It was early when Heechul limped his way towards the meeting room, dragging his hurting left leg irritably. Last night was unusually cold, a sign of the rapidly approaching winter, a season he dreaded due to how his leg always seems to act up during it. Reaching the appointed room, he walked through the door but immediately stopped short when he saw only his distraught leader as the sole occupant. There were no sign of the others, be it members or managers. Was he too early? The watch on his wrist said he wasn't that early. Puzzled, he proceed to grab a seat next to Leeteuk.

"Hey, where are the rest? Are they running late?" Heechul asked as he plopped down. Stretching his leg, he sighed in relief at the release of pressure on the limb.

Leeteuk didn't answer him though and was instead totally focused on arranging the contents of his bag. Tapping his long lean fingers on the desk, Heechul leaned back to stare at Leeteuk, noticing the bags under his eyes and beads of sweat on his forehead. He continued his observation and all the while Leeteuk kept rearranging the contents of his bag, movements jerky and uncoordinated. Heechul frowned when he realized Leeteuk kept repeating the same thing over and over again as if in trance.

Uh oh.

"Teukkie?" he called while tapping the other on the shoulder.

Finally Leeteuk seemed to realize that he was spoken to and he hummed distractedly, teeth biting his lower lips.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's okay," his voice betrayed his words with how it trembled and when his movements faltered, Heechul saw clearly how Leeteuk's hands shook.

"What are you doing?" Heechul prodded.

"Nothing, I'm doing nothing," Leeteuk's breaths came in short pants as Heechul watched with hawk's eyes. This show of behaviour had sadly became very familiar to the younger one and for a second he wondered what had triggered it.

"Where are the boys?" Heechul tried distracting him.

"I don't know. Out. Left. They left me. Left me here," Teuk's cryptic answer was accompanied by hand wringing and at the same time, his breathing rhythm grew erratic. He accidentally knocked down a bottle of water and flinched, eyes looking wildly all over the floor and Heechul knew he lost.

"Teuk, look at me. Jungsoo? Calm down,"

Leeteuk started to shake his head and Heechul knew he wasn't listening anymore. He gritted his teeth and swiveled Leeteuk's chair towards him. "Jungsoo?" he tried but received no answer as Leeteuk started to hyperventilate. Quickly dropping down, he tried to ignore the bolts of pain as his knees hit the floor. By then, Leeteuk had started to claw on his chest, panting wildly.

"Help, can't breathe Chul, can't -," Teuk was gasping at this point and Heechul quickly helped him lean forward.

"Listen to me. It's okay," Heechul said as he placed his hands on Leeteuk's bony knees. Although he tried to stay calm, he could and would never get used to Leeteuk in this condition.

"Breathe with me, Jungsoo. Inhale, one, two, three, four, five," through the noise in his head and the way Leeteuk shook, Heechul noticed that the other tried to follow his instructions. Leeteuk clamped his fingers around Heechul's wrists and the younger one quickly turned his palms upside to entwine their fingers, anchoring his friend.

"Alright, now exhale, one, two, three, four, five. Good good, you are doing good. Come on, like we practiced. Inhale, one, two, three, four, five," Heechul ordered gently and for almost fifteen minutes he repeated the breathing exercise. Slowly, Leeteuk's breathing returned to a semblance of normalcy and Heechul sit back, relieved. He released one of Teuk's hand to wipe a sweaty brow before patting Teuk's right cheek gently.

"I've got you, Jungsoo," Heechul said and Leeteuk nodded, pressing his heated cheek against Heechul's cold palm. His tired eyes were redrimmed, b with unshed tears as he leaned forwards to rest his head on their joint hands.

"Should you be kneeling on the floor?" Leeteuk's voice was raspy and heavy but tinged with concern. Heechul hmm-ed while he massaged the back of Leeteuk's pale neck, clever fingers untying the knot of muscles.

"I'm okay. You?"

Leeteuk shook his head as a sign of no. "I'm not okay, not yet," he whispered uncertainly but the admission had Heechul slightly at ease. The first part of dealing with a problem is admitting you had one, a lesson they both learnt from counselling throughout the years. Hearing Leeteuk saying it out loud showed how much he trusted Heechul.

"What's wrong?"

Leeteuk turned his head away and didn't answer so Heechul let the silence drag while he released the other. Grunting at the onslaughts of pain, he stood up and plopped back down onto his chair and stared at the latter intently. However, Leeteuk kept his eyes on the floor, unable to meet Heechul's gaze.

"What's wrong, Teukkie?" he tried again, this time squeezing Leeteuk's left knee. Instead of being verbal though, Teuk's clammy left hand grasped the hand on his knee, obviously seeking comfort. Heechul gave him a reassuring squeeze and some time to collect his mind. In due time, he felt Leeteuk squeezed back, conveying his gratefulness with the simple action.

"I don't want to talk about it," Leeteuk whispered after they had been sitting in silence for a couple of minutes. Heechul hummed and instead of prodding, he pulled Leeteuk so close to him the latter almost fell from his chair.

"I've got you, Jungsoo," he repeated, hand mussing Leeteuk's light hair. Silently syncing his breathing rhythm with Teuk to further calm the man, Heechul thought back to the last time he witnessed Leeteuk having an attack. Remembering that bleak SM Town concert several months ago, he tightened his hold.

"I've got you,"

Flashback

Heechul slammed open the door just in time to see Shindong on the floor enveloping Leeteuk in a hug and rocking slightly, lips forming random soothing words in an attempt to soothe the shaking man. Seeing the event unfold in front of him, Heechul could only stare helplessly while Yesung, who had went to fetch him from the toilet, closed the door of their waiting room, shutting the buzzing world out. The room had been emptied out save for the four of them and Heechul was somewhat grateful for the small mercy.