One could never tell how the weather was going to be recently. By season, it was winter – it wasn’t even February yet – but the number of days where Seoul was blessed (or cursed) with heavy rain and thunderstorm made you think how bizarre has the world climate became.

Winter used to be a beautiful memory in his mind, with all that blanket of white snow, a warm hot chocolate or pumpkin latte at night, and two pairs of hands, interlaced fingers – seeking warmth from each other. It was beautiful and easy. High school felt less dreaded and college was a lot more bearable. Being with each other was enough comfort during the cold winter nights.

Kyungsoo sneezed and quickly slammed the window completely closed. It was stupid of him to even try to let the outside air in while working in his room. It was somehow suffocating though. A heater didn’t hold a candle to the kind of heat a human can provide to another human. Before he realized it, winter slowly became the season he grew to dislike.

The freelance writer sipped the bitter coffee, hoping to fight back the coldness outside. He leaned his body backward and stretched out his sore arms. His mind wandered around the things that were incessantly bugging him recently.

Firstly there was all that fiasco with the KJ Group’s heir, Baekhyun’s missing shoe and Kyungsoo’s very own existence in the incident. It constantly put him on pins and needles. Baekhyun said that it wasn’t just about the shoes or the big money he might’ve get from them, but it was just right to let Kim Jongin knew that Kyungsoo was the person who saved him.

Kyungsoo doubted that it was even necessary but his housemate mentioned that there were actually so many people went to the company’s head quarter after the announcement was made. Apparently everyone was claiming that they were the ones who helped that heir of KJ Group. Obviously, all of them just made up some stories but Baekhyun thought that it was unfair if somebody was to be given credit for something they didn’t actually do.

It had been three days since then but Kyungsoo still hadn’t decided anything about it. Baekhyun even refused to clean that shoe in his possession, just in case. It was the only proof anyway. He heard that some people even bought a pair of shoes – Oxford, navy color – just to make their story sounds genuine. Kyungsoo had to roll his eyes at that.

Some people would go miles and beyond for money.                                               

He swiveled the chair to face the window. The night sky looked painfully empty without a single star decorating it. It might rain again tonight. Kyungsoo breathed in a calm pattern, trying to lift all of the stress off of his head.

He got an email yesterday. It was from his old employer and they asked him if he was interested to work at their company again. It was a different position though – assistant manager of his old department – which meant a higher salary and bigger responsibility. More workload too.

Kyungsoo had been thinking about it a lot, actually. Since that day Baekhyun talked about finding his own happiness, the writer realized that having a stable job again might lessen his insecurity especially about his financial state. The offer from his ex-employer sounded like a golden opportunity but then Kyungsoo remembered that his son also needed him, probably more now than ever. The boy already had one busy mom and Kyungsoo thought that it would be too cruel if Jonghoo had to grow up without much attention from his dad too.

Sighing for the umpteenth time, Kyungsoo rubbed his face roughly and decided that he should just sleep before all these problems break his head into halves.

His phone went off and rang loudly as he made his way to the bed. Kyungsoo almost tripped and cursed under his breath. His forehead furrowed as he took a closer look at the caller ID.

“Hello-”

“Jonghoo’s down with fever. He’s in the hospital,” Yejin’s voice greeted him without waiting for any pleasantries.

Kyungsoo’s body quickly propelled from his bed into a sitting position.

“What?!”

“It’s KJ Hospital, their Sejong-ro city branch. You know where it is, right?” his former wife sounded like she was in a rush. A small frown made its way onto Kyungsoo’s face at the mention of the hospital. He was already out of bed and took his coat off of the rack, ready to leave.

“Why is it not the hospital that you are working at?”

He sensed the woman’s annoyed sigh more than he heard it.

“He’s at mom’s place earlier and KJ is closer than here,”

“Wait, here? What do you mean ‘here’? You’re not with Jonghoo right now?” Kyungsoo grabbed his car key and ran to the elevator after leaving a note at Baekhyun’s door that he’s out to the hospital.

“God, Do Kyungsoo. Will you stop asking and just go check him up? Some people are working at this hour unlike you who literally stay at home the whole day!” Yejin’s impatient remark was like a slap to his face. Kyungsoo tightened his hold on the phone and gritted his teeth.

“I have to go. There are patients waiting for the doctor and I can’t afford to leave. Tell Jonghoo I’ll come tomorrow or the day after if he’s warded till then,” a click was heard over the line and Kyungsoo was left hanging before he could even say anything.

He stared at his phone as he started the car engine.

