two.

Jongin wasn’t the type of be visibly excited about much. He certainly felt a great deal, but was always careful with how what he felt was expressed. That didn’t mean, however, that he was foolproof when it came to controlling the outward manifestations of his emotions. 

The weekend had come and gone since he had met with Kyungsoo for dinner, yet the upturned state of his lips and the notable bounce to his step had yet to dissipate. He had meet Joonmyeon for their normal weekly get together and his older half brother had had the audacity to comment on his jovial mood.

“From how you’re acting now, I’m assuming things went well with Kyungsoo.” Joonmyeon’s tone had been dry but Jongin had been in too good of a mood to comment on it. Joonmyeon had given up the topic with a roll of his eyes at the sight of Jongin’s pleased expression. 

Indeed, it couldn’t be denied that his interaction with Kyungsoo the Friday evening before had left Jongin in a surprisingly long lasting good mood. The days since getting together with his dark haired ex-english teacher passed in a blur to Jongin, who seemed incapable of doing little more than anticipating the Japanese lesson he was due to teach that coming Friday. By the time a week exactly had passed, Jongin was more or less the living embodiment of anticipation. Although he was yet to realise it himself, his behaviour matched exactly that of a person with a crush — lingering on past interactions and eager for the next time he was provided the opportunity to be with the person he was currently fixated on — he simply hadn’t considered his own feelings enough to understand.

It was of course for this exact reason that upon entering the conference room he had been assigned to provide the Japanese intensives in that worry quickly crept up on him when Kyungsoo did not appear.

His ex-English teacher had been late the for the first lesson, but five minutes quickly bled into ten, ten to fifteen, fifteen to twenty — and before Jongin had even had the chance to fully wrap his head around things, the hour long lesson was over and he found himself standing alone in the conference room, abruptly numb with anxiety.

Had he done something wrong? Had Kyungsoo changed his mind and decided that he wanted nothing to do with him, after all? 

Jongin chewed on his bottom lip, fists tight on his teaching material. Surely not. Kyungsoo wasn’t the type to behave in such a way — he was honest and straightforward, almost too much so. Avoiding someone was more along the lines of Jongin’s behaviour — if Kyungsoo had changed his mind, Jongin was sure that out of the desire to be truthful and sincere, he would speak honestly and give his reasons for changing his mind. He wouldn't simply stop showing up to things he had committed to attend prior. He wasn't childish like that. 

Seconds after concluding that it wasn’t a matter of Kyungsoo suddenly choosing to avoid him, Jongin was texting Joonmyeon.

To: KJM
Have you been in contact with Kyungsoo lately?

The cosmic forces seemed to be on Jongin’s side for once, because Joonmyeon replied promptly rather than the normal two hour wait and ‘Oh sorry I was in a meeting’ text that Jongin had grown all too accustomed to.

From: KJM
No, I’ve been busy with work and haven’t been in touch with him since early last week.

From: KJM
Why?

To: KJM
He didn’t come to the Japanese intensive lesson today.

From: KJM
Oh, that’s quite unlike Kyungsoo. He usually gets in touch and lets people know he wont be able to make it to something if he has something else come up.

Jongin chewed on his bottom lip, brows furrowed with worry.

To: KJM
Do you think it was some sort of emergency? Maybe you can go check on him?

From: KJM
I just tried calling him, he didn’t pick up. I’m about to go into a conference so its not like I can just up and leave. If I give you his address, can you go check on him?

Jongin’s mouth went dry and he stood, staring at the text for several seconds blankly as he considered the words Joonmyeon had sent him.

To: KJM
I just finished work for today, so I guess I can pop by on my way home.

The tone of his text was far more nonchalant than he felt. Jongin swallowed thickly as his phone alerted him to Joonmyeon’s reply of Kyungsoo’s address seconds later. He stared at the innocuous string of numbers and letters, suddenly conflicted. Was it alright for him to go to Kyungsoo’s home like this, unannounced? Maybe Kyungsoo simply hadn’t felt like attending the lesson today and he was making a big deal out of nothing. 

Still, something troublesome niggled at Jongin’s consciousness — regardless of his intentions behind not attending, it seemed out of character for Kyungsoo to not show up without giving reason and Jongin knew that until he was sure that Kyungsoo was alright, he probably wouldn’t feel any peace. Eying the address for a moment longer, Jongin heaved in a breath and steeled himself for what was to come.
 

