線と線を結ぶ二人

Two people connecting a line with one another

やがてみんな海に辿り着き 

Everyone will reach the ocean soon

ひとつになるから 

and become one

― Deep River, Utada Hikaru

Mina can remember the day Momo was eliminated from Sixteen with such painful clarity.

The moment Momo’s name was called out, Mina felt her heart being stabbed as the tears instantly began to pour out. She remembered her heart aching, her heart shattering the harder Momo cried at the realization that she was eliminated. No one could believe it, not even JYP himself. Only the audience who ultimately controlled each and every one of their fates.

Mina could do nothing but watch Momo in tears as the rest of the contestants cried with her. She remembered silently crying harder when Sana tried to reach out to Momo, trying to pull her into a hug but Momo continued to pull away and walked off-stage alone, her sobs gradually fading from the stage. It was in that moment Mina could feel just how devastated Momo was and how frustratingly helpless she felt to comfort Momo because there wasn’t anything she could say to stop those tears from staining her beloved Momo’s face. The three of them continuously talked about how they would debut together, Sana proclaiming with such confidence that they would pull through no matter the odds, that Mina truly believed their dream would come to fruition. What words could Mina say to Momo, who worked the hardest out of everyone, who encouraged and watched over her team, who supported her and Sana always, and was still eliminated despite everything? She wanted to comfort Momo so badly once the filming was over but only tears would spill out from her, once again feeling utterly helpless while others like Sana and Jeongyeon comforted Momo.

When Mina found Momo leaving the practice room after she changed out of her stage clothes, she rushed into Momo’s arms and started to cry again as the only thing she could say was “Momo unnie” over and over, praying that Momo would understand the feelings she was trying to convey.

Mina remembered how Momo pulled away with the saddest smile she had ever seen on the older girl and gently patted her head and her hair.

“You and Sana… You and Sana need to make it to the end. Make the dream a reality,” Momo had said while pulling her into a tight embrace. “I’ll be cheering for the both of you.” Momo smiled weakly and Mina felt her heart break into a million pieces at Momo’s next words. “You’ll be fine without me.’

It won’t be the same without you! was what Mina wanted to say but the words were stuck in as she sobbed uncontrollably into Momo’s shoulder.

I need you…

Mina remembered when Momo asked her to be her partner for "Hit the Stage”.

“Are you sure you want me as your partner?” Mina asked in surprise. “Maybe you should ask for someone who is more experienced, like one of our choreographers or GOT7 sunbaes―”

“It has to be you, Mina,” Momo interrupted, taking one of Mina’s hands and grasping it tightly in both her hands. “I need you there with me.”

Mina opened to protest but once she noticed the way Momo’s hands were trembling, she immediately understood. These elimination shows have scarred Momo, and the first round where she received last place despite her breathtaking performance only validated her fears and traumas. Mina could only imagine what the results did to Momo’s already damaged confidence because she was certain the blonde was having flashbacks to Sixteen. She found Momo to be strong and brave for returning to the stage despite openly admitting to her trauma yet at the same time it worried Mina. Momo normally faced these challenges alone but not this time. Momo needed her and there was absolutely no way Mina was going to decline if she could help Momo regain some of her former confidence back, even if just a little. She could never find the right words to say to Momo, but at least she can be there for her and support her and allow her actions to speak for her instead.

Her experience performing with Momo on “Hit the Stage” turned out to be one of the most memorable and treasured memories she shared with the older girl, even if they didn’t win. Seeing Momo smile and laugh while they rehearsed the choreography together was more than enough.

For awhile, everything was okay. Better than okay.

Momo was never placed into another reality-elimination shows and spent her time focusing on Twice.

They had many successful comebacks that yielded them countless awards, triple crowns, and record-breaking achievements that continued to boost Twice’s popularity. They even debuted in Japan and held hi-touch events that brought many fans from across the country (and from other countries in general) and concerts that were instantly sold out in minutes. All their MVs had millions of views thanks to their devoted fanbase who would stream the MV and whatever song they were promoting on the various music sites to help them win on shows in the first place.