“And there’s no sick child waiting for his mom? Seriously, Jung Yejin,” disappointed was an understatement to explain what Kyungsoo was feeling right now.

Pushing the unpleasant thoughts away, the writer drove his way to the hospital without further delay. He was praying nervously that his boy’s condition was not too serious. He then got a text from Yejin telling him Jonghoo’s room number. Kyungsoo exhaled loudly, carrying his worried heart and heavy mind along the ride.

“It’s late, Mr. Jongin. You should stop working and take a rest,”

Said guy – Kim Jongin, the second son of KJ Group’s owner; took a glance at the clock hanging on the wall. He cleared his throat in small movement, still a little painful after the operation three days ago. A tired sigh escaped his lips.

He just smiled at his secretary despite the dull pain around his throat. Getting used to the breathing tube was not a problem. The more tiring thing was that he had to limit speaking, eating and all the simple tasks that involved his upper respiratory track.

Working from the hospital room has it perk as he didn’t have to see all the bustling in the office. It was agreeably peaceful even if he had to settle his work under the scrutiny of the family doctor and his loyal secretary.

He got it, that they were all worried about his health. But Jongin refused to succumb to the little discomfort in lieu of slacking off from the works he had to be responsible for. He pushed the laptop aside and came down from the bed in careful steps. Eyeing the room briefly, the young man slowly shoved the curtain open and made his way to the balcony of his room.

It was mind-numbingly chilly but Jongin happily breathed in the night air and smiled to himself. He had always love winter. Some people might think winter in Seoul was painfully harsh as of late, but to Jongin who’d been living in another country for so many years, the snow and wind here are a lot prettier than anything he had seen before.

It could be the fact that he was born in winter, or it could be the memories of his late mom who always smiled, holding little Jongin with her fragile fingers whenever the weather was too cold. It could be all those memories of playing in the snow with her, helping her with dinner, or the times he spent making her some cherry pie with the help of the cooks.

Jongin loved winter, as it was a constant reminder of his beloved mom.

“Why are you still up?”

Startled, Jongin instantly turned around to greet the guy. It was Jongdae, his twin brother. That’s right. Kim Junmyeon has 4 sons – two pair of twins. There were Jongdae and Jongin, and also their younger twin brothers, Jihun and Jisung. A lot of people knew them for the facts that they came from this wealthy family and that there were 2 sets of twins in the siblings.

Jongin closed the curtain and took a seat at a plush couch at one corner of the room. Eating only liquid food was draining his energy too fast but there was nothing he could do. While he did find some peace within the confine of the VIP ward, it was also frustrating to wait for at least another week to remove the trach from his larynx area.

The sale executive picked up an empty notebook and a pen from the table and started to write some things. For now, it was the easiest mode of communication for him.

“Have you found the shoe owner?” he held the paper up so his twin brother can read it.

Jongdae stilled for a moment. He asked Jongin’s secretary Sehun and his own assistant Hyunwoo to leave.

Taking his time to explain, Jongdae looked at his brother warily. He could only be thankful that somebody was there to save him that day. It was not the first time something like this happened. Many years ago too, but they were lucky because it was during school time and Jongin was sent immediately to the hospital when he told the teacher that he had difficulty breathing.

A sigh followed suit after what seemed like an eternity.

“No, we haven’t. All kind of people came and told us they are the ones who saved you, but I know they are only cooking up some lies. Some of them bring a totally new shoe and some even got the size wrong. Honestly, how far can they go for this? They didn’t even know what exactly happened to you that night,” he pressed a palm onto his face.

Jongin wrote something on the paper again. A tiny, bashful smile bloomed on his face.

“He’s small,” he shoved Jongdae’s foot before showing him the notebook.

“He’s…what?” the older of the two raised his brow. Jongin grinned, kind of embarrassed because he never actually told anyone the things he remembered from that night. The things he remembered about that kind guy who helped him.

“He smells like lemon and mint,” he quickly added. He would laugh out loud if he could but Jongin just settled for another set of smile as Jongdae looked like he was choking on a fish.

“You smelled him?!”

The younger nodded before rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“You couldn’t breathe for the life of you, but you could smell him at that moment…!” Jongdae gasped. “God, you- I swear you’re such a creep,”   

Jongin pursed his lips. Tapping his fingers on his laps, he contemplated for a while. If his memory was still perfectly intact, there was a boy in that man’s car back then. He wasn’t sure because it was dark and raining but Jongin watched that guy until he left. He had a kid with him, he wanted to tell Jongdae. But he was afraid that Jongdae would think that he’s lucid or something.

