Kris' POV - 

 

 

I glance down at Yixing as he listens to the MC, his brown hair styled in his fringe and his slim body dressed in his outfit similar to the others for the promoting of History, his eyes spaced out even if he's listening and has the glaze of pure innocence MCs seems to miss when looking at him, and his cheek having a small dent from his invisible smile he has but if someone looks close enough they'll see it.

We're on a show called Happy Camp for the first time, the MCs have already teased Tao and are now explaining a game called 'Ugly Meter'. Yixing has stayed glued to my side, not that I mind, it's actually comforting that I can feel his arm behind mine and that I feel him occasionally bump into me gently when he shifts or laughs.

When we're asked to predict what score we'll get, 0 being the best and 10 the worst, I say five just to be between good and bad. When they ask Yixing, I immediately think 0 because he's the most handsome in my opinion, he seems to think otherwise.

"6" I have half a mind to state he's a zero but I keep my mouth shut, listening to everyone else instead.

By the time we actually start, Minseok going first, I feel someone hug my arm making me look down only to see Yixing watching everyone with a smile as he hugs my arm and gently pulls me back with our members, staying glued to my side. 

--- 

Standing on stage with my members, I'm out of breath from dancing and running around the stage, listening to fans screaming our names and Chen and Luhan who playfully chase each other for the crowds entertainment. I flinch in surprise when a gentle hand appears on my shoulder as I wave to fans, looking next to me I see Yixing, smiling widely as he waves to the crowd, leaning on my side gently. His actions just makes more people scream and cheer, I don't mind, I enjoy his presence so I put my arm around him.

---

Looking through the isles for something to eat is rather boring when it's just me and the others are off finding other things, I'm in the frozen isle, my eyes lazily scanning items in freezers. That is until suddenly I hear a cute giggle before Yixing appears next to me, his deep dimple on full display and he hops instead of walking next to me, his considerably smaller arm compared to mine; slipping around my bicep. His eyes shine with a certain innocence I've only seen in him and a child, but also a dazed look making him seem high to those to don't know him.

"Hi, Fanfan~" he happily singsongs, hugging my arm as he looks up at me, continuing to hop like a bunny forcing a chuckle from me.

"Hey, Yixing. Whats up?"

He giggles adorably at the question as if I just tickled him, "Nothing, except for the sky." He stares at me, blinking like he's waiting for an reaction to the joke, but it's so overused by now its not actually funny; if it ever was.

"Aw! Jongdae said it was funny! He lied to me! That meanie." I laugh at his innocence and trust on the troll of the group, his pout pulling strings on my heart.

"Don't listen to Jongdae about jokes, Xing. You'll end up pulling a bad prank and get in trouble." He nods quickly and child like, letting an 'Okay, Gégé' slide before his eyes light up again.

I don't have time to react before he's pulling me along with him to a freezer that holds chocolate ice cream and Popsicles, hopping like the small bunny he is as we stop. His small hand is now holding tightly to my large one, his other pressed against the glass as he looks at all the flavors and tubs of ice cream.

"Can we get one, Fan Gé? For hot days after practice? It'd be nice to cool off, don't you think?" Yixing looks over his shoulder at me, waiting for an answer that he may not want to hear. I would love to let him get ice cream, I would love to give him anything but our manager has strictly set a diet for us and we can't have ice cream, or any junk food.

"No, Xingie, we can't get ice cream. Manager Gé has us on a diet, remember? No junk food, including ice cream." My answer makes him pout but nod, understanding and not complaining or whining.

Instead he looks in the freezer next to the ice cream, smiling when he sees something and quickly grabs it before presenting a bag of broccoli to me. "Is this healthy? Would Manager Gé accept this? Its not ice cream."

He blinks cutely at me, forcing another laugh from me I as nod, taking the bag from him and placing it in the kart I've been pushing since we got here. It always amazes me how Yixing adapts his life to fit whatever our manager tells us, he dances whenever the manager says he needs to teach us a new dance when the choreographer can't, he eats what he's given and doesn't complain if its a small apple or not a full meal, and he always listens to whatever our manager says. 

---

Walking through the airport is rather dangerous for us now considerating all the fans that crowd the place and make it impossible for us to walk through, even with security.

Fans scream and some chant our names as we walk through them, ignoring the cameras in our face and the hands that try to touch us, just following security to where a car is waiting for us.

A body attaches itself to me, an arm around my bicep, holding me tightly making me look behind me, expecting a fan but I only see Yixings mask covered face. His backpack strap is now lowered to his elbow and his hoodie seems like its been pulled, both his arms are around my arm and his body is basically glued to mine as his eyes stay trained on the floor, trusting me to guide him through.

I can only assume a fan had attempted to grab him because he looked fine on the plane and not like he's been a victim of a crazy girl. Wanting to comfort him and give him a sense of protection, I remove my arm from his grip, his small whimper not going unnoticed, I place it over his shoulders and draw him closer to my side.

Immediately feeling him relax slightly and his hands attache to my pants pockets in case someone is strong enough to actually pull him from me, which I won't allow. Fans scream louder, obviously seeing the interaction that just happened and yelling how adorable Yixing is or how good of a leader I am for protecting him.

By the time we actually get to the van that's picking us up, Yixing has stayed glued to me even if a fan or two attempted to steal him away again, I'm positive if I didn't have him under my arm and holding him tightly; he'd be in the hands of some crazy fans.

When we relax in the van, Yixing is next to me in the middle seats with our members both behind us and in front of us. My arm rest over his shoulders again, causing him to involuntarily fall against my side, a sigh coming from his lips.

