All the best people are crazy

"Target approaching in 3 minutes. Just passed by me–"

"Taaaaarget saaaaauntering past Guaaaaaardian of Gaaalaxy hyunnnnnng" Jongin monotonously announced to a slim figure by the lockers, sounding very interested and getting turn of heads but none wore an eccentric face. It was too normal for them by this point. Lee Taemin and his crew casually shooting a scene of a romantic drama in which Taemin– The crackhead–was the main character and Choi Minho had the lead role. 

However, was there any need to inform the lead role for being featured? Taemin did not think so.

The frail male dramatically looked from the ajar locker door, batting his long eyelashes dreamily at the imposing male, uncaring of his friend Kim Jongin's constricting of eyebrows at the supposedly banana peel on the ground. The younger male raised a hand to protest but Taemin cut him off, wearing the goofiest unfaltering smile. 

"So you push me and I slip by the banana peel–"

"But that's not even a banana peel."

"It's shaped like one," the crackhead stated, matter of factly. 

"Those are orange peels, airhead." 

"Nobody can tell."

"Clearly." Jongin replied with much needed enthusiasm and turned to Lee Jinki, Taemin's older brother, on the phone. "He dumped the banana peel I provided and replaced it with orange peels" 

"What a genius my brother is! He shall have his name written in the Hall of fame!" came a rather magisterial cackle. Jongin brought the phone screen to his face and eyed it with a dead look before stabbing the end-call button on the screen. 

Nope. Not this bull again.

"On second thoughts. Why don't you magically slip, Taemin?" It was a rather dry comment to knock some sense into the frail boy but he saw the boy turn with the most animated twinkling eyes, his plush lips stretched into a wide beam. 

"Or maybe on the floor for me. That would be even more slippery!" Jongin opened his mouth to protest, eventually shutting it and opening again to deliver a snarky comment but Taemin had already turned his back on him and somehow had binoculars in his small hands. 

"Your daddy's literally two steps away, are you ing serious."Taemin panicked, manhandling the binoculars into Jongin's possession and shut the locker door loud and clear. 

"I was trying to look for a flaw in him," he reasoned and placed a palm against the metal surface, blowing onto his long brown bangs and drew out his a bit too forcefully.

"With binoculars?" 

With shrill screams and a tsunami of fangirls, came in the Kingka of the highschool, Choi Minho. Wearing grey sweatshirt and sweatpants, his famous casual style, Minho towered down the hall with his fashionista friend, Kim Kibum. The male with feline eyes had dark sunglasses on with a rather flashy piece of clothing and backpack hanging from his arm.

"Look at them choco abs, Jongin," Taemin squealed at Jongin, who had his chin rested on the boy's shoulder to not fall asleep at the sight. The younger man yawned and nodded. 

"Yes, I have x-ray vision, nice to meet you fellow alien." Taemin paid no heed to his jealous friend and strolled closer, leaving Jongin annoyed for the rude way of jerking his chin off his shoulder. "Everyone behold! Make way, for, our princess, Lee Taemin is going to slip on a....banana peel and his knight in shining attire will dash through the tsunami of minions to catch him. Cameras rolling in 3 2 1!" Jongin notified the unwavering crowd and fell into the shadows. 

"Minho wait! For, it is about time thee land them frog eyes on thy princess. Thou art fair, O my beloved Knight! So come and cushion thy princess with them choco abs–" Taemin jumped in front of Minho and jerked his chin to the peels' direction to indicate his plans to a rather eerie looking Minho, Kibum bobbing his head in to scrutinize the peels. 

"Please catch him or he'll have reasons as to why you did not, for e.g a fly coming into your view–" Jongin cut in but was silenced by a dramatic raise of an arm from among the crowd. 

"–Ignore this peasant, Knight, for, he is my brother's ex-lover and a jealous one for that cause! I caught him putting poison in one of the burgers–" There was a pronounced scoff as Minho blinked at this place's President, watching him tear his way to the weirded out pair. "Save my brother from this–" Jinki jabbed his index into Jongin's nostril, the frail boy gaping at the scene with emphasized sad face. 

"I am not a this and Guardian of Galaxy hyung, that was ketchup, not poison. Jeez–" 

"Just because I am a guard outside a Samsung store, doesn't mean you step on my pride like this, you peasant–" 

"Halt! What is this I hear–Poison in my burger?" Taemin rolled all the way from his spot into Minho's uninviting arms, batting his long eyelashes at the hovering male's perplexed daze. "Break the curse with thy kiss, for, how many days art left of me, I do not know!" The shorter male jutted out his bottom lips and closed his eyes standing on his tippy-toes with lingering fingers settling on the man's shoulders.

Minho took one of his wrist and placed the back of his hand against the boy's awaiting luscious lips, getting a reaction right away. "Who is this with nerves to block this important kiss, I ask!" Taemin fluttered his eyes open, noticing his own hand. "You rebellious limb! You shall have to be sent to the pits of hell!" 

