for someone who loved God so fiercely, that he got jealous of Him loving everything and not just him, oh God, why not just him, it's not his place to fall in love with one reason he was condemned for. for his sin cost him his wings, wings that is his only way to fly into his beloved's side. torn from the bones of his back, feathers limping as life was cut from them. and then he was thrown outside the golden gates of heaven, and from there, he falls,he falls, until he wakes up and finds himself lying in the middle of a beautiful meadow of flowers.

---

the first hour realizing he had fallen and thrown out of heaven was the hardest. his chest heaved with pain and deep breaths, tears continuously falling from his eyes. he did not speak nor question why that happened. he knows the weight of his sin. 

but he just loved, and was it wrong for someone like him?

and he was there, for hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. he was just there at the middle of nowhere. he did not move, nor tried to do anything. he just sat there. time passes by like a blink and an angel doesn't need to eat, nor drink, nor sleep. so he just sat there, thinking if there was another place for him.

and there was none.

---

it had been three months after that when someone found him there.

a human.

"would you like an apple?"

that was the first thing he had said. he looked up and saw kind eyes, lips turned up and smiling at him. his hair was dark and his face was as smooth as a porcelain doll. and he was the embodiment of what he had hated the most. the reason why he's here.

and yet, why can't he feel any hate looking at him?

the human smiled some more. "I'm Seokjin."

---

"do you have a name?" he asked.

"a name..." he repeated. his mouth started to form the word, but his voice wasn't coming to say it. he smiled bitterly. he wasn't an angel anymore. he doesn't have his name, just like his wings. he could never utter those words again. so he shook his head lightly, and looked at his feet.

"then, I'll call you taehyung! Is that okay?"

"taehyung..." he repeated again. "why?"

"i don't know, it just popped on my head. i need something to call you. and taehyung is pretty, right?" seokjin asked, smiling.

he took one last look at his face and mirrored his expression. "...yeah, pretty."

only if you're the one saying it.

---

"taehyung, you should eat." seokjin looked at him worringly, and touched the side of his face lightly.  he took the bowl of food from the table and aimed the spoon on his lips. "please?"

taehyung smiled at him and shook his head, guiding seokjin to sit beside him. they lived in a small town, in a small house, on a small kitchen room meant for the two of them only.

"you haven't eaten anything for a month." seokjin said and his voice trembled a little. "why aren't you eating? don't you like it? just say what you want, i'll cook it for you." his eyes were wet and he was rambling, taehyung knew, because he was worried.

taehyung let out a breath and started to talk. "once upon a time, an angel loved God so much. he fought His battles for Him, stayed in His side, listened to His words. and then one day, God decided to create the sun, then the earth, then the trees and animals. lastly, He made the humans from his own form and rested on the last day. God and the other angels alike loved His creation. but this particular angel was not happy, for God does not look at him anymore. He watched and took care of the creations, especially the humans. and so, this angel tempted the human to eat the forbidden fruit. the humans have sinned and they were cursed to bear the sin, and then their children, and the children of their children. they were cursed to have short lives." taehyung narrated.

"and the angel?" seokjin asked, hand lacing on his fingers.

"and the angel falls from the heaven, unable to fly his way back to God again."

seokjin cried.

---

"who's your most important person?" he asked one day, fingers slightly shivering. from the cold or anxiety, he does not know. but he sure knows what is coming.

"most important person..." seokjin repeated, words hanging on the edge of his lips until a smile appears. "God."

a thump, then pain seemed to spasm into his chest. his breath was caught in his throat and his eyes started to warm. taehyung remembers what it was like to love Him, to feel his warmth and glory. but now, it was all just a memory. it was like knowing that fire is warm without really knowing what warm is. he just have this empty hole, as if his feelings was also ripped from him.

he does not know what it feels to love God anymore, and he can't even remember if he really did.

but he knew, he knew. this person in front of him, was the only thing he'd be scared to lose.

so maybe that's how love feels.

---

"do you know i could see your halo?" jin smiles brightly. "here, it's here!" he said and leaned to him, hands hovering above the crown of his head. "that's why you were so kind, taehyung-ssi."

taehyung looked at him with adoration, noting the subtle tears in the corner of his eyes. maybe this is his punishment. to love and cherish this person so much, that he wouldn't know how to live without them. taehyung smiled. "i don't have any halo, seokjin. it was gone a long time ago."

