I'm really sorry for the late post 

Anyway, it's just a simple story that i made to explain their relationship after what happened in their previous story.

i hope everyone could enjoy this too.

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People called it slump, but Yeri decide to called it a disease, because it’s something she really hates and bothering her. Similar thing happened before she met Jungkook, even though that one is more severe and she was acting like a dramaqueen while battling it, but still..it’s similar.

Yeri is just unhappy with everything, her career, her talent, her life, people around her, her behaviour, she completely dislike the world. Even though, good for her Jungkook is willing to stay with her as a punching bag just like what he promised back when their friendship started in Bali.

“Since I came to see you today, I can not meet you anymore until next month.” That’s what Jungkook said when Yeri is opening her newest apartment’s door to him. Her parent give this small and not so expensive apartment last week, Yeri has been asked for this as a graduation gift for one year, and they finally granted her wish.

“To be fair, I never asked you to come. Did I ever ask you to abandoned your work for a meet up?  Nope. It’s what a girlfriend or a wife do. And I’m not both for you. You came here because of your own will.”

Jungkook let a little laugh when he heard that. Yeri is definitely need her punching bag, he knows it. It’s also his first time here, Yeri does tell him about this place when she first received it. She’s not actually live here, she just used it as some basecamp for herself, and now for him too.

“You’re right, I came here because of my own will.” Jungkook is now looking around the living room and setting up his notebook and a few equipments for video editing on its table.He’s in the middle of working on something when Yeri telling him that she’s going to turning off her phone for the rest of the weekend. It’s not hard to know something is not right with that, So here he is, doing work while entertaining Kim Yeri and her moody self. Totally easy.

“Yerim-ssi!!!” Yeri can heard that scream from the living room. She’s in the middle of taking one huge cup of ice cream when Jungkook is calling her.

“Let me see your face. When was the last time I saw you again?”

Jungkook can see that Yeri is totally out of focus. It’s 5 PM in the afternoon, and she’s still wearing her pajamas. She let her long hair loose under an oversized hoodie with BTS CREW label printed on the back. It was his.

“10 years ago, right?” He asked that while holding her face and staring at it for a while. Yeri looks confused, he just give her a smile.

“The last time I saw you? With that eye bag and dark circle people will assume that you’re 10 years older than me.”

Yeri is not really amused by him and his words, so she land a quick punch on his shoulder and left him after.

“Go get me one of those.” He told Yeri to bring him ice cream too, while still laughing at her.

It’s probably sounds bad, but Jungkook doesn’t really hate this side of Yeri. She’s amusing. Well if he’s in a good condition like today facing this kind of Yeri can be fun. But when he also in a bad mood, they will just ended up fighting and someone will ended up crying, it was happened 3 times before, he cried once, and Yeri cried twice.

***

Yeri is doing nothing and just handling the ice cream to Jungkook who is now already busy with his work. She choose to sit on the couch next to him while eating her ice cream.

“What is it?” Yeri is not actually curious about his work, she’s just asking because it’s really rude to not talking to Jungkook at all after he spare some time to stay with her like this.

“A vlog. Someone from the company give me a mission to do some shooting and editing for this.”

“Can I watch?”

“It’s still not finished, but sure, go ahead.” Jungkook makes a room for Yeri to sit beside him and giving her the earphone.

“It’s your hyungs.” Yeri pointing her hand to the screen, It’s BTS.

“Of course it is, they’re my forever model. Who else can be my model instead of them?”

Yeri is nodding her head, while focusing to the video. It’s bad enough that she is acting annoying to other people, but right now she’s also being sensitive, because she’s started to get teary eye while watching the vlog. I mean, it’s BTS, she saw them often and Jungkook talks about them all the time, it’s not like they’re disbanding, dead, or kidnapped by alien, but why she needs to cry, watching them roaming around the street while laughing and play with each other like this, Jungkook is not even in the footages.

“They looks so happy.”

“Yeah..it was when we…” Jungkook stopped his words right away when he realized that Yeri is in the middle of wiping her tears.

“" I’m fine, you don’t need to come, nothing is happened"..that’s what you told me, Everything is a lie, then?” Yeri can’t help but crying even harder when Jungkook pulls her head into his embrace and patting it a few times. She doesn’t even know why she’s so upset today.

“It’s better to cry when there’s people around you, because you’ll get embarrassed and stop faster than when you cry alone.” He’s so wrong on that, Yeri has been staying here all day but not even once she shed tears like this, but as soon as Jungkook here..she doesn’t know what is happening but she appearently has tears to pour, lots of it.

“Let’s go, get you a glass of water.”

 Usually people will just go get water for someone who is crying hard by themselves, without taking the crying person with them, but Jungkook doesn’t want to do that, he doesn’t want to let Yeri go when she’s being like this, not even for a few seconds for  taking a glass of water from the kitchen. He wants her to be on his watch when this happened, because honestly he never do lots of thing for Yeri, they don’t actually meet each other often, and Jungkook is never anyone’s prince charming who knows how to treat woman like a queen. He’s bad at it.

Back then long before he met Yeri, someone asked him about how well do you think you’ll treat your future girlfriend if you ever had one, he answered it so confidently about giving her everything and treat her really well, but because Yeri refused to call herself his girlfriend, without he realized he ended up thinking  that he’s not obligate to do something really grande for her.

“Slowly..” Jungkook still watching her drinking in front of the fridge, while fixing her messy hair with both of his hand.

“I’m sorry.” Yeri stopped crying now, and tell Jungkook that she’s sorry.

“For what? For crying?”

“No. for lying.” She takes a deep breath while stare at Jungkook and give him a quick smile.

“I thought I was fine and I don’t need anyone to stay with me, but turns out that I’m not feeling really good, right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Do you still have lots of work?”

“Sort of..”

“Then, no. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jungkook nodding his head, because he understand, Yeri will never accept, if he puts her as his number one priority above his work. She’s so matured in that way, and it’s actually good for him since Yeri is someone who works in the same industry with him and having  a same life as his, so she can understand things like this better. He’s always afraid before, what if he has close relationship with a non celebrity who’s having a hard time adjusting their life with his. But well..it’s good that Yeri is the one he met and not others.

