[Siwon's POV]

Here he is sleeping soundly in my arms.
Here I am staring at him.
Contemplating.
Thinking.
Thinking about what to say when he opens his beautiful eyes.
Contemplating about what his stares would tell me when I find the words.
We have been together for a while.
I admit, I fell for him first.
The first time when he shouted "Ya!" at me.
I have declared many times that I like him.
But not even once did he confirm his feelings for me.

We have been in this place a couple of times.
Now, here I am almost at the end of my rope trying my best to hold on.
But my grip wants to let loose. 
I am tired hanging. 
I am too exhausted to keep holding on.
We are perfect when we are together.

But I...
I need some assurance.
I need to confirm if we feel the same way.
No, it's a must for me to validate his feelings.
So yesterday, before we ended up in this bed...

"WHY SIWON? IS NOT HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU ENOUGH? DO YOU NEED TO HEAR IT FROM MY MOUTH?!"

He was shouting at the top of his lungs when I asked the last time. Him being irrational once again.

"I CANNOT ING UNDERSTAND WHY AND HOW DIFFICULT IT IS TO SAY YOU LIKE ME... TO SAY YOU LOVE ME!"

I too, frustrated and tired, was fighting back.

"If by tomorrow you still do not tell me how you really feel, I'm sorry Kyuhyun but I will leave you. I have to leave before this dries me out."

Yes, I gave him an ultimatum.
But he did not react. Did not say okay. Did not say no.
He did not say anything.

I heaved a sigh, staring at him one last time, and then pressed my lips on his forehead.
A tear fell and I wiped it clean with the back of my thumb.

As I was about to rummage through my clothes and luggage, I heard his voice.

"Won...''

I stopped what I was doing for a second and allowed my breath to get back to its steady pace.

"I'm leaving."

My voice was cold but I was dying inside.

"We had a good run, Kyuhyun. Thank you."

Kyuhyun. Cho Kyuhyun.
The man I love.
He is the only man I love.
But here I am, saying goodbye.
There's only one thing that could keep me from setting my foot out that door.
He knows what it is.
Only he could do it.

He got up and stared at me then let his head down.
I was looking at him from the mirror.
I was praying so hard he would say something.
Before I throw everything away.

I... I couldn't get to him.
No matter how I tried.
And now, I am giving up.
I am giving up on him.

My bags packed, I headed out the door.

"Take care."

He said in his faintest and weakest voice.

I closed my eyes as tears escaped my eyes.
I had to drag my feet and slowly walked away
As I kept this slightest hope that he would let all his feelings out before I disappear from his life.

"Siwon..."

I stopped but couldn't turn around to face him.
"Goodbye, Kyuhyun. I love you."

The door closed behind me.
I was broken. Torn apart.
I wanted to go back and run to him...
But I can't. I won't. Not until he tells me he loves me.

"Kajima. Saranghae. I love you, Siwon. I have loved you all these time."
Kyuhyun whispered in the wind silently as he sat there and stared at the wall, with his heart shredded into million pieces.
And only Siwon can put it back together.

:(