Baekhyun is nervous.

He looks up from his phone to survey the lobby of the aquarium. It wasn’t particularly busy today. A Tuesday afternoon only drew families eager to make memories without much effort—and lonely sons of es like himself. He’s never been on a blind date before because dating was never an issue for him. Since high school, he always had suitors ready to woo and give everything they had.

However, things have gotten stale.

One night, he and his work friends met up for dinner to about life without the restraint of an office setting. He was only half-way through his story about the awful date he went on a couple of weeks ago before Jongdae interrupted him with,

“Have you tried going on a blind date?”

Which subsequently led to Jongdae and Kyungsoo convincing him to try blind dating. There’s nothing wrong with blind dating, but it just wasn’t for him and he had no previous desire to try it out because frankly, it sounded terrifying. After he countered with, “What if they’re crazy or something?” Kyungsoo offered to set him up with someone he met in a cooking class.

“He’s tall and handsome. I think you’ll like him.”

It was Jongdae’s idea for them to meet up at an aquarium. He described it as “Different, but potentially meaningful.”

The last time he went to the aquarium was for his niece’s second birthday, which he bought his then college boyfriend along—a huge mistake. They were on the last legs of the relationship, but he wanted to give it one last go before they called it quits. And they did, at the aquarium right before Yeseul blew out her candles.

Baekhyun leans his head against the wall at the memory. As his family clapped for Yeseul, the future he wanted to build vanished alongside the smoke from the candles. All they did was fight, but at the time, he still had a lot of love for Chanyeol. Love that had nowhere to go. Chanyeol disappeared shortly after the breakup, which his family continuously bombarded him with questions about where he was and if everything was okay—in hindsight, they probably knew. When he shrugged his sister-in-law off, feeding her the lie that he was okay and Chanyeol probably got sick, he excused himself to check on him.

He went to the bathroom to cry instead.

At the time, his eyes were full of unshed tears, but as he passed by the jellyfish exhibit, which was a tunnel craved into a fish tank, he saw Chanyeol standing there under the dim cerulean hued lights. He isn’t quite sure what prompted him to stop as a large jelly fish swam above them, blanketing them in a fluorescent light. His poorly hidden tears cascaded down his face, earning him a few looks from other patrons. The jellyfish’s tentacles moved like hair in water, and it shone brightest out of all the jellyfish in the tank. He felt it was oddly poetic. It was a moment that only he and Chanyeol shared, similar to the love they felt for each other, and like the jellyfish’s passing, brief.

The awkward car ride home was one of the last times he saw him, only a hello here and there if they happened to run into each other—which was rare since they belonged to two different colleges.

Baekhyun lets his plaid shirt, that he’s wearing as a jacket, slip from his shoulders, giving his arms a taste of the thin breeze. It’s only eleven in the morning but the humidity the forecaster, gleefully, stated would reach 80% is rich in the air. Worse off, he’s starting to feel sticky. He rearranges his hair part in the reflection of his cell phone then closes his eyes, a soft sigh escaping his mouth.

Kyungsoo told him his date will be in a black hoodie and carry a lone red rose. He found it kind of cheesy and too couplely for a first date, but what did he know? Baekhyun studies the red rose sitting on the bench next to him. To him, it symbolized him taking a plunge in an unfamiliar pool. The water is cold and frightening but hopefully, he’ll find something meaningful at the bottom. He’s almost 28 and he’d love to settle down sometime soon. He doesn’t have to stress over his being too dusty to fertilize an egg, but he doesn’t want to chase a toddler around a house at 50.

“Excuse me.”

Baekhyun’s head perks up and his heart leaps into his throat at the sound of the baritone voice. It’s something that plagued his thoughts for months and sprung up in his dreams from time to time. A smile graced his face whenever he heard it, especially when this person called his name. He turns his head to the right to see his ex-boyfriend in a black hoodie and holding a single red rose. This is the man Kyungsoo suggested from his cooking class. This is his blind date. Chanyeol is his blind date.

A look of shock is present on Chanyeol’s face. His thick lips part and his arms fall to his sides.

Baekhyun wants to laugh at the irony of it all.

“…It’s been a long time, Baekhyun.”

After all this time, Chanyeol’s voice still maintained the slight inflection where his voice deepens then becomes a lighter, airier tone whenever he’s nervous.

“Seven years.”

“Ah,” Chanyeol looks to the ground, and so does Baekhyun. His eyes travel down his long body and, despite the hoodie hiding most of his shape, he can tell he gained more muscle—Grew into a man despite his large eyes and the fringe that rests atop his eyebrows.

