Himchan looked out of the window to the night sky and sighed as he watched the rain shower the city. It was like the sky knew exactly what Himchan was feeling tonight and wept alongside him. It was midnight and he sat on the couch in the dark in his apartment, crying. This wasn't exactly how he expected his day to end; he was supposed to be in the arms of the man he loved, celebrating their anniversary but here he was all alone.

He brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them tight before resting his head on them. He hated himself for ending up like this; crying for a man. He had told himself that he would never cry over a man that he was dating but here he was, crying over a man that he was in love with; a man that recently seemed to be more distant from him.

Ever since Yongguk had gotten an internship with an entertainment company, he had less and less time for Himchan and Himchan felt as if he was losing Yongguk. It was their final year of school and Himchan understood just how busy Yongguk was with everything that was going on with school and the internship. He was just as busy as Yongguk with his classes, helping out at his family's restaurant and his part-time modeling job but despite all that, he still made time to be with Yongguk.

It just seemed like Yongguk didn't have time for him anymore.

Himchan wiped his eyes when he heard the front door open. He didn't want Yongguk to find him like this, crying in the dark. He hid his tissue in his pocket when Yongguk turned the lights on.

“Himchan? What are you doing in the dark like this?” Yongguk asked when he spotted his boyfriend on the couch.

“Nothing. I just lost track of time.” Himchan stood up from the couch, his head hung low so that Yongguk couldn't see his red puffy eyes. Himchan tried to make his way to the bathroom so that he could wash any evidence of him crying away but Yongguk stopped him when he reached out and grabbed his arm.

“Hey, what's wrong?” Yongguk asked.

“Nothing's wrong. I just need to go to the bathroom.” Himchan still faced away from his boyfriend.

“Don't lie to me. I know there's something wrong.” Yongguk turned Himchan around and was met with a red, puffy eyed Himchan staring back at him. “Have you been crying?”

Himchan closed his eyes and sighed. “Yongguk, what's today?”

“It's Satur- . I forgot our anniversary dinner.” Yongguk cupped Himchan's face. “Channie, I'm so sorry. I got so caught up with work at the studio that I lost track of time.”

“I canceled a gig for tonight just so I could be with you for our anniversary.” Himchan said.

“I know and I did tell you that I was going to get home early so that we could celebrate. This is completely my fault. I'm so sorry.” Yongguk kissed Himchan, who didn't kiss him back. “Can I make this up to you? I'll heat up the food you made and we can have a late dinner.”

Himchan removed himself from Yongguk's hold and lowered his head. “I'm not hungry. You can eat if you want. I'm going to bed.” He murmured before he walked into their bedroom and shut the door.

******

Himchan groaned as his professor assigned the class a five thousand word minimum essay about how traditional music influences the music of today, that's due in a week. It was just another essay added to the numbers of other papers he had to write for his other classes and not to mention the final projects he needed to start for all of the classes that had to do with his majors. When they say that the final year of college was a grueling one, they weren't kidding. Himchan wasn't sure just how he was going to get all of this done in time and let's not mention the fact the he had twice the workload being that he was getting a double major.

Himchan packed up his things when the professor dismissed them. He checked his phone for the time and if he received an messages. Yongguk hadn't answered his text and if Himchan were to guess, it'll take Yongguk a couple more hours for him to answer back. Himchan walked out of the traditional music building; if he wanted to get a cup of coffee that he was in dire need of and make it to his next class in time, he needed to step on it.

“Himchan, wait up!” His friend Hara ran up to him. “Coffee run before class?”

“You know it.” Himchan smiled.

“Last one there buys.” Hara said before she started to run to the coffee cart that was on the other side of the courtyard.

Himchan chased after her. He didn't mind the run being that he needed to lose weight for the photo shoot he had scheduled for this weekend. He did however mind losing to his friend again. He paid for both of their coffees before they both made their way to the class they were both in. The frown on Himchan's face when he checked the text that came in didn't go missed by Hara.

