Author's note: I’m a super new fan of Winner and this fic just came out of nowhere after I binged watched WIN: Who Is Next and Winner TV and me listening to X Ambassadors’ Unsteady late at night.

Some things in the fic are only based on real situations and supplemented liberally by my own imagination.

Song Mino has been in love with Kim Jinwoo since as long as he could remember.

He remembers that he was the last one to enter Team A, him knocking on the door of the training room awkwardly. Him introducing himself to the 4 members, who stared at him with blank expressions.

Jinwoo was the first one to crack a smile, to introduce himself, to welcome him to the team. Somehow, Jinwoo's bright smile felt like home.

He remembers how Jinwoo would laugh at his jokes, no matter how unfunny they were, his laughter making Mino feel like he was on top of the world.

He remembers when Jinwoo cross-dressed as Kim Rachel in their Heirs parody, how Jinwoo's beauty took his breath away. He remembers blurting out his true feelings suddenly, like how Jinwoo was totally his type. He wished, then, that he didn't have to brush off his feelings as a joke, for the sake of broadcast.

He speaks of his unrequited love to the only person he can, his sister, who asked him why didn't he just confess. 'Why, you ask?' Mino laughed bitterly.

He has thought of confessing, a hundred times, a thousand times, the various scenarios he had imagined were vivid; but then he thinks of how Jinwoo fought so hard to debut.

How Jinwoo defied great odds, being a son of a fisherman from a small island to debuting in YG, one of the Big 3 companies in Seoul. 

How Jinwoo lived through numerous iterations of Team A and worried himself sick that he could be the next one getting cut or giving up.

How Jinwoo practised till 6am in the morning and then woke up 8am again to practice again during WIN.

How Jinwoo cried till his nose bled when Team A was revealed as the winner.

How Jinwoo still practices till 6am in the morning after Winner debuted because he didn't want to be a burden to the rest. “Hyung, how could you sleep so little hours a day? Our schedules are not just practice sessions now.” Seungyoon asked Jinwoo worriedly.

“I’m fine, Seungyoon-ah. I can’t lag behind all of you. I’m alright, don’t worry.” Jinwoo smiles reassuringly.

Mino knows Jinwoo prioritises Winner before anything else.

"I can't, I can't do that to Jinwoo hyung. I can't risk taking his dream away from him, not when we barely just started."

Winner wasn’t just Jinwoo’s dream now, it concerns all five of them.  

"What if, I confess and he rejects me and things become awkward. What if, I confess and things didn't work out and it affects the team and everything goes bad? What if, Dana-ah..."

Mino buries his feelings deep down.

"What if, and just maybe, it all works out?" Dana's words ring in his ear, but Mino couldn't take the chance. Not even if there was one in a million chances that Winner would be affected.

-

Kim Jinwoo has been in love with Song Mino since as long as he could remember.

He remembers the bright, laughing boy who joined Team A the last. He was awkward at first, but he tried hard to be the mood-maker, cracking jokes and making everyone laugh with his silly antics when they were stressed with practice.

He remembers when Mino was designated as the leader of Team A, how he took up the responsibility, worriedly but earnestly and wholeheartedly. How devastated Mino was when Seungyoon replaced him due to Mino’s foot injury.

He remembers how Mino just couldn't stop crying on their last stage during WIN, all the way from the announcement, to all the way when they were back in their waiting room. Jinwoo cried hard too, but he could almost still feel Mino's tears soaking through his white shirt.

He remembers being extra nervous before Winner's first few debut performances, but Mino's jokes, especially the dumbest, nonsensical ones, would calm him down better than anything else.

He remembers how Mino begged their company to allow him to compete on Show Me The Money 4, how Mino braved through the criticisms of being an ‘idol rapper’, ‘just a kid with a big company backing’, his fierce determination shining through.

He had numerous instances where he almost blurted out his feelings, almost telling Mino how much he meant to him, but then Jinwoo thinks of how far of Mino had come.

How a young Mino dreamt of being a rapper; trained so hard and had his debut with Block B within his reach, but left before his dreams came to fruition.

How Mino actually debuted in B.O.M, with his dreams seemingly in his grasp, but came crashing down soon in a year after, when they disbanded.

