-

For Jongin, realizing that he has fallen for Taemin doesn't make much of a difference.

Everything goes on as normal. His schedule still stays packed to the brim, he still hogs the practice room after everyone else left to perfect his spins and turns until dawn, and he's still glued to his phone 24/7, texting and calling Taemin whenever he has a chance.

Nothing really changed, especially not when it comes to their current relationship. Truthfully, it just feels like they've been dating for ages without even realizing.

If there's one thing that changed, it's the fact that he gets so much more aware of how much he misses Taemin's presence.

The ocean separating the two of them at the moment suddenly feels so much bigger. Right now, and for the next couple of weeks, Jongin can't just call Taemin and ask him to come over anytime they're free. He can't see him everyday, he can't sneak his way into his bed to cuddle before sleeping, and he can't physically touch him.

It makes Jongin suffer from longing just a tiny bit; although this 'tiny bit' has costed him a few mistakes during rehearsals from all the daydreaming he does, and more than a couple of real dreams involving his best friend when he's actually sleeping. Most of them are sweet dreams, but the few in between are slightly dirtier in nature—he's not getting into that right now.

Scratching his head, he enters his bedroom and changes into his pajamas. It's three in the morning, and everyone's probably resting except for him, because he just spent four extra hours in the practice room. Usually, he'd have company—or keep someone else company, and by that someone else he means Taemin—but well, Taemin isn't around. The walk home honestly felt a little lonely tonight.

After changing, he finally settles under his blankets and grabs his phone. He hasn't checked his messages all day. His schedule was super hectic; he entrusted his phone to his manager because it was running out of battery and didn't get it back until rehearsal was over. By then, he already had to concentrate on nitpicking his own posture on the mirror, so he didn't touch the phone.

Now that he's checking it, as expected, he has a lot of texts from Taemin.

He can't help but smile as he scrolls down to read all the unread messages. Taemin's schedule in Japan is much more relaxed than his usual schedule in Korea; he actually gets time to go out, explore, and sleep.

Taemin doesn't actually go to sleep though. Jongin will bet all his possessions that he still does his share of extra practice as well. He's a very hard worker.

Anyway, today Taemin sent Jongin a bunch of selfies in many different places. There's one in the practice room, one inside a record store—in front of the K-Pop cabinet, because Taemin is that nerd who likes seeing his own face on the shelves—and one in the car. There's even a picture of him on the streets, with a remarkably ugly stick figure doodle of another person next to him, an arrow connecting it with the handwritten 'this is you' above it.

Jongin rolls his eyes, but his grin is still spreading so wide, stretching from ear to ear as he scrolls.

Then he finds the last few messages, sent hours ago, along with another picture. Instead of a selfie—or a stupid picture with a stick figure—he sees Taemin's hand holding a brand new phone case. It's from a luxury brand, Jongin notices, and it has a huge teddy bear printed on the black background.

Taeminnie

Saw this at the department store 

Reminded me of you so I bought it 

I'll give it to you when I get back <3 

19:47

Oh. It's a gift.

Jongin didn't think his grin could get even wider, but it did. Happiness is surging inside of him from such a random gesture. The thought that the action could be fake—something Taemin is only doing because of the game—doesn't even cross his mind.

Without much thinking, he presses dial on Taemin's number, video calling him. He realizes belatedly that it's very late in the night already, but Taemin never sleeps early, so it should be alright. Probably.

Taemin picks up right after the second ring. Jongin almost lets out a sigh of relief.

"Hey," Taemin's voice reverberates in his empty room as a slightly blurry version of his face appears on Jongin's screen.

Taemin's sitting against the headboard of his bed, hair still slightly damp, looking like he just got out of the shower. Knowing Taemin, it really won't be surprising if he just got home after doing extra practice, just like Jongin. They're just that similar to each other.

"Yah, did you just shower or something?" Jongin starts chuckling as soon as he voices out his non-standard greeting. Taemin chuckles, too, but he doesn't answer the question. The answer is probably yes.

Jongin hums and tries to find a more comfortable position. "Not sleeping yet?"