***

Yeri decide to let Jungkook working in peace, while taking a long bath to comfort herself. She can’t believe that after so many times, Jungkook is still her trigger for times like this. Back when she left her dorm this morning, she can give her unnies and her manager smile, telling them that she is fine and she just need to sorting out of some things on her mind. She still looks so happy and even take a selca with them and post it on SNS, but why when she find Jungkook, things taking turn so drastically and she ended up turtoring him with frustrating attitude.

“Do you want something to eat?”

Jungkook feels so relieved when he see Yeri is looking fresh and better after spending  two hours for her bath. He’s also trying to make his work pace becoming as efficient as possible, so he’ll finished faster.

“Let’s call delivery .” Yeri can see that Jungkook still focusing his eyes to his notebook but manage to give her an answer. She was going to make him something simple, but looks like he prefer to eat real food instead.

“I don’t want you to spend more times on cooking than talking to me.”

“I’m not a professional cook, I’ll probably use 10 minutes to make you an instant noodles.”

“Even 10 minutes is precious, now call the delivery and sit here, I’m almost done.”

That words means Jungkook is in a great condition right now, because he doesn’t looks annoyed by her and all her antics, and Yeri is glad because of that.

“What do you want to eat?” Yeri is already take a sit beside him, she’s using her phone to call the delivery.

“Anything is fine..and now I’m done.”

Yeri told Jungkook to stop talking when the restaurant finally picking up her call. She just order a few basic menu of Chinese food for their dinner tonight. She doesn’t really want to eat either.

“Are you seriously done?”

“Yeah. I’m not purposefully making it done, I finished it. It still needs a few adjustment but I should do that with my equiptments at the studio.”

“Ok then. “

“when I first learn about you, I thought you’re someone who’s clingy and always need her boyfriend to stay close with her all the time.”

Yeri  is chuckling because of his words, and now staring at him, curious.

“Why ?”

“I don’t know, just something I learned from the Bali trip.”

“First of all, you’re not my boyfriend. I don’t have any right to get clingy on you..”

“Right. That again..just how many times you’ll tell the world about that.”

Yeri knows that Jungkook still not entirely happy with what they have right now, but Yeri thought that this is better than any dating relationship she ever imagine. And she doesn’t want to change that.

“If you’re my boyfriend, you’ll probably have harder time than this. I’ll ask you to see me often, I will get annoyed if you’re not calling me in days, I will get mad if you’re not replying my messages, I don’t think  I’m good with long distance relationship, especially with people like you.”

The longest time Jungkook’s being MIA for Yeri is two weeks, no phone call, no messages, nothing. It’s not like he’s super busy or anything, he just doesn’t realized that communication are pretty much needed  for them. He just sometimes forget about it, even his own parents are often complaining about him who’s not really good at keeping contact with them.

“Isn’t that because you like me too much, so even if I entered the military for two years without telling you, you’ll still be fine and wait for me?”

"Probably, you're fun to play with. I don't want to lose you either and i think you know that i made so many compromise for it."

Yeri as an ordinary young girl definitely has her own expectation and her own  imagination regarding a relationship. How will she treated by someone, and how will she treat them. As for the type of relationship she has with Jungkook, obviously she’s also having a high expectation about it. But since their relationship is not something  that needs a full time commitment, even though right now Jungkook is just here  to fullfilled 50% of that expectation or maybe less than that.  She can understand and compromise with everything because she knows that for people like them, the usual and typical interaction is not easy to gain. Jungkook is busy, Yeri is also busy, there are so many things they need to do on their everyday life. So yeah..not dating him is also a compromise she made for the situation.

"There's a new one on the fridge." Yeri is now talking to Jungkook when she realized that he just started to eat the ice cream she gave to him 2 hours ago. It's already melted.

"It's ok."

Jungkook and his focus is always something that Yeri admired, if he choose to immersed with his work, he’ll just stick with it for hours, for days even. There were times when Yeri  spend few hours of her times to watch Jungkook works  through a video call. It's fun.

"You know that you talked a lot  when you work, right?"

"I didn't know that, honestly i thought i was quiet."

As for this, Jungkook can't help but feels sorry to Yeri, earlier this year, he let her to watch him working on a cover song he made for his fans till really late, and she ended up sleeping. He doesn't bother to cut their call, and he keeps talking all by himself while doing his work.

Yeri was tired that day so she was not bothered by it, but then Jungkook get frustrated because one of his equipment is not working properly so he's getting angry and whining plus cusing to it while near screaming.

Yeri woke up because of that, confused, scared, and surprised. And that was the last time she's willing to watch him work.

"I actually missed watching you work, it's fun hearing you talk by yourself and looks so serious about it."

"We can do that again later."

"Nope. I'm still traumatized." Yeri take one spoon of his ice cream for her to eat before she left him to the kitchen and prepared for their dinner.

---

 

"Why are you insisting us to eat here? we can eat while watching TV."

Jungkook is helping Yeri to open their packaged food when it's arrived. He want to eat at the living room while watching TV but Yeri say no.

"My mom doesn't like it if this place is becoming messy."

"We can cleaning it up after."

"No, we won't. You'll tell me to play some game and i'll lose and i'll be the one who ended up doing the cleaning. Let's just eat here."

It's not like Yeri is wrong about that, so Jungkook is giving up and take a sit immediately, ready for his dinner.

"You definitely eat like a pig. Eat slowly, the food won’t run away.." Yeri talks to him while smiling, when she watch Jungkook is really enjoying his dinner.
She already watched him eat for so many times. And it's always amusing to watch it. He devours a lot of food, and he's also not picky over his food, except when he's in the middle of a strict diet.

"I need to eat a lot to recharge my energy, if I’m going to face you at your state like this. So you can take all your frustation out on me and i can accept you with a smile.."

He's right. so Yeri just nodding her head and tell him to eat more.

"Don't you want to help me?"

Jungkook is asking Yeri that when he realized that she already stopped eating her dinner only after two small pieces of seasoned chicken, she's busy with her phone now.

"No, you can eat everything. I'm full."

She just answers him with a quick words, and now stopped using her phone and focusing her eyes to him again.

"I don't usually force you to do something, but i'm tired for chewing this much of food..so.here, try some of this.."

Yeri ended up opening when Jungkook feeding her  a dumpling from his plate. It's actually feels so nice to have him around at time like this.

"If i didn't came here to see you, you'll probably skipped dinner and sleep with an empty stomach, right?"

