Taeyeon's POV

Summer after high school when we first met

We'd make out in your mustang to Radiohead

And on my 18th birthday we got matching tattoos

2007 was the year where it all started. The year I started my journey towards my dreams and gained 8 sisters. It was also the year I first fell in love.

The dance practice for Into The New World ended for the day, leaving me and Jessica alone in the practice room. Our members already went ahead to rest.

I lied down on the floor and stared at the ceiling, "Jess?" I said, breaking the silence between us. Jessica didn't reply so I continued, "What if you like your friend? What would you do?" I asked.

Jessica turned to me and smiled, "She's the ice princess but her smiles make me melt," I thought. "Ya! Why are you looking at me like that?" I said, hitting her arm playfully. Jessica smirked, "Is little Taengoo here crushing on someone?"

Next thing I knew she was tickling me before I could even answer. I managed to stop her after 5 minutes with her ending up on top of me. And in that moment, I could hear our heartbeats in sync with one another. She leaned in closer until our lips crashed. We only pulled away to catch our breath. Jessica took my hand, "That's what I would do," She said while smiling.

That very summer we decided to get small tattoos with our initials. I got 'J' and she got 'T', both on our ribs.

Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof

Talk about our future like we had a clue

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

By the time we were of legal age, we would secretly go to the Han river with bottles of soju and beer, and just talk there until dawn

"Do you think we'd still be like this in the future?" I asked. Jessica gazed at the stars before answering, "Things change but I'm certain we'd still be like this." I snuggled closer to her, our bodies warming up to fight the harsh winter breeze.

Our relationship, just like other relationships, didn't go smoothly. There were some bumps along the road but we usually fixed it until such time we became too busy with other schedules and didn't have enough time for each other. I spent more time with Tiffany, while Jessica and I spent less time and only had a few interactions despite being in the same group.

  In another life

I would be your girl

We'd keep all our promises

Be us against the world

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don't have to say

You were the one that got away

The one that got away

2013

Our fights got too frequent and that's when I decided to end things. Jessica couldn't accept it at first so I had to talk about how it wasn't healthy anymore and how it was affecting our group. She had no choice but to accept my decision.

"Tae, we can still fix this..." Jessica said, almost pleading. I looked at her and sighed, "I-It's getting too unhealthy Sica. Besides, it's starting to affect our group too. Our manager have scolded me a lot of times for losing focus.I haven't been sleeping well at night because my mind keeps running. It's not good for me or you anymore."

Jessica started crying and hugged me, "If it'll make you happy and if you think it's for the best then I have no choice but to let you go,"

Sometimes I would catch her looking at me while I'm not looking and I would see pictures of it happening. Months after we broke up, she started dating Tyler Kwon, a businessman. I thought I already moved on from her but upon hearing that news I broke down and cried. "How I wish she was still mine," I thought before falling asleep.

2014

No one expected 2014 to be the last year Jessica was gonna be with us.

Jessica gathered us in the living room to talk to us about something.

"I'm planning on taking a hiatus from the group to focus on starting my own clothing line," Jessica said. At first we were sad about her decision but decided to cheer her on anyway. She already fulfilled one of her dreams which involved us Girls' Generation. So we let her chase another dream. We prepared our last concert with her to be performed in the Tokyo Dome later that year.

However, when she told the agency about her plan, they weren't too happy with it and in turn, kicked her out.

We ended up performing as 8 in Tokyo Dome. Since then, we never performed our debut song with dance anymore.

She became the first SNSD trainee and the first one to leave.

"How I wish she stayed," I thought before falling asleep.

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash

Never one without the other, we made a pact

Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on

We were inseparable before 2012/2013

but everything fell after that

Jessica and I were walking at the park when she came up with a pact.

"Taeng, if ever we break up and date other people but we're still single by 40, let's marry each other," Jessica laughed. I looked at her like she's crazy and said, "Did you forget we're in Korea? We can't get married," I hit her arm playfully. "Did you forget I'm an American citizen?" She said, corssing her arms.

I put my hands up in the air, "Okay that makes sense. It's a deal then," I kissed her and laughed.

I find myself listening to the songs we recorded together when she was still in the group whenever I miss her. My songs are about her which makes it easy for me to release my emotions through them. I also listen to the songs she released as a a soloist, but the song I listen to the most is her cover of Almost. I can't help but think about our memories together whenever I listen to those songs.

Someones said you had your tattoo removed

Saw you downtown singing the blues

It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse

Krystal, Jessica's sister whom I kept in contact with, told me Jessica had her tattoo removed. "Has she finally gotten over me?" I thought.

My members and I were having a fanmeeting when I got a word that Jessica was holding her fanmeeting in the same building as us. I didn't think much of it until we bumped into each other in the hallway after the fanmeet.

"Sorry" Jessica muttered while avoiding my gaze "I-It's okay," I said before rushing to exit the building.

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no

Can't replace you with a million rings, no

I should've told you what you meant to me

'Cause now I pay the price

I don't think I'll meet someone who will love me as much as she did and I don't think I can love someone the same way I loved Jessica. I wish treated her better. I wish I put in more effort. I wish I told her what she really meant to me. I wish I made her feel more loved. I wish I can turn back the time to fix everything. I wish I never hurt her.

Regrets are running through my mind but there's nothing I can do.

In another life

I would make you stay

So I don't have to say

You were the one that got away

The one that got away

To jessica.syj

I hope Tyler is always making you smile and makes effort for you. I'm sorry for breaking things off.

I regretted it. I cried every night wishing you were still mine. I'm sorry, Jessica.

All the promises that we made, I hope he is the one who will fulfill it.

I hope he finds time for you and loves you no matter what. I hope he's thinking

"This girl is worth it. I will never hurt her."

Be the one for you who I couldn't be. Everyday I wonder how are you doing, how's life after all that drama? did you moved on?

I guess so, you already have someone. Someone who is much better than me.

Anyways,

I wish you the best Sooyeon. Just know that I will always love you even in another life. You'll always be my ice princess, my Jessica, my Sooyeon. I'm sorry for everything that happened in the past. The stars aligned for us but eventually separated. I'm sorry for letting you get away.

But I'm glad that you have moved on.

Thank you, for everything.

From taeyeon_ss