Taemin shakes his head and looks past the camera, flipping the phone to show the laptop he has propped on his lap. "I was reviewing. There's so much to fix."

When the camera flips back, Jongin's greeted by a disgruntled Taemin, who goes on to talk about the supposedly bad rehearsal he had today. The morning rehearsal was apparently fine, but the one at night was a disaster, or so he says, and it's not even anyone's fault, he's just unsatisfied with what he himself is doing.

Jongin knows the feeling. He can relate, as they're both crazy perfectionists, but he's sure that Taemin actually isn't doing as bad as he thinks he is.

Taemin continues letting out his complaints for the day, while Jongin just sits there, listening, and trying hard not to get distracted by the pout unconsciously forming on Taemin's lips as he speaks. He probably looks as lovesick as an idiot right now, but he doesn't care.

Taemin looks cute when he's talking a lot—and his legions of fans will probably agree with this opinion.

"What was that thing you sent?" Jongin changes the topic after a little while. As much as he loves watching Taemin talk, he also doesn't want him to be stressed out when it's time for him to rest. "You bought a phone case?"

Taemin's eyes widen, and he grins. "Yeah. We walked around at the department store earlier, because we were passing by after dinner, and I saw that. It's nice, right?"

"It is," Jongin answers honestly. "You sure you didn't buy it for yourself?"

Taemin laughs and shakes his head. "I don't use bear stuff. You're the one who does."

That's true. Jongin matches Taemin's laugh, and they end up giggling for no reason for a few seconds.

"Should I go back and buy another one?" Taemin thinks out loud, when his laughing subsides. "We'll match."

Yes.

Wait. No.

No, they shouldn't. People take pictures of them everywhere—they'll find out.

"Are you actually considering it? I was just kidding. It's not a very good idea," Taemin says, grinning. Jongin agrees, but the disappointment still creeps up to the back of his mind regardless. "Anyway. How was your day? Tired?"

"Same as always," Jongin says, shrugging as he tries to burrow himself in the blankets. He buries half of his face in his pillow, while checking the tiny monitor on the screen. The camera still catches his face. He looks okay, kind of cute.

He wonders if Taemin even likes cute. He quickly shakes off the thought from his head.

"I have to wake up in like, three hours," he complains instead, pouting.

Taemin's eyebrows knit together. "And you're not sleeping yet?"

"Nope. Sleeping is a waste of time anyway."

Suddenly, Taemin starts laughing out loud. He's laughing so hard he's clutching his stomach, and Jongin wants to kiss him. Really badly.

"That's funny, coming from you," Taemin wheezes. "What happened to my lazy bear?"

My. 

Jongin doesn't know how intentional it was, but the way Taemin uses a possessive word when referring to him is making his cheeks heat up. His heart is pounding faster than usual, but he makes an effort to look nonchalant, rolling his eyes.

"I don't remember ever being your lazy bear."

Taemin just laughs it off, and even continues on for a while—Jongin is too busy admiring his smile to tell him to stop.

"Your face is going to be swollen in the morning if you don't sleep," Taemin chides suddenly, after he's done laughing.

Jongin lightly shakes his head, the corners of his lips quirking into a lopsided grin. "It's fine. I'll fall asleep eventually."

And that's exactly what happens.

The two of them just kept talking and the next thing he knows, it's already morning. Jongin only knew it was time to wake up because his manager shook him awake and started dragging him into the car in his pajamas.

Once he's inside the car, he checks his phone. Taemin seems to have fallen asleep later than he did, since he doesn't remember hanging up on the call.

Taeminnie

Good night 

Sweet dreams 

04:37

The last text is time stamped much later than the other two. Somehow, as he reads it, Jongin pictures a Taemin who is warm and comfortable under his blankets but unable to sleep no matter what.

Taeminnie

I miss you 

05:25

Jongin misses him too. A lot.

He clenches his fist tighter on his phone. Ever since he knew about his own feelings, he's been telling himself he shouldn't hope for too much. Don't do anything weird, be normal, and keep going.

But with Taemin acting like this, it's really hard to keep pretending everything's normal. He can't help but start hoping, just a little bit, that Taemin feels the same way he does.

There's nothing wrong with having a little hope, right?

