Suho quickly dropped himself to the couch on their hotel room once he got there. He was tired for the night-- physically, and emotionally. He didn't know what to think, or to feel; tonight was just a play of emotions. He closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep, yet to no avail. Thoughts still crawl up his mind, sending him shivers, of fear, of disappointment, of sadness, he really did not know. It was wrong to be greedy and he knew it-- but he also knew that he worked harder this time around, his teammates, his comrades, heck, his brothers worked hard this year. In the end he knew, that maybe it wasn't really fear of any competition, not really sadness about the outcome, but just mere disappointment--for himself. He felt he has failed his brothers; he felt that he didn't lead them better. Hot tears fell down his face, eyes kept closed, wanting to just end tonight and wake up tomorrow again, and go back to doing what he loves to do-- to perform with s.

     "Junmyeon hyung..?"

     Suho was shocked by the call of his name; he thought they all went back to their rooms to sleep. He kept his eyes closed to pretend he was sleeping.

     "Junmyeon hyung.. are you crying..?" It was Sehun, judging from his voice. He hears light footsteps and feels Sehun settle himself on the floor by the couch. "We did well tonight, hyung," Sehun said, despite him pretending not to hear. "We did it again, for the 5th year this time around. We can do it again next year, because we have you. Thank you, hyung.." He peeked a little bit and saw Sehun staring at the floor, talking to himself. "I hope you're not this hard on yourself."

     More tears fell from his closed eyes. He knew Sehun was quite mature when the time calls for it, but he never knew that the maknae's words could hit him like this. He was touched and at the same time comforted by the thought that he is not alone in this, that yes, he is a leader, but he's more than that to them. He is their support, as they are his.

     "Hyung, you cannot pretend to sleep yet still cry like that. Your tears are falling, still."

     It made Suho giggle and finally open his eyes. "Thanks, Sehun. I'll be sure to remember that," he says, then he hears the sliding door, leading to the balcony, open and close. His view blocked by the backrest of the couch, he looks at Sehun, as if asking who it was.

     "Baekhyun hyung," he responded, eyes showing a bit of worry.

     Suho sits up and pats Sehun on the shoulder, "Get yourself some rest. I'll take care of it."

    Sehun nods and goes to his room, and Suho stood up, following Baekhyun to the balcony. He sees him sitting by the chair there, staring at the sky, a can of beer on his hand, and a few more unopened cans by the table. "Hey, mind if I..?" Suho gestured towards the beer, and Baekhyun simply nodded, and looked back up. Suho sat on the chair beside Baekhyun's, and looked at the sky himself. The stars were wonderful, in a comforting way, and Baekhyun always liked looking at the sky when he's depressed. He didn't say anything, and instead, waited for Baekhyun to open up.

    After a few minutes of silence, other than the sound of gulping of beer, Baekhyun finally spoke. "Have you ever felt like... like you know you're out there.. but no one seems to notice..? I don't know.. Like stars maybe. Every single one of them is shining, yet, not all of them is noticeable..."

     Suho looks at Baekhyun, but Baekhyun just stared at the sky, tears falling from his eyes. "You see that star?" He points at one star, which looks dimmer than the others. "I'm like that star. Fading.." Baekhyun takes a sip of his beer. "I know it. We all have our time to shine the brightest. And I've found that my light already shone at its best, and is now just, becoming obsolete.."

    He wipes his tears, but never averts his gaze from the star. "But it's okay. I'm not afraid of fading away... All I am scared of is.. that those that seemed to look up at me, would be disappointed not to find me there anymore.." He laughs bitterly. "The reason I don't want to fade away is not because I loved being the brightest.. but because I wanted to become their light.. Ironic as it sounds.." He takes another sip but his can was empty, so he opened another can. "It's not that I want to be recognized, but it's just so that those who already do see me, won't be disappointed when they do.." He finally sighs and wipes more of his tears.

     Suho sighed as well, looking at Baekhyun. "You know what's so special about your star? It's that, miles and miles away, it's already consumed and dead-- no longer carrying light. Yet, it's legacy still remained visible here on Earth, visible to the people who believed that there was once a star that lived and shined so beautifully. You are that, Baekhyun. We are that star. We will strive hard, and do better, so those people who believe that we are one big shining star that existed in their lifetime, will get to see us glow. That's our legacy. If the time comes that we're not on our brightest, or if it is this time already-- then we have to put faith that those people who still see us, see us as a part of their wonderful night sky. That's us, Baekhyun. I know you've tried hard and those people know it. You don't have to convince them otherwise. Okay?"

     Baekhyun finally looks at him with a slight smile. "Thank you, hyung.." Suho smiles, stands up, and gives Baekhyun a pat on the shoulder. "Don't drink too much, we have another big day tomorrow."

     Suho retreats back to the room, with silent tears.

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An appreciation note for EXO who surpassed many criticisms and issues in 2017 and early of 2018, especially to my bias Baekhyun, you guys are my light. The achievements for the first half of the year only (Dubai Fountain show, Olympics, and the more recent FIFA and Burj Khalifa projection) just proves that you guys are the best out there, in this era, and maybe in all other eras. Come what may EXO, we EXO-Ls are here for you to support and love you.

And another appreciation post for Baekhyun's achievement in Prive. He sells out everything. You rich son of a . HAHA kidding. Love you Baek! :)