01

The thought of being with you, forever

Sehun finds himself staring again.

At Jongin.

They're at their favourite coffee shop. Jongin is smiling wholeheartedly to him, excitedly talking about this new game he bought, about the characters, the quality, the new updates and what not. At one indefinite point in time, Sehun found himself staring at Jongin, not paying any attention to what he was saying. Sehun was too busy staring at the gleam in Jongin's eyes, at the tiny crinkles that show up every time Jongin smiles or laughs, and at the way the other resembled a breath of fresh air that helped Sehun get through some tough times.

Sehun smiles down at his coffee cup, holding the mug in his palms, feeling the warmth soak into his fingers, and he wonders. He wonders if Jongin's skin was this warm. He wonders how lovely it would feel if they held hands. Sehun wonders about many things while pretending to listen to Jongin. The latter too engrossed and excited to notice that what Sehun was really paying attention to, wasn't the story, but him instead.

Sehun doesn't know when these feelings started.

All he knows is that they've been there, under the surface. Hidden underneath layers of doubt, of anxiety and of fear. At one point, those feelings managed to bubble up to the surface, and Sehun took a deep breath to let them sink in. There was no doubt anymore. Those feelings whispered into his soul exactly what he had feared to hear. Love. Love is what they said. Jongin is what appeared in his thoughts.

That is how Sehun realised he was in love with Jongin.

You would imagine that the first thing Sehun should do, is feel afraid of his feelings, of these dangerous feelings that would ruin his relationship with his bestfriend. Yet, that wasn't Sehun's first emotion. It was not fear. Strangely enough, Sehun felt happy. For the first time in a long time, he was happy. Sehun was happy and excited. He was in love with Jongin and that made him happy. He was happy it was Jongin and not anyone else.

Then came the flutters, the butterflies each time his phone rang, each time he got a text message, each time he saw Jongin. 

Hearing Jongin's voice through the phone seemed so different now. Sehun like an idiot, couldn't help but smile.

Texting Jongin was exciting, every little message was exciting, and Sehun like the fool that he was, couldn't help but smile.

Meeting Jongin, at college, at his appartment, at their favourite café, always seemed like a new adventure. This time Sehun tried to hide his goofy smile.

Sehun didn't think about anything else. He didn't think about the fact that this was an unrequited