-

Jongin

Congrats on finishing the tour 

How was it? 

22:05

Taemin looks down at his phone, unable to help a small smile from forming on his lips as he types a reply.

It was fun 

A lot of people came 

Thanks for the flowers btw 

22:06

This morning, Taemin had been pleasantly surprised to see a huge bouquet of flowers—red roses, all of them—waiting for him in the dressing room. It was beautiful, but the biggest surprise is when he finds out it was from Jongin, after reading the card that came with it.

The message was standard—it just said congratulations and a couple other safe but cheesy lines Jongin likes to say on broadcast—but that doesn't even bother him because the gesture itself, Jongin sending him flowers, is already non-standard.

Jongin is very similar to him, usually having no tact when it comes to sending things to friends and colleagues. He even forgets to congratulate Taemin on his comeback most of the time, so the last thing Taemin expected was Jongin actually sending him a whole bouquet.

He gets startled out of his thoughts when his phone vibrates again in his hands.

Jongin

Did you like it? 

22:07

Loved it 

It's beautiful 

Thanks <3 

22:07

He thought it over countless times, even though he only had a split second, but in the end, he decides to include the heart emoji. Again.

Little urges to include cheesy things like this have been popping into his mind recently, though it's not like he's putting in the effort to keep the thoughts out.

Jongin

Got it 

I'll send you more next time 

Still have to make you lose after all 

22:08

Taemin can already picture the smug grin on Jongin's face as he types up the words on his screen. So annoying. If Jongin was next to him right now, he'll probably get a punch or something already.

Or maybe a kiss. In their current situation, probably a kiss.

"Texting your girlfriend?"

Rino, his performance director for the concert, calls Taemin out from the little pink world he has been in since he got Jongin's text. If it weren't for her, Taemin would probably forget that he's in the middle of a staff after-party—that he's currently surrounded by a bunch of people.

"No, no. Just a friend," Taemin waves his hand in front of his face for emphasis, quickly pocketing his phone. It vibrates in his pocket, probably from Jongin sending more texts, but he'll ignore it for now. He'll reply later.

"Stop lying, you looked totally smitten," the older woman teases, nudging him with her elbow. "Still at the flirting stage? Don't worry, I'll keep it a secret."

Taemin doesn't know why, but for some reason, it feels like Rino is reading straight into his mind. He shakes his head. "No… We're—it's not like that at all."

"Is it the person who sent the flowers to the venue?" she probes again, the grin fixed on her face, "Whoever they are, they must like you a lot, to send so many flowers. And they're all red roses too."

That's true. What was Jongin thinking? Anyone with a little sense would know what red roses mean. Who on earth would send flowers that unmistakably expresses love to someone they don't like?

But still. Jongin is just a friend.

A friend he's treating a little bit more special than others. A friend he treats almost like his boyfriend. It's just because of the game, though. Not because they're actually in a relationship. They're not in love. They were supposed to prove their friends wrong.

Taemin scoffs inwardly at the ideas he's been trying to feed himself with. One of these days, someone will call him out on his severe denial. His words sound so fake, even inside his own head. They sound even more fake when he thinks back to the kinds of thoughts that have been invading his mind lately, right as he's about to fall asleep, or when he's just daydreaming.

He keeps imagining all sorts of scenarios, futures near and far, and all of them involve Jongin in one way or another. His mind just can't seem to imagine a future without Jongin in it. He has imagined living alone at his own apartment, and eventually getting Jongin to move in with him. They'll bring all their dogs, and it will be a riot because they'll have five dogs, but it will be fun.

He has also imagined going on a long-term vacation with Jongin, when they're no longer young, vigorous men who can dance twenty hours a day. They'll relax all day, cuddle, whatever. Other than these two instances, there's also that one time when he imagined coming home to Jongin's face everyday, even when neither of them get home until dawn.

One conclusion he has derived from all his daydreaming about Jongin is that spending forever with him doesn't sound bad at all.

It sounds comfortable. Easy. Perfect.

But it also sounds wrong, because right now, Jongin is just his best friend. Nothing more. He shouldn't even be thinking about something like this. His imaginations sound almost like marriage and the implication of that has nothing to do with the word 'friends'.