"Maybe try investing on bananas. You look banana-deprived." Minho snarked, scrunching his face and shrugging his way past a huffing Taemin. 

"Yours is the banana I want, daddy!" Jongin facepalmed, revaluating ever being friends with this crackhead. There was an echo of Oos when the shameless statement reached Minho's ears. Kibum gnawed at his inner cheek, smirking.

"He's crazy, Choi." 

"A total crackhead, Kim." 

And off the pair went, disappearing into Narnia, as the boy described. 

Minho strode to the pool vacancy in his boxers and a white towel, tailed by a preabsorbed Kibum who kind of almost bumped into a random pillar but cussed at the pillar for magically appearing in front of his perfect face. The feline looking boy dumped his body weight on the benches by the pool and hummed his way into pulling out his phone. As soon as Minho lowered himself into the water, up came a fish–or so, a horrified Minho suggested his brain. At first the big fish had a beautiful tail, almost too ethereal to be real with purple and blue sequins attached to the scales–attached? Something did not fit right and it became inevitable to duck into the water when the fish tugged at his boxers. If it wasn't for the goddamn H₂O, Minho would have let out a yelp but as fast as the fear of a mermaid in their pool magically appearing out of a void set in his head, faster did it dissolve into the water when he came face to face with someone–

In a mermaid costume. 

Huffing up air in his lungs, Minho surfaced to the water and coughed, finding the mermaid follow him all the way up and let out a long series of coughs and gasps. 

"Minho!" The boy squealed in between his wheezes on the verge of suffocating himself for staying under water for too long–waiting for his daddy, of course–pleasantly startled. Kibum shot a pair of humourless eyes to the pair in the water, squinting at the iridescent glitter over the boy's body. He couldn't help but watch in awe, for, the boy wore a strap-down shirt tucked inside a mermaid tail. His collarbones and cheekbones highlighted with iridescent glitter and sequins and complimenting his dainty features. The boy wore a pinned side-parting and maybe liptint? For God's sake, Kibum did not have binoculars as eyes but he found his jaw dropping all the way to the floor, a weird but captivating aura around the frail male.  

"What the actual ." Minho breathed, his heart caught in his throat over the delicious sight. Somewhere down there, he could feel hap over the delicacy displayed by the crackhead. Before his brain could question his sanity and his over all existence for having his heart leap out of his chest at the sight of a male in a mermaid costume, Minho swam his way to the edge of the pool and began to climb up; Taemin, of course swayed his following up. 

"You were looking for me, right? My fairy must have told you I was here," uttering dreamily, Taemin found himself trapped when Minho began walking away; well someone was not enjoying putting on a tail anymore. Like the for Choi ing Minho he was, he promptly stripped himself off the tail, uncaring of the Kibum's balling eyes when his eyes went all the way to his abdomen, finding nothing but a tight . 

Someone's too thirsty despite all the water in the pool. 

"What is this piece of attire I see, my knight?" Minho rolled his eyes at the towel he was holding and decided it was best to ignore this lunatic of a junior. 

"O princess, it's called a towel! Very soft I must say," Kibum jumped in, earning an 'are you ing, like, very ing serious right now Kibum?' look from Minho when suddenly he pereived that the towel had vanished. 

Nope, just a wild crackhead appearing out of thin air. 

Taemin rubbed his round cheek against the material, "A towel? It smells like my knight, does it not? I shall have it pinned to the wall of my room–" 

"That's ing creepy. Don't you have anything better to do than follow me around and steal my stuff? You –" Minho nagged with his bulky arms crossed against his well-built exposed cursed torso. The delicate boy shot his round eyes up and got to his knees before the hovering Choi. Yup– He very well knew what was co–

"I do, with pleasure," Taemin cut in with his creepy grin, urging a choke–probably on air–from Kibum and then his typical hysteric laugh. "I ride too." 

"Props to you for that confidence, Lee! I hereby ask for your hand in marriage with my friend," Kibum raised his chin, gently taking Taemin's thin wrist and sliding the slim fingers into Minho's hand–which, obviously objected and even went as far as to hearing Choi utter cutting his limb off right then and there but none was heard by the jumping boy and his infected friend. 

"The mermaid, Airelee Taemin has found Prince Erichoi Minho amidst all the chaos of the approaching storm! Love wins!" Jinki informed Jongin over the phone who shot a rigid look to the man standing literally two steps away before bringing his own gadget to his ear and cheering monotonously. 

"Yeeey"

Next twinkling, Minho found himself on the mercy of an overly y mermaid grinding his plump onto his crotch and a retarded friend urging him on.

Disease name: Crackhead-ness
Microorganism/Specie of human: Lee Taemin
Infected person no. 69: Kim Kibum
My SOS message before Fatality: Wingardium Leviosa me, Jesus. 

