U R

TaengSic

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It had been four years since she was kicked out of the group.

 

In those four years, she was blocked by SM from appearing on any television networks.

 

In these past four years, sones had been divided by the untimely split.

 

In those four years, almost everyone put the blame on her for the decision.

 

But how could she possibly make that kind of decision when she loved her?

 

How could she possibly kick out a member in the aspect of a business decision, when she didn’t have a say on her own hairstyle?

 

SM Banned them from making any public contact with her.

 

Though, she knew some of them still contacted her in secrecy.

 

But she, like everything else, took the blame for her premature departure.

 

And she, would rather have her hate her, so she could shine.

 

Because she loved her more than anything.

 

But she didn’t know that. No one did.

 

She knew that they were already at their peak, and that they were nearing their inevitable downfall.

 

She had spent most of her youth for them, it was only a matter of time that she had to find something for the rest of her days.

 

She skipped out on college and chose a career that didn’t promise a lifetime.

 

They, well most, understood her decisions and supported her.

 

After these four years, the contract regarding her ban on television networks, had been lifted.

 

And to celebrate, she was invited to perform at one of the biggest music shows in Seoul.

 

It would be her first time on stage in front of more than 100 audience attendees that weren’t avid GorJess Spazzers.

 

However, it would be her first time in four years since sharing a stage with her or any artist in fact.

 

For her, it was going to be her redemption.

 

For her, it felt like a second chance.

 

For her, it felt like fate was on her side.

 

This was going to be how she finally shared how she felt for her.

 

She had a plethora of her own songs to choose from.

 

She spent hours upon hours finding the perfect one that conveyed her feelings.

 

When it was finally her time to perform, she stood in the middle of the stage mic in hand and heart pounding like no other.

 

She had one chance to express.

 

She had one chance, and she was not going to mess it up.

 

When the music played, her eyes fell upon where the other idols were seated.

 

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and sang.

 

For a long time, in my heart,
Full of clouds, it rains
For warm sun to shine,
I sincerely hoped.
Raindrops that wet my shoulder,
When I dried, I alone,
Was so afraid that it would remain.

 

Her eyes scanned the crowd.

 

The lights were blinding, but she was not hard to find.

 

Her heart beating hard against her chest.

 

You are like a light, after the rain has passed,
You come up in my heart, like this.

 

 

Their eyes met.

 

Tears were now welling up in their eyes.

 

She hoped that she understood what she was trying to convey.

 

Cause you are, the light that fell on me,
You are, like a beautiful dream,
With seven rays, the whole world,
Is dyed even more beautifully, always.
Yeah U R.

 

She clutched the mic harder.

 

Throughout her singing, they didn’t break their eye- contact.

 

Oh how, she was giving it her all.

 

On top of an empty green hill,
Rainbow becomes a roof.
I lay still underneath
and look at the sky.
This throbbing I felt for the first time,
with peacefulness of the world
More loveable than anyone else

 

 

She pleaded in her heart that she understood.

 

That this song was, and has always been, meant for her.

 

 

When I turn my head, at your smile,
Unknowingly, I reach my hand out, like this.

 

 

These past four years, upon refreshing and refreshing her social media, she yearned for her.

 

Oh, how she wanted to turn back time

 

Oh, how she wished she could tell her to stay

 

Oh, how she wished she could have told SM off.  

 

Oh, how she wished she had fought for her.

 

Cause you are, the light that fell on me,
You are, like a beautiful dream,
With seven rays, the whole world,
Is dyed even more beautifully, always.
Yeah U R.

 

 

She wanted her to know that she sang for her and only her.

 

She wished that tonight conveyed everything.

 

When the rain that wets my windows stops,
Under the Rainbow, you must be waiting.
The stories I couldn’t say,
All of the secrets I couldn’t do,
I want to deliver it today

 

 

This was it.

 

This was her time to tell her that she was her star.

 

You are always beside me,
You are inside of my tender heart,
Even more shining and beautifully,
It fills the night sky,
You’re my star~ Yeah U R
Oh U R U R, Oh U R

 

 

As the song finished, she looked at her searching in those eyes she missed.

 

She couldn’t help but look in those beautiful brown orbs and let out a whisper.

 

Live and in public, she whispered through her mic “Saranghae”

 

She quickly got off stage and wiped away her tears that were now freely falling.

 

Upon reaching her dressing room, she collapsed onto the nearest chair and sobbed.

 

She sobbed all the pent-up emotions out.

 

 She craved and yearned for her.

 

After those four years, she finally got to let out all she kept inside.

 

She was now alone.

 

A soloist.

 

In four years, they lost one special key to their group.

 

In four years, they had gone their separate ways.

 

In the moment she needed her members most, they were no longer by her side.

 

She didn’t hear the door open.

 

But before she could compose herself.

 

Arms wrapped gently wrapped around her and gave her a squeeze.

 

The smell of a familiar scent filled her nose.

 

She was there.

 

She was holding her.

 

She sobbed harder.

 

Gentle fingers combed through her now messy and sweaty hair.

 

And the words that came out of her  mouth made her  heart burst.

 

“I know” she whispered.