The thought sends tiny prickles to his chest.

The truth is, even he knows that his feelings for Jongin run a little far from the 'friendly' territory. It's not even just a little far, it's very far.

He tries to ignore it, but he knows perfectly well that he's already in deep. For all he knows, he could have had feelings for Jongin for the past ten years, and he just never realized it. The game gave him an outlet to unleash all these repressed feelings and pull them out into the open.

It explains how effortless it is for him to act like this with Jongin. If it were anyone else, it may not have been this easy. And this is all good, but he doesn't know what to do.

He may know Jongin better than anyone, but there's no telling what he would do if he ever finds out.

Taemin shakes his head.

He's going to ignore his stupid feelings as he always does. He won't admit it, not to himself or anyone else, and just keep playing this game.

They're fine as they are now.

-

Jongin's energy has been b ever since he arrived in Hong Kong last night.

Realistically, he should be exhausted. He had just arrived on a long flight, and had a long schedule right before that long flight. Without any rest, since early this morning he's had a soundcheck, a rehearsal, and a lot of other tedious things that would tire him out in normal situations.

However, instead of wanting to go home and sleep, he's actually bouncing on his heels, unable to wait to go to this awards show that he doesn't really want to go to, because Taemin's going to be there today.

It feels like it's been forever since the last time he saw Taemin in person, not through a phone screen or a fan's camera lens. Jongin is really excited to spend some time with him, even if it means he has to sit through a boring awards show while being scrutinized by a thousand cameras.

He and s end up being some of the last people to arrive at the venue. It's so hard to play cool as he walks down the red carpet knowing that Taemin has probably arrived, and that they will see each other once he gets through all these reporters. Chanyeol keeps doing stupid things and making faces at him, and Jongin laughs for the older member and the camera, but all he really wants is for this to be over.

He wants to run to Taemin's waiting room and see him. Do things with him. Chat, or something. He doesn't really know what he wants to do, actually. Maybe he should think it over a little.

Finally, they get to the end of the little red carpet event. Smiling at photographers, check; answering meaningless questions from MCs, check.

Jongin can run backstage now.

No. Not yet. He needs to keep calm.

Jongin uses all his effort to school his expression into a well-practiced poker face, pretending to look cool, although he's gushing with excitement inside. Sehun is still laughing at him, which means he's still being too obvious, so he needs to calm down even more.

All his efforts are so easily thwarted once his eyes meet Taemin's from across the room.

His best friend is standing right by the entrance to the backstage area, dressed in a sleek, fitting all-black outfit—is that shirt transparent, god—and a wide smile that makes him look even more gorgeous than he already is. Taemin isn't alone, he's surrounded by people, namely their close friends Sungwoon and Jimin, but Jongin's sight is so zeroed in on him and him alone that he doesn't even notice the other two's presence.

Suddenly, he feels an irrepressible urge to pull Taemin into his arms and never let go.

"Are you going there or coming with us?" Sehun asks next to him, in a deadpan voice. "Don't just stand there staring. There are cameras here."

Jongin blinks.

Right.

Realizing his feelings really doesn't do him any good, if it keeps getting him distracted like this.

"Jongin!"

Before he manages to walk over to the trio, Sungwoon is already bouncing over, arms spread wide open to give Jongin a hug. Jimin follows up with a weird little side hug, and they just end up getting into a weird three-way hug that only lasts around a second.

"It's been so long! You're always so busy now!" Sungwoon is very obviously excited about tonight—more excited than Jongin, which says a lot. He keeps rambling about things he's looking forward to; Jongin tries to humor him, but his eyes keep flickering to the man standing behind his two friends, just smiling at him.

"Do I not get a hug?"

Taemin finally speaks, for the first time that night, and wow, Jongin really missed hearing his voice.

Would it look too eager if Jongin goes over and hugs him right away? He's not sure if he'll be able to let go after touching him.

That sounds really sappy.

Whatever.

He goes past Sungwoon and Jimin, taking the last few steps to close the distance between him and Taemin. It feels like time is suddenly slowing down when their hands reach for each other's, fingers interlacing. Jongin pulls him in, unable to wait any longer, and Taemin just chuckles, more than happy to oblige.