Yeri is not answering and just keep opening to eat everything Jungkook gave to her, because he's also right about this.

"Since i can not see you often. You really need to care about your well being without waiting people to remind you."

"I will."

He is now lift his face to Yeri when he finally heard her voice again. Looks like she already eat enough because now her cheeks is popping off while chewing all the food he gave her earlier.

"Can i stay here till tomorrow, just to make sure that you'll eat your breakfast?"

Yeri is laughing at him when he’s asking her that, she's take a quick sip of water before she's back to him and shakes her head lightly.

"I'll be staying at my dorm tonight. You can stay here if you want. alone."

"Why?"

"Because.. my mom doesn't want me to let anyone sleep over on my apartment  and I think she knows that i've been seeing you these days, and I also have plan."

"Did you tell her anything? or maybe your members told her something about me?"

"No, i mean not you, but she knows that i've been meeting someone, a guy.. As for my members, i don't really talk to my unnies about you anymore. They already made a conclusion for themselves, they though tthat i'm in a “some” relationship with you."

"Good, at least they know. My hyungs thought that you're my ex. They don't believe me even if i told them it's not true."

Yeri is now tilting her head and smile.

"That's explain why Jimin oppa told me that both of us can still be friends even if Jungkookie said no."

"Jimin hyung is so weird. I never told him to stay away from you."

Yeri use her hands to cover when Jungkook try to feeding her one big piece of dumpling.

"No, i can't help you anymore. I'm seriously so full right now."

Well, Yeri nearly eat one full portion of his dumpling, so it's makes sense for her to refuse any food coming from him.

"What about your mom then?" Jungkook ended up eat all the left over, while asking Yeri another question.

"When she gave me this apartment, she told me to be responsible and not playing and flirting too much guys.."

"She's right. Stop flirting with people."

Everybody knows that Yeri is having tons of relation and interaction with lots of men. Yeri is not usually shy and awkward with that kind of interaction, so people always mistaken that act as her flirting.

She never try to seduce anyone with that behaviour. Except for when she did that to Jungkook, but then she only did it on private, when noone else is around them.

"I don't have any intention to flirt, it's not my fault if you and my mom assuming what i did. I was just talking to my friend, going out with him, having a few drinks and playing with him."

"I don't know you did all of that."

The disadvantage of having no label for their relationship is this one. They don't know where to put jealousy as part of their relationship, like she knows it's not fair if she's having any close encounter with other men, but she's also think that Jungkook doesn't need to know about the details of her life.

So yeah..it's confusing, because that's also happened to her, one day Yeri was sad and completely dissapointed by Jungkook because he refused to see her when she was having a schedule near his agency, because he need to dropping one of his staff home, which is a young girl, an intern on top of that. Well, it was happened because noone else left in the company, and he was asked to help, But still Yeri is dissapointed because what is so wrong to let his staff wait while Jungkook see her for only 5 minutes.

"I'll let you know about it starting today." So yeah, Yeri knows that he probably has right to get jealous too.

"No, you don't need to do that."

"It was just one time, around 2 months ago. It was a birthday party of my high school friend..I was dropped off by my male friend and my mom see that. I wasn't drunk or anything..and.."

"The more you explained about it the more annoyed i am, so let's talk about this another time, because today i'm supposed to help you out."

"Sorry." Yeri reach out her hands to Jungkook's and holding it slowly, she does feels bad.
 It's already more than a year after they first encounter and even though they're not a couple, things like that shouldn't have kept as a secret.

"I'll decide whether i'll forgive or not, after some thinking but not tonight."

"what? it's not fair. I forgive you immediately when similiar thing happened." Yeri started to get angry again and now raising her tone of talk to Jungkook while tossing his hands from hers.

Jungkook is now getting up from his sit and walk closer to Yeri. He stand beside her while leaning his back to the edge of the table.

"Get up." He talks to her and as expected Yeri is ignoring his words.

When Yeri’s being annoying like this,  she really reminds him to how he behaves a  few years ago. He did exactly the same thing everytime he's angry, he was so selfish and possesive over anything at the beginning of his career. There's one time when he refused to talk with anyone because he doesn't like how his hair styled for a comeback and people including some of his fans talks about hating it on the internet, and also times when he fought with his hyungs because they use his fan gift.

He doesn't even know why he did that, but it's happened. Everyone around him was trying really hard to cheer him up, they always so protective over him because Jungkook was so young and such a kid back then. And now he's here, as an adult, trying to doing the exact same thing with Yeri, try to makes her feels better and cheering her up, even though he knows for sure that her problem is not as simple as a bad hair day, but with this, he also realized that he’s actually growing up and becoming more mature as a person.

"You're strangely behaving a little bit...more annoying than any other day.This is not my first time, but it's more difficult to talk to you right now."

He's looking down at her while ruffling Yeri's hair and playing with it lightly.

Yeri takes a deep breath and covering her face after Jungkook finished his talk. Something is definetely wrong with her, and the worse part is only Jungkook and his existence that could makes Yeri realized how messed up her behaviour regarding this.

"Will you ever get tired of me because of this?" She pull Jungkook's closer with tugging his shirt and wrapping her arms on his waist and hugging it.

"It's not like you're doing this everyday, so no i won't get tired of you."

Yeri let out a smile showed on her face when he said that and kissed top of her head while caressing it.

Seriously a safe heaven, Jeon Jungkook.

"It’s 5 weeks.”

“What is it?”

Yeri is now getting up from her sit and stand in front of Jungkook while looking up to him staring at his eyes.

“The last time we saw each other. It’s been 5 weeks.” She give him a smile while holding his hands on the side. Right, it’s already more than one full month since the last time she saw him briefly at the TV station.
 

“I don't think you should do that, if you won't let me stay the night."

Jungkook talk close to Yeri’s ear when she just finished giving him a long and deep kiss. Since Jungkook is the only man that she ever kissed on her life, Yeri is probably learn everything from him, and since he's good with that, Yeri is also confidence about what can she do. So she knows exactly what Jungkook means with those words.

"You can stay here."

"And you?"

"I really need to go back to my dorm tonight."

She can heard a heavy sigh from Jungkook when he heard that.

"Then what should i do, when you're not even here.."