"Are you okay? What happened to you?" I ask, referring to his Disheveled look when he grabbed me for protection. I watch him lean his head on my shoulder, his eyes closed and his body relaxing now that we're out of the craziness.

"I was walking behind Luhan Gé and suddenly I'm grabbed, they pulled me away from lulu but security got me away before they could take me." he explains, only causing a feeling of anger to bubble in me, our fans are lovely and all but the ones that think they can just kidnap us are just criminals wanting victims.

They shouldn't grab him like they did and possibly traumatize him, he could decide to leave us for his safety and no one wants that. Especially me, he was my first Chinese friend at the company, he's like my best friend and I don't know what I'd do it he left.

"You're okay, Xingie, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." I give him a small squeeze with my arm, earning a giggle from the dancer.

"Thank you, Fanfan." 

---

Staying in hotels for us is complicated because there's six of us, plus management and assistants of the management, also other people that follow us that work for someone with us. So when our manager comes to where we're standing in a fancy hotel holding three room keys, I already know there's going to be trouble picking whos with who.

He hands me the key cards, instructing me to handle my members before walking away to deal with his management people.

"Okay, whos with who?" I ask, gaining everyones attention from the fountain in the middle of the lobby.

"I want Minseok!" Luhan immediately yells, grabbing onto Minseok who stumbles from the shock but doesn't argue with the blonde.

"I want Xing Xing Gé!" Chen announces, acting like a koala and wrapping around a confused Yixing, he probably didn't hear me ask about rooms from looking around and hadn't expected to be Chens choice.

"No way, I wanna sleep with Xingie gégé." Tao also announces, trying to take Yixing away from a whining Chen.

Yixing only blinks, looking completely lost as he's pulled between the two youngest. I would interrupt them but it's actually amusing seeing them argue over the Dancer, he doesn't usually share a bed with anyone but apparently these rooms are only one bed according what our manager had told us in the car, meaning someone will share a bed with him.

"Gégé pick one of us! Wait, no pick me!" Tao pouts at Yixing, earning a whine and a head slap from Chen as both continue to grip Yixing tightly against their body's so he's trapped between them.

"How about this.." Yixing starts, forcing his limbs and waist free from the youngers grips, and smiling sweetly at both of them.

"To avoid disappointing one of you and make it fair, how about I just share with Yifan Gé? That way I don't have to pick and you two can stop arguing." He suggest, stepping closer to me as the childish boys whine and pout.

"That is okay, right Gé? Can I room with you?" Yixing asks me, making me smile a little from how he respectfully asked before anything else happened to make sure I'm okay with it.

Of course I am, to be honest, I'd like to room with him because I know he doesn't normally share a bed and I'd like bragging rights over Tao and Chen.

"Yes, Yixing, you can. We better go rest, so let's go." I don't necessarily wait for anyone to argue with me as I turn and follow our manager to the elevators, hearing the guys run to catch up so they don't get lost. 

As soon as me and Yixing enter our room, I fall onto the bed, completely exhausted to the point I could fall asleep right now. I almost do, if it weren't for the cute giggle that reminds me Yixing is with me.

Opening my eyes, I see him opening my bag with a small smile as be removes pair of clothes, I raise my eyebrows in confusion, debating if he forgot which bag is mine and his or if he's purposely going through mine. I watch him walk in front of me, smiling down at me sweetly as he sets the clothes down next to me then suddenly goes to his knees at my feet.

My body fly's up, wanting to make sure he's not doing what I originally thought of, I relax slightly when I see him untying my shoes and removing them for me.

"Xingie, what are you doing?" I ask confused, not understanding why he's doing this.

He glances up at me as he places my shoe to the side, "Gé looked tired so I thought I'd help. Would you like to use the bathroom to change? Or I can give you the room to change."

He removes my other shoe then sits back on his knees, waiting for an answer as I blink, I don't know why him showing me so much care causes my stomach to turn with unusual feelings, good feelings I think.

Its like my body had decided to let my heart case after him but at the same time not, like after being with him for long and seeing him everyday has somehow grown into something more than bandmates or friends, even brothers.

My stomach has things floating around in it from seeing him care for me like he has hundreds of times before, and my heart is being pulled by his dimple that shines as he smiles sweetly at me. I don't understand this feelings and it scares me, I haven't had this feeling in my heart or stomach towards anyone, I don't know what to do.

"I'll take the bathroom, thanks, Xingie." I answer him, watching him nod cutely and hop up like child, going to his bag and looking through it. I stare at him for another few seconds just trying to figure out my feelings over his personality and the cute things he does.

His dimple never leaves his cheek as he pulls out some clothes, humming a small tune as he does and allowing his body is flinch with each small beat he makes as if wanting to dance, he just looks content and happy. I shake my head, getting up and grabbing the clothes he got me to sleep in before walking to the bathroom, once I close I door I sigh.

I don't understand why I have these feelings so suddenly, I've known him for some long and he's like brother to me, why get these feelings towards him so suddenly? It doesn't make sense to me. I look down at the clothes, seeing he picked out a pair of basketball shorts and a wife beater for me, I would've got the same cause it is sorta hot tonight.

I change quickly, wanting to sleep and get out in case Yixing needs the bathroom, I don't want him waiting if he does. Once I'm changed, I gather my clothes and open the door, my breathing pausing when I see a shirtless Yixing in a pair of shorts that display his muscled thighs.

His torso is also on display, his defined collar bones screaming for attention just like his faint abs from all the practicing he does, his skin is pale but beautiful none the less. He doesn't notice me as he pulls on an oversized light pink sweater that doesn't hide his collar bones but instead his hands.

