Taeyong was drinking a glass of water when he first saw the white envelope on his kitchen counter. He was dead tired from rehearsals and he's pretty sure that was not there when he left that morning, the cleaning lady must've put that there. He was about to ignore it and just head to bed when he noticed the very subtle cherry blossom design at the corner of the envelope, and cherry blossoms reminds him of only one person. He carefully placed the glass at the sink, thinking to himself that he should definitely wash that tomorrow, wiped his hands on his jeans and carefully opened the envelope. There in all its white elegance and cherry blossom design, written in delicate cursive are the names Yuta & Sicheng, that's when he realized that he's holding a wedding invitation. One of his bestfriends is getting married. Great! He took his phone from his pocket which by the way he hasn't checked all day because he was too busy with rehearsals and sees the missed calls from his friends.

12 missed calls from Yuta

5 missed calls from Johnny

and a text from Mark saying "Hyung, you're coming right?"

He thought of calling them back but it's 3am and he's pretty sure his friends are already asleep at this hour, so instead of calling them, he each sent them a text.

To: Yuta

From: Taeyong

Congratulations to you and Sicheng! I'm so happy for you both.

To: Johnny

From: Taeyong

Hey! I'm okay, I'm happy for them.

To: Mark

From: Taeyong

Uhhh..gotta check first with my manager.

Everybody knows that Taeyong is the type of person who will drop everything for a friend, so that last text for Mark isn't really something they should be worried about. But that was then, and Taeyong has changed. 

But Nakamoto Yuta is also someone Taeyong can not ignore, he really wouldn't miss his bestfriend's wedding for the world. So two months later, he found himself wearing his big boy pants in a beautiful private villa in Jeju surrounded by both familiar and  unfamiliar faces. The ceremony was about to start, with most of the guests already there, he took his spot beside Johnny who then gave him a hug and a smile. It was after Johnny let him go that he see him enter the garden. Them rather. He looked beautiful in his crisp black suit, but what gotten Taeyong's attention was the sparkle in his eyes and the angelic smile plastered on his lips directed to the other man in front of him who was evidently holding his hand.

"Hey, I'm sorry I didn't warn you. Ten said Jaehyun would probably be out of the country today so I thought they weren't coming."

The other man, who he recognizes as the CEO Jung Jaehyun whispered something on Ten's ear which made the latter shake his head and giggle. And suddenly, Taeyong cannot breathe properly. He was oblivious to Johnny telling him that it would be alright and Yuta would understand if Taeyong bails out of this moment, all he was aware of is Ten's presence. He sees the happy couple sit in one of the rows at the middle and that's when their eyes met. Ten smiled at him, and Taeyong hoped that was a smile he just did. Johnny pinched his elbow and he was dragged out of the world where only Ten's smile matters. 

Once upon a time, Taeyong was Ten's world. Taeyong woke up to pretty smiles and morning hugs, and there's nothing he would choose rather than be with Ten. Well, that's what he thought.

He met Ten when the thai beauty transferred to Korea to pursue his love for dancing. They met at an audition, barely out of puberty, and not able to speak korean fluently, Ten asked him for directions. They soon found out that they live in the same area, and even go to the same school. That's how it all started; going to auditions together, practicing together, walking to and from school together; dreaming together, always together. Years passed by and they became a package, it's impossible to see one without the other. When they graduated from highschool without any success in all their auditions, they decided to just pursue their passion in college. Ten pursued dance and Taeyong was in music. There, they met all their friends: Johnny, Taeil, Mark, Yuta, and Sicheng. But despite all the new people in their lives, they remained glued to each other that's why when they first announced that they are finally dating during their second year, nobody seemed surprised. 

"I thought you're already dating?" was all Mark said, looking confused as he continue to munch on his lunch. Taeyong responded to that question by shrugging his shoulders and kissing Ten's temple. "I guess we're pretty oblivious with each other's feelings huh?" he whispered to Ten's ear which made the latter giggle. "I've loved you since that day you helped me get home dummy." He was overwhelmed with the love he saw in Ten's eyes when he said that and how much he feels the same for him that he can only kiss his forehead, hoping and promising, that he'll do everything he can to keep this forever.

Everybody expected Yuta to cry, but what they didn't see coming was to see Sicheng stop in the middle of saying his vows to wipe his tears. Yuta and Sicheng, they all knew those two were going to end up together and Taeyong was so happy for them. He watched their love story unfold and he cannot really think of someone who deserve those two other than each other.

All their friends was present in the wedding, and Taeyong can't help but embrace the warmth he's feeling by being surrounded by everyone he holds close to his heart. But despite all the happiness he was feeling, he still feels like he'll faint anytime because of the way his heart is beating crazily. It has been that way the entire ceremony, and it is still is now that they are in the reception. He thanked the heavens, Ten and Jaehyun were seated at another table, he'd probably die on the spot if ever he has to see them so happy up close. Speaking of the two, he sneaked a glance at their table, and Jaehyun's arm was casually draped at Ten's chair, something he probably did in instinct, something Taeyong used to do all those times ago. He finally looked away and stared instead at his clenched fist. He haven't seen Ten that happy in years, and it crushes his heart to even think that he's no longer the reason for that happiness. He glanced at his watch, there's still 30 minutes before the bar will open, he can't wait to drink his sorrow away. He was distracted by Taeil asking him about his schedule, they talked about his upcoming tour, and the progress he's doing with his new album and for awhile he was able to ignore the hurt he's feeling.