A silence falls between them. Baekhyun didn’t know what to say. Seven years have passed, yeah, but could he date him again? Did he even want to? Better yet, should he?

Nonetheless, he stands, startling Chanyeol, and picks up his rose, ing it in Chanyeol’s face.

“We’re already here, so…let’s make the most of it. Today could still be fun.”

Chanyeol’s eyebrows knock together then quickly relaxes with a soft smile. Baekhyun can feel his heartbeat in his palms. The stem of the rose sticks to his hand and feels more like an extension of himself than a flower he killed earlier this morning for the sake of romance.

They trade roses despite them looking like carbon copies of the other. Honestly, he wouldn’t be shocked if they went to the same flower shop.

Their hands touch and Chanyeol’s hands are still the same as they were back then. Rough and coarse, but gentle. It felt like a memory he forgot existed but realized he missed once it came tumbling back.  After the impromptu reunion, they get in line for tickets, which is thankfully short, pay, after an awkward glance of who is going to pay/should I pay/would it be rude not to pay for the other’s ticket? and stroll past the arch of a dolphin and whale shark smiling with large eyes.

Chanyeol stops part-way through the entrance, with a brochure in hand, and holds it in front of his face, “What do you want to see first?”

Baekhyun shrugs his shoulders. Realistically, he planned on wandering around for maybe two hours, getting lunch if the date was okay, and then heading back to his apartment to hookup. It’s been awhile but he isn’t sure if it’s right to do that with someone like Chanyeol. Of course, it wouldn’t be their first time, but the demons that drove them apart were never addressed. It’s just asking for this “reunion” to end in heartache.

“I never really thought about it,” Baekhyun answers truthfully.

Chanyeol’s lips part slightly while staring at Baekhyun in disbelief. He recovers and brings his attention back to the plastic-like brochure, “I did some research and there’s a dolphin-sea lion show at 2:30. That could be fun.”

“Are we sitting in the splash zone?”

“Of course! Why else would you go?” Chanyeol asserts. At the look of distaste on Baekhyun’s face, he stammers, “I mean, only if you want to.”

“Hm,” Baekhyun gazes at the brochure from Chanyeol’s side. He can see words and pictures of trainers smiling and feeding various sea creatures, but he’s not registering them.

Their problems are still there.

“You never want to do anything ever,” Chanyeol huffed under his breath. He crossed his arms, covering the university logo on his sweatshirt, and looked away.

“What?” Baekhyun whispered harshly. He watched his older brother as he, his niece, and sister-law point at the various fish. He returned his attention to Chanyeol and grabbed his sleeve when the latter tried to walk away.

“I don’t want to talk about this here,” Chanyeol stared at the cylinder-shaped tank with fish fruitlessly swimming around in circles.

“Clearly you do, now what the did you mean by that?” Baekhyun’s eyes were wide and a dangerous tone rode his voice. He was pissed the off and at this point, was done pretending he was okay, that they were okay. Today was supposed to be a fun day where he celebrated his niece’s birthday, and hopefully a day he and Chanyeol would reconnect.

“You never want to do anything, anymore,” Chanyeol stated, still not making eye contact.

“We’re at the aquarium, is that not doing something?”

Chanyeol pulled his arm from Baekhyun’s grasp, “Let’s not do this here.”

“Chan—” Baekhyun interrupted himself when he spotted his mom making her way over. He gave Chanyeol one last look before offering her a sweet smile.

“If that’s what you want to do,” Baekhyun starts methodically, “We can.”

“No,” Chanyeol mutters.

“Chan—”

“We can feed penguins but that’s at the other end of the aquarium, so maybe we can do that last.”

Baekhyun watches Chanyeol as his eyes scan the brochure. His jaw is sharper, and his brow is more pronounced, but he can still see the same guy he dated and fell in love with all those years ago. He’s the same person he made naïve promises to get married and adopt three kids and two dogs. They made so many plans and had just as many dreams.

He grabs the corner of the brochure, standing closer to Chanyeol in the process. His heart thunders in his chest and he his lips. On top of Chanyeol looking good in a simple black hoodie and jeans, he had to smell good too. He swallows thickly as he scans the sheet of paper to find something to do relatively close to them.

“Ah, the um, walrus exhibit isn’t too far so maybe we can head that way.”

“Okay,” Chanyeol stares at the brochure.

Baekhyun can practically feel Chanyeol’s voice rumble in his chest. His breath is warm on his ear, causing a stirring in his own chest. It’s an intimacy they haven’t shared in a while—it’s one he hasn’t had with anyone in while, at least, not like this. It’s oddly comforting and he feels like the same hot-headed business administration major he was all those years ago, back when they were happy.