"Taemin, Minho's coming. This time I swear to God if you don't act normal–"

"I gotchu. Just don't look my way and leave the dog–"

"Cat and it's not mine, by the ing way." Jongin corrected, rolling his eyes to the back of his head. 

"–Leave the dog to the footpath. I'll just be patting it as you instructed. Happy?" 

"Whatever. Just don't pull off–"

"Masked man, my dog's in danger!" Came out a shrill cry from the nook of the street, Jongin very well recognised this voice. Lee Jinki. Before he could pivot about his position and halt Taemin in his wicked plans, he felt the boy speed past him in a black attire and a black cape flying behind him. "Masked man saves the cat identifying as a dog in 2018 so you and your judgmental point of view, I am going to go play fortnite." Jongin mutters under his breath and drags his feet to the lead role's place, watching with dead eyes. 

Taemin picks up the wandering cat and hugs it to his chest, earning a loud scowl and maybe a few scratches here and there when the cat struggled. Before the cat could slither away from his body and make a fool out of Taemin in front of his daddy–the irony– he handed it to its respectful owner–for the time being aka Lee Jinki and bowed 90 degrees. Minho watched the little drama unfold with an unfaltering smirk on his face, the badminton rackets slumped over his shoulder. 

"O thank you, Masked man–" Jinki wailed.

"JINKI STOP STEALING MY CAT, GODDAMN IT!" There it was, a holler from the Principal, pricking Jinki's ears up as he excused himself, biting half of his tongue off. 

Oops. 

"So– Masked man. Why don't you remove your mask? I am sure we all are very curious," Minho cooed, looking around at the lack of audience, muffling the urge to laugh at the boy's adorable efforts. 

"I shall not let my pride falter by revealing the concealed mi–"

"I'll give you a kiss if you do." Minho pressed, strolling over to the shorter male covered in black from head to toe. 

"Why thank you, I'll give you the honour to remove this irritating mask, my clothes and sacrifice my body to Satan, daddy." Minho could almost feel the boy's radiant grin from the mask as he extended a few lingering fingers to rid his fluffy hair off the big stupid hat and then went for the black mask, cleaely ignoring the gothic end of his statement. Underneath the exhausting pieces of clothing, Taemin looked rather flushed, biting his lips to bury the need to panick, cling, faint– and God just the rush of emotions was too much for his fragile body. 

Minho flickered with curious doe eyes, feeling the boy's slim fingers tremble against his own. He veered in, clinching on deepening that dust of pink on his cheeks. "Tell me. How much do you smoke a day?" Taemin fluttered his eyelashes shyly, puffing his cheeks, ascending his orbs to Minho's–and Jesus, those dark eyes were staring right into his. It was funny–hilarious, rather how much the boy was shivering when Minho was finally holding him. "So do you imagining me or what?" 

"No," Taemin replied softly, a sinful smile appearing on his lips. "I ride a banana imagining you." Minho blinked–something went rated-18 too soon–inching away just the slightest, snickering eventually. 

"You really are something." 

"It's time I ask for our deal, for, the clock will strike 12 any moment and I don't want this night to go to waste–" Minho looked over the boy's shoulder at the sky, which was indicating everything but the time around 12 or night, as the boy casually uttered. 

"Do you always talk like this?" The older male upbraided, tucking a stray strand of hair behind the boy's ear. "Or should I say. Do you always talk about nonsensical stuff?" 

"No. I talk about you and your hap a lot." Taemin bit his lips, eyeing the male's lips. "On second thoughts, can you shut up and kiss me? I have to prepare for other ways to catch your attention." The said male cackled a humourous one, shadowing in to meet the boy's luscious lips with his own full ones, silencing his pleas. Minho trickled his rebellious fingers down his slim back to his tailbone, feathering above his round sinful hips that he couldn't forget the day he was blessed with them in the tight . It took him all the pride to not that fluffy and settle on a tender pat, feeling the boy smile against his lips. 

However, what he did not expect from the devil in disguise was the turn of events when the shorter male squeezed Minho's large hands above his fluffy bottoms with a devious snigger, reminding him of his reputation. 

Lee Taemin, a junior who's apparently a crackhead for Choi Minho. 

"In the end, the princess wins over the Knight's heart–or it looks so and well, an orange is a banana and a cat is a dog." Kim Jongin chewed his gum past the couple–an unknown dollar store superhero and the highschool Kingka–with the most fragid mask he could find among tons of dead one. "It's about time he stops smoking pot." 

[A/N] Ok so this is my first ever one-shot and I know I KNOW, I . This is why I don't write oneshots, it's either I write too much or too little, there is no in between : ) Let me know in the comments about whose character did you like and just overall view you know. askfhwlkfnwf  Hope it was funny?? somewhat???