When Yixing does notice me, he smiles innocently as if I didn't just see him half for probably the first time, we always been relatively careful about changing in bathrooms and such so we wouldn't see each other and possibly have a awkward moment or two. Or at least I have, he doesn't seem bothered.

"Are the clothes okay, Gé? I thought you'd like something cool for the hot weather." He asks, showing his dimple again as he takes my clothes and folds them before placing them next to my bag on a dresser.

"Yeah, thanks." Is all I say, deciding to ignore everything that just happened and sleep my feelings off. I collapse on the bed, which has the blankets folded back, probably from Yixing.

Before I can close my eyes, Yixing catches my attention by climbing up the bed on his hands and knees, causing me to blink away sudden naughty thoughts of him as he smiles at me. I watch him sit next to me, covering us then switching the lamp off, leaving us in darkness besides the moons light coming in through the windows.

"Goodnight, Fanfan, sleep well." I hear him say, feeling him shift as he lays down on his side.

I return the sentence, letting my eyes focus on the darkness, when the do I see Yixing facing me with his eyes closed and his plump lips parted slightly, his sleeve covered hands under his chin as he snuggles into the pillow. 

---

Going to Disneyland is fun and all, but the lines are long and when your not next to a water ride it gets hot and boring. Like now, I'm with Tao and Yixing in a line for some ride I already forgot the name of, Tao is behind me taking selfies with mickey ears and Yixing is next to me.

I lean on the railing, attempting to see how long we'll still be here from how many people are in front of us, sighing when I decide it'll probably be an hour or something close to it.

"Gé smile would you? This is fun." Yixing pokes my stomach, forcing my attention to him only to see his deep dimple and dazed innocent eyes looking up at me.

"Which part? Standing here or standing here?" I ask, raising my eyebrows as he giggles, successfully making two men in front of us turn to glance at him as if to make sure he's actually a man.

When they see he is they look at what his wearing, gray jeans and a white tank top, both nodding then going about their business, leaving me confused. What did they agree on?

"No, Gégé, watching the other people have fun while we wait. Look at them, they seem to happy." Yixing grabs my attention again, stepping closer to me to look over the railing as the coaster carrying people passes us.

Instead of watching them, I'm more focused on how his body is against my side as he leans on the railing, his arm pressed against mine like his hip and the smile he has as his head follows the rides as they pass instead of using his eyes. Making looking cute seem easy and simple when some have a hard time, it is simple and easy to him though, being cute is basically his job, he doesn't talk much in interviews so he just sits there with his funny cute blank expression, and well, be cute.

"Excuse me," I look over Yixing, who doesn't understand English well enough to respond to it, seeing the two guys in front of us turned to us again, the one of the right having to look up at me to actually see me clearly while the left is watching Yixing.

"Does your friend understand English?" The right man asks, glancing at Yixing as he gestures to the dancer, talking slowly as if I'd understand any better or like I don't know English.

I have half a mind to lie to him and say the unicorn isn't my friend but my boyfriend, just to somewhat protect Yixing from some guys who seem to have a plan of some sort but I know Yixing doesn't like lying and if he knew I did, he'd be disappointed.

"No, he doesn't. Is something wrong?" I ask in English, causing Yixing to look up at me hearing my voice but in a different way. He then turns his head see who I'm speaking with, seeing both guys staring at him at his sudden movement, the left man smirking lightly when the dancer inches closer to me seeming uncomfortable.

"No, nothings wrong. We just thought he was cute is all, would you please tell him that?"

I fight not to roll my eyes, the con's of speaking English in a Chinese group is honestly ridiculous, I should just pretend I don't know english. I nudge Yixing making him immediately turn back to me, blinking in confusion of what's being said.

"Are you uncomfortable?" I ask knowing we're safe from being understood, and wanting to make sure he's okay with the way the left man is staring at him, like he's a piece of meat.

"Why is he staring at me like that, Fanfan? Did I do something?" Yixing ignores my question, sounding like a child that got scolded making my heart break cause he didn't do anything except be cute.

"No, Xingie, they just think your cute. Thats why he's staring like that, he thinks your cute." I have a feeling I lied to him, that kind of staring isn't just because he's cute, I've seen to many fanboys give him the same look and know for a fact it isn't because he's adorable.

Yixing only nods, turning slightly to the men to give a smile and half bow, mumbling a thank you.

"He said thank you." I translate, hoping that's the end to our interaction as I place my arm on Yixings shoulder like hes an arm rest. Both men look between us, seeming to question something but quickly forget whatever it is as thethey focus on Yixing again.

"Is he gay? Cause if he would like, we'd be happy to have him join us later in our hotel room, we'd treat him wonderfully." The left man finally speaks, glancing at me as I feel another bubble of anger swell in me like when fans tried to kidnap the dancer.

I now struggle not to show my anger, the mere thought of these men touching Yixing in any way adding to the bubble. I can't believe people actually ask for strangers to join in their ual activitys, especially someone who doesn't understand a word being spoke. I would just take Yixing and Tao away but Tao begged for me and yhe dancer to ride this ride with him, if I did that, both would be disappointed.

"Whats wrong, Fan Gé? You're really tense suddenly." Yixing asks, sounding concerned as he turns so he's facing me completely, causing my arm to fall from his shoulder and the men behind him to shamelessly look at his .

I look down at him upon feeling his hands on my biceps, massaging gently as if the reason I'm tense is a physical one instead of anger, his head is tilted as he stares curiously at me.