“Let’s go,” Baekhyun grabs the sleeve of Chanyeol’s hoodie, and pulls him along.

“How’s the cooking class?” Baekhyun stands next to Chanyeol as the manatee makes another round around the tank.

“Ah, I’ve always wanted to be a better cook, and it’s something to do.”

“I figure you’re still a busy-body?”

Chanyeol’s face brightens when the manatee swims to them, earning “ahhs” from children and their parents. Baekhyun couldn’t help but smile when she bumps against the glass, giving them a kiss.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol replies finally.

“My desire to stay at home only got worse as I got older,” Baekhyun jokes. It’s not the best joke since they ultimately broke up because they shared different interests, and it’s evident in the soft frown that appears on Chanyeol’s face.

It was something both knew would become a problem going into the relationship. Back then, Baekhyun prided himself on being more of a “going-out” type of person, but he was never to Chanyeol’s level. By 2 am, he was ready to call it quits and Chanyeol was only getting started.

It was fun at first. Getting drunk (underaged) and roaming the streets until six in the morning was exciting and something they shared together. But as their relationship progressed, Baekhyun wanted to stay in more, which Chanyeol didn’t have an issue with until they spent most of their time at each other’s apartments and not experiencing life as Chanyeol put it.

And that’s when the fighting got worse.

They both complained about the amount time they spent with each other. Baekhyun was too tired to look for enchanted riches that are only present at the most obscene times, and Chanyeol wasn’t interested in laying in bed all day. It became hard to compromise, and after a while, Baekhyun didn’t want to.

“Kyungsoo told me a lot about you,” Baekhyun states, startling Chanyeol in the process.

“I’m surprised,” Chanyeol answers softly.

“He said you were tall and handsome.”

Through the reflection of the glass, Baekhyun can see Chanyeol stutter and, poorly, hide a smile from the compliment.

“And he also said you’re a good cook, probably one of the best in the class,” Baekhyun continues, watching as Chanyeol smiles with all his teeth. It was cute seven years ago and it’s still cute today.

“He said some stuff about you too.”

“Oh really?” Baekhyun turns to face Chanyeol and suppresses a smirk.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol turns to face Baekhyun, “He said you were funny and handsome too.”

“Not tall?” Baekhyun teases.

“Maybe to these kids, but generally, not all,” Chanyeol states with a straight face, but Baekhyun can hear the smile in his voice.

“Shut the f-, ah, or maybe you’re just too tall,” Baekhyun says, unable to hide his smile. It’s small, but he can feel it—how they used to be.

Chanyeol rolls his eyes then tugs Baekhyun along, “Come on.”

Baekhyun’s hands feel strangely empty. They left the show in good spirits, not in the splash zone but close enough where they got a little wet, but he felt weird. During the show he was fine. Clapped when necessary, laughed when necessary, teased Chanyeol just so he can see the man fall over from laughter. It was comforting that they still shared the same humor and clicked, words tumbling out of his mouth because Chanyeol just had to know, and he just had to see how Chanyeol would react to it. Moreover, he just wanted to know Chanyeol and become reacquainted with the man.

He stands in front of the bathrooms, Chanyeol still inside, and pats his jeans pockets. He feels his wallet, phone, and house keys.

Wallet, phone, house keys.

When Chanyeol emerges, looking as handsome as the day they met, he spots the red rose in his hand.

Oh.

His heart sinks and his face is warm. It was just a rose that really meant nothing, but it feels wrong. He did something extremely wrong.

Chanyeol walks up, the mirth from the show present with the way he beams positivity. Or happiness he used to describe it as.

“Do you want to check out the jellyfish exhibit? It’s in the direction of the penguins,” Chanyeol pulls the brochure from his jeans pocket and balances the rose between his arm and side.

“Ah, sure.”

“Hey, are you—” Chanyeol looks up from the brochure and notices Baekhyun’s empty hands, “Your rose,” he finishes plainly.

“Yeah, I think I lost it,” Baekhyun watches for Chanyeol’s reaction. It was just a rose and he could buy another on his way home. It wouldn’t be the same, but it’ll look the same. When Chanyeol swallows thickly, his blood runs cold.

It’s wrong. He did something extremely wrong.

“It’s just a rose, it’s okay,” Chanyeol states. He smiles but Baekhyun knows it’s not real.

“I hurt your feelings,” Baekhyun states softly.

“I want to see the jellyfish,” Chanyeol states. He grabs Baekhyun’s sleeve, but they remain still.