Jungkook thinks that Yeri is already own him completely. He usually loves spending times alone, busy with his own world and his own mind. But after his first encounter with Yeri, he often trade his precious me time to play with her or just simply talk to her through a short phone call or a simple message exchange.
There's also times when he's really determined to see her, Around 3 months ago, when Jungkook was having a series of concert in Japan and Yeri was also there,  having a promotion for her new single.

He was super busy that time, practice, preparing the event since dawn, studying long script in another languange, and Yeri is also in the same situation.
Staying at hotel, sleep, receiving a special massage is probably the best decision for times like that, but he ended up ask Yeri to play with him, they went to amusement park with a mask for 4 hours or something, they need to take a toilet break to take it off for so many times when they feels stuffy inside the mask. It's bothersome and far  from convenience but the thing is he still did that, he's willing to go that far for a date with Yeri. And that's a little bit too extra for him to actually let her have so much control of him and his feeling like that.

"I'll still have few hours before they need me there, so use it well." It's Seulgi’s birthday tomorrow, and they already planned a surprise party for her,  Yeri really want to be there.

"I won't have any chance to see you till next month, so you're the one who really needs to use it well."

Jungkook left her while chuckling, because he seems knows that Yeri will be the one who will have more misery when they're apart for a long time.

"Then...do you want to walk around with me?"

"Outside?"

"Just around the neighborhood."

It's surprising for Jungkook, because Yeri is always the one who refused to see him outside. She does told him that she's not actually afraid for getting caught as his close friend, but he knows that Yeri prefer to not let people know about their relationship until she died.

She's the one who's always being extra careful and telling him to stop acting weird when they saw each other in public. That's why Jungkook gave her one of BTS crew jacket to makes her feels at ease when she really needs to be seen together with him, if there's something emergency , just like with what happened to him because of Mr. Jang last year.

"I bring my car, we can use it if you want to go somewhere."

"No, let's just take a walk."

Yeri is coming out from her room after she's changing her clothes wearing her sweater and her snapback. She looks like a kid on this attire.

"It won't take long, we don't need to bring our phone."

Yeri talks to him while linking her hand on Jungkook's arms and dragging him to the front door.

"You're not planning to kidnap me or something like that, right?"

"won't it be more appropriate if i'm the one who asked you that?"

"You're right.".

***

"My team won first place when we play some game at my agency workshop last month."

Jungkook knows about this event, some of his friends from the same agency with Yeri talked about the event on their group chat.

"was it fun?"

"yeah. The scenery is so beautiful, reminds me of that one beach near our hotel back in Bali."

Jungkook is always so fascinated when the talk about Bali being brought again between them. It was such a fascinating event on his life, what they did in Bali.

"Let's go there again one day."

"Where? Bali?"

He stare at Yeri who sounds surprised with his offer, she’s looking up to him with her confused eyes.

"Why? you don't like it?"

"I cried at the airport, some of the staffs were calming me down and they probably still remember me. It's going to be embarassing for me to go back."

"You were the one who choose to leave me, i don't know why you think it's makes sense for you to cry."

Yeri is not responding to him, and just back to stare at the road while still holding Jungkook's hand and pull it inside of her coat pocket. It's still spring here, so of course the weather is far from warm.

"I was sick when i just got back from Bali." And Jungkook is the one who's continuing his talk.

"You're probably exhausted after the vacation. Don't you dare to blame me on that."

"No. It's your fault. Totally your fault."

Yeri is now stopping her walk and letting Jungkook's hands go from hers when he pull it away.

"I was so busy to think about what is so wrong from me that you choose to leave me after i let you learned about my real self. And never in my life i feel so unwanted by people like that. It's stressed me out."

"I know. That's why i came to you first for an apology...we came a long way from that."

"It's still the same for me..

Jungkook rarely talk about something serious to Yeri. He's not as open as her about his problem or his mind. He always said that he's fine or nothing is wrong everytime Yeri notice a slight change from his behaviour and asking him about it. So of course moments like this is lowkey nerve wrecking for her.

"I feel like i already let you to take a part of my life a little bit too far and i don't know if that thing would be good or not.."

Yeri is not answering but tilting her head to  him, hoping for Jungkook to actually talk about something light and easy instead of things like this.

"I was so selfish, if someone else behaving like you towards me before I met you. I'll probably stopped talking to them until they came to me for apologized. I won't be there to be their punching bag because i thought it's not fair since I don't do any wrong to them. I know you never ask me to do that for you, but i always find myself is willing to do it.."

"It's not a bad thing.."

"It's a problem because i'm not confidence if i can stay as this kind of person who’s so patient, nice, and mature even when you're not here.."

"You gave me too much credit." Yeri drag Jungkook back to walks and now laugh at him, because she thinks that his mind is really like a kid at times like this.

"People treat you as a kid and protecting you with all their might since you were young so of course it'll affect your personality, and you'll ended up expecting the same treatment from everyone and also lead you to become selfish and possesive when you were young. I wasn't like that because people never treat me that way."

Yeri told Jungkook to take a sit in one of an empty bench outside a playground when they finally find one.

"I was trained to always shared what i have with others. I'm the eldest daughter at home, and also since so many trainess on my agency is young, everyone was treated equally there.  You also know how cheerful i am in my everyday life, i'm not a shy and awkward person, i have so many friends, i laughed a lot, people who knows me for first time, they want to play with me not to protect me. That's why i was uncomfortable when you're being protective of my well being when we had our Bali trip."

Yeri is now take a sit beside him while staring blankly at an empty swing in front of her. She’s continue with her talks after taking a deep breath.

"i can't say that you're making me a better person, because right now i'm only showing my emotions, all my frustration, my angers, my tears  when i have a hard time to only you, Hoping you to understand me and all my not-so-pretty behaviours. That just makes me a bad person to you.."

"That's not true."

"Of course it's not. It's just showed that i finally can be honest to others about my real struggles, i don't need to hide behind my own smile, i can be brave to let you know. And it's honestly a good thing."

Yeri ended up her talk and staring back at Jungkook who looks confused but also agree with what she said.

"I think more than me, people like your hyungs, your family, your staffs and your fans is probably the one who made you a better person, or maybe it's just you who want to change yourself. I did nothing."

She give Jungkook a smile while shaking her head and lift her shoulder.

"Then what am i gaining from my encounter with you?" Jungkook is not responding her smile and only ask her another hard question to answer.