How Mino weathered through disappointment after disappointment, auditioning for YG as a last resort.

How Winner was Mino's final chance at realising his dream.

Jinwoo badly wants to tell someone his feelings, anyone, especially on days where Mino smiles at him like he was the sun, hugs him and calls him ‘my favourite hyung’.  But Jinwoo doesn’t want to anyone to worry for his own silly, unrequited feelings, he doesn’t want to drag anyone down into his whirlpool of feelings.

"I can't do this to Mino, I can't impose my feelings on him. He has come too far, worked too hard, been through too much to fail." Jinwoo tells himself.

Jinwoo seals his feelings away, determined to see Mino as a groupmate, a dongsaeng and a friend and nothing more.

-

When Winner finally came back after their year-long hiatus, their songs did well. Sentimental and Baby Baby did well, charting, winning awards, gaining them more fans.

Mino thought, Winner is stable enough, maybe, he could finally confess. He notices Jinwoo’s gaze lingering on his just a little longer, his touches a little softer, his attention on Mino a little sharper. He thinks, maybe, his feelings weren’t unrequited and as risky as he thought. When it was just the two of them, however, the confession stays at the tip of Mino’s tongue, unable to materialise into actual words.

“One day, one day, I’ll plan it properly, and I’ll finally say it.”

Then their whole world came crashing down.

Taehyun was leaving the group.

Winner was in crisis. There were many late-night emergency meetings, tension across the meeting table so thick one could cut it with a knife, engulfing the room and following them back into the dorm. The members were on edge, anxious at the thought of Winner’s future. Seungyoon, as the leader, worried the most, throwing himself almost completely into work and almost collapses from stress and overwork. Seunghoon, usually noisy with unnecessary chatter, stayed quiet for months on end. Jinwoo, the soothing presence in the group, tries hard to lower the tensions, but even then he seemed to have lost some of his sparkle.

Mino thinks about the fragility of Winner, how easily things that seemed stable, fell apart in an instance.  

Tonight, Mino tosses and turns in his bed, unable to sleep no matter how hard he tries. A million scenarios flit through his mind, about Taehyun, about Winner, about his idol life and…Jinwoo.

“What am I even doing? Song Mino, what are you doing? I just…want to be comfortable.” Mino mutters as he flips off his blankets.

 He tiptoes out into the living room, thinking of sneaking a cigarette to calm his nerves. Instead, he finds Jinwoo sitting on the floor of the balcony, face upturned towards the night sky.

“Hyung? What are you doing here?” Mino took a seat next to Jinwoo.

“My insomnia seems to be getting worse, so…I might as well look at some stars right?” Jinwoo smiled wryly.  

“Those are satellites, hyung.”

“What are you doing here then?”

“Can’t sleep.” Mino shrugged. “Came out here to feel comfortable.”

Mino looks into Jinwoo’s eyes, and realises right then, that he was the most comfortable he has been in a long, long time. He remembers the all the reasons he became an idol, all the sacrifices he made and somehow, he had lost his centre.

But Kim Jinwoo, with his soft smiles, his laughter, his calm nature had rebalanced Mino. At that moment, with Jinwoo gazing at him, feeling Jinwoo’s warm presence beside him, Mino wants to be just a little selfish.

Mino leans closer and closer to Jinwoo, slipping an arm around Jinwoo’s waist.

“Mino? Wh-what are you doing?” Jinwoo stutters, but he didn’t move backwards, didn’t move to push away Mino’s arm.

-

Jinwoo freezes when he felt Mino’s arm slip around his waist. He holds Mino’s gaze, seeing the way Mino’s eyes sparkled as if all the stars he was supposed to see in the night sky were contained there.

Jinwoo is tired, so tired of holding all his feelings in, of being the mediator in the group, repressing his own feelings while taking in all of the others.

In that moment, Jinwoo decides to do something that Kim Jinwoo of Imjado, not Jinu of Winner, desperately wanted.

-

“I’m getting comfortable, hyung.” Mino slips his other hand to Jinwoo’s face, cupping his cheek.

It was Jinwoo who finally closed the distance between them.