To this day, Mina still can’t believe how far they’ve all come together, but not a day goes by where she isn’t grateful, especially to JYP, for bringing back Momo. She remembered how she embraced Sana as they cried together out of happiness to find out that the three of them were going to achieve their long-time dream and wish to debut together. She remembered hugging Momo as Momo sobbed loudly because she was too overcome with emotion to speak. It was an indescribable happiness that soared within her because if anyone deserved it, it was Momo. And since then, she’s watched how hard Momo would work in Twice to show that JYP’s decision was not in vain, never failing to show how thankful she is for receiving such an opportunity, both with her mannerisms and her words.

Almost three years later, Mina and the rest of Twice failed to notice a dark seed of insecurity that was growing inside Momo and threatening to swallow her whole.

They recently came back with a new mini-album with their title track “What Is Love?” and much like their other title songs, it topped the charts instantly thanks to Onces for their endless support. Compared to their previous comebacks, they had a lot more TV appearances and radio show schedules that there was hardly any time for them to rest in between filming for such appearances and for music shows. However, they managed to have a few days to relax and unwind as their promotions gradually came to a close.

Mina returned to the dorm after shopping for knitting supplies and found Nayeon crying in Jeongyeon’s arms on the couch, with Jihyo looking concerned, arms folded across her chest. “What’s going on? Why is Nayeon unnie crying?” Mina asked worriedly as she placed her belongings on the side then sat on the other side of Nayeon to rub small circles on her back.

“Momo made her cry,” was Jeongyeon’s hardened response although she didn’t look angry.

“Momo unnie?” Mina couldn’t hide her disbelief, eyes flickering from Jeongyeon then to Nayeon who could only nod as she continued gasping for air between sobs.

“She said some hurtful words to Nayeon unnie before storming out of the dorm because she confronted Momo unnie about why she wasn’t eating properly. It was a harmless question but Momo unnie snapped back so angrily which made Nayeon unnie angry because she was only trying to help. Eventually it ended up like this,” Jihyo sighed, running her hand through her brunette locks in frustration.

Mina grew more confused at Jihyo’s words and stood up. “Momo unnie hasn’t been eating?”

“You haven’t noticed? That girl has been working herself way too hard lately and isn’t eating nor sleeping enough to balance all that energy she’s exerting when practicing her dancing,” Jeongyeon added, brows knitted together with worry. “It’s not helping that we have a lot more schedules to attend to this time around and at the rate Momo is going, she might actually pass out on stage from exhaustion, even worse if it’s broadcast live. That’s why Nayeon unnie stepped in confront but Momo wasn’t listening. I don’t know why she’s being so stubborn…”

Mina was speechless at everything she was hearing. Momo not eating enough? Momo not sleeping enough? Momo saying hurting things to her members and getting angry? It really didn’t sound like Momo at all. Hirai Momo was known for being the shikshin of the group, an eternal lover of food. What was going on?

Jihyo snapped Mina from her thoughts when she placed a hand on her shoulder. “Momo unnie has been going to one of the practice rooms at the studio so she’s probably there now. Do you think you can talk to her Mina? She’s always had a soft spot for you.”

“I-I don’t know…” Mina hesitated, staring down at her feet. “I wouldn’t know what to say. What about Sana unnie? She will know what to say to talk some sense into Momo unnie.”

“She might get angry at Sana unnie too. But if it’s you… maybe she won’t be so harsh.” Jihyo gave Mina a pleading look. “Please, Mina. Please try and talk some sense into her before she hurts herself.”

Mina gazed into Jihyo’s eyes and bit down on her lip. She wasn’t sure what she could possibly do to get through Momo if Nayeon couldn’t do it, but she knew she couldn’t wait till Momo completely self-destructs and puts herself at risk. So even if she didn’t know what to say or even how to approach Momo,