“I love you, our love is true”

“Yeah Taek.” A new voice joined our conversation. I looked behind Taekwoon hyung and saw the other owner of the shop, Hakyeon hyung coming out of the back room with a freshly made bouquet of orange tulips. “It has been a month since he last bought those and it’s that time of month now. Honestly, do you even know what today is?” he joked, pecking Taekwoon hyung’s cheek. He then turned to me and greeted me with a smile, “Hi Sikkie.”

“Hey Hakyeon hyung.”

“Alright alright no need to gang up on me I was only joking,” Taekwoon hyung said, shaking his head while punching a few keys on the register. “That’ll be 500 bucks, Sik.”

“Well, that’s expensive.” I got my wallet from my back pocket, took the money and gave it to hyung.

“Sorry Wonsikkie but the price of the flowers just spiked yesterday,” Taekwoon hyung explained. “Just kidding, kid. You don’t have to pay for the bouquet today; it’s on the house. Your bouquet will be ready in a few minutes.”

I nodded and went over to a nearby stool, sat down and watched as Hakyeon hyung sprayed water on the flowers on display. Taekwoon hyung had gone to the room Hakyeon hyung came out of earlier, presumably to make the bouquet I ordered.

See, Hakyeon hyung and Taekwoon hyung own this small but quaint flower shop across the street from my flat. I have known the couple since high school and have been my best friends since. They have been there for me when I needed the support the most and therefore they are two of the most important people in my life.

‘Hey,” Hakyeon hyung called. I must have been spacing out or something because then he asked, “you okay?” I didn’t even notice that he was squatting in front of me.

“Yeah,” I answered. “It’s just, today’s got me thinking, you know?”

Hakyeon hyung patted my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. He then gave me a single stalk of some violet flower. “Look love, it’s gonna be okay, alright? Everything’s gonna be okay.”

I took the stalk and stared at it curiously. “What’s this, hyung?”

“That,” he said, standing up and gesturing to the flower, “is a Violet. It means ‘loyalty, devotion, faithfulness’. Reminds me of you.”

I raised my eyebrow at him. “Really now?” I received a wink as an answer.

Moments later Taekwoon hyung entered the shop with my bouquet of white stargazers in his hand. It was tied together on the stems and was arranged beautifully. “I was actually thinking of wrapping them in japanese paper but then I figured you’d just put them in a vase so I didn’t bother.” He handed me the flowers and I took them gratefully.

I stood up and headed for the door. “Thanks hyungs,” I told them, opening the front door, “for everything.”

“You’re always welcome, Sikkie,” Hakyeon hyung said, smiling.

“Oh and Wonsik,” Taekwoon hyung called before I got the chance to go out. “Happy anniversary.”

I smiled at them sadly before leaving the shop, closing the door with the hand that held the Violet stalk.

“Wonsik hyung!” a pleasant voice called as soon as I entered the facility. “You’re a bit late today, hyung. What gives?”

“Who are you, Tael, my mother?” I joked.

He just chuckled. “Come on, I’m sure he’s waiting for you.”

I followed Taeil into the corridors of the hospital and into the elevators. We entered the lift and Taeil pushed the button for the eighth floor.

Once we got to the eighth floor, he led me through the hallway and stopped at the sixth door to the right. He really didn’t have to, but he always accompanied me to this certain room and I wouldn’t admit it but I actually appreciated the company he was giving me.

The minute we walked in the sound of machines beeping greeted us by the doorway. Those machines; I loathed them but at the same time they were what was keeping him- keeping us- alive and so I had no choice but to bear with them.

I walked over to the bed where the love of my life –no matter how cringe worthy that was- laid. He looked so peaceful; just lying there on the bed, tubes that connected his wrists to the machines trying their best to keep him alive. I wish it wasn’t the case though.

“No changes?” I asked, my eyes not leaving the beautiful man in front of me.

