“Will you be with me forever?”

“Of course I will! Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know...”

    “..in…”

The memory clouds the boys mind, consuming any lingering thought in a cloud of mist. His eyes cloud over.

    “...eok...in”

Images of a young face accompanied by a bright laugh ran on repeat. Flashes of short black hair bouncing with joyful footsteps.

    “Seokjin!”

Jin’s head snaps to the left, meeting the concerned gazes of his classmates and among them, the owner of the voice. His eyes flick around the room, taking in the expressions on every face. Some hold pity, some sadness, and others a solemn emptiness. He could tell what they were thinking, but he refused to acknowledge it. He knew they wanted to ask if he was alright. He could feel the tension building in the air. It was suffocating him. Before he could open his mouth to speak the instructor beat him to it.

    “Are you alright? You look pale.” She speaks slowly as if she feared he would react negatively. Her small hands grip each other tightly, knuckles a pale white as she clears . Jin takes a moment to himself to debate on how to answer. This instructor was new. She didn’t know, and he didn’t know if he wanted to tell her. She asked again with more emphasis on his well being.

    “I’m fine,” he murmurs in response, “today just isn’t a good day for me.”

    “Do you need to see the nurse? I’m sure someone could you-” “I’m fine.”

    She pauses as if contemplating whether or not to respond before giving a small nod and calling for the students attention and turning to the board to continue the lesson. Sensing the attention leaving him Jin looks around once more before locking eyes with a student across the room. The boy mouths, ‘We’ll talk after class,’ before turning to face the board.

-

    The sound of footsteps echoes down the hall as the pair makes their way to the exit. Jin’s eyes gaze ahead of him, glazed over in thought.

    “So do you wanna talk about it?” his companion asks. Jin glances to the side with a barely audible sigh. “You know exactly what’s bothering me.”

    “Obviously, but you look like a walking corpse. It’s better to talk about it than bottle it up.”

He reaches a hand out and places it on Jin’s shoulder, stopping them both in the middle of the hallway. Jin shakes his head, hands clenching in his pockets as he took a deep breath.

    “Today marks ten years…” His voice comes out soft. “He’s been gone for ten years. You of all people should know how I feel right now.”

    “We’re not here to talk about how I feel right now.”

    “Come on Taeyong, you’re not fooling anyone with this cold guy act.”

Taeyong shrugs his shoulders, brows furrowed. He begins walking once again with Jin not far behind him. Jin wraps an arm around the others shoulder, giving him a light shove.

    “Let’s go visit them.” he offers. “We can tell them all that they’ve missed since we last went.”

-

    The sound of the ground crunching beneath their feet falls quiet against the crashing of the river guiding them to their destination. The water sparkles in the sunlight, creating an atmosphere unbefitting of the occasion. The pair walk in silence along the path ahead of them. Neither know what to say despite the swirling emotions their eyes convey. This is the tenth trip for one and the twelfth for the other. A trip they hoped they wouldn’t have to take.

    As the path ends a clearing becomes visible, a wide array of wildflowers decorating what had become a sacred place. They both pause to collect their thoughts. Taeyong is the first one to make his way into the clearing towards an old oak tree adorned with carvings of initials. Jin follows soon after. Their pace is slow, steps seeming to weigh more the closer they get. The silence grows to become suffocating as they reach the base of the tree and crouch down in front of two large rocks placed in front of it. Jin reaches out to trace his fingers along the first rock, swallowing a lump forming in his throat. Taeyong watches the interaction with a solem gaze.

    “Hyung is here to visit you again.” Jin says softly, eyes blinking back tears. He bites down on his lip before  continuing. “It’s been lonely for you, right? I’m sorry.”

Taeyong rests a comforting hand on Jin’s shoulder as he stares down at the other rock. He says nothing, clenching his teeth instead. Jin continues to apologize, voice losing strength each time until it fades to silence. He remains quiet for a few moments before standing and dragging his sleeve across his face.

    “ I’ll come visit you again soon Jungkook-ah. I’ll bring your favorite story next time.” he whispers.

Taeyong clears his throat before giving his own words of promise.

    “I’ll be back soon Youngheum.”

The steps away from the tree seem to tug on their consciousness the further away they get, but neither turn back. If they did, they’d never leave.