Kim Jongdae was starting his 3rd year at Chung-Ang University College of Music, working towards a BA (Bachelor of Arts Degree) in Voice Music. His best friends were Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, two students in the same department whom he bonded with after sharing an Introduction to Vocal Pedagogy class in freshman year.

 

And now, more confident than ever, he was looking forward to his next college adventure. He got lucky this semester and snagged a single dorm room in Liebestraum Hall. Nearest to the music studio and the cafeteria, it clearly was the best dorm in Jongdae’s opinion. Not that he didn’t enjoy living with Kyungsoo last year, but it was pretty evident that his beloved roommate needed space for himself. Jongdae didn’t really hold it against him. Who would want to help drag a drunk Baekhyun into their room after a night of partying?

 

“Jongdae!” Someone from the orientation table waved him over with a brilliant smile, proudly showing off dorm pride with the cartoon image of Liszt printed on his T-shirt. “I was hoping you’d be in my house this year! How was your summer?”

 

“Hey, Suho. It was pretty great,” Jongdae said with an answering grin. “I was an understudy in Metropolitan’s Cosi fan tutte production.”

 

“That’s wonderful,” Suho’s eyes lighted up. “I’m so proud of you. I barely saw you on campus last semester so I figured you were busy doing something amazing. And, looks like I was right.”

 

Jongdae’s ears turned red at the compliment as he took the welcoming packet and shirt from Suho. Wendy, one of the orientation volunteers behind the table, handed him a clipboard to write down his contact information. “Thanks. It was definitely a great experience.”

 

Suho smiled and waited for Jongdae to finish signing in before giving him his room key. “I’m surprised you didn’t tell me you were auditioning though. Xiumin knows someone in orchestra there who could have given you a recommendation.”

 

Jongdae gave an awkward laugh as he handed Suho back the signed forms. “Yeah, I mean it didn’t really cross my mind and we were both kind of busy.” And not to mention the fact that it was still a little uncomfortable to talk to Suho and Xiumin--both of whom he had dated at different times last year--before finding out how perfect they were for each other and putting them together. Curse your romantic heart, Baekhyun told him when he found out what Jongdae did and bought him the largest pint of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that he could afford. Kyungsoo even made an effort to help him rehearse his lines for the audition. It was a pretty rough sophomore year, Jongdae admitted, but after a summer of rehearsals upon rehearsals, he’s come to terms with his single life and was more than ever focused on his singing career. At least, he thought he was.

 

“Congrats on getting the RA position by the way,” Jongdae said, looking at the etched #21 on his key. “We all knew you’d ace the interview.”

 

“Thanks!” Suho replied and eyed the smirk creeping up Jongdae’s face, “but that doesn’t mean any party favors. You might be one of my favorite juniors, don’t tell anyone, but I’ve got to be a good role model for the new students. At least they still have a chance to preserve their innocence.”

 

“Hey!” Jongdae gasped, putting on a playful offended look. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m an angel.”

 

“Yeah, well, tell that to the permanently neon pink bathroom on the 3rd floor of Fur Elise Hall,” Suho gave a fond eye roll. “Key loves it, but he’s probably going to go blind after his RA term is over.”

 

Suddenly, a crowd of first years were pulling into the building, making a loud ruckus at the entrance of the dorm. The peer mentors acquainted themselves with the new students and Wendy motioned for Suho to introduce himself. Suho mouthed something back to her before turning to Jongdae with an apologetic frown. “Well, I should probably go ahead and deal with this. Your room is on the second floor at the end of the hallway. If you need anything, I live on the first floor in the double near the stairs.” Suho glanced at his watch, “Actually, if you go now, you can probably catch Xiumin before he heads to the quad to perform in the welcoming ceremony. I’m sure he’d be happy to catch up with you.”

 

“Sure,” Jongdae replied with an easy smile. “I’ll just put my stuff away in my room first.”

 

“Great! See you around.” Suho replied cheerfully before sauntering over to the group of freshmen.

 

After making his way up the stairs to the second floor, he dropped his luggage at the front of his door and surveyed the room. It had a typical dormitory setup, bed at the left corner under a window, wooden desk next to a small storage cabinet, mini fridge and microwave beside the closet. Not the fanciest, nor the most spacious, but it did give him privacy. And, looking out his window, he gets a great view of the bustling campus quad.

