Hoseok couldn’t focus lately, he tried really hard to do his best but he was lacking, and he knew why, he just didn’t want to admit that another person could cause this much turmoil in his life, but he knew deep down that she was the reason for all this, she was the reason he kept missing dance steps and she was the reason he was continuously asked if he was ‘feeling okay’ by the other members. He hated feeling this way, especially because he didn't know this girl, they had met once, and only briefly, she was just some normal staff member that he had met while doing an interview about the new album, she didn’t seem like anything special at the time but as his life went on he continued to think of her, the way she looked, the way she smelled, just..everything, some may call it obsessive but Hoseok liked to think he was romantic rather than obsessed, it’s not like he hunted the girl down or dug through phone books to find her, instead he waited patiently until the next time they had an interview with that station, which wasn’t too long in the real world but to Hoseok it was eon’s.

The interview went well, they were asked and answered the same old boring questions “what’s the inspiration for the album?, do you wanna collaborate with anyone?” you know normal everyday questions he hated answering but did so anyway as it was his job. Speaking to the young  woman, however, proved to be a much more strenuous task. When it came to her, everything seemed so much harder, he was lucky if he was even able to form a sentence, when he was finally able to all that came out was “pretty, very pretty”, now a random man coming up to you and saying such things would understandably make anyone a little weirded out, so Hoseok wasn’t at all surprised when she just gave him a pity smile and hurried away to do something for her job. ‘smooth Hoseok real smooth’ he thought to himself, he had lost his only chance to impress this girl, she would forever see him as a ert now, he didn’t understand why this was happening to him, he just wanted to admit his feelings so he could go back to being good at his job instead of failing at least twenty five percent of the time. He needed to see her again, he needed to tell her how he felt, and he needed to do it soon.

Hoseok had finally gotten his chance,several months later,in a coffee shop of all places, he was angry that he had to wait this long,-not angry at her of course more angry at himself and at the situation itself, it didn’t help that his feelings just continued to grow either, he just hoped that he could get this off his chest before their actual comeback tour, he didn’t want to imagine how bad it would be if he messed up onstage as bad as he did during the practices. Confessing to a girl can’t be that hard right, he’d done it a few times in his school days but this, he didn’t know, this just felt different, scarier than any confession he’d done in the past, maybe because he was older now, and having an adult relationship was hard, really hard, he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it, but he still needed to confess to this girl, to ease his mind, and who knows, maybe she would like him too if they got to know each other a little better, all he had to do was confess, so why was it so hard, why did he freeze up every time he saw her, ‘get a grip Jung Hoseok you’re a man!’ he shouted at himself as he started towards the girl sitting alone at the back of the coffee shop, here goes nothing.

Things went, about as well as expected, the young lady knew who he was so introduction’s were only needed on her part, her name was quite common for a Korean woman but to Hoseok she had the name of angels. They talked for quite awhile which Hoseok really appreciated, they got to know each other at least a but before he eased in his feelings, he didn’t come on too strong but he made it obvious he had feelings for her, she wasn’t upset by it which he thought was a plus, however, his plan didn’t go as well as expected, she informed him she was seeing someone before -as if on cew- she was whisked away by a young handsome man who he assumed was her boyfriend, the only good that came out of the say was he was able to express his feelings and he was able to get her contact information, he used the ‘we should at least be friends’ excuse and it worked, they exchanged numbers and it made him feel a little better, his dancing went back to normal, he gained back his inspiration to write songs, even his rapping was improving -if it even needed improvement- he was all around happy again, for a little while, after seeing her with the man his mojo was once again lost and he found himself tripping over Jimin during another late practice, he was so angry he just shoved past his concerned members and left the studio enraged, he thought confessing was enough, he thought he would be okay, he hated this, hated how he was feeling, he didn’t even know this girl that well and yet she had this effect on him, like he was a servant to her existence, it was like he was a completely other person, and it scared him, he needed to do something, anything..but what?  

After many days of thinking what to do he figured it out, he assumed that growing their friendship would help so that’s what he did, for the next few months they got to know each other better and better, now she had made it clear in the beginning that this was only ever going to be a friendship, nothing more, but Hoseok didn’t care, because whenever she was around his mojo returned, he was excelling in everything, the members were a little concerned but he assured them he was okay, eve if he wasn’t. The past few months were great, they laughed, ate out together, relax together, anything typical friends do,but it just wasn't enough for Hoseok, he lik-no loved this girl and she saw him as merely a friend, do you knowhow heartbreaking that is? The feelings he had wouldn’t go away no matter how much he begged for them to, he loved being her friend, and he wanted nothing more than to continue to see her everyday, but he knew he couldn’t he couldn’t just pretend that he wasn't in love, so he suddenly stopped calling, stopped texting, stopped hanging out at her place, he stopped all contact, but..he couldn’t stop caring.

Weeks of no contact turned into months, their comeback tour was a month away and Hoseok tried really hard to do everything right, and he was doing great, until they went over the choreography for DNA, he was doing great and then bam, he missed his cue, everyone looked at him and Jungkook was about to tell him that it was okay but he never got the chance, Hoseok was already gone, the only noise in the room coming from the door as it slammed closed, Jin took a deep breath before telling everyone to go back to work, he knew Hoseok needed time alone, he’d be back when he was better.

Hoseok needed something to help him forget, something to help him clear his mind, at least for the time being, the most obvious choice, alcohol, so here he was, in a bar, his body already three glasses in from the top shelf whiskey, his mind didn’t feel any clearer, so he chugged his fourth glass, paid his tab, and left. The night air felt nice on his flushed skin, it wasn’t enough to sober him up, but it seemed to fill his heart with determination as his feet changed direction from his normal route home, after what seemed like an eternity -it was only fifteen minutes- he arrived at the house, her house, his feet carried him from the edge of the sidewalk to the front door in a matter of seconds, he had no time to register what the hell he was going before his knuckles came in contact with the door, he took a deep breath as he heard footsteps coming closer, his eyes closed when he heard the lock unhinge, ‘this is so wrong’ he thought to himself but as soon as he saw her face he no longer cared. “Hoseok?” there was that voice, the most beautiful voice he ever heard, “w-what are you doing here?” she asked as she fixed her robe, she must have been getting ready to go to sleep, oh well. “I-I needed to see y-you.” his words were slurred and quiet as he stepped into her living room, “w-what are you doing I didn’t say you could come in..” she glared at him but he just laughed and continued towards her, “d-do you have any idea what h-hell i’ve been t-through for y-you, I-I pretended to be interested in the trips you and that idiot boyfriend took, I pretended like I wasn’t hurt, but I’m done pretending now, I’m going to open your eyes, I know you like me I-I know it,” “Hoseok you can’t just walk in my house at midnight, drunk off your and expect me to reciprocate your feelings, you know I have a boyfriend..” she continued to back away from Hoseok until her back came in contact with the wall “Hoseok y-you kn-” he placed his finger against her lips to shush her, “I don’t care” was all he said before his lips pressed against hers.