"I missed you," Taemin whispers into his ear, just low enough for him, and only him, to hear.

It's that phrase again.

The words remind him of that text Taemin sent him, days ago, at the break of dawn, but the warmth and feelings that surge within him is so much more compared to what he felt back then.

He really missed Taemin, too.

He doesn't manage a reply, but he clenches his fingers at the back of Taemin's suit, pulling him just slightly closer, and he hopes Taemin understands.

-

Jongin thinks Taemin does understand, because he doesn't leave Jongin's side for the rest of the night unless absolutely necessary. His best friend even uses his 'senior artist privileges' to ignore seating arrangements, plopping down at the empty spot next to Jongin as soon as he comes back from his performance onstage.

"You were amazing," Jongin says, slinging an arm naturally around Taemin's shoulders, pulling him closer. He shamelessly ignores the sound of Sehun's unnatural coughing. He knows the other man saw him drooling like some fangirl during Taemin's performance. He just hopes it's not captured on camera somewhere.

Why does Taemin always have to be half- when he performs anyway? Jongin doesn't understand. 

"Thanks. You're amazing too."

Jongin hasn't even performed yet, but he has worked hard, and Taemin knows that. He flushes a little at the compliment.

"Oh, you have a solo stage today, right?" Taemin continues as he shifts his position to face Jongin more, placing his hand on Jongin's thigh. "I'm looking forward to it."

Jongin swears that hand on his thigh is lingering far too long to be casual—even the way Taemin squeezes and when he pulls away, instead of just lifting his hand, is very...un-casual.

Sehun definitely noticed everything, because his coughing is getting worse.

Jongin contemplates offering to take him to the hospital. Just to shut him up.

As the night goes on, Taemin gets even more touchy-feely than usual. Other than the random thigh-groping incident, there's also the almost unnoticeable grazing of fingers on his back, roaming a little too low under his waist to be friendly, but too high to be inappropriate. It happens multiple times, until Jongin actually has to leave for his own performance; which Taemin seems to enjoy, too, if all the jumping he can see from the stage is any indication.

Backstage, after Jongin's performance, Taemin meets him in his dressing room, congratulating him.

He was fixing his hair and drying the sweat from his body when his friend walks in, offering to help. Taemin ends up personally helping Jongin take off the uncomfortably itchy body chain he has wrapped around his torso, fingers grazing against bare skin, this time.

Their actions can't get more ambiguous than this. Everyone in the room—s, stylists, everyone—is pretending they don't see anything, but Jongin knows better. They see everything. Always. Even the fact that his face is turning red.

Taemin continues making dumb excuses to touch him—as if he ever needed any—after they leave the backstage area. He keeps saying Jongin's jacket is a little off and just goes ahead to fix it, his fingers accidentally tracing over Jongin's chest. His hand never seems to leave Jongin's shoulder—or his waist, or his arm—even as the two of them talk to their seniors, and as they walk back together at the end of the night, waving at the screaming fans around them.

Actually, all the excessive skinship isn't really something out of normal for the two of them. They are always like this every year, touching each other whenever they're near, as if there's some kind of magnet in their bodies.

Somehow, though, this year, it feels more special. Maybe it's because Jongin is now aware of his feelings, which makes him grow more conscious of every little thing they do together.

There's also the possibility that Taemin actually is touching him more than usual, and he's not just being played by that tiny bit of hope in the back of his mind, but it's unlikely.

It's not really wise to keep on hoping for more , when he knows perfectly well that this thing they have going on isn't actually real. In the end, this is still a game, and he has no clue how much of it is acting versus something Taemin genuinely wants to do.

He needs to keep it together and not let too much of his real feelings slip out—although it's a little too late for that, probably.

Next to him, Taemin suddenly stops.

At first, Jongin was confused, but then after he looks behind his best friend, he finds that they are standing in front of his dressing room.

"I'll see you at the hotel?" Taemin's smaller hand linger in his, intertwining their fingers even though they're about to separate. "Or do you want to go back with me…?"

Taemi