1. Jonghyun is sitting in his waiting room after he finished his makeup when Daniel walks in. Nu’Est just made their comeback (finally) and Wanna One is promoting too so Jonghyun had been looking forward to seeing them.

“Hyung, it’s been a long time!” Daniel says, grinning.

Smiling, Jonghyun stands to give Daniel a hug. “Well, you’ve been really busy lately.”

“Not too busy to see my favorite hyung,” Daniel replies, wrapping Jonghyun tightly in his embrace.

Jonghyun squeezes back, glad to finally be able to spend some time with Daniel. Daniel doesn’t let go quickly and Jonghyun asks if everything is okay.

“I’m just so tired, hyung,” Daniel says, letting all his exhaustion show in his voice since he’s around someone he can trust. Daniel relaxes the tension in his muscles and lets all his weight rest on Jonghyun so that Jonghyun is the only thing keeping Daniel standing.

Jonghyun just holds Daniel. He couldn’t console Daniel any other way. He couldn’t honestly tell Daniel that it would all be okay or that things would get better. Jonghyun wishes he could but the reality is that Daniel is a hot commodity that the companies would always take advantage of.

“It’s just so hard. I’m grateful for all my fans and the public interest, I really am. But I’m so tired sometimes that I can barely tell if I’m happy.”

Jonghyun could tell Daniel that his popularity would pass, as it probably would, but that wouldn’t help much either.

“I barely sleep and the company choses everything I eat. I go on so many programs now that the other members are starting to get jealous and I don’t know what to do.”

Jonghyun could tell Daniel that Wanna One would be over soon anyway so he shouldn’t worry too much about what the others say. That doesn’t seem like a good option either.

“I’m just so tired,” Daniel repeats, sagging a little more.

Jonghyun decides to go with the one thing that will always be true, no matter what. “I’ve got you. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Jonghyun escorts Daniel over to the couch that is too small for both of them. They sit down and Daniel rests his head on Jonghyun’s shoulder. He falls asleep almost instantly. Jonghyun doesn’t mind and just grabs the script for his next show to read over while Daniel rests. He wishes dearly Daniel didn’t have this burden but their job will always have negatives and they both love the stage too much to walk away.

After a while, his neck starts to ache from the extra weight on one shoulder. Shifting a little doesn’t help so Jonghyun decides to rest his head on top of Daniel’s. It’s a bit intimate but, what the hell, it’s comfortable. Daniel sleeps soundly for almost an hour, protected by his tiny leader.

All too soon, Seongwoo and Jisung walk in, looking for Daniel. When Jisung couldn’t find Daniel during his roll call, Seongwoo knew immediately to check with Jonghyun first. “Hey,” Seongwoo greets, looking like an excited puppy to see Jonghyun. Jisung just shakes his head in exasperation at the sight of Daniel using Jonghyun like a pillow.

Knowing what they were there for, Jonghyun shakes Daniel awake. “Daniel, the guys are here to get you.”

Daniel groggily rubs his head and straightens up.

“We gotta go, Niel, it’s almost our turn for the pre-recording,” Seongwoo explains.

Daniel grunts in response. “See you later, hyung,” Daniel mumbles as he walks away, still half asleep.

“See you around,” Jonghyun says to all three but Seongwoo and Daniel had already left.

Jisung gives him a deep nod that Jonghyun returned, from one leader to another. Just like that, they are all gone and Jonghyun’s side is cold. Shrugging, he goes back to his games until Nu’Est’s turn.

 

2. Their schedules don’t always match up at the music shows; sometimes Nu’Est will have a prerecording but Wanna One will perform at the live show, or the other way around. But the next time both groups do perform at the same time, Daniel finds Jonghyun again. Jonghyun, who had been sitting on the couch, suddenly finds himself with Daniel’s head on his lap as Daniel dramatically flops down.

“I saw you and Dongho on Please Take Care of My Fridge yesterday,” Daniel says as greeting.

 Jonghyun ducks his head with a smile because Daniel must have made sure to watch the show in real time. “Yeah, it was really fun to have chefs make food just for me.”

 “Isn’t it? I really enjoyed when I was on too. We were paired with gugudan, I don’t know if you watched-“ Daniel pauses to check with Jonghyun and smiles when Jonghyun nods –“so I think they have a theme of pairing Produce 101 seasons 1 and 2.”

“The Weki Meki girls were really nice,” Jonghyun adds.

“Pretty too?” Daniel asks shamelessly.

“Most people would say so,” Jonghyun reassures, not even hesitating with his phrasing.

Daniel grunts, happy with the answer. Content, he closes his eyes to sleep a little.

Jonghyun isn’t surprised this time when he nods off immediately and grabs his phone to play some games. After clearing multiple levels, Jonghyun decides to look through his social media and some articles. With one hand freed up, he isn’t quite sure where to put it because Daniel is everywhere. Deciding that his head is the least creepy place, Jonghyun rests his hand there but it isn’t long before he starts running his hand through Daniel’s hair. Daniel’s breathing slows even more so Jonghyun decides he likes it. And Jonghyun might like it too. It feels incredibly peaceful in their world of chaos and constant movement.