To be honest, Jongin wished to see the guy when he’s all healed. He wanted to thank him and maybe ask lots of question and talk without minding his throat pain. He knew his father said they would search for that person until the end of this week, but deep down Jongin hoped they could prolong the period so he could see for himself if that guy has appeared again.

“So now we can narrow our search to a small guy who smells like lemon and mint,” Jongdae’s words sounded more like a question. Jongin just showed him an awkward toothy smile, admitting how ridiculous that was. For somebody who was in an emergency situation, his senses sure worked fine.

Jongin suddenly stood up, planning to go out for some fresh air. He probably would end up going to his favorite hideout in this entire hospital again – the small garden on level 3. It was still an indoor space unlike the usual open-air kind of garden, but the walls and rooftop are all transparent so he could see everything outside while still being protected from the cold breeze.

After gesturing it to Jongdae, he grabbed a thick winter coat and made a leeway to the place he had in mind.

Kyungsoo arrived at the hospital in record time and quickly rushed to the room his son was in. He decided to use the stairs instead of the elevator since the room apparently was on the third level of the 12-floors hospital and he didn’t want to spend time waiting for it anyway.

Unlike many hospitals’ emergency staircase that looked rather intimidating and gloomy, KJ Hospital proved to be on another level. They decorated the wall around the stairs prettily with lights, murals and motivating words, mostly attempting to cheer up the patients and their families despite being in the hospital for heartbreaking reasons.

He almost bumped onto a person as he ran up the stairs. Kyungsoo flailed to the side and nearly tripped himself silly on the floor. He looked up at the guy – he was a patient, judging by the attire – and immediately apologized for not minding his way. The man’s smile was rather restricted and Kyungsoo saw the wound on his throat, probably fresh from an operation.

The silence was awkward because the guy didn’t even say anything as a reply. Kyungsoo bowed slightly before decided to just open the door to the third level and go to find Jonghoo’s room. When he was about to get pass the patient, Kyungsoo heard the man gasped. He stopped and took another look at him.

“L-lemon…” the guy’s voice was barely audible. Kyungsoo raised a brow.

“Sorry?” he tilted his head, prompting the man to repeat whatever he said earlier.

“You-” the male patient looked like he had just discovered the biggest epiphany of his life but Kyungsoo couldn’t even make out what actually was he trying to say. He exhaled deeply.

If it was any other time, Kyungsoo would love to help somebody in need. But he was here for his son and he didn’t have all the time in the world for this guy who couldn’t say anything coherent that he could understand.

In the end he just shoved his hand into the pocket of his coat, reaching for the hot pack that he always leave in there. Kyungsoo grinned apologetically.

“I’m sorry I cannot understand what you’re saying. Here,” he handed the hot pack to the man. “And I really have to go. Please find a nurse if you need help with anything, okay?” he patted the guy’s clothed arm before opening the door again and excused himself.

He could feel an intense stare from the back of his head but Kyungsoo just shrugged and quickly made his way to Jonghoo’s room. He hoped that the guy at the stairs would be fine. Maybe he really was in a dire need for help – it was a patient after all.

Chickenpox, was what the doctor told him. Kyungsoo heaved a silent breath. He knew it was not unusual for kids to be infected, but being a dad he couldn’t help to worry. Jonghoo had to stay in the hospital to avoid spreading the virus to his kindergarten friends. He would bring the boy home if he could, but Kyungsoo was not living alone and Baekhyun was also working with middle schoolers so he didn’t want to risk the contagiousness to the teacher.

Being in the same room with his former mother and father-in-law sent some uncomfortable tingles to Kyungsoo’s gut. He stayed silent most of the time when the doctor explained Jonghoo’s condition to them and even quieter after the medical personnel left.

“It’s already late, mother, father. I can stay with Jonghoo. Please take a rest,” he uttered after contemplating for a while.

The old woman just smiled ruefully, staring with adoring eyes at the man who used to be the husband to their daughter. Despite the unfortunate divorce that happened two years ago, they still think that Kyungsoo was a good man.

“How are you, Kyungsoo-yah?” her voice was soft, as it had always been. Kyungsoo never thought that they would be in this situation – a situation where he was no longer a part of their family.

They lived in the same area for years since he moved to Ilsan during middle school. His parents and Yejin’s parents had become really close especially after they found out about their kids. To think that he was living with the title Yejin’s ex-husband now, Kyungsoo honestly had never envisioned his life would take this much of a drastic turn.

Alas, he knew he should not blindly hate Yejin’s family despite whatever the woman had done to him. They had offered nothing but kindness since the first time Kyungsoo met them.