The apartment complex Kyungsoo lived in was only four stations away from Joonmyeon’s company building and Jongin begrudgingly admitted to himself that his half brother had done a good job organising everything. Not only was the building recently built, it was also within comfortable distance from where Kyungsoo was soon to begin work. Joonmyeon obviously gone to effort when it came to organising Kyungsoo a convenient place to live for the duration of his contract stay — there was a 7/11 directly across the road from the entrance and the nearest bus stops and station were barely a five minutes walk away. 

Also, because Joonmyeon was listed as Kyungsoo’s emergency contact, he had access to Kyungsoo’s apartment complex building pass codes — Jongin had fretted a moment over the legality of his older half brother giving it to him with such uncaring ease but had quickly swept the thought from his mind. He’d deal with the consequences later and if Kyungsoo really detested the fact that he knew the pin so badly, he was more than free to change it himself. 

Jongin typed the number carefully with a steady finger and slipped into the building with no issues despite the nerves wriggling at the base of his stomach. Kyungsoo lived on the second floor and Jongin took the stairs rather than the elevator, long legs propelling him two steps at a time. By the time he reached Kyungsoo’s door, he was a little breathless but had managed to expel a great deal of the nervousness he had felt earlier and his fist upon the door was loud and clear.

“Hello, Kyungsoo?” Jongin called out, hoping that he could be heard from inside. 

There was no response and with worry mounting Jongin inputed the access code onto the keypad beside the door. The lock opened with an automatic click and Jongin turned the handle smoothly, opening the door slightly. 

“Kyungsoo?”

It was dim inside and Jongin frowned. Maybe Kyungsoo wasn’t home? Still, he removed his shoes at the entrance and slipped into the living space. He made his way smoothly down the short corridor that led into the main kitchen and dining area of the apartment, flicking on lights as he went. Jongin didn’t fail to notice the yet to be unpacked boxes that dotted the apartment. Within minutes he had checked every room except the main bedroom, which was hidden from his sight by its closed door. 

He knocked. 

“Kyungsoo?”

After a moment of silence, he opened the door.

The curtains were drawn and the room was dark. It was already evening and even less light came in from the north facing window than would have had it been a westward facing window — at least if it had been the latter, there may have been some of the sunset’s residual rays. Jongin flicked on the light and started at the sight before him.

Kyungsoo was lying on his bed, twisted in his sheets. His skin was pallid and there was dark rings under his eyes. There was a light sheen of sweat across his face but he was shivering violently as though he were terribly cold. Upon listening, Jongin realised that even the sound of him breathing was strained and rattly, as if pulled with pain from deep in his chest. 

“Oh no.” Jongin muttered, rushing forwards. Upon reaching Kyungsoo’s bedside, he dropped down to his knees, reaching out to gently shake at the dark-haired man’s shoulder. “Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, can you hear me?”

Blearily, Kyungsoo opened his eyes. “Jongin?” His normally smooth and pleasant voice was hoarse. “Why are you here? I think I’ve caught a cold.”

Jongin, relieved that Kyungsoo had come to, laughed despite himself. “Looks a little more serious than a cold, Kyungsoo.” He reached out and placed a hand on Kyungsoo’s sweaty brow, frown quickly appearing on his face. “You have a rather high temperature.” 

Kyungsoo groaned in response. “My entire body aches. I’m so tired, I don’t want to move.” He sounded congested and moments later, coughed drily. Jongin winced at the painful sound. 

“It might be influenza. Have you been vaccinated?”

“Was due to get my shots yesterday, but missed my appointment because I was feeling too poorly.”

“Damn, terrible timing.” Jongin patted Kyungsoo sympathetically on the forehead before standing. “I’m going to head over to the 7/11 downstairs to buy you some medicine.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo groaned, struggling to speak though his runny nose. Jongin handed him the box of tissues from beside him. 

“I’ll be back in ten minutes, tops.”

Jongin, true to his word, acted swiftly. He bought several different kind of medicines at the 7/11 and was back upstairs in Kyungsoo’s apartment within five minutes, bringing a glass of water with him as he entered his ex-English teachers room. Kyungsoo was lying on his back with his eyes closed and Jongin couldn’t help but frown at how unwell he looked. 