“Hyung,” Daniel says suddenly. Jonghyun jumps because he hadn’t realized that Daniel had woken. There is a weird edge to his voice that Jonghyun recognizes as bitterness. “I wish you had made the Top 11. It’s hard doing this without you. The guys are all great and Jisung is one of my closest friends but we needed you, our nation’s leader. We needed your stupid laugh and your calmness and your stage advice. I needed you.”

Jonghyun absorbs all this quietly. He honestly had thought that Daniel got over this. He knows Daniel was angry and shocked at first but he hadn’t mentioned it in months. “I wish you were in Wanna One,” Daniel repeats softly, running out of steam.

It breaks Jonghyun’s heart that he couldn’t agree.

After a couple minutes of awkward silence where Daniel doesn’t get the response he obviously expected, Daniel stretches across Jonghyun’s lap, then gets up. “I should go, the stylist noonas are probably looking for me.”

Jonghyun hums in agreement. “Just remember that I’m always on your side, Niel.”

Daniel nods and turns away, holding those words close to his heart as he goes through the rest of the day.

 

3. Wanna One finishes their promotions eventually but Daniel gets an MC position so he can keep seeing Jonghyun. The Nu’Est stylists and managers aren’t surprised to see Daniel anymore and they barely notice when he sneaks in. Jonghyun is lying on the floor; his back has been hurting lately so he’s trying to straighten it. Daniel rushes over and sits down cross-legged by Jonghyun.

“Hyung, you will NOT believe what I just saw!” Daniel exclaims.

“Jihoon and Mina from gugudan making out?” Jonghyun answers, cracking one eye open. Daniel tries to ignore how handsome that makes him look.

“No! Wait, what? Are those two together?”

“Yep, apparently Jihoon thought she was really pretty when they filmed Battle Trip together and they’ve been seeing each other even since.”

“How do you even know that?”

“JR knows everything,” Jonghyun replies, with a little smile to himself.

Daniel just smacks him across the belly for the lame joke and for not revealing his methods. “Anyway, no, that’s not what I just saw but it’s kind of close. I just saw Daehwi and Dongho snuggling!”

Jonghyun just shrugs. “You didn’t know they were together?”

“NO!” Daniel says with exasperation. “No one ever tells me anything! I thought Daehwi was still afraid of Dongho.”

“Some people like that,” Jonghyun responds, blushing despite his nonchalance. Daniel grins down at him predatorily, making Jonghyun blush harder. “I mean, I think Daehwi likes Dongho’s intensity. They’re kind of cute together now that Daehwi doesn’t look like a scared fawn whenever Dongho meets his eyes.”

“Whatever,” Daniel says, huffing as he plopped down next to Jonghyun, lying on his outstretched arm. “I just can’t believe no one thought I might want to know.”

“It’s not like you’ve had time,” Jonghyun adds, mourning the use of his arm.

Daniel grunts in response. “Speaking of, did you see Hyunbin on Dunia with Yunho-sunbaenim? I swear, I think Hyunbin was screaming like a fangirl on the inside.”

Jonghyun chuckles a little. “Don’t tell him I told you this, but Hyunbin used to have posters of Yunho all over his room.”

“Really? That explains a lot. Hyunbin was practically simpering.”

“I think we could easily have a new couple in the family if Yunho was interested.” Jonghyun smiles a little at the thought. They would make a hot couple.

“I’m surprised you’re not more protective of Hyunbin,” Daniel admits.

“I was his leader, not his father!” Jonghyun replies, punching Daniel in the arm.

Daniel chuckles and settles back down. They talk more about what the Produce boys have been up to (Ha Minho never resurfaced) and the new couples before Daniel drifts off. Jonghyun is just about to join him when Nu’Est get called to the stage. Aron wordlessly hands Jonghyun a pillow to switch out his arm for. Daniel turns at the loss of warmth when Jonghyun stands up but doesn’t wake. Jonghyun leaves him with a fond smile, looking forward to talking more, but Daniel is gone by the time Jonghyun returns.

4. Daniel is so used to being the one asleep that he is surprised to see Jonghyun sleeping on a mat at the next week’s filming. After debating how best to sleep on Jonghyun from this angle, Daniel gives up and just lies across Jonghyun’s entire body. His frame is so much bigger that he practically obscures Jonghyun from view but Daniel finds that the position is surprisingly comfortable. He snuggles into Jonghyun’s upper chest, getting ready to fall asleep, when Jonghyun says, “Jesus, I thought I was suffocating in my dream.”

Daniel smiles brightly up at him. “Nope, just me.”

“Smart-aleck. Can you at least try not to squish me?”