"Why would i know that? "

Yeri getting up from her sit when Jungkook is not talking anything at all.

"Let's go back" She told Jungkook to get up from his sit, but he's not moving.

"Then i'm going to say that you're helping me living my life as a person ."

He finally gets up from his sit and hold Yeri closer to him by her waist.

"I'm happy with you being around. And i'm glad that i can let you know my flaws without being wary about you getting dissapointed. My life gets easier because of you. That's what I’m gaining."

Even though it's still confusing for him about how Yeri has capability to changed him, but at least..she does makes his life easier to live. That much he knows.

"That's such a huge gain. wow congratulation."

Yeri pat his shoulder while giving him a wide smile. It's honestly nice to hear these words from someone who basically had hard times for dealing with her on daily basis.

"I also think that you're making my life easier .."

She's giving him a hug on a place like this should get noticed as a big leap of their relationship, since Yeri is not comfortable with it, and she's afraid people will see them.

“I can not get used to this.” Jungkook seems taken aback with the way she acts but he’s still hugging her back.

“Just for tonight.”

---

 

“It’s not like you don’t know that I don’t drink coffee.”

When they finally back to her apartment, Yeri is actually feels sorry for taking Jungkook to a long walk in a cold weather, since she just recently learned to makes a coffee like barista, so she decide to makes one for him as a pretty gesture because she’s thankful.

“You don’t like bitter stuffs. And this one is not. I made it sweet.”

“really?”

“Yes.”

The fact is Yeri wasn’t so sure about that. Well, she just take a lesson for the first time two weeks ago, and for the basic knowledge, she learned how to brew coffee and made an espresso, but well..after you combined a few things into it, the sour and bitter espresso could become light and sweet. Her instructor told her that.

Yeri following Jungkook’s movements with her eyes when he finally willing to try her coffee. He doesn’t looks so sure but he’s still drink it and the change of his expression after takes a sip makes Yeri feels the urge to try it too, and yeah..she failed. More than bitter, Yeri thinks that the coffee just tastes really bad, even for her who’s a fan of it. She take a glance to Jungkook beside her and he totally hates that either.

Jungkook was ready to complaining about his drink when Yeri is proving to him again that she’s probably one of the most favorite person on his life who’s also good at flirting. She came to him, kissing him open mouthed, nearly sit on his lap, hands are playing with his hair, just like a total life ruiner.

“I told you it’s going to be sweet..i didn’t lie.”

Yeri is clearing while saying that, hands are still on Jungkook’s shoulder and she can find a little smile from him when he heard that.

“I still have so much left, if I take another sips, will you do that again?”

Yeri get embarrassed right away, and now shaking her head while take the glass of her failed coffee and drink everything left on it. She frowned so much because it taste really bad.

“Now you don’t have anything left.”

“That’s totally not fair.” Yeri try to freeing herself from Jungkook’s who’s now holding her waist only with his right hand. He won’t let her go.

“My mom told me to be responsible and I don’t have many times to play with you.”

“Right. Why don’t you tell your mom about me? Don’t you think it’s a little bit weird if she’s worried about you and mistaken someone else as your male friend?” Yeri is already give up to slip from Jungkook’s embrace, so she just stay there, sitting on his lap and watching him close.

“She’s not good at keeping secret just like your mom, it’s..i’ll think about it but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Jungkook seems understand her explanation well, because he’s not pestering her about it further and change his focus to her and caressing her cheeks.

“Are you feeling better now?”

“I think so. I’m starting to become less annoying, right?”

“What happened?”

Yeri is back to her sit and Jungkook letting her go easily now. She’s staring at an empty cup in front of her. Jungkook is also doing nothing, of course he prefer for Yeri to talked about what bothering her but even if she choose to not doing that, he can’t force her to do it.

“Be honest and answer my question.” Yeri is now taking her phone from her bag and showing Jungkook one picture. Yeri and few girls he doesn’t knows. Not her members or celebrities, just a bunch of ordinary girls.

“You look so young. How old are you on this picture?” Yeri is wearing a white blouse with a short skirt, her hair is still her natural hair, she’s all smiley on that picture, holding hands tightly with the girl beside her.

“Fifteen years old. It was my first time to participate on a public stage as a trainee, before my debut.”

Yeri is now started to zooming in the picture, not focusing to her but the girl beside her.

“Is she pretty?

Jungkook is not answering her but staring at her with confusion.

“Be honest.”

“Well..yeah. Everyone is beautiful on this picture.”

“Prettier than me?”

Jungkook is taken aback once again with her nonsense question.

“Be honest.” Yeri looks so serious about this, and Jungkook thinks that she’s also serious about telling him to be honest.

“What should I say…you were like a kid on this picture, meanwhile your friend looks more mature..and yeah a little bit prettier.”

The other girl is having a red hair, she looks like a celebrity instead of a trainee, her make up styling is better than Yeri’s who’s only having a natural and light make up. She somehow looks determined on that picture.

“She’s also better than me at singing, dancing, acting, modeling, she’s an ace. Just like you.”

Jungkook is now turn his eyes from the phone screen back t Yeri who’s looking rather sad talking about this.

“I still remember every words she said to me the last time we saw each other.”

Jungkook really want to ask her about who is she and why does she matter to her being sad and angry. But he decide  to listen to her story very carefully, because Yeri is never talking about something useless if its concerning his or her problem.

“You just got lucky. You took everything from me. “

“Does she lost over something because of you?”

Yeri takes a deep breath before she talks, her eyes is already red and Jungkook know that she’ s going to cry again.

"She could be someone who's talking to you now."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing."

It's hard to even tell Jungkook about this, because Yeri knows that she and Jungkook is no longer seeing each other as a simple co workers or fellow idols, so this kind of talk will probably ruined their night.

“I don’t want to hear a nothing from you.”

Jungkook is never want to force Yeri to talk about something she's uncomfortable with,  especially career and their life as celebrity is probably the least thing they ever talked about together, they also don’t talk a lot about their own past to each other. So it does feels unusual if Yeri talked about this kind of thing, but since she already gather her courage to talk about it, Jungkook doesn't want this conversation turns into an empty talk where she gain nothing, not even his support.

***
 

"What am i doing right now.."

