"Have you ever loved someone ? Loved so hard you couldn’t spend a day away from them ? That’s how I feel about music you know, it’s like, air, to me, to us, the young man smiled, I think I’m speaking for all of us, when I say that, music, is our everything, and it will always be our number one lover. "

"So you don’t think about having anyone else in your life ? The journalist smiled, not even you Jay ?"

 

Jiwon passed the mic to Jinhwan-Jay – whatever you choose to call him.

 

"No, Jinhwan whispered, I don’t.. think about dating yet, you know, it’s hard, we don’t have time for this anyway. We... We’re just so focused on our music at the moment, and... dating would just... be useless, what’s the point of dating and falling in love if you can’t give your time, care and love to that person ? I think I’ll be happier knowing that I’m making my fans happy, because if I was dating I would be torned appart, I wouldn’t make my fans happy because I wouldn’t take care of them so much, and it would be the same for the person I love."

"Wow, you guys make it sound so deep, the journalist giggled trying to light up the mood a little, Hanbin, what about you ? If you can’t date like those guys seem to tell, what do you do when you meet girls ?"

"I don’t."

"You don’t what ?"

"I don’t meet girls, Hanbin laughed,honestly I don’t ! He screamed after the journalist raised a doubtful eyebrows, the guys are right, we do work on music, on the dancing, on the video, the promoting, the concerts, and when we get holidays we rather spend them with families."

 

The journalist sighed.

 

"You guys are giving me nothing ! He smiled again, anyway, since this interview is for all of your fans and, they were wondering about your dating life, I guess they’re happy that it’s very much empty."

 

The group laughed after the journalist pointed out their misery once more.

 

"Anyway, the journalist asked, tell me, what’s your type of girl ?"

"Oh, that’s easy, Hanbin smiled, we got that question a lot."

"Really ? How did I never heard the answer ? The journalist asked, here I thought I had a scoop !"

"Well usually the question comes from our little baby here, Yunhyeong said looking at Chanwoo, he’s very concerned about that for some reason."

"Tell us ! Chanwoo, tell me, what’s your hyung’s type of women ?"

"Well, Chanwoo looked at Jinhwan, Jinhwan it would be like a very cute girl that wouldn’t mind how childish he is."

 

Jinhwan hit Chanwoo with his hat and everyone laughed.

 

"I see, what about the others ?"

"Well..."

 

They kept answering a lot of questions for half an hour and then finally got out of that studio, going straight inside a van. Junhoe sighed and looked at the others already closing their eyes for a bit of sleep.

 

"So em, where are you guys going ?"

"Home, what d’you mean ? Chanwoo asked."

"Of course you are going home, Junhoe sighed, your loved one is already there."

 

Yunhyeong smiled and grabbed Chanwoo’s hand and kissed it.

 

"Indeed."

"What about you then ? Chanwoo asked Junhoe."

"Well, I was thinking about joining my little sweetheart, my dear and lovely Park Suyeong !"

"She’s on the phone isn’t she ? Yunhyeong sighed, well then we’ve got one stop at SMTOWN"

"First stop smtown, the driver said."

"Jiwon? Hanbin ? Jinhwan and Donghyeok ? Please guys answer ! Junhoe yelled in a paper he had rolled into a mic, no time to waste."

"Well, since I am S-I-N-G-L-E I guess I’m going home with these two, Donghyeok said with a loud sighed. As always !"

"Come on ! Junhoe laughed,any girl would be lucky to..."

"Oh shut up ! Donghyeok put his earphones on and Junhoe looked at Jinhwan."

"Please answer the question sir, do you feel like going to see Mr Super Secret Lover ?"

"Yeah, he actually just finished too."

"So, where would our next stop be ? Junhoe insisted,pretty eager to join he girlfriend."

"Just leave me … Jinhwan bite his lips,near smtown too. I’ll tell you G, he said to the driver."

"Next stop, mysterious stop, the driver said with a smile."

"You know G, Chanwoo looked at the driver, you might be the first one to meet Jinhwan’s boyfriend ! In fact, when you think of it,you’re the first aware of everything that goes in our lifes !"

"Trust me, the driver said, I am not happy about it. Kids, your life are as boring as..."