Daniel hums like he is thinking about it – he really didn’t realize how uncomfortable it would be for Jonghyun – and shifts his hips so most of his weight is off Jonghyun. He doesn’t move from off Jonghyun’s chest though. He wouldn’t do that unless Jonghyun specifically asked. He is too comfy.

“I can’t help that you’re so puny.”

“Hey, I’ve been working out lately!” Jonghyun cries in defense.

“Yeah, I saw Minki’s post on your birthday. You’re still tiny though.”

Jonghyun huffs in irritation. 

Daniel’s face turns serious. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see you on your birthday, hyung.”

“It’s okay, Niel, you were busy. You had to work on your own birthday, it’s not like you could take mine off,” Jonghyun responds softly.

“But still. I tried to call you but the manager wouldn’t give me his phone.” If Daniel could ever be described as pouting, he was doing it then.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re here now.” Jonghyun smiles up at him.

Daniel stops to consider for a moment, wondering if he should say what he wants to in that moment. He wonders if Jonghyun’s words mean that he feels the same. Well hell, never let it be said that Kang Daniel was a coward.

“Hyung, after all this is over, do you think we could ever be more?”

Jonghyun draws in a quick breath, taken by surprise. He had honestly never thought about it, about having more, having it all. How could he? He hadn’t even known Daniel was interested in him that way. All the possibilities race through Jonghyun’s head and, before he can answer, Daniel gets called away for an MC cut. Daniel turns away, trying not to let Jonghyun see the hurt etched on his face. It had been a while since Daniel had tasted a rejection this bitter and so he practically ran out of the room, away from a shell-shocked Jonghyun.

Jonghyun doesn’t call out for him. He couldn’t when he still doesn’t know his answer. Jonghyun sits down in a stylist chair while the makeup noona fixes his eyeliner and he thinks. He thinks about Daniel. Daniel’s gummy smile and his genuine laugh. He thinks about the way his stomach felt funny when Daniel spoke in dialect on shows. It had honestly been a while since anyone swooped Jonghyun off his feet so the feeling had been so unfamiliar. He thinks about all the times they spent practicing together and how Daniel trusting him so much somehow didn’t add to his leader burdens. He thinks about the warmth and unexpected familiarity of Daniel sleeping against him and Daniel’s weird obsession with green onions and Daniel’s scent that somehow still reminds him on the unrestrained ocean. Jonghyun thinks about all his memories with Daniel and everything Daniel means to Jonghyun. Is he willing to take that step to have him? After much thought, Jonghyun realizes that he has his answer, along with a goofy grin on his face.

5. At the next music show recording, Jonghyun arrives early and goes looking for Daniel. He had tried to find him last time but Daniel had apparently disappeared as soon as his filming ended. Jonghyun opens Daniel’s waiting room door to find a sleeping Daniel. Jonghyun really shouldn’t be surprised, but Daniel always slept around him these days. Maybe Daniel really is mad at him. Well if Daniel could be brave, then so could Jonghyun. Jonghyun strides over to the couch and lies next to Daniel, spooning him as best as he can.

Nothing happens at first. Jonghyun had expected Daniel to wake up right away so he’s a little put-out. He huffs in disappointment and has the fascinating experience of watching the hairs on the back of Daniel’s neck rise, waking Daniel.

Twisting to see who’s behind him, Daniel spots Jonghyun and says “What the hell, hyung?”

“This is my answer to the question you asked the other day. Yes.”

Comprehension slowly dawns on Daniel’s face. “Yes?”

“I’d like to try,” Jonghyun says, feeling hopeful for tomorrow. Daniel looks like he wants to go in for a kiss in front of everyone and as much as Jonghyun would like to see just how well they fit together, he stops him by nuzzling Daniel’s hair.

Daniel gets it right away and settles back down to sleep some more. “Fine, but later.”

“Later,” Jonghyun agrees and that goofy grin is back in full force.

“You’re a terrible big spoon by the way,” Daniel says in retribution for the -blocking.

Jonghyun giggles and lets his muscles relax to sleep next to his friend boyfriend Daniel. They have all the time in the world to find out who the best big spoon is. They both drift away quickly and all the stylists coo and restrain themselves from taking pictures.

Some time later, Daniel wakes up. Unsure if it was all a dream, he snaps his head around to see if Jonghyun is still there. Woken up by his sudden movement, Jonghyun leans forward and drops a kiss on his forehead to reassure Daniel he didn’t leave. Smiling, but rolling his eyes inside at the sweetness, Daniel turns back to fall asleep again with Jonghyun cuddling into his back.

As nice as it is, Daniel still prefers if Jonghyun is the pillow and he lets Jonghyun know as much for many years to come.

 

 

Author's Note

let's all pretend that Wanna One isn't concluding their promotions this week. this isn't as good as i'd like to to be but i wanted to post before they had their last broadcast

this was inspired by me thinking about daniel needing someone to comfort him and someone's comment on Master King about their size difference and how awesome it must be when they cuddle

comments are majorly appreciated!