It was hard, actually. To be the most dependable one. To be the one taking care if the rest. To be the most emotionally strong and stable. To be the source of strength of everyone. To be the one who will lift them up when they’re down. To be the one who is always strong. It’s hard. Any maybe that’s why right after debuting, Jeongyeon had already figured out that she won’t be showing much softness anymore.

It was okay. At first. Taking care of everyone was not a burden for her. No, actually, it was something she loved doing. From making sure Nayeon is not bawling her eyes out to reminding Tzuyu about the stuff she needs to bring. It was all okay for Jeongyeon. Even though at times, the members think that she’s a bit of a nagger, she shrugs it off and continues to do her job.

Being the mom figure of the group is not an easy task. First, Jeongyeon mediates every argument the girls will have. And mostly it’s about the food they will order. She needs to make sure that every request is put into consideration and that there will be no hard feelings after. Second is making sure that every member is healthy. Often times, she reminds Dahyun to stop eating ramen every single time. Reminding, or rather forcing, Momo to drink water because she needs to be hydrated and soda is not a healthy option. And then making sure Mina does not rot in her bed, which can actually happen because it’s Mina. Lastly, Jeongyeon needs to be everyone’s backbone. When Nayeon is crying, she will wipe her tears. When Jihyo is doubting herself, she will reassure the younger girl about her capabilities. When Momo is not feeling well, she will take care of her roommate. When Sana’s down, she’ll make sure that she’ll lift her up. Everything negative, she transforms into positive.

Jeongyeon is best at what she does. And that’s exactly what bothers her. She’s everyone’s source of strength. She helps everyone. She fixes everyone.

But who will fix me?

It was a difficult question to answer. Jeongyeon had been the strongest among them since debut days and she only broke her walls once. It was when she got injured at Law of the Jungle. She felt like she became a burden. She couldn’t clean the dorm, she carry Momo when the latter is scared. She couldn’t run to the convenience store to buy them food when there’s no more stock left. She felt useless. And so when she completely recovered, she built her walls bigger than the last time. Stronger than before. And no one had seen her weak since then.

A knock disturbs Jeongyeon’s trail of worries. “Come in,” she says. The door creeks and Chaeyoung’s head pops in.

“Unnie...” the younger girl says. She gestures her hand for Chaeyoung to come in.

She was sitting on the bed while Momo was on the floor, scrolling through her phone, “Why, Chae? You need something?”

The younger girl sits beside her and hugs Jeongyeon, “I’m sad, Unnie.”

“Why?” she wraps her arms around Chaeyoung and pats her head. This is exactly why she never lets her guard down. If she’s weak, from whom will the girls get strength from?

“I can’t seem to write good songs these days,” Chaeyoung answers. Jeongyeon sighs and looks up the ceiling, “I don’t know what to do.”

Momo looks at the two and then meets Jeongyeon’s eyes.

If there is one thing that somehow scares Jeongyeon, it’s Momo. She feels as if though Momo can see through her. Like she’s an open book and that scares her. She doesn’t like being read by other people. Nayeon and Jihyo can’t see through her walls and they’ve been friends long before Momo even came. So how come Momo can see through her? And the worse, she does not say anything. Momo will just look at her and then keep quiet.

Can yo