"Can I come in?"

Jeno looked at renjun like a kicked puppy. Even if it's dark renjun can see the scars on the younger's face. He just steps back and let jeno to get inside. Renjun already knows what happened so he just brings some first aid supplies and cleans the younger's scars.

They didn't talk for awhile. Both of them have been looking at the off screen of TV. It becomes a routine for both of them. Jeno comes to renjun's house with scars on his face,renjun helps him,let him stay at his home. Peoples jeno's fight with usually changes but the reason always stays same;Na Jaemin.

"What was the reason this time?"

It was close to whisper and renjun doesn't know if jeno could hear or not.

Silence...

Renjun sighs and gets up on the couch,goes to upstairs,brings a blanket and pillow and a pair of pyjama for jeno,put them on the bergere. He looks at jeno to expecting say something at least 'good night' but the younger didn't.

Renjun isn't able to sleep,he has been rolling on his bed,looking at the ceiling,takes the rhythm of the tick tock sound which comes from a clock. He decides to go downstairs maybe he can stay outside,at his little garden. When renjun goes to downstairs he checks jeno,peacefully sleeping,looking ethereal,his soft breathes come melodic...

Renjun finds himself ruffling jeno's soft hair,his tiny hand totally gets lost in the younger's raven hair. Renjun silently gets up and goes out,sitting on a chair,breathing the fresh air. It's so cold outside but refreshing also. Renjun loves these kind of weathers always so he smiles by himself,doesn't aware of jeno's watching him inside.

"Renjun you look like a ghost"

Donghyuck hits his friend's arm teasefully but doesn't get the reaction he wants.

"Jeno was with you last night,wasn't he?"

Renjun just nods while rubbing his eyes. Donghyuck puts his arm around his tiny friend,gives a friendly pats on his shoulder.
Renjun and donghyuck don't need words,they know each other so well and this is the biggest thing for renjun to being grateful in his life.

Jeno hates to see that jaemin is laughing at others cheerfully,softly touching their arms. He just wants to go back their happy times with him. Just both of them but he knows that jaemin isn't inlove with him anymore,he totally ignores jeno's existence meanwhile jeno has been fighting with guys who talks back jaemin but most importantly flirts with him. He doesn't let jaemin to slip his hands easily,he will fight for him.

"Hyung you know what people say like 'while we are trying to find happiness we always miss the biggest chance in front of us''

Jisung said that while directly looking at renjun at the cafeteria but he didn't expected jeno to understand him. He never understands.

"Easily you're saying I should move on"

Jeno replies without looking at jisung,chewing the last bite. Jisung rolls his eyes and stays silent. He knows renjun's feelings for jeno actually everyone knows except from jeno.

When renjun goes out of the school it's already dark and snowflakes are falling down slowly. He refuses donghyuck's offer to go to his house and hang out,now he thinks he decided right thing. He really loves walking alone while it's snowing or raining. To gets enjoy more renjun makes slower his steps.

Renjun gets inside the subway,the crowd make inside warm and renjun barely finds a seat for himself. His eyelids are getting heavy,he looks up and relieved that there are still 3 stops for him to go to his house so he closes his eyes.

Renjun opens his eyes when he smells familiar scent next to him. He slowly raises up his head and sees jeno,faces are so close.

"There is still one stop,you can keep resting here"

Jeno points his shoulder to renjun,showing his beautiful eye smile to him. Renjun kindly refuses,the subway is getting more and more crowded and the atmosphere is whelming him.

They walk side by side without talking. Both of them want to start a conversation but they couldn't. When they arrive renjun's home jeno waves renjun and the older watches him behind.

"Jeno!"

He looks back but doesn't move. Under snowflakes he looks so beautiful,unreal...

"Did you eat something?"

Jeno smiles,he knows renjun barely ask questions directly and he knows renjun asks him to come inside. His pinky cheeks easily can be seen.