"The men want you to join them in their hotel room, Xingie. I'm only upset they asked to do such things with you." I explain shortly, watching him blink as he figures out what exactly I mean.

It takes a few seconds, but then he gasps as his eyes widen and his lips part in I assume is shock, his own body tensing as he glances back to the men, who smile as if they didn't just ask for .

"I don't want to, Fanfan, don't let them take me please." He shakes his head as he looks back to me, his arms circling around my waist as he hides his face in my neck.

The action breaks my heart knowing he's trying to hide from the men but it also makes me feel good that he came to me for comfort and not Tao or just leave to deal by himself. He trust me enough to protect him from fans and these men, it makes me feel pride as a leader and his friend.

"He doesn't do things like that with strangers, it makes him uncomfortable. So no, he won't join you." I tell the men as I hold Yixings waist gently, attempting to hold my anger but a small growl accidentally escapes, which both men heard according to their eyebrows lifting.

"I figured you were a possessive boyfriend, understandable, he's very adorable and handsome. Your lucky, please apologize to him for us, we didn't mean to make him uncomfortable. Have a good day."

I blink, losing everything he said after hearing the label 'boyfriend'. Why would he think that? We're not dating, I'm not even positive Yixing is gay, even then I'm not so it couldn't happen.

And possessive? How am I possessive for wanting to protect my dancer? He's too pure to be involved in a with two men who doesn't know him, they wouldn't know where his sensitive parts are or how to use them to their advantage.

They wouldn't know to blow on his neck or do anything with it actually, they wouldn't be gentle because they wouldn't know of his injuried waist or back, they wouldn't know anything. That being said, I'm not gay, I just know my friend well. 

---

Having Yixing next to me during interviews and shows has become a need, I need him next to me to calm any nerves I might have and such, also just knowing he's safe at my side helps greatly.

So when I stand with the rest of my Exo members at an event, getting ready to do our slogan, and I notice instead of my Yixing next to me, I find Kyungsoo with the dancer on his other side.

I shift, somewhat uncomfortable with the change of the short body next to mine, attempting to calm myself and tell myself that I'll have him at my side in a few minutes. It doesn't seem to work considering not even a second later I'm nudging Kyungsoo discreetly, asking him to switch places with the unaware dancer, only to have him reject me and pay attention to the people around us.

Sighing, I attempt to get Yixings attention in subtle ways as to not make my intentions clear to the crowd, but once again be disappointed when Yixing doesn't look over at me. He's too focused on doing the slogan and being his dazed cute self for the cameras and people, I understand, but I just can't shake the uncomfortableness I feel with Kyungsoo by my side.

When we're finally able to walk away from everything, I reach behind Kyungsoo and gently grab Yixings wrist, pulling him behind me and keeping my hand on his wrist to calm my uncomfortableness.

I don't look over my shoulder to see him, more focused on where we're going but I feel my heart do something like skip a beat and get a few butterflies when I feel his other hand be placed on top of mine that's holding his wrist. He doesn't force me to release him, he just holds my hand in his as I lead him and the others to wherever we're going.

Thing is, I forgot, just following people and lose myself in thinking of Yixing holding my hand. 

---

Its after a concert so everything is a little crazy, members are running around and waving to fans, some play around and some just watch and wave.

I'm walking around waving with Yixing, glancing behind me every now and then to make sure he's following me like a lost rabbit, smiling slightly when he is and how he nearly bumps into me. We wave to fans as the building echo's in screams and chants, hearing mine and Yixings name a few times in the sea of people and voices.

When everyone starts lining up to say a final goodbye and bow, my breathing pauses as I find Yixing missing from his spot next to me, I look around only to relax and chuckle when I see him walking behind members as they bow to find his place between me and Tao.

Bowing quickly then standing close enough to me so he doesn't lose me again. 

---

I groan quietly as I stretch myself on the couch, rolling my eyes at some commercial that's interrupting the rerun of some korean drama Tao and Chen watch, I couldn't sleep and still can't so I opted to watching tv to lure me to sleep.

I didn't want to wake Yixing, being his roommate and all, wanting him to get as much rest as possible from all the hard work he's been doing with practicing. My eyes shift to the hallway when I hear a door open then close, quiet and soft footsteps coming closer until I get a glimpse of a certain dancer going into the kitchen in a pair of shorts and another sweater.

I watch the doorway, waiting for him to return to bed before I can relax back into the couch, only wanting him to sleep instead of doing what I am. He returns a minute later, holding a water bottle and goes to go back to bed, but stops mid step and turns to face me, my body that's sprawled out lit up by the TV.

My feet hang off the arm of the couch and one of my arms hang off as my head rest on my pillow placed at the other arm.

"Fanfan? Why are you out here? Aren't you tired?" Yixing asks, stepping closer as I savor his voice when it has sleep still his vocal cords, he sounds hot yet cute at the same time and I'm positive he's the only man who can do that.

"I couldn't sleep is all, you go back to sleep, Yixing. You need it more then me anyways." I answer him, hoping he'll listen to me because he practically passed out as soon as his head hit the pillow after he changed from his shower.

He's been practicing a new dance with the choreographer with Kai before the rest of us, them being the main dancers our sub groups, they help us learn and correct our moves if the choreographer can't or doesn't notice someone struggling.

Instead of listening like a good Dídí would, Yixing merely hums and walks closer to the couch, sitting the water down on a coaster on the table. I watch him silently, wondering what he plans on doing and I'm surprised at the answer when I get it.