“What's up?” Hara asked before taking a drink of her iced coffee.

“I asked Yongguk if he wanted to meet up for lunch at the cafeteria after I got out of class but he can't. It's the only time he can get together with Minhyuk to work on their final project.” Himchan sighed.

“Ugh, that .” Hara said as they walked into class. “Are you guys still playing the 'let's find time' game?”

“I'm trying to see him as much as I can but with our schedules being packed the way they are it's getting really hard.” Himchan sat in one of the desks in the back, Hara sitting in one next to him. “I'll just skip lunch and join him in the studio.”

“He's okay with that?” Hara asked as she took out her books from her bag.

“Yeah, I do it all the time.”

Himchan sat through his class trying his hardest not to constantly check on the time. He needed to pay attention to the lecture going on in front of him, as dull and uninteresting it was. If he paid attention, then maybe, just maybe, time will fly by. Unfortunately his six shot iced americano wasn't strong enough to keep his mind focused on the lecture. He zoned in and out so he only got bits and pieces of the lecture. He hoped that Hara was actually paying attention and took notes that he could copy.

The moment the professor dismissed them, he waved Hara goodbye before making his way to the modern music building were the mock studios were located. He knew exactly where they were and which one was Yongguk's favorite one, being that he would join Yongguk whenever his boyfriend was working in it. Himchan normally just sat on the couch in the back with his laptop out, working on some assignment for one of his classes.

He quietly slipped into the studio that Yongguk normally used hoping to see his boyfriend but to his disappointment, Yongguk was not there. Minhyuk sat in front of the switch table, playing a melody that he had been working on.

“Yongguk's not here.” Minhyuk told Himchan, knowing exactly why Himchan was there.

“What do you mean he's not here? He told me that this was the only time that you two could work on your project.” Himchan was confused as to why Yongguk would lie to him like that.

“Yeah, we were working on it but he got a call and had to leave. We're gonna try to reschedule for tomorrow.” Minhyuk informed him.

“Oh. Sorry to bother you then.” Himchan said before leaving the studio. He hoped that he'd be able to see Yongguk later tonight. That is, if Yongguk even came home.

******
 

Hey, am I gonna see you today?
11:00 AM

idk
2:30 PM

You didn't come home again last night.
You spent the night at the studio, didn't you?
2:31 PM

i'm sorry
it's been crazy here
3:30 PM

i'll make it up to you
how about dinner tonight at that one pork belly place you like
8?
6:23 PM

It's a date. :)
6:25 PM

Yongguk I'm here. Where are you?
8:15 PM

Are you on your way?
8:17 PM

Yongguk?
8:30 PM

Are you seriously not coming?
8:31 PM

Fine. Don't come.
I'm drinking and eating by myself.
I'm used to it by now.
8:53 PM

Himchan stared at the conversation he had with Yongguk earlier that day before he slammed his phone on the table. He sat by himself in front of an open barbecue pit with pork belly sizzling on the grill and side dishes scattered on the table. It had been over a hour now of Himchan waiting for his boyfriend to arrive at the restaurant they both agreed on with no sign of whether or not he was on his way. Himchan had ordered food and drinks for them both the moment he got there but with Yongguk not showing up, he was eating and drinking for the both of them. He knew this was strictly against his diet but at the moment he couldn't give two s about his goddamn diet. He'll just starve himself tomorrow to make up for it.

“Ahjumma! Another bottle of soju!” Himchan yelled.

“Don't you think you've had too much to drink, pretty boy?” An older man from another table said as his friends looked on.

“Ahjussi, how 'bout you mind your own business?” Despite the older man being right, he didn't need someone to tell him that he could no longer drink his feelings away. The soju was helping numb the pain and heartbreak he was feeling.

“Kids.” The older man clicked his tongue before turning back to his group of friends. “No respect.”

Himchan thanked the woman that placed the bottle of soju on his table before stuffing another piece of cooked pork belly in his mouth. He opened the bottle of soju and poured himself a shot before holding it up in the air.