It wasn’t just a rose. Here they are, seven years later, repeating themselves. Baekhyun stares at the sleeve Chanyeol is holding on to. He hasn’t changed after seven years. Before he would have waved it off, believing Chanyeol’s words that it was okay, and they were really okay, but how many times did he fall short and Chanyeol tell him it was okay? How many times did he not reach Chanyeol’s expectations? Unrealistic as they are, sure, but it wasn’t okay, hurting Chanyeol’s feelings left and right.

And it would be one thing if he did this purposely because then he could change, but it was an accident. But how many times can someone make the same accident before someone starts to take it personally? How many canceled dates did it take for Chanyeol think Baekhyun wasn’t into him anymore? It took seven canceled dates for him to think Chanyeol hated him. It took Chanyeol walking pass him three times for him to know they were done for good. It took him one night, crying over what they had and what he lost, for him to know he wasn’t okay with anything anymore.

“Chan—”

Chanyeol tugs him along until they are walking side by side. They pass by smaller tanks of jellyfish that line the walls. His eyes scan over each one, in awe at their beauty but terrified at the same time.

Eventually, they stop in front of a large sheet of glass that is more of a tunnel than a tank. Children chatter next them, excited for the big jellyfish to “wake up.” In this tank, there are hundreds of jellyfish floating about, illuminating the dark room in an array of bright colors.

“I didn’t mean to lose the rose,” Baekhyun states softly, eyes trained on the glass.

“It’s okay. It was just a rose, Baekhyun.”

“I care, you know,” Baekhyun’s face warms at the confession. This is embarrassing and the wrong time to have this particular conversation, “I always have.”

“I don’t understand,” Chanyeol responses just as softly.

“It’s not about the rose.”

Chanyeol sputters, “I don’t—”

“I never showed this to you enough,” Baekhyun watches as the hair-like tentacles push through the water, some flying up and away, “It was hard, yeah?” He inhales audibly when tears slink behind his eyelids and his throat grows tight.

“Baek—”

“It was hard for me,” Baekhyun confesses quietly, “You gave me that rose,” he gazes at his hands, “and I lost it.”

“What is wrong with you, Chanyeol? You’ve been in a sour mood all day. I don’t get it,” Baekhyun confessed as he took the birthday cake from the box. He placed it on the table, garnering a few looks from nearby children in the cafeteria.

“It only becomes a problem when I disrupt your happiness, right?” Chanyeol countered. He opened a box of candles then placed two candles on the cake.

At Chanyeol’s words, Baekhyun looked up, mouth agape, “What-what is that supposed to mean?”

“It means what it sounds like,” Chanyeol said as he took paper plates from the bag that sat on the table.

“You’re such a ,” Baekhyun whispered. He pulled his phone from his pocket and texted his brother, letting him know the cake is ready.

“I’m still nicer to you,” Chanyeol commented under his breath.

“What are you trying to say to me, huh? You said you didn’t want to do this here but—”

“Baekhyun, I’m tired.”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened a fraction. He stared at Chanyeol from the opposite side of the table. The thump of his heart was loud to his ears and he felt ill.

Chanyeol continued, “It’s never about me. This,” he gestured between them, “isn’t about me.”

“It’s my niece’s birthday, it’s not about either one of us, Chanyeol I don’t understand—”

“And you asked me to come.”

“What’re—”

“And I’m here despite me not wanting to be.”

Baekhyun went rigid and eyes are downcast at the implication. He reads the “Happy Birthday, Yeseul” written in frosting. He started slowly, “I don’t think we should have this discussion here.”

“Why have one? Nothing is going to change.”

Baekhyun looked up and Chanyeol was frowning, “I’m trying, okay? I’m sorry I can’t drop everything and go with you at all hours of the day. I’m sorry I like to sleep, and I’m sorry I have to study—”

Baekhyun’s family enters, his brother led the way with Yeseul asleep in his arms. They gathered around the table and Baekhyun moved to Chanyeol’s side. His sister-in-law nudged her daughter to wake her up.

Chanyeol whispered, “You know that’s not what I’m talking about. Everything is about you, all the time. The only time we can be together is when you want us to be.”

“No, that’s not true! Do you have any idea—” Baekhyun whispered harshly.

Yeseul rubbed her eyes and stared at her cake. Everyone began singing.

“When was the last time we did anything I wanted to do?”

Congratulations on your Birthday

Congratulations on your Birthday

“You’re still upset about the concert?”

“It’s not about the concert, Baekhyun—You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

Baekhyun turned to face Chanyeol who continued to stare forward.

Congratulations on your Birthday Yeseul-ie!

“I…don’t care?” The fear that sat in Baekhyun’s chest at Chanyeol declaration that he’s tired, tired of him, is replaced with anger. He cared, and he did a lot for Chanyeol and their relationship. “Maybe you don’t appreciate what I do for you.”