Yixing places his knees on either side of my stomach so he's straddling my mid section and lays his chest on mine, his arms resting at my sides also like his legs, his head being laid on my shoulder as he cuddles himself into my neck.

I blink, not expecting him to lay on me but definitely not complaining as I feel his breath and body relax on me as he sighs contently, feeling oddly comforted at his weight on me and feeling his calm heart beat.

"I'm not allowing my favorite Gégé to sleep on the couch alone.." I hear him mumble into my neck, letting my hands come up to wrap around his waist and lightly rub his lower back in an attempt to lure him back to sleep.

"Thank you, Xingie." I tell him, my voice a whisper since he's so close, I only earn a hum and a soft squeeze from his arms as if he was hugging me.

I forget about the tv that's still on, lighting our body's up as I pay close attention to how I can feel almost curve of the dancer body on me. My hand on his back feeling the small dip in his spine that goes to his , his slight abs pressed against my chest through the sweater, his waists slight curve as my other gently traces his side, the muscle in his arms even if it doesn't look like he has much; the way I can feel his crotch against lower stomach and how his hips feel pressed against me.

Especially how his firm yet soft looking thighs hug my waist, exposed from his shorts and lit up by the tv, the shorts have raised slightly from his position so I'm looking at more of his thighs then I have before, my eyes trailing the skin until it disappears under the fabric to more pale skin I can only dream of seeing.

Listening to Yixings breathing and feeling it against my neck as his chest raises and falls with each breath seem to have an effect the TV couldn't do on my tiredness, luring me to close my eyes and let the dancer on me guide me to a certain dreamland I wish was real. 

--- 

Watching Yixing play is cute, he's like a child and is very mischievous when he wants to be, so when he plays around with Tao and Chen; I have no clue if his aim is to make me jealous.

The three of them are with me in the practice room, Yixing was told to help us what the dance, which he happily did for at least four hours until we were told to take a break. Now he's laughing and playfully wrestling with Tao as Chen laughs his off at how Tao has been able to pin the dancer every time.

I'm only sitting against the wall, a slight frown on my lips as I watch the tall panda, once again, flip a certain way that makes Yixing go to the floor laughing as the big baby straddles his hips and pins his arm to the floor. Chen laughs along with them, all not seeming to concerned about the position their in, except for me of course.

What if Tao is attempting to steal Yixing away from me? He knows we're close, hell he found us a few days ago with Yixing on me as we slept, he won't stop announcing that my hand was on the dancers thigh which might be true but no one can blame me, his thighs are arguably the most attractive thing physically about him.

I blink when I hear Chen yell and whine loudly, seeing Tao tackling him to the ground as Yixing laughs watching them but turns to me a second later, showing his cute dimples. I watch him crawl to me, probably not wanting to stand, struggling thoughts from my head like the night we stared a bed in a hotel.

When he's in front of me, he doesn't hesitant to make himself comfortable on my lap, smiling adorably at me as I glance down to see his thighs once again hugging me, just this time in tight jeans.

"Whats wrong, Gé? You look upset." his voice holds concern for me, he doesn't like seeing people upset, especially our members and close friends, he just wants everyone to be happy and smiling.

"I'm just tired, Xingie. Nothing is wrong." I lie, my pride not allowing me to admit I'm jealous because it would lessen it and plus, I have no reason to be jealous. We arent dating and probably never will considering I'm not sure if I'm gay or just bi, or just realizing that Yixing is an attractive man and I'm completely straight.

Besides, why on earth would he want to date me? I can't dance for the life of me without months of practice on one move, I can't cook that well like him or Kyungsoo, and he just sees me a Duizhang, friend and brother. I'm positive he'd want Jongin if he is gay, possibly Junmyeon or Chanyeol seeing as the big puppy likes hugging on him when he has a chance.

"Oh, well okay. You did great today, your dancing is improving alot, more than Chen or Tao but don't tell them." Yixing puts his finger to his lips and shakes his bead lightly at the last part, as if the action would make me keep the small secret.

I can't help but smile a little at his cuteness, feeling myself get excited slightly about him praising my dancing. Getting praise from the genius in dancing and the M sub group is big deal for the members who haven't had any luck in dancing, unlike Luhan or Minseok who got into it pretty well.

Especially for Tao and Chen, when they get praise they immediately start shouting and cheering, wanting to celebrate with a bowl of ice cream and a drama, after hugging and thanking Yixing for the help of course. I hide my excitement in a smile, not really wanting to make a fool of myself by doing with the maknaes do.

"Thank you, Yixing. I appreciate it, really." I tell him, watching him smile wider and his dimple get deeper before he suddenly hops off me, making me fight myself to not pull him back down on my lap because I miss the position and having him so close.

"Come on! A big person like you needs to eat, so I shall make you something," he takes my hand, trying to pull me up but end up pausing when he realizes he just said he'd make me food, no mention of the others and he suddenly has cute pink on his cheeks.

"..and for the others of course.." He adds as I help him pull me up by just standing up, easily towering over him as I chuckle at his adorableness. He smiles then pulls me from the practice room.

---

I can't take it, the fact that the Chinese members are treated like crap from our stupid company, and that we're being overworked and that I can't do anything I want. We're ing puppets to them, only good for money and , I'm sick of it.

So, I filed an lawsuit against the company and the consequence of it is that I have to leave Exo, leave my friends, leave Yixing. I don't want to, I really don't but I need to be free and do this for our Chinese members, I just hope they don't hate me.

Today is the day I leave, I packed and everything, spent time with each member, besides one. I couldn't bring myself to enter the room I shared with him, he hid away in there after giving me breakfast he cooked with Kyungsoo, the sadness in his eyes broke my heart and I swear I found a scar on my hand so I must be pretty broken.