“To my jerk of a boyfriend for standing me up yet again.” Himchan said before drinking the shot in one go. He started to pour himself another shot when he heard his name. He looked up to a familiar face and exhaled harshly before slamming the bottle of soju on the table. “You're the last person I want to see. I'm mad at the other one that wears your face.”

Despite being too drunk to stand straight or even walk without falling, Himchan could still tell the Bang twins apart.

Yongnam sighed before sitting down at Himchan's table. “What did my twin do now?”

“More like what he didn't do.” Himchan took another shot. “He stood me up. Again!”

Yongnam grabbed the shot glass from Himchan's hand before Himchan could pour more soju. “I think you've had enough.”

“I think you need to shut the up and go back to wherever you came from. And take that of a brother with you!” Himchan said before drinking straight from the bottle of soju.

“Yeah, you need to stop.” Yongnam said as he reached to grab the bottle from Himchan's hand.

Himchan opened his mouth to protest Yongnam taking the bottle from him but paused when he felt a surge of nausea from all the alcohol he just drank mixed with the food that he gorged on hit him head on. “I think I'm gonna throw up.” He groaned.

“Ahjumma, check!” Yongnam yelled out as he pulled out his wallet, giving the older woman more than enough to cover Himchan's bill.

Yongnam helped Himchan up to his feet and escorted him outside, hoping that the air would stop the urge to vomit. Himchan quickly ran to the trash can on the street and emptied all of the contents in this stomach into it. Yongnam rubbed Himchan's back as his brother's boyfriend continued to vomit.

“Come on, let's get you home.” Yongnam said when Himchan finally stopped vomiting.

Yongnam accompanied Himchan back to Himchan's apartment because there was no way that Yongnam could let Himchan go by himself in the state he was in. The taxi ride had been a silent one as Himchan fell asleep the moment he got in the car. Yongnam quietly and out of Himchan's eye line, texted Yongguk asking his twin where he was exactly but leaving out that Himchan had gotten wasted because of him and was now sleeping on his shoulder. He wanted an explanation from Yongguk first. This wasn't like his twin at all.

He didn't get a response when the taxi stopped right in front of the apartment building. He paid the fare and helped a sleepy and drunk Himchan out of the car. He put Himchan on his back and carried him up to the apartment, only putting Himchan down when he was in Himchan's room. He helped Himchan with his shoes and laid him down; Himchan was wide awake now, his face full of sorrow and exhaustion.

“I don't think I can do this anymore, Nammie.” Himchan murmured, tears starting pool in his eyes.

“Do what?” Yongnam sat down on the bed.

He had never seen Himchan in this kind of state before. Was there really a problem between Himchan and Yongguk that caused Himchan to be like this? The last time he had talked to his twin, Yongguk told him that everything was fine between the two of them. That they were still going strong despite how busy their schedules had gotten. Looking at Himchan now, that didn't seem to be the case anymore.

“Himchan, what's going on?” He asked.

“It's Yongguk,” Himchan let out a shaky breath, tears following. “I don't think he loves me anymore.”

“Of course Yongguk loves you, Himchan. Why would you think that?”

“He doesn't have time for me anymore. I hardly see him and if I do, I'm lucky that its for more than five minutes. I try to set up dates to see him but he never shows up. He says that it's because of the internship but I don't know if that's the only reason. What if he's cheating on me?”

Himchan had been thinking that for some time now. Despite Yongguk being busy with this internship and school, he should make time for Himchan just like Himchan makes time for him, but Yongguk wasn't. He would come home very late at night when Himchan was already asleep or not come home at all. Then there were the empty promises that Yongguk would tell him about making time to see him and the dates he would set up only to forget them. Yongguk was barely responding to his texts and when Himchan would call, Yongguk wouldn't answer saying that he can't take calls while he's in the studio or that he's in class. It was easy for Himchan to think that Yongguk had found someone else to spend his time with besides him. He was just scared at the possibility of it being true.