 

The second floor only housed single rooms and were mostly filled with juniors and seniors. He greeted Seulgi and Amber who were the only other people in the hall, unpacking their stuff like Jongdae was probably supposed to do. But, it was still pretty early for moving day, so he decided to make good of his word and headed back downstairs to Suho’s double. After hearing a faint “come in” from behind the door, he entered the resident advisor’s room.

 

“Hey,” Jongdae said in greeting, secretly admiring the way that Xiumin fit into his formal black suit as he straightened up his jacket in the mirror.

 

“Hey yourself. I’m just about to run out the door.” Xiumin said, adjusting his tie with one hand and packing up his violin in another. He slung his violin case over his shoulder and turned to face Jongdae with a teasing smile.

 

“I know,” Jongdae gave a sheepish one in return, moving away from the entrance and sitting on one of the desks. “Suho told me you were here and asked me to stop by and say hello.”

 

“Oh, hello then,” Xiumin replied after a short pause.

 

“Right.” Jongdae shook his head at the awkwardness. Avoiding Xiumin’s eye, he took a glance at around the large room. “Woah, not only do you get a living room, but your own bathroom too? When Suho said a double, I thought he meant the ones with bunk beds. Geez, the other guys on your floor must be jealous. This is incredible.”

 

“Peaks of living with an RA, I guess.” Xiumin replied, leaning against the desk across from Jongdae.

 

“Right.” Jongdae replied lamely, trying not to think about how the guy he went on a couple dates with is now living with the RA who he had dated in his first semester of sophomore year. He was over it. He really was. Suho and him were never in any serious relationship, they acted more like close friends than anything. The same with Xiumin, though they did partake in some heavy makeout sessions and over the clothes stuff. But he knew what he was getting into by not pursuing a real relationship. Suho and Xiumin were looking for something more--they both said so to him once upon a time--but Jongdae just never felt that...spark.

 

But, after seeing how Suho would gently entwine his fingers with Xiumin at random times in the day, how Xiumin would rub his thumb across his knuckles and give him a small peck on the forehead in response, how they would look at each other as if they were the only two people in the world. Jongdae shook his head vigorously. Curse his romantic heart indeed.

 

Xiumin sighed, already hearing Jongdae’s running thoughts. “You want to talk about it? Did Suho make it awkward?” Unlike their RA, Xiumin was not afraid of unsettling silences and oftentimes made an effort to talk to Jongdae about their sort of weird friendship after their equally weird breakup.

 

“No, no, it wasn’t that.” Jongdae backtracked, not wanting to cause issues between the pair. He was already causing problems for himself by his conflicting emotions. “I’m just a bit distracted is all.”

 

“That’s all, huh.” Xiumin didn’t sound convinced. He was just about ready to say something else when they heard a faint tap on the open door.

 

“Xiumin, you ready to go?” A man in an all-white ensemble asked softly from the door. His eyes landed on Jongdae, giving him a curious gaze.

 

“Yeah.” Xiumin responded, putting on his shoes quickly and ruffling Jongdae’s hair as he headed out the door. Looking pointedly at Jongdae, he said, “You can stay here if you’d like, but lock the door when you leave. We’ll talk about this later.”

 

Jongdae, who for all his trouble, noticeably gulped and nodded in acquiesce, Xiumin already moving away from the door. He probably should have talked with his ex instead of avoiding him most of last semester. Looks like he was in for a long, overdue conversation.

 

He was startled out of his thoughts when he realized that the other man hasn’t gone after Xiumin yet. He offered Jongdae a warm smile, “After the welcoming ceremony, we’re performing another piece later today in the auditorium if you’d like to come and watch.”

 

“Oh, thanks. I’ll see if I can make it.” Jongdae replied hesitantly, sharing a shy smile in return.

 

The man’s eyes crinkled into small crescent moons as he gave an exaggerated bow that left Jongdae both confused and a little bit flattered. He’s got enough problems on his plate to be thinking about another boy.

 

. . .

 

         “Where were you when I needed you?” Jongdae practically screamed at his best friend, storming into Kyungsoo’s room like a tornado. Kyungsoo sat cross legged on his bed with an open book in his hands, nonplussed by the display.