When the clock hit 8:00PM and Yuta announced that the bar was open, Taeyong practically ran towards it. He sat at the end of the counter and ordered himself a brandy. He was probably at his 7th or 8th, he honestly lost count already when he felt someone sit beside him.

"hey!" Yuta seated himself beside Taeyong, not ordering anything for himself. "Thank you for coming Taeyong, I know how busy you are."

"You know I wouldn't miss this for the world right? By the way, congratulations to you and Sicheng!" 

"Thanks man! By the way, how are you? Nobody have really seen you for so long." Taeyong heard the hurt and worry at his bestfriend's voice. After what happened between him and Ten, he just shutted everyone out of his life. He burried himself with work that he was able to build a wall so high, nobody could penetrate. So he doesn't know if its the alcohol talking or the comfort Yuta always brings with him but Taeyong finally felt like he's not really alone.

"I'm fine, I guess?"

"Yeah? We rarely see you nowadays Yong and its mostly on TV." Yuta didn't even mask the hurt this time. 

"I just needed space you know? I needed time to think, and time to pick up all of my broken pieces." 

"He had a hard time too you know? He was lost. For years you were each other's constant, you were all he knew, his world revolved around you Taeyong, and suddenly it was gone. For us? We were all confused, never have we imagined it would happen. It didn't help that you were shutting us all out, we wanted to help because honestly? We couldn't believe you guys broke up. But then, you went on a world tour and when you came back you never talked about it." Yuta was touching his arm now, and he felt more ty for not letting his friends help him during that time.

"I still can't talk about it Yuta, it still feels like a dream. Until I saw him today and he was so happy and I just couldn't breathe. It still hurts." That last one was barely a whisper but he's sure Yuta heard it because the next thing he knows, he is being enveloped in a hug.

"Everywhere I go, there's always a reminder of him. Even when I look at all of you, all I can think about was what we had before. I'm sorry for shutting you all out, I just didn't know how to handle it. Sometimes, I stay up all night thinking if I'll be able to move on from this."

"Sssshhh..it'll be okay Taeyong. You'll move on from this." He doesn't know how long Yuta hugged him or when the tears started falling but every part of his body hurts, seeing Ten loving someone else hurts. 

Taeyong felt bad for crying on Yuta's big day and staining his suit with tears, but the alcohol was making him feel worse. He was never the strongest drinker in their group to begin with. After telling Yuta how guilty he felt for practically stealing him from his guests and sending him off with a promise that he'll be alright, Taeyong ran to the bathroom. He didn't even had the chance to close the door of the cubicle he was in before he was vomitting his dinner. Now he's not just sad, he's miserable. He felt the other person's presence before he heard him and Taeyong couldn't think how this day could turn any worse than this.

"Taeyong? Are you all right? Oh ." He heard the sound of the door locking and for a second, he thought he went away but that was until he felt the familiar warmth of his hand rubbing his back.

"Hey, are you alright?" Taeyong had stopped puking, He could only stare at the handkerchief being offered to him by the person he both want to talk to and avoid at all cost. But Taeyong couldn't really wipe his mouth on his shirt, that's way too unhygienic even for a drunk Taeyong, so with hesitance, he grabbed the handkerchief and wiped his mouth as he stood up. Ten stood silently, watching him rinse his mouth with water and wash his face. He can finally feel the pain all these drinking would bring him tomorrow, but to be honest? Taeyong has been in pain for 3 years now, there's nothing new with what he's feeling. 

Nobody tried to break the awkward silence, and Taeyong wanted to laugh because this was something new to them. But Taeyong also knew Ten wasn't the person to contain his curiousity, so he wasn't surpised when he was the first one to break the tension.

"Have you been drinking? You know you can't really handle your liquor well." He said it in a quiet voice, and Taeyong smiled bitterly because even after 3 years, Ten still remembers the small details. 

"Had too much fun with Yuta. I was so happy for him and Sicheng"

"that you got drunk for them?"

"yes." he hasn't looked at Ten in a long while aside from that brief smile before the wedding but now that he's standing in front of him, with just the two of them and a locked bathroom door, Taeyong took the chance to look at him and he can see the turmoil in the other's eyes. He knows Ten wants to call him out for his drinking and for a second, he wished he would, because that way he'll know he still cares. That there's still something left from how they used to be. 

So he was disappointed when Ten told him, "right. I have to go." Ten was moving to open the door now and he can watch him leave and never have this chance again or he can man up and take this chance and probably beg him to come back. So he grabbed his arm, and prayed in his head

"wait! Ten?" that stopped him. Ten was looking at him now, patiently waiting for what he has to say.

"I'm.....I'm sorry." he saw the other's in take of breath and he knew he caught him off guard. 

"why are you doing this now Taeyong?" 

"I don't know. I just...I'm sorry for what I did to us." He saw Ten smile a little at the mention of the word us because once upon a time, that's what only matters to them, how they thought they can face everything as long as they have each other. And Taeyong would do everything to bring everything back. Ten removed the hand he has on his arm and started washing his hands. He could see the nostalgia in the other's eyes.