“Here, take these.” Kyungsoo opened his eyes at the sound of his voice and struggled into a sitting position as Jongin popped two pills out of their packaging. He handed them graciously over with the glass of water he had brought with him and Kyungsoo took them swiftly before lying back down, apparently exhausted. Jongin fiddled with the packaging of the cold compress he had bought to treat Kyungsoo’s fever. With a gentle hand, he swept Kyungsoo’s hair from his forehead and smoothly stuck the cooling gel sheet down. Kyungsoo breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you.” His eyes were already closed, voice quiet. It was clear he was on the verge of sleep once more.

“No problem. I was worried when you didn’t come to today’s Japanese lesson.”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to let you know that I wouldn’t be coming.” Even with his eyes closed and voice weak, Kyungsoo managed a frown. Jongin’s lips twitched.

“No need to apologise, I mean, I doubt you’re capable of much in your current state. I’m just glad Joonmyeon encouraged me to  come and check on you.” Jongin blinked at his own words, recalling his half brothers involvement for the first time since he had arrived. “Speaking of which, I’d better go let Joonmyeon know I’ve found you alive, if not entirely well. You go back to sleep.”

“Okay” Kyungsoo breathed. “Thanks again, Jongin.”

“It’s really fine.” Jongin murmured — the words were lost on Kyungsoo, however, as he seemed have already fallen back to sleep. Jongin stood in the doorway of the bedroom for a moment, simply looking in at the sight before him as his brain began the complicated process of reconciling the events that had just transpired to the feelings he felt. It all seemed to have happened so quickly, he could scarcely believe it. Jongin stepped from Kyungsoo’s room, closing the door behind him before rummaging for his mobile.

Yet another near miracle — Joonmyeon picked up for once.

“How’d you go?” Jongin’s stepbrother asked.

“Found Kyungsoo in bed half unconscious. I’m about ninety eight percent sure its a bad case of the flu.”

Joonmyeon let out a low whistle. “I warned him about Japanese influenza when he first arrived. You have had shots against it, right?” 

“Yeah, I got my B-strain vaccinations earlier in the month.”

“Good.” Joonmyeon replied. “How is he now?”

Jongin swiftly recounted the status of Kyungsoo’s condition to his brother, who let out a sigh. 

“I don’t like the thought of leaving him alone when he’s not well. He only moved recently and its not like he’s familiar with the area or his neighbours. I’ll probably get out of work around ten… maybe I’ll head over and stay the night, just in case.” Joonmyeon sounded genuinely concerned. 

In that moment, Jongin found himself feeling acutely aware of how little he knew Kyungsoo, after all. The sincerity behind his half brothers statement and the promise behind his words managed to highlight everything Jongin realised he didn’t know. Joonmyeon and Kyungsoo were truly good friends. Of course, Jongin knew that this had to be the case: they obviously got on well enough to have stayed in touch for the last five years.

Still, something about hearing firsthand the concern in Joonmyeon’s voice truly solidified the friendship the two men shared and it made Jongin feel like an outsider. He only saw glimpses of a Kyungsoo that Joonmyeon knew well. Something ugly stirred in his chest, and he hated himself for it.

“I can stay. He has a fairly long couch that I can sleep on.” Before Jongin even had time to think, the words had left him. The didn’t stop there, though. “I have a feeling he’ll sleep through the night, anyway, and I can make sure he’s OK come morning then head home.”

“Oh, will you? That would make me feel a lot better if someone was nearby. Thank you, Jongin.” Joonmyeon, oblivious to the feelings that had fuelled Jongin’s sudden impromptu offer, sounded thankful. Jongin felt even worse because of it.

“It’s fine.” Jongin replied weakly. 

“Update me come morning, alright?” Joonmyeon said. “Porridge is good for sick people. I’m pretty sure there’s a restaurant that specialises in the area that you could get something at tomorrow morning.”  He seemed to add as an afterthought. 

Jongin agreed easily and soon he was bidding his half brother goodnight. After hanging up, Jongin merely stood in the silence of Kyungsoo’s living room with his phone is hand. Who was he, to feel jealousy over his brothers relationship with Kyungsoo? Who was he, to make such a bold offer out of selfishness?

Perhaps, despite his best efforts to change, he was still more of a petulant and selfish child than than he had previously believed. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth.

...
A/N
Sorry for the long wait. Hope you all enjoy this chapter :-)
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