 

         “I was here.” Kyungsoo said bluntly. “Like I have been the whole day.”

 

Jongdae launched himself dramatically onto his friend’s bed, annoying Kyungsoo enough that he moved himself over to a spare chair. Kyungsoo had pretty much settled into his room already, having been on campus as a summer associate at Capital Records, a local studio partnered with their university. He did a few vocal demos for their recording artists and taught a few classes in vibrato and breathe control. Like Jongdae, he was getting a BA in Vocal Music.

 

Kyungsoo tossed his Music Theory book on his desk and crossed his arms in resignation, “What did you do?”

 

“I talked with Suho…” Jongdae started.

 

“And?”

 

“And then I talked with Xiumin. They’re living together this year. It was so awkward. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. At least Suho pretends that everything is fine and dandy, but Xiumin wants to talk about it.” Jongdae stressed out, stuffing his face into one of the scattered pillows.

 

“My condolences,” Kyungsoo picked up his book again to continue reading.

 

Jongdae lifted his head to glare at his friend. “That’s all you have to say?”

 

“If you wanted sympathy, you should have gone to Baekhyun.”

 

Jongdae let out a frustrated grunt and immersed himself further into the plush pillow. It was true though. Baekhyun was more in tune with Jongdae’s emotions and would console him with parties and ice cream. Kyungsoo tended to be a bit more apathetic and was very straightforward about his opinions. He’d rejected more confessions than you’d think for a guy who was so prickly. Kyungsoo lightly smacked the book on Jongdae’s head to get his attention.

 

“Look,” Kyungsoo started, deciding to be more careful with his words this time. “You said you were over it, so get over it. You’re the one who put yourself in that position in the first place.”

 

“...I know.” Jongdae muttered.

 

“We told you that if you meddled in their relationship and played matchmaker, you might get hurt. You did it anyways.”

 

“...I know.”

 

“You promised Baekhyun and me that you’d be doing yourself a favor by bringing Suho and Xiumin together because it would mean that you were turning over a new leaf by giving them the potential relationship that you weren’t ready for.”

 

Jongdae winced. “...I know.”

 

Kyungsoo slouched back in his chair. “Then, what are you whining about?”

 

“It’s just...don’t you ever envy it? Their relationship?” he confessed, “It’s like they’re the only two people in the world. Don’t hate me, but it kind of makes me want to have something like that too.”

 

His friend raised an eyebrow and pulled out his cell phone from his jacket pocket, glancing through his messages. “And I thought, you know, after summarizing the millions of texts you sent me over break that you were going to focus on your music career. Are you changing your mind?”

 

“No... I don’t think so.”

 

“I’m going to be very mean to you right now.” Kyungsoo said, his elbows resting on his thighs as he faced Jongdae. Jongdae nodded for him to continue. “Where is your head right now? The Jongdae that I befriended back in freshman year was excited about becoming a singer and working for opera companies around the country. We got into this school because of our talents, so why don’t you focus on that? Relationships come and go, but our time here is almost over. It’s our junior year and we’re supposed to be making some of the most crucial decisions in our adult lives. So, what is this sniveling, lovesick child doing in my room?”

 

Jongdae’s eyes widened. Something cleared in his head as he remembered exactly why he was in Chung-Ang University in the first place. Nothing was more important than singing for him. He wasn’t in here to find a relationship, he was here to follow his dreams. Suho used to tell him that he liked him not because of his looks or his great personality (that came later), but because of his passion for singing, the way he never gave up after every audition, the way he immersed himself in each note he belted.

 

Damn. Kyungsoo was ruthless when it counted. “You’re right.”

 

He sat up and straightened out his clothes, giving his friend an uneasy grin as he planted his feet on the ground. He repeated, “You’re absolutely right.”

 

“Then promise me that you will not seek out another relationship for the rest of this year or so help me, if I have to have another one of these conversations with you, we will no longer be friends.”

 

Jongdae laughed, “I promise.”

 

“Good.” Kyungsoo’s phone pinged as he got a new message. He stuffed his phone back in his pocket and stood up. “Now let’s say we meet Luhan over at the auditorium before he explodes.”