Renjun's house is so warm,cute,makes people comfortable easily and jeno is familiar to these feelings. They prepare dinner actually renjun does all the work since jeno breaks 2 porcelain plates and clumsily cutting vegetables. The younger watches renjun while preparing everything

"Let me set the table!"

Jeno whines cutely

"To let you to break somethings or let you to hurt yourself? N O"

Renjun stressed the last part,gaved jeno a death gaze. Jeno shows his adorable eye smile,even trying to look scary renjun looks so cute...

"Do you think jaemin and I will be together again?"

"I don't know"

"He totally ignores me"

"He doesn't ignore you"

"He does!"

Renjun chooses to stay silent. He doesn't want to comment on their relationship. He doesn't want to give jeno fake hopes as saying jaemin is still inlove with him nor he doesn't want to hurt jeno as saying him harsh truths. It's a dilemma for him and he doesn't know how to get rid of it.

"Junnie I think you don't understand me since you never fall inlove"

"Probably"

"No I'm serious! I've never seen you with someone"

"Cause I'm not interested in anyone"

Renjun is getting blushing. The heat in his body is getting increasing. 'Just say him that you love him coward'

"You're lying!"

Jeno claps his hands together and chuckles!

"Tell me who is it? Tell me tell me tell me junnie!"

"You want me to kick you out?"

"You're not denying!"

Jeno has gone to his house. All night he insisted to get a name from renjun but renjun chose to stay silent. As always...

In the biology class renjun came across with jaemin who is talking with a cute tall guy. Jaemin said something the guy and came closer to renjun,pats his shoulder warmly.

"Injun ah! It has been long time"

He shows his warm smile to renjun,he totally never has changed. He is still warm,easy going,lovable na jaemin!

Renjun finds himself talking to jaemin at the cafeteria. Jaemin gives a cup of coffee to renjun,smiles at him. They have talked a lot like they used to do before

"You really don't want to go back to jeno?"

"No"

"Why? Jeno is still trying to get you back!"

"Renjun you know me,I tried really hard to love him as he did but I couldn't."

"But-"

"You deserve him more than me"

"WAIT"

"Renjun you're so obvious just jeno is stupid to see it"

Jaemin chuckles and squeezes renjun's tiny hand warmly,showing him that he is supporting him. Meanwhile renjun feels so guilty to hate jaemin just because jeno is still inlove with him. He is so ashamed... Jaemin has been knowing everything and he isn't mad actually he supports renjun.

It has been two weeks,renjun lazily watching his tv,he is about to sleep but soft knocking sounds make him awake totally. It's almost midnight and there's only one person who comes at his house at this hour. Renjun unlocks the door and opens for a certain person. This time there aren't scars on jeno's face but he looks upset and that's enough for renjun to have a heartache.

"Are you sure you didn't get hurt?"

Renjun asks still in shock! Jeno always comes his house when he has injures but this time he just came to talk. He knows renjun doesn't talk much but he is a good listener and jeno always feels safe around him.

"Jaemin keeps ignoring me! Today I wanted to approach him but he just walked away beside me as I'm a ghost for him"

"Maybe you should move on"

"Renju-"

"Want me to be honest with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're so dumb that still believing that jaemin will come back to you but he is already moved on,he never loved you as much as you did but everytime you're mentioning that he is inlove with you desperately. You created yourself a dream world and refusing to go out of there. So stop living with lies"

Renjun's voice is calm but cold enough. Jeno doesn't know what should he do after these words of renjun. It's the first time for seeing him being distant,being extremely cold.

"Renjun I-"

"You are only coming here when you're in trouble always talking about jaemin! You're so selfish that only think about yourself. If you look around a little you could see the truth like I'm always standing beside you,always here for you..."

Renjun's eyes are getting teary. He should get rid of the burden on his shoulders he has been carrying for years.

"Everyone knows just you're so stupid to see it"

He adds,avoiding eye contact with jeno. He waits jeno to say something but he doesn't. Renjun just sighs,holds back his tears and goes upstairs,leaves jeno at the sofa alone.