Jungkook can't believe Yeri and all her weird antics. She told him to use her account and helping her to passed a few levels for an online game they usually played together, before she wants to talk about her problem. He used her notebook at the living room, while Yeri watching him play on the couch.

"You're really good." She take a closer look to the screen when Jungkook nearly finished the game.

The reason for her to ask him doing this game is because she want to distract his attention. She doesn't want Jungkook to get immersed and focused with her problems, she's aware that he’s also receive  enough stress from his own life, his own problem,  she's supposed to be there to help him feels at ease. But Yeri ended up becoming the only one who keeps receiving things from him.

"You can do it, if you stop hiding. Attack like that can't be done if you're using a defensive strategy..." And looks like it worked, because Jungkook can't stop talking about the game now.

Yeri just stare at him with her blank eyes. She's not in the mood to talk about the game at all, so she just nodding her head acting like she understand what he said, when Jungkook finally stopped talking and take a closer sit beside her.

"It won't work.." Jungkook can see that Yeri is not even focusing to his words at all, so he holds her hands to bring her back from her daydream.

"Right..i know it won't work if...”

"No, if you want me to let you off for hiding your problems from me by doing this..it won't work."

Jungkook is definitely can see through her precisely. It's scary sometimes when someone just can do it to you, but it's also fascinating. Yeri lift her face to him, and she knows that he is genuinely worried for her.

"I prefer to talk about something fun with you."

 Since they have so many similiar things as hobby and interest. Fun talk is never hard to do, from movies, book, song, game, place for vacation, foods, they can talk about those light and exciting thing for hours.

And Yeri will never get bored with that.

"I prefer to helping you feeling better. You can talk, i'll just listen to it and if you need one, i'll share my thoughts about it when you're done."

It’s  no use to avoiding him right now, maybe let him know is not a bad thing. Yeri takes a deep breath before she begin her story.

"You know i was an addition member on my team right? i wasn't there at the beginning."

Well yeah, Jungkook was in the middle of a promotion when Red velvet made its debut and Yeri wasn't there.

"You joined a year later. I remember i saw you in your ponny tail, brown hair, bright smile, you're happy even though the rehearsal was happened so early in morning."

Groups and acts usually takes turn to do a rehearsal for music show. If other groups was doing their job on stage the others are watching them from the audience seat. And Jungkook thinks that his earliest memories from Yeri is probably that one.

"I'm genuinely happy, when i first joined the group. Don't you think i'm a little bit too cruel for being that happy when one of my close friend told me that i robbed her dream few months before?"

Yeri talks with an empty laugh behind it and it's honestly makes Jungkook feels bad.

"That beautiful girl from the picture was my close friend when I was a trainee. She lost her chance to debut because of me. She was supposed to added as the newest member on my group instead of me."

And with that, Jungkook is slowly understand the directions of this talk.

"Do you know how many line up changes my team needs to get through for 2 years before our debut? A dozen times. Do you know how many times i cried everytime someone was saying goodbye to me? Leaving me behind?”

Of course Yeri understand that better than anyone. Everyone who spend their youth on this harsh industry is aware about how cruel the challenge they need to face to makes their dream come true.

It was not easy, not for her and not for Jungkook.

"We didn't have a great conclusion for our friendship. She hated me. it's not like you and your friends who still have a great relation even after what happened in the past. I can't heard encouraging words from that friend, she's not telling me that she's glad i'm doing well and call me as her motivation just like some of your friend who trained together with you. I'm not in such situation."

Yeri looks really frustrated while saying that, and Jungkook knows that what she wants is not a judgment from him, she just want to get listened by someone regarding this.

"I know you feel bad for that friend.”

"I did. I cried a lot when she said that she doesn’t like what happened between us, because i understand her resentment. Anyone will feel bad if someone who's not better than you winning against you over something."

"Who said that you're no better than her?

"Everyone. You know, when the news about me being selected to debut spread, so many people congratulate me..but most of them congratulate me for being lucky."

Judging from Jungkook’s expression and how he stay silent while listening to her story. Yeri is sure that he completely understand what she means and why this is bothering her.

"You know me. I was young and i could care less about something like that. So what, if i'm lucky? i still made it. I also moving on from my broken friendship because i believe that my friend will gain her success with another way. She's so talented, pretty, kind, people like her, really similiar with you as an idol."

Now that Yeri is thinking about it. Her friend is really similiar with Jungkook in such a way.

"Can you imagine, people like you lost a chance to debut because of people like me? anyone will get mad for that, right?"

"I never thought that i'll become a main vocal of our team too. I don't care about singing when i first started, do you know why?"

Yeri shakes her head slowly, can not think any answer for Jungkook.

"Because in my life too, i was surrounded by so many people who is more talented, more determined, and better than me in so many aspects ended up losing their chance because of me."

It's hard for Yeri to believe that Jungkook has a similiar experience with her too, since the first time she saw Jungkook on stage, it feels like him making a debut is probably one of the most  fair decision that happened. Young, talented, likeable, handsome, kind, all those fans, all those praises he gain. It's just right for people like him to shine.

"There are people out there who as good as me or even better than me, dreaming a life like mine but has no chance. I heard people called me lucky more often than you."

People like Jungkook is deserving, he's not lucky, that's what Yeri thought all the time.

"Aren’t  you tired to hear people keep calling you lucky?"

"No, i'm not tired. Because those people don't know my life. They can call me lucky as much as they want, but i know that i worked hard for that luck."

Seriously, that words sounds really good for Yeri. It's relieving and nice to hear.

"We're lucky, yes. But we worked hard for that luck, so i don't see any reason for you to feel guilty about things like that."

" When I saw that friend yesterday, she's now working as a part timer in a coffee shop..she's no longer has red hair, her eyes is no longer shine, she's doesn't looks like she belong there, she looks so stressed...I just..i can't even say hi to her bc i just feel angry and mad at the situation. She can do so much better than that, she deserve so much better than that.. it's just wrong. "

Yeri started to get eye teary, she looks really angry indeed while talking about it.

"It's just a situation where i don't know what to do at all.."

Jungkook is not arguing with her anymore, and now use his hand to bring both of her leg on his lap and giving her a massage.

"What are you doing?" Yeri talk to him while giving him a smile, bc he looks cute.

"I can't help you with your problem, i don't know what to do either in such situation, so i'm helping you with this, you told me that you've been receiving treatment for your leg, right?"

