based on that one quote from little manhattan and the interview blackpink did with owhat

listen to: In My Life" by Matt Scannell

you look at the "nation's first love" tag on your shirt and it all comes back in flashes. 

suddenly you're 15 again, young and naive of how the world worked and beside you is 14 year old lisa manoban, incredibly short hair and chubby cheeks,  smiling as she tries to teach you the choreography of a dance that you found a little bit too hard for you slowly. her korean is a bit off as she tries to instruct you where your legs are supposed to go and you laugh because she atleast tries to make an effort. you know the other girls would rather fall off a cliff than teach you but lisa does, and you knew even then that she was different. 

***

5 years later and its the night before your debut stage. you're awake at 2 am and lisa is right there by your side on the bed, looking up at the ceiling with you. her hair's gotten longer and she's grown so much taller through the years but in your mind she's still that small boyish girl from thailand, still your shy bestfriend. 

she looks at you, hands placed firmly on her belly as she tries to figure out what you're thinking. you both couldn't sleep, and instead of suffering apart, lisa had decided to lay down with you and suffer together. 

"im nervous." she says out loud and you chuckle in the darkness. 

"yeah, me too lis." you look back at her and lisa's wide doe eyes are looking at you in excitement and fright. something inside you stirs.

"we'll just get it over with and see what happens."

you hear her sigh as she looks back at the ceiling, "im just really glad i get to do this with you jennie unnie, i.. i can't imagine doing this without you."

something stirs again and you think the butterflies in your stomach are due to the uncertainty of tomorrow's performance when all along you should have realized the truth, but you're young and unaware so you say, "i can't imagine doing this without you too," and leave it at that. 

***

you think it's fascinating how different lisa is on and off stage. 

when you're performing lisa is a storm. a hurricane that can't be tamed. she is a whirlwind of oozing charisma and precise motion. every mark is hit, every twirl is perfect, every movement is sharp. onstage she transforms completely and even though it's been years, you're still mesmerized every single time. the second you get offstage she turns back into your labrador bestfriend. her posture slouches and she becomes a little bit more reserved but she's still golden in your eyes anyway. 

***

your best experience abroad is going to thailand with lisa.  

when the younger girl first proposed the idea you think its  crazy considering your schedule, but in the end it works out and soon enough, you're in thailand with the craziest girl in the world. your mother had come but she was also doing some shopping of her own with lisa's mom, leaving the both of you in the middle of a facy restaurant you forgot the name of, at the top of a very tall building. 

its funny because the whole candlelight dinner thing makes you two look like a couple, lisa jokes about it as she reads the menu aloud even though she knows you're not familiar with any of the dishes in it.

"so what do you want unnie?" lisa lowers the menu so only her eyes are showing, she wiggles her eyebrows because she's a tease and you throw your napkin at her. 

"i don't know, you choose."

"you're no fun." she sticks her tongue out while you roll your eyes because you're jennie and lisa, and that's what jennie and lisa do. 

"oh shut up and find me something to eat." you say trying to act annoyed, lisa brushes you off, wide smirk never leaving her face. 

"i really appreciate you being here unnie." she suddenly says seriously. you look up at her and think of how beautiful she looks with