Hyunjin propped her chin on the palm of her hand, eyes unfocused and bleary. The heavy deluge outside only forced her further into her listless reverie, the opaque fog swirling about as cars whisked through its clouds.

“Hey, is this seat taken?”

It took a moment, but she eventually craned her neck to acknowledge the stranger looming above her. She was blonde, fairly pretty, and had an almost sultry lilt to her voice.

She airily shook her head, and the blonde smiled and happily slipped into the stool beside her.

“It’s ting cats and dogs outside, eh?”

She nodded.

“Not much of a talker?”

She shrugged.

“Hm. My name’s Jinsoul. Jung Jinsoul. You realize that this is a party, right?”

She did. But the bustling voices and the pungent scent of alcohol failed to pierce through her little bubble of seclusion. “Yes.”

Jinsoul raised her brows. “Woah, got a word out of you. What’s with the long face, girlie? Boy troubles?”

She grimaced. “Absolutely not.”

The blonde bobbed her head comprehendingly, getting the hint pretty quick. “...who’s the girl?”

A pang of hurt wrecked through her body, and she pinched the bridge of her nose to try and force herself to muffle the hollow throbbing of her heart.

“Ah, , sorry, I struck a nerve, didn’t I? Forget what I said, forget what I said.”

She lifted her head. “No, it’s been an ongoing issue for me. Nothing new. She’s over there dancing with her boyfriend.”

Jinsoul glanced in the direction she cocked her chin at, finding the dainty brunette and her pretty boy partner drifting in synchronized curlicues about the ample living quarters. “Straight girl crushes. I’ve been there, too.”

This piqued her interest somewhat. “You’re...you’re gay?”

“What? I don’t look it? , , I need to make some changes then.”

This prompted her to huff out a laugh for the first time in months. “No, sorry, I just assumed, that was on me.”

Jinsoul pursed her lips, “meh, I can forgive you. Your smile’s cute.”

She blushed. “Thanks.”

“I never got your name.”

“Hyunjin. Kim Hyunjin.”

Jinsoul took a swig of her beer, humming her approval. “It suits you.”

She flashed a fleeting smile. “Thanks.”

“If you don’t mind a total stranger asking, when did this unrequited love drama start?”

Another flicker of pain pulsated in her chest. She spun around, trying not to wince at the sight of her best friend romantically dancing about with her boyfriend. “Since the beginning of time,” she replied absently, throat constricting at the sight of her flawless smile, the honey dripping from her gaze, and how none of it was directed at her. “But she got together with Hansol—“ God, it even stung to just say his name, “—like, six months ago.”

Jinsoul shook her head. “That’s rough. I’m proud of you for putting up with that, I would’ve snapped.”

Hyunjin chuckled bitterly, “oh, I met my breaking point a long time ago. I don’t really know why I accepted her invitation in the first place.” She averted her gaze when Hansol leaned over to drop a kiss on her lips, hands balling into tight fists. “There was a period of my life where I was hopeful, though.”

Jinsoul perked up. “Oh?”

“Yeah. I had a chance to confess to her in our first year, and I was pretty confident she’d say yes.”

“What happened?”

Her stomach twisted and her eyes burned at the memory, but somehow, she figured she needed an outlet for all these pent up regrets and feelings. Even if her outlet was a slightly tipsy stranger. “He came into her life.”

The blonde clicked her tongue in repulse.

“That little shred of optimism never left me, though,” she admitted, blinking back the tears. She had shed enough. “I can tell she’s not as in love with him as she claims.”

“It’s good that you’re looking at the positive Hyunjin.”

She highly doubted that. Because that tiny dose of positivity made her hopeful, and when it inevitably led to nowhere, the disappointment was more agonizing than it could’ve been.

And yet, she still waited, floated in limbo for her. Their interactions waned to the point where they sometimes only conversed via text for extended periods of time. Because Hyunjin wasn’t sure in her ability to hold it together in front of her. In front of them.

Today, however, she decided to end her hiatus, decided to attend this party in the midst of an autumn shower. Naturally, however, the pain resurfaced everytime she’d see them together. So she gravitated to the corner of the penthouse, overlooking the bleak, grey city streets that seemed to emulate her emotions.

Although, Jinsoul’s company wasn’t horrible, and getting this off her chest made her feel lighter, even just by a little bit.

“Hey, hey, your girl’s coming over.”

Her heart drummed at the sound of ‘your girl’, resulting in her jolting out of her seat when the brunette flounced toward her with her arms outstretched, and grin so impossibly wide and gorgeous it stole the breath from her lungs.

“Hyunnie~” she whined, clasping onto Hyunjin’s hands and pinching her face in a way that brought the colour to Hyunjin’s cheeks. “Why aren’t you dancing with me~?”

She scoffed, but gripped her soft hands like a lifeline. “You know I can’t do ballroom dancing, Heekkie.”

Jinsoul observed them with steady eyes, observed how Hyunjin’s lips instantly curved upwards when the girl held her hands, observed how her cheekbones lit up with a rosy hue, and how her candid, doe eyes glimmered with all the adoration in the world for the girl before her. 

“What? Yes you can! You can do anything and everything! You’re my Hyunjin!”

It hurt so bad to not have that mean the way she wanted it to.

She spotted Hansol just a couple metres behind Heejin, smiling amicably at her. “Kim Hyunjin, don’t be such a party pooper. C’mon, I’ll lend her over to you for the rest of the night,” he winked, “I’m spent.”

She had to use all the willpower in her body to not glare daggers at him. Instead she turned to look at Jinsoul.

‘Go, Hyunjin.’

She mouthed it, yet it was so encouraging.

She let her lifelong love drag her to her feet and skip them across the floor, repositioning their hands so that hers rested on her waist, while the brunette’s looped around her neck. Her heart was hammering in her ears, and was as dry as a drought, and yet...

Heejin’s ethereal smile, the honey dripping from her gaze, it was all directed at her. Kim Hyunjin.

And even if it was only for a while, she wanted to relish this moment.

They swayed to the music, laughing and giggling and never letting go of each other’s hands.

That was how it should have been.

But it wasn’t.

A/N: don’t let me listen to pig. again. ever. god. .