Yeri nod her head, and feels happy that at least Jungkook remember about it, when she's expecting he doesn't.

“I’ll suggest you to talk to her, but again I don’t know her, so she’s probably will feel bad when she saw you..And I’m worried that you’ll ended up hurting because of that. “

Yeri giving him a smile because she’s just feel thankful that he’s here.

"I know, there are times when you feel responsible to give me advice and helping me out from my problem. You already helped me for so many times, and i admit that i'm always expecting something in return everytime i told you about my problems. But even if you're just her with me, listen to me, be a good punching bag..It's already more than enough for me. You don't need to think me as a burden.”

"You never a burden. It's just me, you know how much i hate it if i can't solve something till i have a conclusion."

Of course Yeri is aware, Jungkook will get angry if there's something he can not solve. Whether it's a small thing like how to solve a quest in an adventure game, or much complicated thing, like playing an instrument and cooking.

"And what do you mean a good punching bag? I've been working hard."

"You're good, but.. let me ask you one thing, do you ever see a punch bag send out back a punch to its owner?  You sometime losing out your patience on me and ended up sulking if i choose to disagree with you and your words."

"I'm not sulking because of that. I just don't like the way you told me that you're disagreeing with me. it'll be easy if you just told me what's on your mind, but the thing is, i need to figuring out by myself because you won't talk to me everytime you're disagreeing with me."

Not everytime. But Yeri admit that she did it a lot.

"You told me the reason you have so many bestfriends is because you always told them everything and be honest about things you like and dislike to them. Then treat me the same way."

"It's different."

“Why?”

“It’s just different, after all what happened, I just can’t treat you like that anymore..”

Jungkook is already stopped giving her feet a massage and now, looking annoyed pulling himself away from Yeri. He is now sitting on the other edge of the couch. Yeri taking a glance to his car keys on the table. It's still there, means that he's not angry enough to left.

“You’re the one who asked me to be your friend and helping you with your problem..”

"I never want to kissed my bestfriend when i talked about my problems with them. I never expect them to hug me or offering to help me falling asleep while singing a song. I can’t let them heard my complains and receive my anger with smile, I never want to impress them. It’s different,  You're not my bestfriend, you're the man i love."

Yeri close her eyes immediately when she realized her mistake.
Love? For more than a year they spend times together, Jungkook never says a thing about loving her. That's sounds stupid to bring it up first.

It's worse when she find Jungkook is also surprised and taken aback with what she said. Yeri is covering her face and now looking down while let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm..taking it back. I don't love you. I like you."

Yeri is back to Jungkook when she heard him chuckling and now bring himself to sit close to her.

 "Don't you think it's weirder if you take that back?"

"No, it's not. I made a mistake."

She's trying really hard to hide her embarassment by getting up from her sit immediately.

For Jungkook, Yeri is really one of his most favorite person. She’s just so cute and easy to like. Words she said, things she did, it's like a whole new experience for Jungkook. Just like right now, she left him just like that, going inside her room and locking it from the inside after saying such remarkable sentence.

***

"What are you doing?"  Yeri can heard a knock on her door twice.

"I'm packing some clothes."

It's not a lie. She's indeed packing her clothes while cursing to herself for being so stupid.

"It's not Bali anymore, why are you running away?"

Jungkook realized that Yeri is already in front of the door, unlock it, and opening it for him.

"I'm not running away, i'm packing my clothes."

She showed him her white bagpack, she's already wear her coat, and styling her hair, ready to go.

"This is completely running away, Kim Yerim."

"It's not. I already told you, i can't play with you tonight, I have plan, and i also need a ride, let's go."

Yeri is all giggling by herself while watching Jungkook packing his bag and turning off his laptop while whining.

"I won't see you till next month, I probably won't have time to call you often and play games with you."

"It's ok. I understand"

"I won't be able to send you any message either.”

“It’s fine.”

Yeri is getting up from her sit, and now standing in front of him, still giggling and amused with what she saw. Jungkook is ignoring her and keep focusing his attention to his bag.

"You're going to miss me. I understand."

Looks like what she said is enought to distract him, becasue he's stopped caring about his bag, and stare at Yeri, who's still giggling, being happy while teasing him.

"It's obvious. i know, love is a little bit too much for you to say because it’s like that for me too, but it's not hard to tell me that you're going to miss me."

Yeri put her hand on Jungkook's back and caressing it. She knows that he is really bad at expressing something with words. He's doing everything for her while rarely talk about his feelings.

"I'm going to miss you."

She never feels bad even though Jungkook is not good with words, but she can't lie that hearing things like this from him feels really nice.

"We're not living in ancient era. We can still talk to each other" Yeri letting Jungkook go, and let him finish packing his bag.

"Hey, do you feel better now?"

Jungkook asking her that when he's walking behind her to the front door. Yeri is so thankful that he's still worried about her. So she just nod her head and giving him a smile.

"Thank you for fighting with me, i actually forget about my problem because of it, and i do feel better now."

Yeri is waiting for him to walk together with her and she holds his hand while opening the front door.

"I'll start to charged you for this. Pay me."

"Ah..right."

Jungkook is doing nothing but watch Yeri who’s running away back to her room, and left her bag on the floor.

"I almost forgot about this. I planned to give you this before you went for tour last month."

Yeri is back and now giving him some sort of handicraft, looks like a book full with her hand writing and his Polaroid pictures.

"Can you imagine, i'm making a handicraft for you? be grateful to me for the rest of your life."

Jungkook is amazed with this. Yeri and him is already agree with each other that they’ll never take pictures together in a digital form. They ended up deleting all their pictures together from the Bali vacation.  Jungkook don't actually care about it anymore but Yeri cares about it a lot.

"I don't remember you take this much picture of me."

"I took a lot, when i first had the Polaroid and camera film. I think it was last year when I first showed you that, I also took one at the backstage of that award show, you posed with your trophy. I think it's here somewhere."

Yeri is busy flipping her book, while Jungkook still watching her at awe. She really acts like a typical young girl for this. Cute.

"Why are you giving me this?"

"I have spare times on my break last month, and i met your mom when i went to Busan. She's invited me to your..."

"Are you seriously visiting my home, without me being there?  Why didn't you tell me?"

Right, she went to Busan and even tell her fans through sns that she was there. She's completely forgot to tell Jungkook about it.