“Yongguk would never do something like that. That's just not the person that he is, you know that.” Yongnam knows his twin better than anyone else; it was just the perks of being a twin, they often shared the same mind. The connection between them was strong so Yongnam knows that Yongguk isn't the type of person to cheat and keep secrets. There had to be something else going on.

“You would say that.” Himchan felt foolish to think that Yongnam would understand, let alone take his side. If he were sober, he wouldn't have said anything and kept it all to himself like he's been doing for a while but the alcohol was making it easier for him to say what was weighing on his heart.

“Look. I'm the first to call Yongguk out on his bull. Don't think I'm taking sides because he's my brother. I like you Himchan. You're good for Yongguk, you inspire him and he's the happiest I've seen him. No one else has ever done that. You two are good together, anyone can see it. Yongguk,” Yongnam paused. “He can be absorbed in his work. He's always been like that but I completely understand how you feel. You miss him and you want nothing more than to be with him. You want the love and affection that you used to get. The internship and school is no excuse for him to neglect you the way he is.”

Himchan reached out and grabbed Yongnam's hand. “You're a good friend, Nammie.”

“I'll support you in whatever you decide to do, Himchan. If you break it off, I'll understand. Just give him one last chance?” Yongnam asked.

“I don't know just how many more last chances I can give him. I've given him more than enough.” Himchan removed his hand from Yongnam's. “I have a photo shoot in Japan in a couple of weeks during break. It's only going to be for a couple of days but I plan to stay a little longer to clear my head and think things over. I've already told Yongguk and I'm pretty sure that he already forgot so I'll have to remind him again before I leave. If he doesn't notice that I'm gone, then there's no point in coming back to him.”

“Himchan...” Yongnam wanted to say something but he didn't know what.

Himchan had a point; if Yongguk doesn't notice that Himchan is gone for a week then why would Himchan come back to this relationship? Yongnam meant what he said about supporting Himchan's decision. He could already tell that this was taking a toll on Himchan; it was very noticeable that he lost a lot of weight since the last time he had seen him, his cheeks were starting to look sunken in and his under eye circles were getting darker.

Yongnam left when Himchan told him that he wanted to be alone. Once Yongnam was outside of the apartment building he called his brother. Yongguk didn't answer his text from earlier which had become the new normal when it came to his twin. Himchan was right though, ever since Yongguk started this internship he had become more flaky and harder to get a hold of. When Yongguk didn't answer the first time, Yongnam dialed again.

“Right now is not a good time.” Yongguk said the moment he answered.

“So you don't even have time for your twin?” Yongnam huffed in disbelief.

“No. I don't.” Annoyance could be heard in Yongguk's voice.

“What if it was an emergency? Would you have time for me then?”

“Is it an emergency?”

“It depends on your definition of emergency.”

Yongguk sighed in frustration. “Can't you just text me?”

Yongnam wanted nothing more than to give Yongguk a piece of his mind but for some reason, he didn't. He could have easily warned his twin that he was on the verge of losing Himchan but Yongguk needed to learn a lesson. He was taking this internship way too seriously. Yongnam understood just how important this internship was for his twin being that Yongnam himself was also in an internship program for his major. Their internships could open the door for their future dream jobs but what good is having a dream job if you isolate yourself from the people that love you? Not only was he isolating Himchan, but his mother, Natasha and himself also didn't seem to fit into Yongguk's schedule.

It made Yongnam's blood boil. “Yeah...I'll text you.”

“Okay. Cool.” Was all Yongguk said before hanging up.

“You idiot. You're on the verge of losing Himchan and you don't even know it.” Yongnam said as he looked down at his phone. “Will it be worth it in the end?”

Finally!  I've gotten around to writing this prequel I said I would!  It only took me 5 billion years to do it...

I'm working on the 2nd chapter already so it shouldn't be too long to update!

If you haven't read Life As We Know It, then go check it out and subscribe to that and subscribe to this one too!  Also upvote and leave me your lovely comments!

Til next time lovelies~