"Ok, ok, Junhoe hit Chanwoo and the driver, Hanbin ? Jiwon ? Please tell us what’s your decision."

"I don’t care, Jiwon said looking throught the window. Hanbin do what you want.

"Well someone’s still in a fight."

"No we’re not, Hanbin looked away. If Jiwon wasn’t such an about it everything would already be in the past, but noooo."

"So... Let me get this clear for our poor G."

"God, please don’t let this happen, the driver put his head on the keyboard, why did I took this job ?"

"Hanbin, saw Kisuk  ?"

"By accident, Hanbin ad, it wasn’t my choice Jiwon, remember ? If your girlfriend wasn’t walking around ..."

"Well if maybe you had told us you were here she wouldn’t have."

"Hey, my girlfriend lives there, I’m not going to announce myself to you when I try to surprise her ! Just tell her to be more careful next time !"

"Like it’s her fault ! It’s her home!She should be aloud to do whatever she wants to do  and not fear your y eye !"

"I didn’t look ! She is the last person I wanna see ."

 

A little silent went on the car and Jiwon stoped starring at the window.

 

"Why ? You think she is ugly ? Are you saying my girlfriend doesn’t suit your taste ?"

"I didn’t said that... You know I think Kisuk’s cute but..."

"Oh, so you think she is cute ? That’s why you looked at her ?"

"No !"

"Guys, guys, Yunhyeong sighed, Junhoe was explaining the situation to G that’s all, don’t start fighting again ! Just do like during the interview pretend everything is fine and go home !"

"Great, Hanbin said, now I don’t get to see my girlfriend because of Jiwon’s possessivity and paranoïa, that’s just perfection !"

"I told you to do whatever the hell you want ! Just stay the hell away from Kisuk."

"Oh my god I’m gonna kill myself, the driver said starting the car, I’m going to Smtown, you better make your choice by the time I get there."

 

They drove for a while, neither Jiwon neither Hanbin were talking, but Junhoe was very busy explaining it all to G, how they had been fighting for two days about it, how Hanbin had first been apologetic, then angry and how they both started to snap about totally different things.

When they finally got to the first stop, the driver was relieved Junhoe and Jinhwan got out, he knew with the two love birds and the three morrons he would finally have some peace.

He stopped where he knew the girls lived and looked at Jiwon and Hanbin.

 

"Hanbin go see your girl, tell her I loved the pancakes she made, Jiwon,you get down here too."

"What ?"

"You’re being crazy and I don’t like you when you’re angry so you two better talk this out tonight. Now go."

 

The two guys got out and the driver went to the finale stop, home.

Chanwoo and Yunhyeong hold hands until they got inside the appartment, Donghyeok sadly following. He went straight to bed and the couple suddenly felt bad.

 

"Poor thing, Yunhyeong said, I wish he had someone."

"It must be hard to live surrounded by happy and loving people."

"Well I guess we’re the lucky ones."

"Are we ? Chanwoo smiled and put his arms around Yunhyeong, we got our own troubles, we barely have moments with just the two of us, we have to pretend all the time, in front of everyone, that we are just friends, and we share all the stress, all the time."

"But, we get to live together, Yunhyeong kissed Chanwoo’s forehead, to share our passion for music, and... that’s priceless, we are never forced to be appart. I’m kinda sad for the others, specially Jinhwan, he never shows his feelings, he hides his boyfriend from us, because he is scared it won’t last."

"He will tell us at some point. I mean, Junhoe did told us about Suyeong after two months."

"But Jinhwan is with this mysterious guy for like five months now. What if he never tells us ?"

 

Away from there, Hanbin had finally joined Eunae. She was on the couch, looking at the TV, and he just wrapped his arms around her.

 

"Give me some ? He asked showing the blanket."

 

She put it on his knees and smiled, taking his hand in hers, but looking at the screen, it was the scene where Harry got inside the magic minestry with Dumbledore’s army, they both knew how it was going to end up, Sirius wasn’t there, but he would, and Hanbin knew she would get all emotional despite knowing it.

Jiwon didn’t bothered the love birds, he was angry of course, but he was also kind, and he didn’t wanted to waste Hanbin’s precious time with his girlfriend, he knew way too much how short these moments were.