“I’m sorry hyung,” Taeil answered, closing the door after himself. His voice was sad, but it was genuine and not as if he was required to feel that way because of his job. “I wish there was something I could do but-“

“It’s fine,” I cut him off. I turned to him and gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “You have been doing more than you’re supposed to, taking care of him when I’m not here and I really really appreciate it.”

I settled on the chair next to the bed where Jaehwan hyung laid, sleeping his life away. In the background I can hear Taeil check some charts on the desk attached to foot of the bed and then he headed over to the bedside table, grabbed the vase and removed the old flowers from it. He then went to the bathroom to get rid of the water and replace it with clean water from the tap. “Those stargazers are lovely, hyung. Here,” he said handing the now empty vase to me.

“Thanks.” I took the vase and put the stargazers in. I returned the vase onto its original place.

“It’s his favorite flower, isn’t it?” Taeil was now seated on the couch against the wall by the foot of the bed. I nodded. “I notice that you bring them for hyung on a certain day—I’m assuming today is special? If memory serves right it’s a monthsary?”

“Anniversary, actually,” I answered smiling slightly and directing my attention to the younger nurse. “It’s actually our third anniversary as a couple.” I then chuckled dryly.

“Also, one year ago today, hyung got himself a room into this hospital.”

It was then that Taeil realized what day it was today, judging from the surprised expression that he was now wearing. “I totally forgot. I’m sorry hyung-“

“It’s no big deal, Tael.”

Silence was then present in the room with us but it wasn’t awkward. I turned my attention back to Jaehwan hyung, his head slowly. He loved it when I did that to him. It’s comforting, he used to say.

Taeil must have noticed me playing with the Violet with my other hand because he asked, “is that a Violet, hyung?”

I bring the flower to eye-level and observed it, twirling it around with my fingers. “Yeah, a friend gave it to me earlier.”

“Suits you, hyung,” he commented. He then got up and headed for the door. “It’s a perfect representation of you: loyal, devoted, faithful.” He opened it and said, “Alright hyung, duty calls. I’ll leave you two alone for now. Call me if you need anything.”

As the door closed I put the flower beside the vase and held Jaehwan hyungs hand.

It was unfair. Here was hyung, lying so peacefully on this damn bed without a care in the world and here I was, suffering for apparently a year now.

I should’ve just followed him. I should have never persuaded him to go out for dinner with me that day. He wanted to stay home, cuddle while watching a movie. We should have done that instead.

My vision was getting blurry. I blinked. A tear rolled down my cheek. And then another. And then another.

“I miss you, hyung,” I told him, not even sure if he could hear me. “I miss you so much. I see you everyday but that means nothing if you’re not awake. Why can’t you just wake up hyung? Please wake up. I need you to wake up. I need you. “

I was holding on to Jaehwan hyung’s hand as if my life depended on it. If I thought about it, it did. He was my life, and seeing him like this everyday without fail- it was as if I was in a coma with him. My life was dull because he wasn’t there to brighten it up.

“I need you hyung. Please. Wake up for me, hyung.”

I guess I was crying so hard with my head down on the bed that I didn’t notice it the first time.

I kept on pleading with hyung to wake up that I didn’t even feel it.

It was on what I believe was the second time that I felt it. It was very faint that it could be understandable that I didn’t notice it the first time [not saying that it was though].

I thought I was imagining it. I hurriedly wiped my tears away and looked at Jaehwan hyung. There were no changes visible but I could have sworn that it was real.

And then there it was again. There was no mistaking it. I yelled repeatedly for Taeil to come in the room. I couldn’t believe it.

Nurses led by Taeil barged into the room and went over to check on hyung while I was told to move aside.

I watched as they fussed over my other half, checking his vitals and checking for changes or if anything was out of the ordinary. I stood by the bathroom door, my right hand being held by my left against my chest. There was no mistaking it. I could still feel it.

Jaehwan hyung’s fingers brushed mine earlier.