“What do you do for me, Baekhyun?  that you’re tired unless it’s something you want to do?” Chanyeol met Baekhyun’s gaze, just as angry.

“Why are we together?” Baekhyun whispered, regretting it as soon as it tumbled out of his mouth.

A look of shock washed over Chanyeol’s face, replacing his anger. He looked hurt.

“I ask myself that question daily,” Chanyeol whispered back, jaw tight.

Heat rose to Baekhyun’s face and his head started to pound, “Then leave.”

Yeseul blew out her candles, with the help of her maternal grandmother. She and everyone at the surrounding tables clapped. The room felt full but Baekhyun was empty inside. A fatigue fell upon him all of a sudden and he didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. He wanted to pull Chanyeol back and apologize, he wanted to hide, but what his body chose for him was to cry. And every time one of his family members came to him, asking where “his” boyfriend was, it felt like a punch to the gut.

A tear slides down his cheek, “I’m sorry.”

“Baekhyun, it’s a rose. It’s not—”

“I couldn’t love you properly,” Baekhyun stares at his feet and observes how the different colors dance on his sneakers.

Chanyeol is silent next to him and he isn’t sure if that is a good sign. It’s been seven years since that day, his brother had two more kids, and he graduated from university, but he felt like the same 20-year-old.

“I was unreasonable then,” Chanyeol whispered.

“I didn’t compromise enough. I didn’t listen to you enough. I thought it was okay because you said it was.”

“I was bad at communicating and I wasn’t as honest as I should have been.”

Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol, “I doubt that would have made anything different.”

“You’re not a mind reader, Baekhyun. And I shouldn’t have expected you to be,” Chanyeol chuckles softly. It sounds like he’s in pain. “I’m sorry.”

There is a loud arrangement of “ahhs” from the crowd as a large jellyfish swims past. Like all those years ago, its tentacles move through the water like hair and it’s the brightest one in the tank. It’s terrifying due to its massive size but beautiful because how it lights up the tunnel at the same time. It quickly swims to the other end of the tunnel, the other patrons following it in the process. Its visit was brief but something he’s happy he got to experience, let alone twice.

“I don’t think we understood each other,” Baekhyun comments softly, watching as it flies through the water.

“We were doomed to fail from the start,” Chanyeol whispers back.

Baekhyun tears his attention away from the tank to Chanyeol’s face. He’s still turned towards the tank, his eyes following the smaller, arguably, duller jellyfish.

Chanyeol continues, “But we feel like an unfinished saga.”

Baekhyun’s heart thunders in his chest at the confession. He felt, giddy, for the first time in years. He knew he still loved the man, and he grew to accept that his feelings for him are something that will only die when he does.

“Can we…” he trails off, his cheeks warming at the idea of getting back together with Chanyeol, “even after seven years?” Baekhyun states softly. It’s a question for Chanyeol, but also for himself.

A soft smile grows on Baekhyun’s face when Chanyeol’s hand meet his, their fingers intertwining, the lone rose in-between their hands.

He isn’t sure if this is the right thing to do, or if this will meet a better end, but he’s confident that he wants to try again.

Hey! I went overbroad (and wrote 4K on accident) but I wanted the roses to represent them giving each other their hearts. So when Baekhyun lost his rose, it was him basically losing Chanyeol's heart (or his feelings or SOMETHING). And at the end when they held the single rose together was them working together to be in a relationship versus being two people (idk idk what I was doing tbh) But, yeah, I wrote too much and made this so much more complicated than what it had to be. I really enjoy romances where the couple has to work for it versus them just being together. The "just was" is cute and it makes me warm inside, but I really like reading about the complexities of relationships.

MINOR RANT (it's important and it relates to the fic I promise)

I went out to lunch with a friend of mine the other day and we talked about how everyone from high school is getting married and having babies and I had this philosophical moment where I realized why I don't want to get married ANY time soon I always say I'm too young (ik some people mature faster than others but I'm not one of them) but I never really thought about it until then basically I said that marriage is super difficult because it's not about you anymore and it's an active committment you can love each other all day but that's not always enough I feel I don't understand myself all that well so there's no way I can nagivate making a new family with someone else when I never understood myself who am I going into the relationship etc but yeah so I characterized chanbaek like that they were super immature when they were younger and were more concerned about their self-interests (so they're the right couple who met at the wrong time) idk idk this probably doesn't make sense

anyway

See you soon!!! (*•̀ᴗ•́*) و ̑̑

Let's be friends! Visit my ship blog here!