“I’m fine, mother. How about you? Have your back pain subsided?” it had been a long while since he saw them after the divorce, honestly. Kyungsoo only had himself to blame for not even contacting Yejin”s parents for months.

But who was he kidding? Between the inconsistent writing jobs and the abhorred feeling between him and his ex-wife, he had involuntarily distanced himself from her family members as well. He felt bad, but maybe it was his defensive mechanism after all. Attachment to her family would only left him with more resent as he and Yejin were driving further apart from each other.

They talked among themselves quietly, trying not to disturb Jonghoo who was sleeping peacefully albeit the subtle red patches on his skin. It must be itchy, as the boy groaned in his sleep once in a while. The elders could only hope that the medication would suppress the pain and fasten the healing process.

“Did Yejin tell you that she got engaged two weeks ago?” Mr. Jung’s question carried no harm at all, but it startled Kyungsoo no less. He gaped at that but quickly let out a small smile at the elderly in front of him.

“She hadn’t tell me, father. It’s fine, she’s probably too busy with her work anyway,” the smile didn’t reach his eyes but Kyungsoo refused to be bothered about it. They talked about Yejin’s plan with her fiancé, Dr. Choi Minki who is also a surgeon at the hospital she’s working in.

Kyungsoo’s heart clenched. True, there was no more affection towards the woman the way it used to be. But their relationship started and had been going for so many years since they were 16. Two years sure were not enough to just erase all those time and memories they shared and to pretend like they were complete strangers now.

Mr. and Mrs. Jung insisted to stay with Jonghoo and Kyungsoo had to give in. This week was Yejin’s turn with Jonghoo anyway. He smiled as he brought his body up from the plastic chair. With exhaustion plastered all over his face, body and mind, Kyungsoo finally excused himself from the room after ruffling Jonghoo’s hair softly.

As he dragged his legs across the hospital ward, it dawned on him that his life has come to this point. It was real. Up till now, it felt like he was threading between some bad dreams and bad reality and it was so hard to accept that everything was falling apart.

He lost a stable source of income, he lost his wife who used to be the love of his life, he lost the people who were family to him – the Jungs – and soon he might lose the right to be with his only son too.

When he got into his car, Kyungsoo just let the engine ran steadily without making a move to drive out of the parking lot. He leaned backward onto the head rest of the leather seat. It was over 12am now. A new day, yet he was still carrying yesterday’s worry.

Rubbing his face tiredly, the writer looked up at the sky from his seat. He wondered if it would rain for real. He then searched for the hot pack in his coat pocket as the car heater took a while to get going. Kyungsoo ran his fingers everywhere in his pocket, only to find it empty without any. He started to groan.

“Right, I gave it to that guy…” he exhaled.

Taking another look at the hospital building, Kyungsoo sighed to himself. It was such a massive place. No wonder a lot of important people opted to be treated here. He absentmindedly stared at the rooms at the highest floor of the hospital. There were balconies akin to that of fancy apartments attached to those wards.

Amidst the darkness, he saw a person at one of the balconies. It was too dark and too far to even see, but he could tell that it was a man.

“It must be nice to be that rich. You don’t have to worry about anything,” he whispered to himself. As he took in a hefty amount of oxygen, Kyungsoo decided that he should really go home and slept off all his problems. Maybe things would get better after getting a good night sleep.

Jongin hummed to himself. He had been standing on the railing of his room’s balcony, holding the small, green hot pack in his hand. The warmth from the pack made him smile a little. He stared at it again as he tried to remember the guy’s face.

“Was that you? Are you the same person who helped me that night?” he whispered silently. It had been nearly 4 days now but Jongin remembered that detail quite vividly. The lemon-mint scent.

Jongin was almost out of it after that person literally poked a hole on his throat so he couldn’t really see the face. But that scent… it made him happy. He didn’t know such small detail would stand out amongst everything else.

The smell reminded him of his mom’s backyard herb garden. It was heavenly – calming, soothing and comforting – just like the presence of the woman itself.

What are the odds of him stumbling upon that familiar scent again, years after his mom passed away? Jongin couldn’t help the giddiness and fluttering around his stomach. He really missed his mom.

“Even if you’re not here with me, you still protected me from danger, mother. Thank you, and I’ve missed you so dearly,”

Tightening his hold on the hot packet in hand, Jongin let his gaze fell upon the empty black sky. It might be winter in Seoul, but in his heart it was already spring – with the smell of lemon and mint floating in the air.

a/n: i started working recently so i've been busy i'm sorry TT but thank you for subscribing :D