It means 'get lost' so jeno does,silently closes the door behind him and walks in the street,doesn't know where should he go. The sound of crashing snow under his feet makes him relaxed. He checks his phone and sees many messages from jisung,he turns off his phone.


"Hyung,you're so stupid"

"You knew it too?"

Jisung face-palmed,showing him that he knows.

"Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"I GAVE YOU MANY HINTS BUT YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH JAEMIN HYUNG"

Jisung raises his voice,he still can't believe how dumb jeno is. Meanwhile every hints are hitting jeno as a truck in his mind. He thinks how hard it is for renjun that while he is mentioning about jaemin all the time,didn't know renjun has a crush on him. He is really obsessed with jaemin.

Renjun is watching mark and donghyuck being playful to each other. At least some of us are happy,he thoughts. The smell of hot chocolate brings him back to reality,jeno is giving the hot chocolate to him.

"If you say 'I don't like hot chocolate' it's a huge lie and I really know well that you love"

Renjun slowly push the cup back against the jeno on the table,takes his stuffs and goes out at the cafeteria,leaving jeno behind him.
It looks so fake for renjun. Jeno is acting as he has been caring for renjun all the time but after renjun confessed-not totally- jeno has been around him,trying to approach him. What's the matter then?

"Oh sorr-"

"Calm down injunnie!"

Jaemin holds renjun on his arm and helps him to gain his balance.


"Finally you confessed to him? Junnie congrats!"

"No,maybe... But things are different"

"I already know. A week before jeno came and talked to me about you. And I said him that even me knows that you love him and I'd be happy to see you together"

"Tell me it's a joke!"

"No I'm serious! Somehow jeno didn't look bothered or tried to ask me to be with him again"

"But what's the matter? He noticed me after I confess and now he is trying to be around me."

"Renjun you know jeno that he only focus one thing that's why he can't notice other things. In my opinion he feels somethings for you but can't realise. When you confessed him he realised that's why he is all around you"

"I-I really don't know"


Jeno waits renjun to come subway till it gets dark when he sees him he gets after him. It's a bad place for them to talk but at least renjun won't have an excuse to escape here. Luckily the subway is half empty. He stands next to renjun,looks at him to notice him. When renjun looks up his eyes widen in shock. Renjun tries to move on a empty seat at the corner but an old woman is faster than him. He cursed the woman on his mind.

"Stop it jeno it's so fake"

He whispers without looking at jeno.

"Renjun you just said what's on your mind and left me. You never listen me"

Jeno leans on renjun,his whisper gives a shiver to renjun.

"I have been listening you and your jaemin obsessions for a year,don't you think it's enough?"

"But you never listen what I think about you"

"Do you think about others?"

"Not others,renjun please don't demotivate my words!"

They both get out of the subway and start to walk while debating at the same time. Walking fast and cold wind makes their faces red and the view of jeno explaining himself angrily looks adorable for people to put a smile on their faces.

Renjun closes the door jeno's face,doesn't wanna hear anything from him but jeno insists so he sits the stairs. Snowflakes are falling down fastly enough to turn jeno a snowman outside. Renjun peeks jeno on his window,grabs a blanket and goes out,put it on jeno's shoulder. The younger one is shivering but manages to smile

"Coffee or hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate."

They both get inside. It's warm as always but jeno never stops shivering,his cheeks are red and melted snows are dripping down from his hair.

"You should take a shower and you have clothes here you know where they are"

Jeno just nods and goes upstairs. Everything is familiar for him. The warm atmosphere,this house,the scent of the house like it's own house.

When jeno goes to downstairs he finds renjun is curled on the couch,his blanket almost fall down on him. He is softly breathing that makes jeno feel warm inside. He just lays next behind renjun,puts his head on the older's shoulder and cover themselves,closes his eyes. Renjun is his home where he feels happy and safe.