I'm sitting on the couch, the same one where Yixing slept with me so I wouldn't be alone, where he watched tv with me with his head on my lap, where we helped each other with the Korean language late at night and where theres so many memories to count. I'm staring at the hallway, debating on walking in his room or waiting until he comes out, I've been doing it for probably an hour, not paying much mind to anything else.

"Hyung, you should go talk with Xing Xing. After all, you two did meet before any of us, you're best friends, its only right." Chanyeol appears in my view, a pout and sad eyes, his mood seems down but so is everyones today.

I know he's right but I dread seeing the dancer, something that never happens, I'm always excited to see Yixing, happy I see him but things are different today. I know what I see won't be happy Yixing,I know his dimple will be in hiding, I know his dazed and innocent eyes will be sad and I know his plump pink lips will have a pout like Chanyeols but it'll murder me unlike Chanyeols who's merely scratchs at my heart and emotions.

I nod, standing up but I'm shocked when the tall puppy suddenly hugs me, his chin on my shoulder and his arms tightly around me. "Don't leave us forever, Hyung. Call us, Yixing Hyung especially, and visit please. We'd like to see you again, don't leave us fully and dont forget about us."

When his deep voice cracks, I make sure to hug him just as tightly, promising something I'm not sure I can keep.

When he releases me, he smiles sadly and walks down the hall, probably to Baekhyun as I walk to the closed door that use to be my room with a special dancer. in a breath, I opened the door and step in, closing it gently as I look around the room for him.

After a few seconds, I find his foot sticking out from under his bed, I raise my eyebrows as I walk to bed and kneel down to see under it. I find him blinking at me, his sad eyes something I dreaded seeing, along with his pout, before I can ask why he's under the bed he explains.

"I thought hiding would keep you here longer, if you couldn't find me, you wouldn't leave." The broken tone and desperation of his words break everything in me, especially seeing his eyes start to glaze.

"Come out here, Xingie. Please?" It doesn't take much else to have him crawling from under the bed, not allowing me to stand up, instead he just hugs my neck and sits on my thighs since I'm on my knees, his knees on either side of my hips and his body against mine as he hugs me tightly. My arms don't hesitate at wrap around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer.

"Please don't leave, Fanfan. I need you here, I need you. Please stay." His words hit my neck but stab my heart, wanting to give him whatever he needs and wants,at the moment its me staying and I want that as much as he does but I can't.

"I can't stay, Xingie, the company won't let me. I want to stay with you, I really do, but its impossible with the company and their way of treating us. Please understand, I'd love to stay with you but I can't, I'm so sorry." I force my voice not to crack, force my eyes to keep water in and force myself not to kidnap Yixing so we can stay together.

A small sob escapes the dancers throat as I feel tears hit my skin and his arms tighten around me, I rub his back, hating that I made him cry and ruined his cheerful childish self.

"I-I understand, Fan. I'm not mad at you, I promise, I could never be mad at you." His voice cracks and he sniffles, paining me to no end to merely hear him crying, not seeing it yet.

"I'm sorry, Yixing. I didn't want this, I didn't want to leave, but I have no choice." He only nods in understanding, not trusting his voice.

Instead of talking, I just hold him for possibly the last time in a while, wanting to savor every moment I have with him and mesmerize what it'd like to hold him. I want to remember what its like to have him in my arms, what his soft skin feels likes, what his hair smells like, what its like to have a pure angel in my lap.

By the time someone knocks on the door, we've been sitting on the floor holding each other for possibly two hours or close to it, Yixing crying the whole time as I rub his back and whisper calming things to him like I'll visit and call.

"Yifan, the car is here...its time to leave.." Junmyeons voice comes through the door, only making another sob hurt Yixing poor throat.

He pulls back slightly, paining me physically as I see his eyes puffy and pink like his cheeks that has trails of tears running down them, and his lips in a deeper pout. We don't say anything, waiting for one of us to do something and it's Yixing who breaks our staring contest.

He presses his lips against my cheek, giving me a chance to savor how soft they are and how gentle he presses them against me, before pulling away and removing himself from my lap to sit on the floor.

"I'm not saying goodbye. It means I won't see you again. So, I wish you the best and I'll see you later, Fanfan." 

---years later---

It's been years, I never seen any of Exo or Yixing again besides on the news and media, I know Luhan and Tao left, and I occasionally see them in the protection of my own home or theirs.

I haven't contacted the remaining members or Yixing, being to emotional or just too busy to give them a call. I feel horrible for it but there's nothing I can do, I know their busy and I'm busy with movies and music, also traveling, I'm sure they'd understand, especially Yixing.

I have been up to date with their songs and comebacks, I know Yixing has released some music but I haven't been able to listen to them, I know if I hear his voice I'd break or come close to it. I miss him with everything in me, having him missing from my side isn't fun and rather lonely, not seeing his dimple or cute expressions is torture, not hearing his voice call my name so adorably like he did leaves my ears and heart empty.

Without him next to me, I'm constantly uncomfortable when someone sits or stands with me, it isn't the same as his calming yet childish presence and being used to his occasional touch when he shifted or his giggle isn't exactly helping when I stand with people cause I have to keep glancing at them to remind myself Yixing isn't with me.

Currently, I'm attending an award show, I didn't feel like dressing up so I stuck with a black short sleeve hoodie with a black sweater under it that covers my hands and black ripped skinny jeans with some glasses on.

