Poetry is in italics :) 

This is in Seungri's POV

My heart breaks at the sight

As she held you tight

It was a Saturday, I remember, I was at the park walking aimlessly; I then saw the two of you together, it was picture perfect. Her arms wrapped around you without a care in the world, you laughing to your hearts content, both of you lost in your own bubble. It was blissful seeing you smiling, yet why do I hear my heart slowly breaking?

Reminding me of the night

I back down without a fight

She and I were friends, not as close as you and I were, but close enough. She told me she likes you, wondering maybe if you like her too, she asked me about it, “Ri, do you think he’ll be interested in me? Do you think I have a chance?” She saw the both of us together most of the time; she thought maybe we were something more, should I have said yes? Yet I can’t get myself to be selfish, I remember you showing interest in her, so I told her we were nothing but just close friends. I just can’t do that to you, I would rather feel this pain rather than knowing you’ll be mad at me. I told her to go and confess, it won’t hurt to try.

You sounded elated when you called me, “She told me she likes me!” you said, “I asked her out!” you continued. I told you I was happy for you, congratulated you, but after the call ended I broke down and cried, willing the pain in my heart to go away. “It’s better this way, he’ll be happier with her.” I told myself repeatedly as I cried myself to sleep.

I gave up the possibility

A chance of you and me

That moment I saw you happy

I let my feelings be

Third-wheeling is painful, don’t you know? It’s torture, especially if you’re in love with one of the person on that date you weren’t supposed to be in. But you asked me to join you guys on your first few dates. Because apparently, you are not yet comfortable, you said you’re nervous and a little shy; and so I did. I can’t say ‘no’ to you, and you knew that. She was fine with it too; she said whatever makes you happy, her understanding warmth your heart. Slowly but surely you started to fall deeper and so did she, the way your eyes sparkle with love and care whenever you are together, whenever you talk about her, makes me fume with jealousy. So I excuse myself, rejecting your offer to join your dates, and you were fine with it. I guess this is better, right Ji? Because I’m afraid of tainting your happiness, cause if I ever did, I won’t be able to forgive myself.

But I dare not forget

As I cried and was upset

That day we first met

On comfort and promises you had your mind set

That day we met was my most treasured memory. It was the saddest day I had when I was a child, but also my happiest (because I got to meet you). My mom left that day, you didn’t know, not until a few years later. My dad was wrecked, my brother unbelieving, and then there’s me. As a stubborn child I can’t accept reality, so I left our house to find her, to bring her back. I lost my way to the park, waited by the biggest tree, tired and broken. Reality crashed on me, snapped me out of my stubborn self, so I stayed there bawling my eyes out, crying for my mom to come back, for my dad and older brother to find me, crying because I’m tired and hungry. You saw me there, ignoring people as they look and stare, you sat in front of me, eyes filled with determination, lips full on pouting as you reached out and pat my head, telling me that everything will be alright. I looked at you in confusion, wondering why, but every question disappeared when you smiled at me, so pure and innocent. I thought maybe you’re right, everything will be fine. And everything did turn out alright. And I guess you can say right there and then you got me smitten.

For a beauty you have always been

A gift to me from heaven and within

My love for you will be kept therein

For against her I will never win

You can say I’m a coward, I’m insecure, but I longed accepted that I will never deserve you. You’re too perfect, too surreal and I’m just me. Yet I’m glad you took the time to be my friend, became your closest even; and I can live with that. I will never find the courage to confess, this feelings I’ll keep within me till the day I die, the love I have for you will just be there buried deep inside me. Because your happiness is what’s important, and she’s the one that gives you that. You love her, and she loves you just as much, maybe even more, and you deserve all the love and care the world can give, she gives you all she has, so I didn’t bother fighting a losing battle. It’s a lost battle, but as long as you’re happy. I’ll endure the pain and the sorrow.

I’LL BE FINE. TRUST ME.

~~~~~***END***~~~~~