"I just..wait..isn't it weirder that your mom didn't tell you about my visit?"

"No, it's not weird. She's definitely doing it on purpose, because i always told her to not bother you."

"I'm not bothered.  I completely forgot about it since i already posted on sns about me staying there." 

Jungkook never see Yeri's public sns, they don't play with that for their relationship.

"Let's talk about it on our way. I really need to go right now."

Yeri pushed Jungkook away from the door while glancing at her watch. She’s late.

***

"Hold this." Jungkook is handing her his gift and told Yeri to  hold into it, while he put his bag on the back seat.

"Drop me off at my dorm." Yeri told him that while he's helping him to wear her seatbelt.

"I can also drive you all the way to my home in Busan." It’s a total sarcasm. She knows it.

Yeri is looking at him as he's started his car, he still looks annoyed about her visit to his hometown.

"I didn't do anything at your home."

Jungkook is annoyed because both Yeri and his mom is not telling him anything about this, He's also annoyed because it's been forever since he came home so he’s kind of jealous with Yeri, and the last thing is he’s annoyed because he always want bring Yeri to his home, telling her about his life by himself, it's actually a little bit dissapointing when she choose to leave him behind like this.

Jungkook is still not talking, means he's still annoyed and Yeri is aware about this.

"I was already has plan to go there for my vacation, and then coincidentally your mom called me ask me what i was doing, so i told her that i'm in Busan for vacation, and she offers me to visit your home, so i came. Did i do something wrong?"

"We should go together."

Jungkook looks really dissapointed while saying that and it's honestly makes her feels bad. Well, yeah he does promise her to showed her around if they ever have chance to go there.

"I didn't ask your mom anything about your life, You can still tell me, when we go together next time."

Jungkook usually came home once in a year. His parents always told him that it's more convenient for him to stay in Seoul and they'll be the one who visit him. So of course, he's not sure if next time is possible since Yeri is also busy.

"What did you do at my home?"

He talks to Yeri without spare any glance  to her and focusing to the road.

"Nothing much. I talked to your mom, eat my lunch, she showed me around, I saw your pet dog, so cute. And she bought me few things then i left."

"Sounds fun."

"I had fun, and your mom is so kind to me, so i pay her back with giving her son a handicraft after worked so hard for days expecting him to be happy while receiving it, but looks like i failed."

Yeri is opening Jungkoo's flip book on her hands, and she remembers that she spent so much times making it. Of course, overwhelming reactions was not expected from Jungkook, since he often forget about her gift, one time, he left a bluetooth speaker she bought for him when they went to amusement park together at the hotel he's staying. That’s Jeon Jungkook for you.

"No. You did great. "

"But you still don't look happy."

And that’s the end of their conversation, Yeri is aware that Jungkook is annoyed because of lots of thing regarding her visit to his home. But it’s not like she’s doing it on purpose.

***

“Thanks for the ride.” Yeri is letting out a heavy sigh when they finally arrived in front of her dorm. It’s exhausting for not talking to him when she knows that she won’t be able to see Jungkook for long after this.

“Wait.” Yeri turn her face to Jungkook, when he stopping her for opening the door.

“I’m sorry.”

He gives Yeri his and while looking down.

“No, I’m sorry for not telling you about the visit and leaving you behind, I wasn’t doing it on purpose.”

Yeri takes his hand with a smile and giving him back her flip book.

“It’s not about that. I’m sorry, I think I can’t do this anymore.”
Jungkook is letting go of her hands and now turn his body to Yeri, he talks to her while staring at her deeply. It’s serious, and serious Jungkook is never Yeri’s  favorite.

“Yerimie..I don’t think I can give you anything you want from our relationship anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I know at first, I let you to do everything you want with me, you want no string attached, I agree. You told me you have nothing to offer for me, I can accept it..but these days. I don’t know, I want to stop doing that.”

“Why?”

“I just..i don’t want to let you go everytime we saw each other. I don’t want to think that you’re out there doing this kind of relationship with others not me.. “

Yeri is becoming more confused with what he said and slightly offended.

“I’m not..doing it with anyone else.”

“I know. But I’m just so insecure, and I ended up get annoyed easily by you and your small mistakes. I’m afraid that you’re get rid of me one day..since you probably has so many better friends out there.”

He talks to her while caressing her cheeks, and Yeri is honestly taken aback with that. Because she’s different than him, she never thought that Jungkook wil got away from her.

“Of course, there are many people out there,  offering me a better condition and situation with what I have with you right now, more times to spend, more freedom, less fight and unnecessary argument. But I don’t like any of them. I like you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. And also you don’t need to worry if one day you’re tired of me, I’ll be ready to letting you go with smile. You’ve done a lot of things for me, and even with that I should be grateful for the rest of my life. I won’t give you any hard time and holding out your future just because we have this kind of memories together.”

Jungkook lost his smile and now, sit closer to Yeri while holding her hands.

“About that..i also can’t do that. I can’t letting you go with a smile no matter what happened. And even If I said that I get tired of you, you shouldn’t letting me go easily, you should ask me and making me sure to not regret my choice, you need to tell me how I worked hard for you and your happiness, you need to remind me how I tried so hard to be a better person for you. Because I’ll do the same thing if I ever heard you get tired of me. I’ll make you stay no matter what. I won’t give up on you.”

Yeri feels really overwhelming with what he said. It’s so..unreal. She never expect to meet someone who care about her this much in such a young age, she never expect to have so much desire for having someone else as hers in such a busy and adventurous life she has like right now.

“Good. I’m so thankful for that.” Her voice came out weak because she’s trying so hard to not cry in front of Jungkook again tonight.

“I admit that It’s hard for me to tell I love you, I don’t tell it to people often, I’m just saying it to my fans all the time. I also don’t know if I’m worthy enough to tell you that, but judging from what I’ve been doing for you, and the way I feels about you, I think I’m in love with you.”

Yeri is still processing what he said, when Jungkook is already taking control of her heart again. He kissed her, sweet and warm that’s what Yeri feels when he did that. She is aware if Jungkook or her is following by some of their fans or annoying journalist, they will becoming an easy target for tomorrow’s headline, but this is the first time when Yeri doesn’t care about those thing. She’s happy with him, and it’s enough.

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Thanks a lot for staying with me through this story.

have a nice day :)