He got into Kisuk’s room, the light was off but he knew she wasn’t asleep, she had her period and was texting him from her bed, trying not to move or cry.

 

"Hey baby, he smiled and took off most of his clothes, ending up in a shirt and underwear before getting behind her, you’re feeling better ?"

"No, she whispered with a nasal voice, sorry..."

 

He smiled and kissed the back of her head before putting his hand on her belly, warming it up a little.

 

"How does that feel ?"

"better..."

 

She smiled looking at him from the side and he smiled too, kissing her neck.

 

"You just go to sleep, he said, I’ll be here when you wake up."

 

But obviously they all made promise they couldn’t keep. Because like they had said to the journalist earlier, that was their life. Work always came first, and work wouldn’t wait, not even until 7am. It would ring your cellphones at 5am if it wanted to.

Hanbin and Jiwon got dressed in a hurry and then walked down the street together to wait for the van.

 

"So, Hanbin said,how are you ?"

"Tired, Jiwon yawn and smiled, you ?"

"Tired too."

 

The fight was over, it had to come to an end at some point so...

 

Chanwoo and Yunhyeong were both already in the van, Yunhyeong sleeping on the other one’s shoulder. Chanwoo was looking through the window, his puffy eyes, hurting a little, waking up was always hard. All the dreams from the evening would fade away. He knew, Yunhyeong and him would probably never have a real couple holiday, not before years, and Yunhyeong wouldn’t introduce him to his family as his boyfriend, and maybe they would never stop hiding. Sometimes it made him cry, but that day, it didn’t, he was too tired to cry.

Jinhwan too was in the car, he had came back around 2am, so he had got 3 hours of sleep total. Donghyeok was listenning to music, looking at the desert street. They had to pick up Junhoe, he was waiting as he said, looking dead inside. He got inside the van in silence, and he smiled to the couple, feeling so jealous of their love. They got to spend so much time together, they got to have every night, when he and Suyeong had to schedule their meetings. How romantic !

Hanbin and Jiwon got in the car in the same awkward silence, feeling that no one was in the mood to talk.

 

"You people scare me with your switching mood, the driver sighed, come on guys cheer up, you’re going to record a song you’ve been working on for months ! How are you not happy about it ?"

"I’m happy, Jinhwan said with a tiny smile, I just wished it wasn’t 5am but rather like.... in three years of sleeping."

"Same, Chanwoo said, anyway, the manager’s going to be there. We should all..."

"Let’s just say the same things as usual, Jiwon said leaning back in his seat, everyone got home."

"Nah, he knows we stopped near sm."

"Then, let’s just say Jinhwan and Junhoe went for....a drink ?"

"And both got home together around 1am. Ok for everyone ?"

"Why can’t you tell him the truth again ? The driver asked. He probably isn’t that bad..."

"He is, Hanbin bite his lip,let’s just go, it should be fun."

"It will be ! Junhoe smiled and closed his eyes, wake me up when we get here."

 

That was their lives, messy,full of lies and secrets, sometimes it would blow them appart, but usually, they would always end up stronger as a group.

That’s what they thought, until someone snapped.

It was a few weeks later, they had finished recording the four first songs of the album, the mood was good, and since they had some free time, they all decided to meet with their loved ones. All but Donghyeok, who was still single and Junhoe who’s girlfriend was too busy that day. But at least the two guys got to enjoy an empty appartment and get some actual rest.

That night, what they expected the least happened.

Someone knocked at their door.

 

Junhoe oppened the door. It was him, who saw first Lee Manager’s face. The furious anger coming from him made him shiver.

 

"Mr Lee.. ? What...are you doing here ?"

"Where’s Jinhwan ?"

"He..."

"Where is he ?"

 

Lee Manager got inside the appartment and his anger only grew stronger as he ran through the bedrooms despite all the talking Donghyeok and Junhoe were trying to do.

 

"Where’s everyone ?!"

"They are... Hum..."

"I don’t care actually ! Call them ! Call them now ! And call that ing bastard Jinhwan ! He better be fast coming here."

 

It took two hours before all the guys came back, and they looked terrified. The second everyone got in, the manager through something at Jinhwan. They all saw, they were pictures of him with a guy, holding hands, sharing a cake, they all recognized Yuta from NCT. So he was the mysterious boyfriend...

