You stared sadly out of your window in the room, letting your tears fell freely from your sad eyes. Your heart was broken, torn apart into tiny pieces. You felt like you have nothing in this life anymore, you felt so alone. Taekwoon was getting married…but not to you. Hugging your knees to your chest, closing your eyes, you remembering that one and only reason you’re very upset right now.

"What are you so happy about?" You asked Taekwoon with teasing tone earlier that week. You poked him on his waist playfully. "You look like a cat that just swallowed the canary." Taekwoon wasn’t a type to smile all day, but he just did it. So you asked him in curiosity.

Taekwoon laughed softly. "I am happy. I’m getting married."

The bottom of your world fell out. You stared at Taekwoon in shock. "What?"

"Hey, don’t look at me like I just did a severe crime like robbing a bank." Taekwoon said, adding a soft chuckle after he finished. "I’m getting married." He repeated again for you.

"To w–who?" You fought back tears that threatening to fall down and you didn’t even realized you’re stuttering.

And then he said the lucky person’s name... Shin Bora.

You had tried your best to maintain a neutral face at that news. You were Bora’s rival, ever since junior high school. You were always competing against her in everything… Academics, popularity, beauty...literally everything! You had managed to keep the upper hand through most of these times.

But this… Her… Marrying Taekwoon, your childhood friend and one and only love… Bora had beaten you to your greatest dream.

You did love Taekwoon, despite your constant denials. You loved that tall and soft man more than anything, but you’re just too embarrassed to admit it in front of anyone. You had grown up together since child, always at each other’s side. Deep down you had known that if you were going to marry anyone it would be your childhood friend, your protector, and your love, Jung Taekwoon.

But now, it looked it would never happen to you anymore. Taekwoon was going to marry Bora, not you. You cried until you could cry no more, and lay on your bed in despair.

You really wanted to marry Taekwoon. You really wanted to spend your life together with Taekwoon…for eternity.

You opened your eyes and watching the rain started to pouring down outside. It was like the sky was crying for you, right now. Who would you marry now that Taekwoon was marrying someone else?

You stared at the phone on your dresser and wondered if you should call Taekwoon. You wanted to talk to him, to tell him how you feel… You wanted to beg him not to marry Bora, but to marry you instead. You wanted to tell him that you and him together, could make a happier married life.

You picked up the phone and dialed Taekwoon’s number with shaking hands. You held your breath and waited to hear his voice.

"Hello, this is Jung Taekwoon." Taekwoon’s voice said on the other line.

"Taekwoonnie, don’t marry Bora, marry me!" You blurted. You blushed and stuttered into the phone when you realized the one who was talking is not actually Taekwoon.

"–and I’m unavailable right now. Leave your message after the beep."

Beep.

It was his voicemail, instead…

You breathed softly, staring at the floor sadly for a few moments before speaking. "Taekwoon, I… I… I lo-"

Beep.

The recording ended because you pressed the end button and you gently set the phone down. You curled up into a ball on your bed and cried again for nth times that day. You suddenly lost your courage to confess for the second time to the voicemail.

Taekwoon…

I don’t want you to get married to her…

You smoothed down your dress. You were at the wedding rehearsal, and it was a dress rehearsal. Everyone but the bride and groom would be dressed up. You were a bridesmaid but not the Maid of Honor. That honor had gone to Taekwoon’s sister, Jung Mimi. You stared at your reflection, trying to hide your true feelings.

You admit that you looked so beautiful in this dress. So are the other two bridesmaids, Sejeong and Mina. Lovely, modestly cut dresses had been fitted for each girl. While Hakyeon, Hongbin and Wonshik would be the groomsmen. But as you gently trailed the seams of your dress, you knew you’d rather be the bride.

Everyone was surprised by Taekwoon’s decision to marry not you, but Bora. They had all thought that Taekwoon and you would ended up together and be married. But they were all wrong. They were all surprised by Taekwoon’s decision.

And they were concerned about you as well. They could sense your depression beneath the fake happy smile you kept putting on for the rest of the rehearsal. They could feel your sadness. But they could do nothing about it.

It was Taekwoon’s decision to marry Bora, not you.

Taekwoon was happy. He was happy, Bora was happy, but he could sense something different about you. You weren’t happy, though you tried to hide it with the best you could do.

Taekwoon then thought about your constant denials about the two of you. Sure, he’d said them as well, but he didn’t say them so directly, so quickly like you did. He at least once said to his friends, that you meant something to him. He was actually in love with you too. But he never told you about because of your constant denial. You always denied there was anything between them.

And he had come to believe it.

So now… He just loved you like his own sister.

You watched as Taekwoon smiled, reciting his vows perfectly. He vowed to protect Bora. He vowed to love Bora. He vowed to be faithful to Bora. He vowed everything that you have always wanted from him, to another girl.

You held back your tears, bravely getting through that day. But at home you collapsed into your bed and cried.

You stared at the phone, your mind racing with a thousand thoughts. Should you call him? But even if you did, what would you say? Did you even have enough courage to call him and tell him to marry you like what you did before to his voicemail?

You sighed and turned away from the phone.

Just… Forget about it and let it go…

You hugged a pillow close to you. So this is what it was like to lose someone you love yet have them still alive but not yours anymore…

A whole week before the marriage, and for those whole nights you couldn’t sleep at all. All you could think about was Taekwoon, the man who is going to be a husband of another woman but you in a week.

You cried because you knew there would be no happily forever after marriage with your love interest anymore. Yes, you would move on. Yes, you would love someone else someday… But you knew those wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

Oh, how you always tried to gather your courage to say something to Taekwoon, to tell him your feelings before it’s really too late. But you couldn’t do it. Every time you saw him, he’d be smiling, to Bora. When you saw his smiling face, his arms wrapping lovingly, protecting around Bora, you knew you had no right to destroy that.

You tried to breathe steadily as the pianist played the wedding theme, a sign that the bride has arrived. Bora was walking down the aisle and Taekwoon turned to look at her. You could see him breathed ‘wow’, amazed at his soon to be wife. You saw him smiling so happily, and you cried.

Fortunately Mina had begun to cry too, as she was happy for them, so you wouldn’t be questioned why did you suddenly cry. Sejeong remained calm, but she knew very well why you cried. So did a lot of the other guests who knew about your feelings for Taekwoon. They knew all of this upset you, very much.

You tried to muffle your sobs and stop your tears but you couldn’t. Bora recited her vows. Taekwoon recited his. They did well just like the rehearsal. And just as he leaned in to kiss Bora, to kiss the bride, you finally snapped out of it and screamed out so loud and echoed through the whole hall.

"NO!"

Everyone stared at you in shock. You gasped, and you looked around to see all eyes were on you right now, including Taekwoon. You bit your lips and ran away. Deep inside, you were also hoping Taekwoon would run after you, to tell you he actually still loved you, and only you. But no, he didn’t. It was Sejeong who quickly ran after you to calm you down, instead.

Taekwoon was concerned about you, yes. But no, he did not run after you like what you hoping for. He just stayed still in his spot and still holding Bora’s hands, hoping Sejeong would be able to help you. Taekwoon stayed with his new bride, Bora. He exchanged worried looks to Bora for a while before they decided to continue.

You escaped to the backyard of the church, resting on the bench under a tree. You cried there, weeping into your hands. Sejeong sat next to you, rubbed your shoulders and tried to comfort you. But you would never be comforted that easily, and Sejeong knew that as well.

You wouldn’t be happy for a very…very…very long time.

And you blamed no one but yourself for not being able to honest to your own feeling.