“Unnie!” a voice called as a small chunk of bread hits her forehead, bringing her back to reality.

“Yah! Park Sooyoung! Stop wasting food” the brunette beside her gave the younger one a very stern look.

“Sorry, what was that?” the called one asked as she fixates her gaze with almost everyone on the table.

“You were dozing off, Unnie. Irene Unnie mentioned you were not eating” the youngest of the five mentioned bringing her spoonful of rice up to “Whipsh ishp sherry pod, knowshing poo”

“Kim Yerim” the eldest one finally spoke up, giving that strict motherly look

The youngest one, simply held up a peace sign before chewing the food in

“Sorry guys, I was just thinking about something” Seulgi finally spoke up, also bringing a spoonful of rice to her lips but unlike Yeri, she didn’t speak until she swallowed all, of course in fear that the older girl would also shoot daggers at her.

“We know Seul,” Wendy, placed a had on her shoulder, from where I sat yesterday I saw you furiously typing. Was that for your new show?”

That’s when they remembered that Seulgi is now filming for her new variety show ‘Idol Drama Operation Team’

“How’s it going, Seulgi?” Irene asked

She stared blankly at Irene, still many things in mind after the discussion she had with her team. She tried to absorb the elder’s question as she tries to digest what they agreed to do as per their drama’s team. Then it hit her.

“Unnie, do you happen to know where my old diary is?” She asked not bothering to answer the elder’s question.

“N-Ne, isn’t it that you keep it in the draw box under your bed?” Irene blinked, slightly caught off guard with the younger’s question.

Seulgi scooped all the rice in her bowl and stuffed it into before following it some meat and vegetables. She gulped down her glass full of water before immediately standing up “Thank you for the meal, I’ll be in my room if you need me”

And with that she rushed to her shared room with Wendy. Letting the remaining four to catch up with what just happened

“Y-Yah! Don’t make a mess up there! I just finished doing vacuum up there!” Wendy yelled from where she’s seated and all she heard was a very faint ‘yes’ form the other girl.

..

With Irene’s description in mind, she lifted her comforter up, revealing shoeboxes, some empty, some with her old shoes from back when she was still a trainee. Seeing all her archived treasures gave her a very quick flashback, just what she needed to write her own share for the script. She pulled the boxes one by one, stacking them atop one another, her eyes finally caught a glimpse of her old gray storage box. She reached for it, hoping that the dust from under her bed does not stick to her white shirt. Once the box has been pulled out she made sure to following Wendy’s instructions, she tried her best to place everything back to where she got them. Making sure her shoeboxes fit just like how it looked like when she lifted her comforter.

Still sitting on floor, she reached for the tissue box with all the stretching she could do, to her dismay, she admitted that she is not as flexible as Irene nor as diligent as Wendy. Being a lazy person that she is, she instead searched for old piles of papers and used it to (Slightly) clean her hands.

She opened the box and it was as if she were Pandora, releasing all chaos to the world. With a very quick glimpse she saw all her memories inside that box, back when she was just Kang Seulgi, a local nobody, training, hoping to be an idol. That box contained 7 years of her life, back before she was known internationally as “Red Velvet’s Seulgi”, back before she got the title “Charismatic Bear”, this old dusted box contained Kang Seulgi. The Kang Seulgi that would practice endlessly just to perfect her steps, the Kang Seulgi that would spend time alone just to practice her singing, the Kang Seulgi that would cry at night letting the dark and the comforts of her pillow and blank take away the pain, the doubt and the negativity away.

Tears welled up and they threat to spill as she picked up a stack pictures, the first one showing Seulgi at a tender age if 13, her first day with the other trainees. Being bubbly that she is, she became friends with a lot of them, but sadly, none of the faces in that picture are now in the same industry as hers. She remembered how some of them would get cut off or some of them would leave because it’s quite unbearable.

Second photo shows a year after, it was a picture with the other trainees but this time she sees recognizable faces. She was with Kai, Krystal and Sulli, and a few more faces, like the ones in the first picture, are no longer with her. She felt happy knowing that at least in this one, she identifies familiar faces, yet a slight tinge in her heart was felt knowing some years after these pictures were taken she would be alone. Her friends become her Sunbaes, she remembered how she masked the betrayed feeling when Kai told her that they will be debuting. He deserved it, but she can’t help but question the others; trained for a year? Trained for two years? She has been here for four years and she hasn’t gotten anything yet. She felt cheated, she felt betrayed.

She placed the pictures down, she stood up finally to reach for the tissue. She reached for her black jacket hanging just behind the door and wore it, pulling the hood up her head. She inhaled deeply letting the air circulate her lungs for a while, hoping that holding her breath would shun away her thoughts about the past. She can’t let negativity eat her up, she can’t write negative things in her script. She went to the bathroom to wash her face and wash her hands before marching down the stairs to grab a glass of water. A cold splash of liquid would surely, expand her seemingly narrowing throat. She made sure to keep her head down, not wanting her members to see her reddening nose.

Before climbing back, she glanced at the four girls, and it made her realize many things. If she gave up, she wouldn’t have met Irene, she thought that in the circumstance that would have debuted with Sulli and Krystal, she wouldn’t have a very understanding best friend that goes with the name Wendy and if she debuted same time with Kai maybe she wouldn’t have had two younger kids making her smile whenever she feels down. Leaving the dark room made her feel better knowing the bright outside, filled with her member’s laughter brought her back to her current reality.

Focusing in her agenda, she reached for the item she was supposed to get from the very beginning, her green notebook that served as her bestfriend before Wendy came along. She flipped through the pages, not really reading, just scanning through the things she drew and some scribble she wrote here and there.  Her eyes landed on one page, something in her made her stop and read that very page. Right there and then, the screws on Seulgi’s mind started turning, producing enough energy to light the bulb atop her head.

“Seulgi-yaaaaah” Wendy announced her arrival by peaking through the door, not wanting to disturb her filming with her passing through.

“Neee?” She looked back.

“Joy and Yeri went out, they bought some chappssaltteok” She let herself in, noticing that Seulgi hasn’t started doing her selfcam just yet “I was brought you some just in case you wanted some”

The sight of food never fails to make Seulgi happy “Waaaaah! Thank you, Wan-ah”

Wendy placed the said snack on her table before going to her bed “Can I stay here? Joy and Yeri are now arguing which show to watch, Irene Unnie left us a few minutes ago. I guess she gave up on those two already”

“Sure thing! It’s already 3:28, I better start now” She positioned the camera and Wendy grabbed on of her books to keep her busy while Seulgi creates her script.

Seulgi clicked the record button and she opened with a greeting saying “Hello, I’m screenwriter Seulgi”

“Waaaah! Chak chak chak” Wendy, hearing her bestfriend introduce herself differently felt very happy that she wasn’t able to contain herself.

(A/N: Please watch Idol Drama Operation Team – Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ew3_TMDPjI then skip to 12:42 and 19:09 for the SeulDy Scene)

..

A/N: Imma stop here for now since I've been up since 6AM just to finish this. I'll update again probably in the afternoon.

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