Something shifted, Sana thinks, as she finds herself more invested in whatever her best friend is doing more than before. Sure, Sana was known for looking at someone, even a total stranger, with the utmost care and affection but this was different. It was different because now Sana was paying attention – she was watching every detail of Mina, Mina's every move: the way she sticks her tongue out when she’s playing a game, how her eyes sharpen when she’s studying, how she gestures wildly with her hands when she’s telling Sana what her presentation is about.

And maybe she’s overreacting and panicking over nothing, but she thinks something in Mina shifts too because now her smile lingers more when she looks at her– how she squeezes her hand when Sana is struggling with her research, how the hugs and kisses and the skimming touches that were friendly before seemed to burn Mina with something, her skin aching for more – how Mina’s eyes would dart to her lips and then up to her eyes, staring as if Sana was the most beautiful girl she’s ever laid her eyes on.

Something changed, and Sana doesn’t quite know how to feel about it.

-

At some point it starts to get weirder and weirder how easily Sana can read Mina, but at the same time she can’t seem to quite figure out what she’s thinking.

Like this time they’re getting out of the restaurant they usually go to when they’re done revising papers, studying or just the place where they hang out if they’re bored.

Something shifts, Sana thinks, by how Mina is holding Sana’s hand while she’s drinking her coffee, how she’s tracing patterns alongside her arm – spelling words Sana can’t quite understand and the way she smiles at her, a smile beaming with a feeling Sana can’t read. A smile that could break the sky and the clouds and everything surrounding it, a smile that seems to carry more emotions that she could ever begin to think of – a smile that Sana can’t name.

Something is changing.

-

It happens when Sana felt the most helpless. They were walking to the movies, fingers intertwined and Mina ranting about Penny Dreadful‘s ending. Sana thinks Mina is the cutest when she’s talking about something she’s passionate about: be it literature, movies or TV shows, the things she loves, the thing she hates.

(Mina is adorable all the time, but Sana won’t say that out loud.

Not because she doesn’t want to, but because she thinks she won’t be able to handle Mina’s adorable pout or whines.

She’s helpless, right?)

It happens almost automatically. She abruptly stops walking, pulls Mina closer to her by their intertwined hands and kisses her. She didn't stop to think, she just acted upon it. Upon a burning desire that finally crashed.

She kisses her hard and something inside Sana clicked. She jumps back when she catches herself, to the fact she’s kissing Mina – she kissed Mina! For god’s sake it’s Mina we’re talking about! - , to find Mina’s eyes boring into her brain with something that’s either confusion, or just simple awe. Either way, it makes Sana crave more.

But she doesn't. 

“Oh – oh Mina I’m so, so sorry. I wasn’t thinking-”

But Mina doesn’t answer. She blinks once, twice, four times – her lips twitching with how big her grin is, hands behind Sana’s neck to pull her closer, to kiss her again.

Sana is startled by the change, but soon gives up and kisses her back with the same urgent pace Mina kisses her. When Mina breaks the kiss, she expects a reaction of some sort. A hard what did you do that for? or Mina teasing her as she always does with a you really haven’t found a date, huh? – but Mina just laughs. She laughs, soft and quiet, almost shy, and steps closer to the terrified Sana to cup her cheek.

“Minatozaki Sana,” she starts, thumb caressing the older girl’s cheek, eyes so soft it could melt every wall Sana has built up within her. “what took you so long?”

Something changed, but Sana feels as if it was always meant to change like this.

-

It hadn’t even been one day and Mina is quick to call Sana her girlfriend.

And Sana doesn’t quite get used to it. Maybe it is because she’s still in shock, because it’s Mina, and she’s with her, and she’s holding her like she’s her lifeline and kissing her with so much love that Sana can’t bear it and she can’t help to overthink because it’s Mina and she’s kissing me and I’m kissing her and what the how did this even happened-

But Mina is quick to reassure her, to make her feel safe. “We don’t have to label anything yet, if you’re not comfortable enough. It’s okay” she whispers to her one night, moments before bed, a time in place where embracing one's vulnerability is allowed. 

Sana feels guilty because it feels as though she’s forcing Mina to hide some embarrassing secret; her heart aches whenever Mina removes her hand quickly when they encounter someone they both know. She knows Mina’s annoyed by this, because she can’t wait to show Sana as the person she loves the most. Sana gets sad at this, but Mina is quick to tell her hey it’s fine, as long as you’re with me by the end of the day and it calms Sana’s heart a little.

Sana will soon get used to it. She will. It’ll take time, but she will.

_

When she does, though, it’s because something – or rather someone – made her barf the words as quickly as she breathed.

They’re at one of Mina’s classes awaiting for the teacher to show up so the presentation can start. Sana feels out of place here since it’s not what she studies.

(Mina is majoring in Psychology and Sana in Architecture.

These two majors have really nothing in common.)

But Sana’s here, waiting for Mina to do her thing, drinking a can of soda she found in the corner of the classroom and seriously considering putting a bit of alcohol in it to survive this.

