days since they last spoke. Not that Tzuyu minded, it was a normal thing between them.

“Did you ever think that maybe Elkie’s the one you should give thought about? You two are almost it,” her friend asked.

“I think about it. I think about that a lot,” Tzuyu carried her bag on her left shoulder. “But I can’t do that to her, you know? Elkie’s such a good friend. I can’t hurt her like that.”

“Hurt her? You’ve barely touched her in a way,” Chaeyoung countered.

“Exactly. I don’t want to start. Besides, I’m too much of a mess to even look at someone else,” she thought about Nayeon. The only girl who happens to be inside her mind for the past year. Every single day, not a miss, Nayeon’s there. Always lingering inside her mind.

“Yeah, says your five crushes,” Chaeyoung scoffed. Tzuyu laughed and shook her head.

“My crushes? They’re just there to entertain me but Elkie? I can’t lose. I’ll probably go insane if I lose her,” she utters. Elkie’s a pillar in Tzuyu’s life. Seven? Eight years? She can’t imagine not having the girl.

“Still Coach Nayeon?” she was caugh