Bae Juhyun stared at the clock hitting exactly 12 o'clock in the morning, so it's official.

 

 

She’s now 28 years old.

 

Irene sat in her bed for awhile and began to recall everything that happened in her 28 years of existence. She remembered walking in their local park with her parents when she was a kid, preparing her younger sister's school materials every night, hanging out with friends on their school's cafeteria, sleeping during class in an unnoticeable way, auditioning at SM and got declined, then suddenly got a call from a staff and she's finally a trainee, meeting her precious members for the first time, leading a group towards success despite all hardships, cooking seaweed soup every birthdays…

 

Speaking of seaweed soup, her nose caught a familiar scent.

 

The scent of something burning.

 

"Okay so what is happening in here?" Irene is now in front of her panicking members in their kitchen. Seulgi, who's about to go to the sink in her black pajamas with a neck pillow, stopped dead in her tracks.

 

"Well..." she nervously went in front of Irene and that made Irene's brow raised. Irene knew Seulgi for like a decade, she knew everything about this certain member. She's nervous because she'll be the one to greet her first, which means the cheesiest birthday greeting should be coming from her.

 

This is like a tradition in the team, someone will be assigned to be the one to start the greeting in a cheesiest manner. It was just a dare when they tried it during rookie days, but then it turned into what it is now.

 

"Unnie-" Seulgi got cut off by a loud banging of a frying pan to the sink and Yerim smiled sheepishly for a bit then blowed her hands to probably cool them from the heat.

 

Aish that kid

 

Irene shook her head for a bit and then focused back on Seulgi.

 

"Unnie-" Seulgi got interrupted once again by the sound of utensils Joy is getting from the compartment. She immediately stopped and pouted.

 

Seulgi wished that she can finally greet her unnie in peace.

 

"Unnie, I've known you for how many years that it felt like we've finally become one person. We sing the same song on the same part at the same time, you immediately understand what I'm thinking without me saying it outloud." Irene smiled geniunely when she noticed Seulgi's eyes.

 

"You're a precious gift to me, my source of strength during trainee days and especially my inspiration until the end. You comfort me during hard times and takes care of me without any complaints. Thank you for everything you've done. I love you and happy, happy birthday!" Seulgi became teary-eyed and when she was about to cry, Wendy suddenly get into the picture with a bowl of seaweed soup.

 

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNNIE!" the four members exclaimed and hug her.

 

"Now you have to savor this" Wendy held up a spoonful of seaweed soup for Irene. The older girl opened and finally tasted it.

 

"Tasty." Irene her lips while nodding her head.

 

"So what was burning?"

 

"The egg. Sorry, unnie. It's my fault." Yeri scratched her head and bowed a little.

 

"It's okay, I hope I'll don't get food poisoned when I'll eat that."

 

"Unnie!"

 

The kitchen was filled with laughter.

 

After eating what her members prepared, they planned to sleep together in their living room. All the comforters are now on the floor, pillows are there too, and they're now about to sleep after talking to each other.

 

Bae looked at the clock, it's already 3 AM.

 

"Good morning everyone. Thank you for everything." The members replied their goodmorning's and welcome's.

 

"You're very much welcome, mom"

 

"I still don't have a daughter like you."

 

Joy then cuddled with Irene, holding her tight while putting her head above Irene's.

 

"I still love you even though you reject me many times." Joy whispered in a sleepy voice, Irene looked up to see Joy closing her eyes.

She then held her tight in return.

 

"You know, I love you too."

 

"Yes I do, now let's sleep mom."

 

Time has passed, Joy now changed her sleeping position and faced her back to the so called mom yet Irene is not able to get a wink of sleep. She decided to get up and sit on the sofa to look at her members' sleeping form. Looking at them sleeping peacefully makes her happy, they're now worry-free, problem-free and just taking a break from reality. Irene sighed deeply, she's having troubles with sleep lately, her worries, the pressure of being a leader seems to get a hold of her, especially wanting to protect her members from the amount of hate thrown at them. She doesn't want them to be hard on themselves, she doesn't want them to be like her.

While she was deep in her thoughts, Yeri got up to sit beside her. When Irene felt the presence beside her, got shocked.

 

"Why are you suddenly here?" Irene asked in a hushed voice with her hand on her chest, trying to calm her heart after getting shocked to the core.

 

"I can't sleep, unnie." Yeri positioned herself in the couch with her head on Irene's legs, the older girl automatically massage the youngest's head. This is a familiar scene to the both of them, they do this all the time.

 

"So what's bothering you, unnie?"

 

Irene thought for a bit. Should she open up or should she just pretend she didn't hear and ask what's bothering the kid instead. She felt like sharing her own problems is not leader-like. Her members' problem should be prioritized, not hers.

 

"It's nothing."

 

"It's something." Yeri sit up and faced Irene.

 

"Unnie, the members, including me, want you to open up. Whenever you try to hide everything, it hurts. Are we not trustworthy enough?" Yeri sounds so serious, her eyes are glistening too.

