pub·li·cist

ˈpəbləsəst/

noun

1. a person responsible for publicizing a product, person, or company.

2. a journalist, especially one concerned with current affairs.

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Blog Entry #32:

Have you ever felt like you’ve failed the world’s expectation of you, as you reminisce the good old days when you used to be twelve-years-old and ahead of everyone in terms of your studies? Me too.

Graduating at the age of twenty-three turned out to be nothing special. Sure, my mom and dad both cried and boasted to the rest of the neighborhood about how much of a genius their daughter is, only to realize that a year later, she has no social skills to support that alleged geniusness, resulting in four consecutive failed jobs.

First, I worked as a rookie journalist in a shady news company who claimed to be everything they’re not. After three weeks, I simply couldn’t take the amount of false articles I had to type out due to the sheer absurdity of the claims—I mean, it’s one thing to publish articles regarding celebrity dating rumors, and it’s another thing to publish articles about a celebrity’s alleged life. I lived two-thirds of my life working as a journalist there fearing that one day I’d wake up to a lawsuit arriving at my desk.

I lasted for about six months on the second job I had, the longest record I’ve managed to keep a job. I worked as an editor for a small publishing company that helps rookie writers start off their writing career, and I quite enjoyed it. Until the CEO’s daughter graduated university, that is, and I started to get less and less job until eventually I was fired, thanks to the spoiled brat who felt outshined every time a writer picked me over her to edit their works.

I had received a huge amount of apology money from the CEO, and shamelessly, I accepted every single penny. I also tried tp sue them for nepotism, which ended whatever remaining relationship I used to have with the CEO. No regrets.

The third job, fortunately, lasted for another four months, only to have me realize that advertising really wasn’t my forte. I’d been hired as a content marketer, yet the only thing I felt towards the brands and products I had to market was pure despise. Not a single sentence I typed working on their job expressed the truthfulness inside of me. You just can’t force yourself to convince people that toe socks really does look good paired with a good ’ol trusty birkenstocks. That’s just pure evil.

I don’t know if the fourth one is considered as an actual job, but I’d like to say that it is. I’d started to write my own story, my own novel. It was good for a few months, until I realized that without any deadline or any particular goal, my story would just die and wither out like the rest of my dreams did. It started to become hard once I realized that I didn’t have anyone who supported me and my writing—even my own parents disagreed with my career choice and thought that I was just lazy. That my writing was just an excuse.

So here I am, on my way to my fifth job interview, hoping that showbiz is the one true passion I’ve been telling myself I’ll find someday.

- seyun_kim_lovesapplepies

[A/N]: first time i'm trying to write a fic that isn't so angsty and serious! also the first time i'm writing a character that's quite y, lol hehe. this is going to be my attempt at a long, slowburn fic--let's see if that actually happens. also, baek again because i love him with all my heart and i've never actually written jerk!baek before. SO PLS, SIT TIGHT MY LOVES, AND ENJOY THE RIDE (BY SUBSCRIBING AND COMMENTING OFC). xoxo