 

"What’s this Jinhwan ? Care to explain ?"

"I... Idon’t know..."

"YOU DON’T KNOW ?! Then tell me, why did I paid journalists and magazines not to publish this ?! Tell me ! Cause clearly you’re on these pictures !"

"Manager... Hanbin slowly said, come on those are just pictures..."

"Pictures ?! You think so ? This,he grabbed a picture, is the end of your days as idols ! This is the end for all of us ! And this, he took something out of his pocket and threw it at Jiwon, it’s your I believe ! "

 

Jiwon didn’t moved, he just looked at the box that had fell on the floor. He forgot he still had it, they weren’t using them anymore, she was on the pill and they had both been tested...

 

"It’s almost empty ! Congratulation you seem to have a lot of  ! Lee manager sighed, guys... This is very bad. Jinhwan, whatever was going on with Yuta it ended tonight. He knows and now, you know it too. Since you’ve been so... busy with your own life I guess you won’t mind if I withdraw you from all your upcoming shows."

"What ?! Jinhwan felt his heart aching,you can’t do that !"

"Oh I can and I will !"

"It’s unfair ! Why is this happening to me ?! "

"You’re the one with a scandalous affair !"

"Oh am I ?! Jinhwan looked at the others then at the manager again,you’re such a blind idiot !"

"What did you just said ?! The anger suddenly left to let surprise make its way to his brain, do you guys all have...scandalous affairs ?! OH MY ! I understand now... Why Hanbin and Jiwon are always leaving practice early ! Why you, Junhoe, show up late ! You... This is...DID YOU ALL LIED TO ME ?!"

"Thanks Jinhwan, Hanbin whispered, way to go buddy."

"HANBIN ! Tell me ! Who’s your boyfriend ? Girlfriend ? Whatever ! What’s her agency ?"

 

Hanbin bit his lower lip, obviously the manager was expecting her to be some celebrity.

 

"She isn’t, famous, or something. But it’s fine."

"She isn’t... WHAT ?! Are you INSANE ?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ?! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT KIND OF SITUATION YOU’RE PUTTING US IN ?!"

"OH CAUSE IT WASN’T FINE UNTIL JINHWAN GOT BUSTED !"

"HEY ! Jinhwan yelled, weren’t you planning on ever telling anyone ?!"

"NOT LIKE THIS !"

"WELL I’M SORRY ! "

"YOU TWO STOP YELLING ! Who else got a relationship right now ? Raise your hand up."

 

Junoe and Jiwon raised their hands, no one said anything about Chanwoo and Yunhyeong, their situation was much more complicated.

 

"Junoe, you better tell me right now who’s your girlfriend."

"No one."

"Really ? The manager crossed his arms, split up with her then, you all will, he said, you will all call them in front of me and after that you’re all on probation."

"What do you mean ?"

"We will delay the next album and let the winners start first"

"What... ? You can’t do that ! Chanwoo yelled, why are we being punished for ;.love ?!"

"You’ve broken your contracts, if you don’t respect it you don’t do your job and your passion that’s it. You broke my trust. Jiwon, your girlfriend, is she a celebrity ?"

"No."

"Junhoe, Jiwon, Hanbin,give me your girlfriend’s adress now."

"Why ? Jiwon asked, you’re not going to visit them are you ?"

"I will do my job that’s it. If you don’t give me their names and adress right away I will make sure your next album waits four more months and your tour will be cancel, I will, also, fire your driver who I know is a part of this on some level. And if those threats aren’t enough, or if you don’t actually believe me you should know that I already cancelled your free weekend, you’ll be practicing."

"What.. ? Chanwoo whispered, but my famly they are expe..."

"Cancelled."

 

They didn’t had an other choice, but to tell the truth about their relationships.

 

"Huh, Jiwon,Hanbin, are you trying to trick me ? This is the same adress !"

"Our... They are roomates, Jiwon said,what are you going to do ? "

"None of your buisness."

 

It only took a day before they found out. First, Suyeong called, she said her goodbyes to Junhoe and never called again. When her agency found out, they threaten to fire her, so she had to promise never to date ever again as long as her contract remained.