I don't expect much to happen here as I look around at the all the Chinese idols and movie stars, producers and people as such chat as they go down the red carpet like I am. I'm just standing, barely trying to pose and keep my effortless cold expression.

That is until I hear the fans and people behind the barrier and photographer and interviewers, yell a very familiar name. "Yixing!!" "Xing Xing!!" "Zhang Yixing!" I look around carefully through the people, finally seeing the dancer I've been waiting to see for years walking onto the red carpet.

He's in a black suit that fits him perfectly, the slacks hugging his dancer thighs wonderfully and the suit jacket shows his muscles in the most flattering ways, and his black hair is styled back. His dimple is visible even from where I stand as he waves almost shyly yet confidently and smiles at people, sticking his other hand in his pocket as photographers take photos of him.

I can't believe I didn't know he'd be here, I feel stupid because I shamelessly stalk his medias or whatever I can find of him whenever I have time to. I can't stare as much as I'd like because I'm told I can go into the building, which after another few seconds of staring at the dancer I missed so much, I do. 

--- 

I can't stop looking for Yixing, wondering where he's sitting or if he'll speak to me, the chance is slim but I still hope. I sigh as I turn back to the people on the stage, deciding I won't find him at the moment but I make it a goal to find him before the night is through.

"Next preformer is a member of the popular Korean- Chinese group EXO, he is on a path to being a solo artist as well, and he's doing a very great job at it. Preforming his new single I Need U, please welcome Zhang Yixing."

My eyes snap up and I sit straight to lean against the table, my eyes searching the stage for the dancer. When I finally see him, he's changed into a blue suit with the pants legs shorter and his hair is styled the same, he has back up dancers with him and is standing in the middle of them with a small smile as his eyes roam to crowded room.

Once the music starts through, he changes into a new person, the person I preformed with and admired for his confidence in dancing and skills; Lay, who has a blank yet focused expression, occasional lip biting that reminds me of how soft his lips felt against my cheek and the faint smirk they curve into when fans scream at his perfect timed and sharp hip .

The dance is nothing less then beautiful and amazing like I expected, but the lyrics get me thinking about what he said the day I left. He told me he needed me, his song sounds like he's trying to confess to someone or show someone he loves how he feels, it strikes a painful sting at my heart knowing I'm not that person.

Like I expected, his voice causes emotions to flow through me, bringing back memories of us and feelings that confused me. Over the years I've did some experiments and found out I'm gay, I had a few one night stands with men then one with a woman, lets just say she left earlier then she expected and quite upset, possibly humiliated.

So I understand what my feelings towards Yixing was now, years late but I can't control what happens in the past, I can only hope to talk with him and get his heart back, if I ever had it.

As the first love of my life, besides basketball when I was young, performs, he glances repeatedly at my table as if watching for someone. It makes my body tingle in over excitement, getting my hopes up as I watch him intensely, loathing whoever is able to see him practice personally now and whoever is with him everyday.

When he stops moving, his chest is raising and falling quickly, not panting but only mildly out of breath, smiling sweetly and showing his dimple to everyone as he waves before bowing at his waist. Everyone claps, me especially and fans scream and chant his name, only filling me with pride at how far he's come in his career and is still in EXO.

I watch him walk off stage, catching a hand that reaches out to pat his back as he disappears back stage.

---

I found out that Yixing was only a table away from my seat, sitting with a man I recognize from his show Go Fighting, I believe his name is Show Lo. He's annoyingly close with my dancer, sitting so close their touching shoulders and leaning into the younger dancers ear only to make Yixing laugh as he attempted to listen to the hosts.

I'm behind them as I follow them out of the building after the show ended, planning on getting Yixing alone. I watch Show Lo put his hand on Yixings lower back, the same place I rubbed when we were on the couch in our dorm, to guide the younger through the crowd, making a wave of possessiveness go through me.

Without thinking much through, I walk faster to be able to place my hand on Yixings shoulder, feeling slightly better from touching him after so many years. "Yixing,"

He turns immediately at my voice, looking shocked with wide eyes and his soft lips parted slightly. I glance at Show Lo, who scans me as if I killed his family, seeming to not trust me even if I never met him before.

"Can, can we talk? Privately?" I return my eyes to Yixing, seeing him blink a few times as if in a daze which doesn't surprise me, he use to get stuck in his head quite often.

"Of course-" His answer is interrupted, annoying me slightly as Show Lo makes the dancer look at him by grabbing his jaw gently.

"But Lamb, what about what-" His sentence is cute short when Yixing smiles at him, his words freezing in his throat, I can't blame him, Yixings smile could cure any sickness.

"I'll be fine, Gé. Don't worry, its not like he'll hurt me, I trust him, so should you. Now, please excuse me, I'll meet you later Gé." Yixing turns to me after he says this, allowing me to grab his wrist gently and lead him away from the actor, not pulling away from me but placing his other hand on top of mine, just like he did years ago.

The memory flashes vividly in my head, forcing a small smile on my lips from how he somehow knew I was uncomfortable and wanted to comfort me, how easily he made me fall for him without even realizing it.

I take the dancer to the emergency exit, luckily there isn't an alarm so I easily push it open so we enter the staircase, I wonder what the point of having the exit here when there's stairs because that sorta defeats the purpose of an emergency exit. But the thought is quickly forgotten when I remember I'm alone with Yixing for the first time since I left, since I walked from our shared room and left him crying on the floor, the thought of him crying pains me again.

I turn to face him, releasing his wrist letting his hand fall to his side and play with the hem of his pocket, he's staring at me with the same dazed innocent look he had, just looking more mature in a suit and his hair styled the way it is, contrasting against each other.