And that’s when she sees it. Mina, near the classroom door, talking to one of her classmates (whom she can only recognize as Nayeon). It’s nothing out of ordinary, Mina is not as socially awkward as she may seem and it doesn’t bother Sana – or so she likes to think – how she’s smiling widely at whatever the other girl is saying.

It doesn’t bother her, really, at all.

 (It does.)

It’s fine.

(It isn’t.)

It’s when Nayeon starts reaching across to lovingly brush Mina’s hair off her face and laughing as Mina makes a witty comeback and how she starts to lower her hand to grab Mina’s shoulder is when Sana finds herself dumping her cup into the trash can, head spinning with god why is she so touchy who does she think she is can she get her hand off her god – legs coming closer to where Mina was.

“Hey there,” she forces out, arm slung over Mina’s shoulder. “What are you doing?”

Mina and Nayeon stare right back at her. “Nothing. Nayeon here is telling me how this teacher is known for being late.”

Nayeon frowns, already betraying her. “Uhm, are you two dating?”

Mina snaps her eyes open, mouth ready to say the usual words No they’re not dating they’re just touchy can’t a girl be touchy in peace? Why does everything have to be ual? God stop being so ignorant – but Sana beats her.

“Yes. She’s my girlfriend.”

Nayeon’s face twists with disappointment, confusion taking over her. “But…. Mina said she was single-“

“No, she’s dating me,” Sana jumps to the cut, brown eyes looking at Nayeon, too busy staring down at the shorter girl to notice Mina’s grin. “We’re girlfriends.”

Nayeon frowns, curious eyes following the hand sliding across Sana’s arm to later grab her hand and squeeze. She’s wary, she doesn’t ignore the venom laced in Sana’s word and she huffs, leaving.

Sana exhales, looking back at Mina who’s now amusedly grinning as wide and open as the ocean itself.

“No, don’t look at me like that. She was all over you! As your girlfriend I had all the right to-“ She’s interrupted by a pair of soft lips pressing against hers, immediately shutting up.

Flustered, she opens her eyes to look at Mina, who’s now cupping her cheek with her right hand, eyes shining with love.

“You admitted it.”

And then, in that exact moment, something inside Sana definitely changed.

-

Mina really isn’t the conventional romantic – in fact, Sana was sure Mina wasn’t a sap at all. There would be no roses, no food on bed or streams of compliments. It wasn’t anything like that.

Mina was her own type of romantic. The one that would show you their love with small, simple details.

Like the one time Mina spent five hours cleaning Sana’s closet because the brunette complained that it was getting hard trying to find something to wear in this mess and at the mention of trouble, Mina was the first to jump.

Whilst cleaning it, Mina found a black and grey top that she hasn’t seen Sana wear. Never. So she asks.

“This is pretty,” Mina leaned over the pile and stuffed the fabric into Sana’s hands. “It fits you.”

Sana raises a brow, doubtful. “In what way?”

The black haired girl stops to get up and stare right into her girlfriend’s eyes. “Your eyes. It fit your eyes.”

Sana blinks in surprise, feeling the pull at the corners of her lips. “My eyes?”

Mina hums. “I like your eyes… I’d say it’s even your best feature.”

Sana is hit with more silence, and a warm feeling spreading up her neck and threatening to tear her apart.

Or when Sana was too busy studying and Mina brought her two of Sana’s favorite cakes – occasionally excusing herself saying things like well it’s your favorite, isn’t it? And this cake shop is always in the way home, so why not stop there?

(When in reality, to get to Sana’s favorite cake shop you have to drive 40 minutes.

But she doesn’t dare to burst Mina’s strong bubble.)

Or like the time Sana’s caught with a flu that managed to bring her down to bed, and the soon she calls Mina she’s here, with soup, and candies, and movies and shows Sana likes – ready to drop everything just to take care of her.

Mina would ditch classes because she had other friends to fill her in, and Sana too. Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it under control.

Sana likes it the best when they’re laying down in bed, snuggling together to watch another one of their favorite movies, with her head resting on top of Mina’s chest and she doesn’t think she could be any more happier than this.

“Won’t you get sick?” Sana mutters against her neck. She was feeling sleepy, eyelids dropping every now and then.

“No. I won’t.”

“How are you so sure?”

“Because I don’t get sick,” Mina shrugs nonchalantly and Sana smiles, nuzzling closer to breath in her warmth.

“You don’t?”

“Getting sick is for the weak.”

Sana snorts, only to cough seconds later. “Of course of course the great Mina would say something like that. My bad.”

“And besides,” Mina adds, eyes glued to the television, “I can’t get sick when you’re sick. You pretty much take most of my time, you know?”

Sana smiles, and she feels soft lips pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

Or how Sana finds the romanticism in Mina by the way she looks at her, kisses her, touches her – as if she was the most precious thing ever, a flower she has to deal with delicately. How she spills love into everything she does for the brunette.

Sana sees Mina’s struggles with words, but she isn’t at all annoyed.

-

Sana likes it when Mina falls asleep first, because she can admire her the way Mina admired her. She could observe her and appreciate all the little details that made Mina perfect in her eyes: her moles, her nose, her lips, her cheeks, jaw, eyes, brows – everything.