 

"It's not that. It's not about you being untrustworthy, because I trust you all with my life."

 

"But you don't trust us with your problems."

 

"I want to solve it on my own." hearing that, Yeri bowed her head.

 

"The members also have problems that they want to solve on their own, but still, they chose to share it with us all, they chose to open up and let us in. Why can't you do that too?" Yeri began to shake, and Irene's tears are now flowing silently.

 

"It's hard for me to do so. I'm a leader, I'm the pillar of this group, if you know that I'm breaking inside, who would be the pillar instead?"

 

"We can be your pillar, unnie. I know you're the biggest pillar of this group but you should always remember, we're here to keep you on your feet too."

 

"Being a leader comes with any form of responsibilities. I'm in charge of the group, I'm in charge of you, Sooyoung, Seungwan and Seul-"

 

"Then who's in charge of you?"

 

"Myself." Yeri sighed deeply and lean back.

 

"Because I'm the leader. If I share my problems, it will affect you all and affecting you is a bad thing, as what I've said I'm in charge of you. You'll get broken by me."

 

"Why are you even thinking about that? Unnie, yes it will affect us but not in a negative way. We'll get stronger for you. We love you and wouldn't want to be a burden."

 

"There will be times that all of us will face personal problems at the same time. Since you know I'm having a hard time, you won't share your problems with me because you think it's a burden. That's what I'm thinking, you'll just keep your problems to yourselves for my sake."

 

"Unnie, we're a family. We fix problems together, so please remember that there's nothing wrong when you open up. And before you became our leader, you were our friend first. Don't pressure yourself with the leader responsibilities because we don't care about your position when it's just us."

 

Yeri stared at Irene's face and gently wiped the tears from her eyes. She then went back to her original place beside the sleeping Wendy. After being dazed, Irene now found herself cuddling with Joy.

 

The group is now found having a picnic beside the Han River. Joy, Yeri and Seulgi are busy teasing each other while running around, maknaes are teaming up against Seulgi who looks like an abandoned puppy. Meanwhile, Irene and Wendy watch the scene in peace.

 

“I was awake, unnie.”

Irene nods, still watching the kids.

“Don’t bottle everything up. One day you’ll just explode and that’s not what we want. We don’t want to see you suffer.” Irene sighed and started to massage her temple.

 

“I have a lot of things in mind, a lot of negativity, a lot of unnecessary thoughts that wouldn’t make me feel better about myself.” Irene looked up to the bright sky while Wendy just stared at her.

 

Wendy admires Irene ever since she saw her at the training room assigned for the trainees back then. Irene is obviously a great dancer, she’s graceful and she captivates everyone with the smoothness of every move she does. Her voice is soft and heartwarming when singing but then when she rapped, it lowers down and became husky, catching Wendy off-guard on that day.

 

In her eyes, Irene is perfect.

 

But as years go by, she realized Irene is indeed perfect,

 

perfectly imperfect.

 

 

Bae Juhyun stared at the clock situated on their living room.

 

 

It’s now 11:50 PM.

 

 

50 mins. passed after they arrived at the dorm from their celebration of Irene’s birthday in random places. After waking up and grabbing breakfast, they went to Han River to relax for a bit before finding the perfect café for them to hangout with food and then went to a KTV bar where they mostly had fun singing songs and beating each other’s score. It’s just a simple celebration but for Irene, it’s already grand. Having the members by her side on her special day makes the day perfect no matter what they do. They are her strength, happiness, comfort, and most importantly, her inspirations to keep moving forward, without them she won’t be there on her current place. She won’t be successful on her own, she won’t be Bae Juhyun without Kang Seulgi, Son Seungwan, Park Sooyoung and Kim Yerim.

 

They complete her.

 

“Hey, unnie.” Yeri repeatedly snapped her fingers in front of the lost Irene.

 

“Huh?”

 

Irene finally came back to reality and is now facing her members which are slumped on the floor in front of the couch she’s sitting on.

 

“Why are you even there? Come seat beside me.” She patted the couch but the members just shook their heads and Wendy said-

 

“We have to be here so we can look up to the person we admire the most.”

 

“You mean, the person you and Seulgi unnie admire the most.” Joy teased the old couple that are couple goals on everything that they even admire the same person.

 

“What’s not to admire about unnie?” Seulgi asked in a boastful way.

 

“Nothing.” Wendy answered and then high-fived Seulgi while the maknaes just face-palmed themselves in front of the cringing Irene.

 

“You two need to keep your mouth shut.” Irene jokingly warned the two with the maknaes motioning to zip their mouths in the background.

 

“If we close our mouths now, what will happen?”

 

“I’ll open up.”

 

The four members suddenly have that knowing look plastered on their faces when they caught each other’s eyes. For them, it’s already a big achievement to make Irene open up to them, it’s a big achievement that Irene finally let them in on the dark corners of her troubled mind.

 

“I guess we’ll have to zip our mouths together in the count of 3.”