"Hi again, Duizhang. It's been a small while, hasn't it? How have you been? I heard you played in a movie in America, I'm proud of you, so much success came to you." He smiles, displaying his dimple as he blinks, staring up at me the same way he did in the past, with care and love in his dazed eyes. The emotion is drowned in the spaced out and childish innocence but if you look closely and carefully, you can see what his expressions don't normally show clearly.

His words just pain me yet make me extremely happy, the nickname reminding me I left him alone with Tao and Luhan then the fact he's proud of me makes me happy and proud of myself to have did that.

"It has, I'm sorry for never calling or visiting. I wanted to but I thought you were busy and I was-" I try explaining myself, failing to see his smile widen and him step closer to me from avoiding his eye, fearing I'd see disappointment in them.

I'm cut short when he hugs me, his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder, immediately I return the act of affection. Savoring how his body is more firm but still soft in difference to years ago, how he still uses the same shampoo and how his waist is still slim and small compared to mine and easy to wrap my arms around.

"It's okay, Fanfan. I understand, I really do, we were busy and had different schedules, its understandable we couldn't talk or see each other. I was content on watching your movies in my free time, hearing your voice and seeing you calmed me." Yixing assures me, his voice calm and gentle.

I relax when I hear his words, knowing he isn't upset and understands, like usual Yixing. I wasn't expecting him to be understandably mad but I also wasn't expecting him to be so calm and forgiving, though I should've because he never was a violent person or one to start arguments.

The fact he watched my movies to fill the void of me is very touching and only adds to my happiness at the moment, not minding the slightest bit of pain that he had to do that to just see me.

"So understanding like always, you never change do you?" It's a rhetorical question that has a small chuckle following as my arms tighten around him when he moves an inch back to look at me, a pout on his lips.

"If I change how are you supposed to recognize me?" he asks innocently, forcing a laugh from me at his cuteness.

"I'd recognize you even if you did change, your very hard to forget, Xingie." He blinks, his smile quickly returning but wider making his dimple deeper.

"No ones called me that since you left, its nice to hear it again." He states, watching my eyebrows raise in confusion, why hadn't anyone called him that? Granted not many of the member called him that before I left but I'd think they'd still use it.

He must see my confusion because he strugs, "When I asked, Junmyeon said it was because you used it more then any of them so it become your nickname for me. They didn't want to accidentally hurt me by using it when you left, even if none of them would hurt me anyways. I didn't argue, I just let them do whatever they thought would help me."

I smile at the fact that the members cared for him enough to do that, before I left they cared for him of course but he sticked with me so often I was the one who usually took responsibility on caring for him. I didn't mind of course, I loved caring for him, I wish I still can.

"Well, that's good because that nickname is specifically for me to use. Get use to it, Xingie." He giggles, the vibration of it going through my chest since we're so close, it actually makes me realize that his lips are closer then before.

It causes the memory of him kissing my cheek to fill my head, suddenly wanting to see if his lips are still as soft as they were. But I don't do anything, because I don't know if he returns my feelings and cause of his song, the lyrics containing feelings for someone he apparently needs, I don't want to ruin anything with him or his chance to have the one he wants.

"I enjoyed your song tonight, great job with it." I say instead, watching his dimple get deeper as his arms tighten slightly around me.

"Thank you, I wrote it years ago after someone important to me left." He states, his eyes flicking between mine as if wanting to see my reaction, which is only a small hum. I don't know how to feel, the only man I ever loved having someone else who is important to him hurts to know, but I'll support him in whatever he does.

"Fanfan, do you remember what I told you the day you left?" I nod, not sure why he asked, of course I remember. The words always echo in my head when I should be asleep.

"That you needed me." I answer, watching him smile more.

"I still do, Fan. I wrote that song after you left, you're important to me and I still need you." He reaches up to kiss my cheek, dangerously close to my lips as I feel relief and slight excitement begin to flood my body. He basically just said he wrote that for me, that he still needed me, I couldn't be happier, maybe he does return my feelings.

Instead of saying anything, I test the waters as I bend my body slightly to connect our lips, feeling that his lips are still there softest I've ever felt and taste sweet. It does take a second for him to get caught up but when he does, he returns the kiss which makes my heart beat impossibly faster than it already is. 

---

Having Yixing join in on the visits that Luhan and Tao make is the best thing that could have happened, especially since he spent the night after the award show last night.

Nothing happened besides talking about what's been happening, eventually Chanyeol and Kai called to check up on Yixing which lead to me speaking to them for the first time in years, it wasn't as bad as I expected because they both were excited to talk to me.

After a few hours, I got to fall asleep with the dancer in my arms like I extremely missed and wished for, it was the best sleep I had since I left.

Currently Luhan and Tao are trapping my dancer in hugs as they ask questions about him and the remaining members of EXO, Yixing only laughs as he returns their hugs and answers all the questions happily.

I'm just watching from the kitchen door way, not wanting to interrupt their catching up moments. Luhan eventually gets up, allowing Tao to happily lay his tall body on Yixing as the dancer giggles at the tall baby.

Luhan smirks at me as he passes me into the kitchen, gaining my curiosity and causing me to follow him, watching him open my refrigerator to grab a water.

"What?" I ask, not understanding why he's looking so smug with his smirk and his eyes staring at me like he knows something.

He only shrugs, "I just knew this would happen some time."

Again, this sparks more curiosity as I wonder what he knew would happen, so instead of asking i just stare at him expectingly. 

 

"He'd find his way back to you, no matter the time or where you are, he'll always finds his way back to you."