She loved all these little pieces, and Sana felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

-

Mina was a storm, and Sana already knew how to navigate herself around a fuming Mina. She knows how to avoid Mina’s cutting words by now, Sana thinks, was easy for now.

Predicting them, however, was the real obstacle.

There’s fights. Nothing physical, nothing out of normal, but it’s a fight nonetheless. Mina takes Sana’s words, twist them into something it’s not, to later find a screaming Mina and a calm Sana.

Sana doesn’t put up a fight because she knows Mina doesn’t mean it, doesn’t mean the screaming, the words, nothing – she waits for Mina to burn up because she needs it.

She waits, and by the end of the day you’ll find a remorseful Mina and a still calm Sana.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“The yelling. I… I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for.”

“What?”

“You did nothing wrong, Mina.”

“… Why?”

And here’s the part Sana loved: Why.

Mina had a lot of insecurities, despite her strong façade deep down she’s as insecure and unsure as the rest of us. It’s only natural.

Mina often finds herself asking at Sana Why do you like me? And Sana’s answer is always the same.

“Because I do. There’s no reason to. You make me feel like I’m wired to protect you, and so I will.”

“But I’m a mess, Sana! A ing mess”

“But you’re my mess. And as my mess, I have to take care of you.”

Sana smiles fondly at the younger girl as she brushes a strand of hair from Mina’s forehead, thumb caressing her cheeks.

It was the only thing to do.

(And Sana didn’t ask why.)

-

Mina is always ranting about too many things at the same time, making it difficult for Sana to follow her train of thought so she just kisses her. It’s her favorite thing to do.

“What did you do that for?”

Sana shrugs, and she says before leaning down to kiss her again. “Because I felt like it.”

Mina scoffs, but returns the kiss almost automatically.

-

Sana shouldn’t have been surprised at this either.

Really. It was foolish of her to think otherwise.

Everything about Mina is so sudden and fresh and fun and new and it manages to sweep her feet off the ground and make her high with love. It makes sense now, given that they’re 6 months into the relationship, snuggling together while they watch Split but the only thing Sana pays attention to is Mina’s little rant about the absurdity of the situation.

“A beast Sana, a beast! How is that even possible?! All the other personalities are human and that’s understandable because there are scientific studies supporting it but to physically turn into a beast for a personality?! Absurd.” She shakes her head, sighing and her hands gestures to the TV and then at the air. “It’s stupid. A beast. I can’t believe they’d ruin a movie like this.”

Sana meets her with a beaming smile, small chuckles and a nodding head as if supporting her opinion (honestly she didn’t pay attention to the movie at all. Can’t blame her though, it’s not her area of expertise.)

What Sana only manages to blurt out, instead, is, “You’re so cute. I love you.”

Mina halts and so does the world around her. And Sana realizes the beat of her heart is the loudest sound in the room. Sana looks up to find the same surprised look on Mina.

She gulps before saying, “Uh, I… uh, just… God I’m so sorry for blurting out something like this in a moment like this I just, God you’re just so ing beautiful when you’re passionate about something and I just. I m-mean,” she curses at herself for stuttering, “I’m sorry-“

“I love you too.”

A beat.

“A lot. I didn’t know how to say it, or when, but-“

Another beat. Then a pause.

“But I do know I love you. I love you too much.”

Sana waits for her shock to wash out, and soon a smile cracks its way out leaking gold and shining as a star.

She lets out a humorless laugh before surging forward onto Mina, lips colliding in a kiss that’s strong and urgent and full of need. The physical manifestation of the three words they just said.

And Sana wouldn’t trade this for anything else.

-

Mina is a gentleman, surprisingly.

Like when they’re walking, hand in hand, in the cold breeze of November and Sana’s shuddering, the first thing Mina does is put her coat around her shoulders, while simultaneously scolding her with you knew we were walking and you didn’t bring an extra coat. How careless.

And Sana loves Mina maybe a little bit more.

-

Mina is passionate, Sana knows this already. She turns red for what she likes, and dislikes.

So when she invites her over to her parent’s house to help her father plan the birthday of Sana’s mom, she expected something like this.

(She wouldn’t be Mina if she didn’t do something like this.)

She’s helping while watching her girlfriend across the room, yelling about how dim the lights are and how the food isn’t good enough and how well maybe is because you’re so far up your bosses’ that you can’t seem to walk on your own to find the correct decorations and what do you think this is? A party for a five year old? off with the pink! And, of course, a I swear if you look at Sana that way again I’ll personally tore your throat apart. And I mean it!

And Sana can’t help but laugh, until a tap on her shoulder forces her to tear her gaze off her girlfriend to turn around.

She meets her cousin, who’s awkwardly standing beside her watching Mina yell from afar, and asks with a raise of his eyebrow. “Uh, isn’t that your girlfriend…?”

Fond redness trickles over her body and she feels the pull of her lips getting wider and wider as she answers, still looking at Mina’s direction.

“Yeah,” she breathes out with a smile threatening to break her skin apart, “she is.”