"then... are you going to get it someday? will you have to leave here?" he asked silently, retreating away and he had to stop himself to pull him back. "please wait until i'm dead."

taehyung knew, that the life of humans are just blink of an eye for angels, with the eternity of their existence, and he was the reason why they can't have eternity anymore. he had known there was another life after the other, and souls shall witness the creation of his own world again. and yet... there is pain. thinking that he would
someday be gone. "you shouldn't say that." he said softly.

a sad smile appeared in is lips. "what? that I would die? i think that's what makes life more meaningful, you know? for what should humans do if there is no end?" seokjin had that kind smile on his lips again. "you haven't answered my question."

taehyung looked at him for a little while. "get it? perhaps not. i'll never have another halo nor wings again."

---

"did you know I find this beautiful?" seokjin asked while he touched taehyung's back, fingertips grazing the scar where his wings was before.

"i don't." taehyung said and looked at his face. "don't you think it's hideous, that this thing in front of you was the reason humans are hurting?"

"i don't." he echoed and smiled at him. "i have seen it so many times and i still think it's beautiful. i find you beautiful." seokjin whispered and scooted closer to him, the warmth of their bodies under the blankets against the cold wind of the night. fire crackles beside them and taehyung thought seokjin was beautiful, too.

"i pray for you." seokjin said after for a while.

taehyung eyes bore in his face.

"every night, i would ask God. of why you have to fall. of why that should happen. but He does not answer. so I pray he forgives you. I pray he takes you back again."

shock made taehyung speechless, lips hanging while he looked at the tears in the corner of seokjin's eyes.

"but that was before," he continued, "now I pray to let me have a longer life. so I could be with you a little more. and then I became selfish. I don't want Him to take you back. I don't want to ask that, and I don't want to lose you. Will you forgive me for I have sinned, too?" 

shaking breaths left taehyung's lips as he pulls seokjin in his arms. tears started to fall and his heart hurt so much he thought it would break. he kissed seokjin's temple, completely realizing one thing. now he knew why God had loved them so much.

for they were beautiful creations.

for he love a human, too.

---

he does not age and he could only watch as seokjin started to.

it had been seven decades and 4 years and seokjin was gray and old. his back hurts and he doesn't like moving so much, too. but taehyung was always there for him. to take care of him, to cook for him, to tuck him to bed.

seokjin now was so shy because he was old and taehyung was still young, he doesn't like to bath together anymore, nor sleep in one bed together. but taehyung doesn't care. he was beside him every second he can because human lives are fleeting and it was just a blink of an eye for an angel.

now taehyung was scared, scared he'd wake up one day and seokjin would be in heaven and he'd be alone. but he talks to God, that if that ever happens, He'll love seokjin, too just like taehyung did.

it was one afternoon, while the sun sets behind the mountains.

"taehyung, i'm tired." seokjin said after a while.

"do you want to go to bed?"

seokjin did not seem to hear it. "but I don't want to leave you. I want to be with you longer."

air escapes taehyung lungs and he can't breathe, he can't breathe, he forgot how to as he looks at seokjin's hunched form. he wanted to cry, he wanted to ask him to stay but seokjin is tired and he can't get his rest because taehyung would be left behind. he can't be this selfish. he had been with him for 74 years and 6 months and 8 days and seokjin is tired. he have to let him go.

taehyung sits in front of seokjin and held his hand tightly, lips forming a smile. "i want to be with you, too. but it's okay. i'll be fine."

seokjin smiled back and taehyung still thinks he's beautiful. "then a little more."
---

it was a cold night, when taehyung tucks seokjin to bed and lies beside him when seokjin said, "do you think it's okay now?"

taehyung falls silent for a while and then he pulls seokjin closer to him, his bony figure fits right next to him. "yes, my love. you can sleep now."

"thank you." 

pain racked his body, and tears falls uncontrollably in his eyes. he hugged him more tightly, smoothing his white hair and kissing his forehead. "who's your most important person?" taehyung asked with so much trembling.

"you. more than anyone." seokjin said immediately. "who's your most important person?" he asked back.

a sob escaped his lips but he smiled and looked in his eyes. his human. his only human. "you. more than anyone. more than God Himself."

seokjin smiled back and closed his eyes.

he slept.

and seokjin never woke up again.

 

 

 

 

END

 

hey i was crying a lot too while i'm typing this and also I think there's a lot of error I didn't proofread sorry I'll fix it soon bye

 

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