When he heard that Jiwon felt his heart aching, he thought about her smile, her eyes, the first time they kissed.

 

It wasn’t very romantic, she knew he liked her, and he knew she liked him too, but they never went on a date, they barely had moments alone since she already lived with Eunae.

So they used the only moment they had.

One evening, Jiwon had stayed over after drinking a little too much, Hanbin was sleeping with Eunae, and he was sleeping on the couch. He woke up because he was thirsty, and when he woke up, she was here, drinking a huge glass of water. He watched her drink, and when she was over, and walked passed him, he caught her hand and pulled her towards him, kissing her.

Then, since neither Kisuk nor Eunae were calling, Hanbin called.

He threw his phone on the wall after a short call with Kisuk.

 

"Eunae won’t return my calls ! Kisuk won’t return yours ! Hanbin said to Jiwon, Manager Lee visited them, he said he would give them money and asked them to move, change their phone numbers and never contact us again !"

"What... ?"

"He is insane ! Dongheyok bit his lower lip, guys you... how can you not fight back ?"

"Fight back ? And how ? They threatened to... cancel us, basically, we can’t do that to you guys. Jiwon sighed, none of us asked for this..."

"That’s not it, Hanbin said,Kisuk said that when they refused the money he said to them he would fire us if they get in touch. That’s why they haven’t called us back. She said she had nothing else to tell us but goodbye. She... Jiwon, she said she thanked you for your days... with her."

 

Jiwon looked away, the anger inside of him was raging, eager to come out and explode, but he had to stay calm. He had to.

 

"Guys, Chanwoo said, this... This isn’t right. For any of us, he smiled at Jinhwan, if... you guys, if they don’t treat us like humans what’s the point ? I’m not a robot, I don’t do music because I want money, I make it because it makes me happy. And it makes people around me happy. But look at us, we are miserable, peoplearound us are miserable too."

"So what ? Junhoe giggled, we quit ?"

"We can threaten to change agency."

"What.. ? Hanbin looked at them, but YG is like..."

"The best, but why ? Because Bigbang, 2NE1 made them famous, and now they only got us, the olders broke appart. If we switch for any agency, it won’t matter, we are already famous."

"But legally it’s.."

"It’s just a threat, Yunhyeong said, Jiwon, Hanbin, Junhoe and Jinhwan, the four of you need to get out. Hide somewhere for a few days, and we will deal with the agency."

"You’d... do that ? Just for us ? Hanbin asked surprised."

"We’re friends, even more than that, Chanwoo smiled, we’re a family, this is about all of us. It doesn’t matter if you’re with someone for two days or five years, you should decide when it ends, not anyone else."

 

Knock knock

 

"You get that ? Please, Eunae yelled at Kisuk from the bathroom."

"Are you crying ? Come on don’t hide, I’ve been crying in front of you all week, Kisuk said."

"So ? Eunae bit her lip, just get it open !"

 

Kisuk got up from the couch, her eyes were puffy, and she had ate way too much ice cream, but she didn’t cared, she didn’t cared about gaining weight, about looking like a ghost, she would never see Jiwon again. She would only see Bobby on TV.

She opened the door.

 

"What..."

 

She closed it right away, or more precisely, she tried, but someone faster and stronger held it open.

 

"Told you she would do that."

"Jiwon !"

"Yeah he’s here too, Hanbin sighed, so much for saying hi..."

"Leave ! You have to !"

"Come on Kisuk open the door !"

"No !"

"Well I was just being nice "

 

Hanbin pushed the door open, he was apparently much stronger than her and he got inside.

 

"Eunae ?!"

 

Kisuk stood still as Jiwon got in right after Hanbin. He didn’t followed him tho, he stood there too, he wouldn’t even look at her.

 

"Aren’t you going to say anything ? She asked."

"No."

"Are you leaving ?"

"No."

"Why did you came ?"

"I love you."

"Oh my god you do ? Eunae’s voice shouted."

 

She knew as well as everyone else in that room that this was the first time Jiwon would express his feelings with that word. He always showed it in so many ways, complimenting her, doing things for her, paying attention, being here for her, but he never told her he loved her. Tho she did, many many times.

