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“Fair enough.”, I said under my breath as the entire congregation began to collapse itself unto my modest office. It was as if the piles of knick-knacks left behind by my ancestor was not claustrophobia-inducing enough; now I had nine other individuals with me in a cramped room. Then again, I could comprehend the motives of going together as a group as opposed to being interviewed by me on a one-on-one basis – if you were invited by a complete stranger who had just moved in your house to enter his office for an interview … would you really comply? That’s what I thought. All nine of them slowly filed into a neat line, forming a human wall between me and the office door. To quote one of my favourite films of all time; They’re not stuck in there with me, I’m stuck in there with them. Despite my career heavily consisting of working with people, I wasn’t good with talking in groups and their unintentional entrance as a whole had forced me to play by the rules set by my subordinates.

I croaked slightly as I shuffled some papers taken from the dossier, “S-so, I am your new manager. I believed that Mr. Jin-young has informed you of my arrival so my arrival shouldn’t come too much of a shock to all of you. If it is, then I guess … ta-da.” I even completed the revelation with a bit of pizzazz as I shook my hands in a somewhat gleeful fashion.

Dead. Silence.

Their faces were just as still as my heart, which I swore paused for a while due to the sheer embarrassment I was exposed to at a single sitting. Finally, one of the good ones (I called three of them the good ones due to their rather warm reception at the start) began to speak up, “I’m sorry but you have not introduced yourself to us.”

“Right, right.”, I snapped my fingers at my faux pas. “Thank you for remind me … uhh.. Ji..Na..”. My lips began to stall for time as my mind quickly shuffled through all the names that I tried to remember on my way to the new job. “Jeongyeon?”, I squeaked out. The quietude that followed after I had a go at winging her name and her slightly disappointed demeanour had given me the buzzer that I deserved but not wanted. Another raised her hand and claimed that she was indeed Jeongyeon and Jihyo remained crestfallen for another minute or so.

“Joshua. My name’s Joshua.”, I boldly introduced myself to the group. What came next were a whole lot of commotion majorly comprised of enunciations of my name that were somewhat there but not really. Made me wonder at the time why there was a Jackson and an Eric in the booming Korean pop industry but not one single male singer had Joshua for a stage name; it was because it was relatively hard to pronounce. Couldn’t blame them though since a lot of times, my name has been garbled and reduced to a mishmash of lips slapping each other especially when the hoteliers were mad busy back in the days.

“Jos-hwa”, the blue-haired one uttered.

“Joossiwa!”, one of them exclaimed, as if she was thoroughly pleased that she had gotten it correct.

It was at that point that I had simplified it for them and asked all of them to just refer to me as Manager. It was short, crisp and I had been long used to being called by my appointment rather than by my own name so it felt close to home when they have begun to use Manager. I have to be honest though, when they started calling me, I felt some sense of elation. It could have been because their voices were that of sirens of folklore fame – the ones were they woo you with their enchanting voice before drowning you and eating your flesh but I was just happy to be there being called Manager.

With the formalities out of the way, I proceeded to cold hard business as I wanted to get a scope as to what I must do as a manager and what needed some changes. Awkward conversations and wholesome icebreakers aside, the job was still a chance to elevate my status from unknown to budding in the eyes of the corporate bigheads so I had to put aside the fun for a while. Clasping my fingers, I asked them in a serious tone, “So, what has Mr. Bogum (their previous manager) done as a manager for … TWICE?”. My image of that question being a hard-hitter was severely crushed by the speed of their responses.

“He handles our schedules and bookings.”

“If shows want us to appear there, then he bids for better conditions and terms.”

“He takes care of our taxes.”

At first, it seemed to align with what I was told. Basically, administration was my key responsibility and it would not have shocked me that they had someone to take on the bureaucratic drivels of being a KPOP idol. Then, the replies took a sharp turn into the uncanny as they began to still describe a manager … just not one of the showbiz variant.

“He also changes the bedsheets and blankets every Tuesday.”

Blankets? Bedsheets?

“Laundry are usually settled on Wednesdays but if there’s too much of them especially after MuBank then he sends them to the cleaners on Thursdays.

Laundry?

“Occasional, Bogum-ssi prepares a mean hotpot for all of us once a month!”, one of them even joyfully pronounced which could be a reference to the coming end of the month in five days.

Cooking?

“I th-thought he manages you guys.”, I questioned his past activity. That has got to be a mistake on Bogum’s part. I was promised that I merely settled the admin stuff and maybe … some welfare of the entire group. I did not anticipate devolving to a cleaner for a bunch of girls in a small dorm whilst being bogged down with the big fat lips of producers and directors on both ears.

Tzuyu, I thought, nodded her head vigorously then replied. “Yes, he does manage us. It was part of his job, he said.”. You could have called me a piece of log because I was stumped at that moment. I barely dismissed the ego in me and refrained myself from cursing Bogum out for his overzealousness as a manager in front of them. It wasn’t as if they couldn’t handle their own things; they’re adults and doing laundry, cooking or even making the beds were just the tip of the adulting iceberg. Now that he has went and done all of the aforementioned tasks for them and some more, I had an obligation to continue on his legacy as servant to the nine. For a short while, that is.

“Arraseo. Interview dismissed.”, I wearily proclaimed.