The concerned couple stayed silent, while the other couple held hand, suddenly realizing how they too, even if they had expressed their mutual feeling sooner and many time, they too still felt that love for each other. After all this time, the feelings had only grow bigger.

Hanbin suddenly took Eunae in his arm, and he cuddled his head in her neck.

 

"I love you Eunae, I love you so much, and … I will never, ever, leave you again."

 

She smiled, and she gently pat his back.

 

"I know you won’t. But...You have to."

 

Jiwon didn’t moved at all, but his words had set Kisuk free, and she gently took his hand. She pressed her face against it and looked at him. She had tears in her eyes, but she didn’t wanted his last memories of her being her crying.

 

"Jiwon, you can’t stay, you know that right ? Your dreams... I shared them too, it would be selfish of you to give them up."

"Actually.."

 

He explained what they were doing.

And so, for a few days, Hanbin and Jiwon experimented what couple life was actually like.

For a few days, B.I and Bobby got some rest, and Hanbin and Jiwon got to breath.

 

"Hey, let’s make pancakes for tomorrow, Hanbin said, we can do a brunch kind of thing !"

"Oh, then I’ll make my famous omerice !"

 

What a view, Hanbin and Eunae cooking together, laughing, kissing, while Kisuk and Jiwon were sitting on the couch cuddling like kids.

 

"You know you could help right ? Eunae said."

"Oh we know, Kisuk laughed and kissed Jiwon, but we won’t cause we at cooking !"

"Actually, Jiwon is pretty good at cooking, Hanbin said."

"Yeah, but I’m better at kissing..."

 

Jinhwan and Junhoe got an invitation for dinner, this time it was Jiwon and Kisuk’s turn to cook.

 

"Hey, I have a question, Junhoe said, how did you guys meet ?"

"Us ? Hanbin asked pointed Eunae with his finger."

"No, you and Kisuk obviously you seem like a cute couple ! Seen each other and stuff."

"HEY stop talking about it ! Kisuk yelled from the kitchen."

 

Eunae smiled, thinking about that day when they met, or really, met again. How cute he looked in his jeans and white shirt, all simple, and his confident smile, his hand around her waist..

 

"Well, Eunae smiled a little shy from the sudden attention, we met in highschool. But we didn’t dated back then we were just... friends of each other’s friends. And some day I ran into this random dude in a bar and it was Hanbin... So we started texting seeing what the other one was up to. I happen to be a piano teacher so... he asked me to give him some lessons."

"But you don’t play piano, Jinhwan said surprised."

"Yeah I still don’t but hey, I got myself a girlfriend. And I even got one for Jiwon on the way, how am I not promoted best friend ever yet ?"

"Maybe if you weren’t so noisy and needy, Kisuk said with a little grin."

"Hey that’s my boyfriend you’re talking about ! May I remind you yours is rude, annoying and a little bit of a baby."

"Hey, Jiwon said, I didn’t said anything."

"Yeah well you deserved it, Jinhwan laughed, Chanwoo called today."

"We said we were going to wait for after the dinner, Junhoe hit Jinhwan under the table."

"What did he said ? Hanbin asked, he wasn’t smiling anymore."

"The agency wasn’t aware of Manager Lee’s actions. They fired him and assigning us a new manager. We will have a meeting with him about our new contracts."

"Oh my god ;.."

"We don’t know yet about the dating part but... Things are pretty much back to hiding and lying."

"I love hiding and lying ! Jiwon yelled ."

"You’re expressing your love a lot lately, Kisuk said with a little grin, are we emotional mister Jiwon ?"

 

Jiwon smiled and stole her a little kiss before putting food on the table.

 

"So, Jiwon and Kisuk met through you Eunae ?"

"Actually they did, Eunae smiled, Jiwon was pretty shy when he was here before he knew there was a single lady like Kisuk. As soon as they met he started acting like..."

"A clown ?"

"An idiot ?"

"A fool ?"

"You guys really know him well, Eunae giggled, I still don’t believe you fell for that Kisuk."

 

They all laughed, and under the table, Kisuk and Jiwon hold hands.

Nothing in the world would ever make them consider breaking up again. And they knew, they made Jinhwan and Junhoe see that, and believe in that too.