“I’m sorry, Mr. Yoo,” the nurse says, sounding entirely too sympathetic for Kihyun’s taste. “We’re doing all we can, but there’ve been no changes.”

Kihyun doesn’t life his eyes from the motionless man on the bed. He’s always had a beautifully milky complexion, but now, after so many months beneath these harsh fluorescent lights, he appears sickly and frail. An IV is stuck into his arm, giving him whatever nutrients he needs that he otherwise couldn’t get.

“Thank you,” Kihyun says, more out of instinct than anything. The nurse bows her head a bit before turning to leave the room. Kihyun’s eyes drift slowly to the face of his husband, his love, his soulmate, his everything.

 

Six months. Hoseok has been in a coma for six months. At first, the doctors had been extremely hopeful about his recovery. They’d helped keep Kihyun’s hopes up at first, assuring him that there were no reasons for Hoseok to remain unconscious for any legitimate amount of time.

However, as the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months, their reassurances have dwindled to nonexistence. Not even their friends, who at first were even louder cheerleaders than the small army of medical professionals assigned to their case, have grown silent.

 

Kihyun can’t blame them. He knows the likelihood of Hoseok awakening now are slim… if existent at all.

Tears prick at the corners of his eyes suddenly, and he finds himself reaching out to grip Hoseok’s pale hand. He hardens his gaze on the older’s face, as if that’ll somehow get those beautiful eyes of his to finally open.

What he wouldn’t give to see those deep, incredibly expressive brown eyes of his love again. There’s not a thing under the sun he wouldn’t give to whoever asked if he could just see that loving gaze again, if only just for one last time to apologize for putting Hoseok into such a situation.

Regret, guilt, and heartbreak fill him.

He has no idea how he’s sitting here, perfectly fine, and Hoseok is lying there. He’d been in the driver’s seat, he’d been the one not paying attention… He should be there now. At least then Hoseok would be able to keep continuing the life he deserves, the life he’s worked so hard for.

All those years of working at becoming a noteworthy song producer are possibly wasted now. Kihyun can’t even begin to count all the sleepless nights Hoseok has had since high school, sitting and staring at his computer screen while mixing tunes and guide tracks. All those times Kihyun had been awoken in the middle of the night and dragged to that damn computer only to sleepily sing out a few notes before being allowed to go back to bed.

Wasted hours now, Kihyun supposes. All those hours apart from his love he could’ve spent helping Hoseok achieve his dream. All those nights of sleep he could’ve spent holding the older, caring for him. All the damn fights they’d had throughout their relationship he’d thought had just made them stronger. If he could take them all back now, somehow regain all that time they’d lost when they weren’t talking to each other for this or that, he would.

“Kihyunnie?”

Kihyun glances up, his neck aching, and only blinks as Minhyuk returns to the room. The blonde hesitantly offers a reassuring smile as he moves to retake his seat on the other side of Hoseok’s bed.

“What’d the nurse say?” he asks, his voice soft. Kihyun gulps thickly, his throat feeling rough as sandpaper.

“The same,” he managers to say. His own words sound distant, as if he’s hearing from the opposite end of a tunnel miles and miles long. He almost hears Minhyuk’s small sigh as the slightly-older relaxes in his chair.

“Well, it’ll change one day,” Minhyuk tells him, ever the ray of bleak positivity. Kihyun knows Minhyuk’s all but given up hope, but that his same-age friend doesn’t have the heart to tell him. They’ve all been coddling him since the accident. It doesn’t do much more than make him feel all the guiltier about it all.

“You can go home, if you want,” Kihyun finds himself saying. “I’m gonna stay here tonight, so I won’t need a ride back.” He’s been letting the others drive him ever since the accident. He just doesn’t feel comfortable behind the wheel anymore.

Minhyuk pouts at him, and straightens as if he’s about to argue with the shorter… But, then he heaves a long breath, as if he’s thought better of it, and gives a curt nod instead.

“I’ll wait ‘till visiting hours are over, though,” the skinny man says. “You know, in case you need anything. I’ll also bring you a fresh change of clothes in the morning, as soon as hours start up again. That okay?”

Kihyun nods silently, not really feeling that much up for speaking. That’s normal, though. He hasn’t felt the need to talk at all since that night.

 

Minhyuk remains as long as he’d said he would, making him get home later than usual. He’d had the foresight to text Changkyun before going back into the room. He’d told his boyfriend to not wait up for him, but, of course, the younger hadn’t listened.

He’s curled up on the sofa under the blanket, watching television, when Minhyuk gets home.

 

The older smiles affectionately at seeing Changkyun still awake. Changkyun bolts upright as soon as he hears the door open, the fluffy blue throw blanket falling off his shoulders. Minhyuk’s eyes shine with emotion as he moves close, sitting beside him to press a kiss to his temple.

Ever since the accident, he’s been clingier with Changkyun, giving him more small, random kisses, hugging him closer at night, and texting him more often. Changkyun doesn’t mind. In fact, he revels in such attention. Or, at least, he would if he didn’t know what had caused it.

“How are they?” Changkyun asks softly, tilting his head to stare at Minhyuk’s eyes. The living room is dark save for the light of the television, and it casts a blue haze over their shadowy faces. Still, Minhyuk’s eyes glitter like starlight as he smiles at the man.

“Hyung hasn’t had any changes,” Minhyuk reports, his right hand caressing Changkyun’s cheek before dropping to grip his knee a bit too tightly as his eyes take on a darker light. “I didn’t tell Kihyunnie this, but I heard the nurses talking in the hall while I was on a food run. They were… They started talking about what it’d be like if hyung ever does wake up. They said it was too long now, that he’s been gone for too long. The possibility of him being anything more than a vegetable if he ever does wake up—”

“When he wakes up, hyung,” Changkyun interrupts, his lips pulling in a pout. “He is going to wake up, and he’s going to be just fine when he does. He and Kihyunnie-hyung will be just fine.” Minhyuk’s shoulders visibly drop, and his gaze falls to the floor.

“… I’m not sure anymore, Kkungie,” the older admits faintly. “I don’t want to give up on him, but, logically, I just don’t know if Hoseok will ever be with us again.” Changkyun reaches over and pulls Minhyuk into a tight embrace, squeezing the breath right out his lungs.

“Good thing I’ve got enough faith for the both of us, then,” is all he says, his voice almost childishly stubborn. Minhyuk chuckles for the first time that day, his tone warm. He wraps his arms around Changkyun, hugging him as hard as he can.

He breathes in deeply the smell of the younger’s shampoo, his cologne, memorizes how soft his hair is as he pets it and realizes he’s wearing a shirt Minhyuk himself had gotten him as an anniversary gift. He holds even tighter onto the younger at noticing this, burying his face in Changkyun’s neck as he thinks of how grateful he is to have Changkyun with him, in his life.

He wouldn’t trade places with Kihyun for anything.

 

“Hyuuuuung, I come bearing clothes~” Changkyun singsongs as he enters the hospital room. Kihyun glances up at him from his chair beside Hoseok’s bed, the bags under his eyes seeming to have grown. The older blinks repeatedly as Changkyun holds out a bag for him, as if confused.

“Oh. Thank you, Kyunnie,” he finally says, standing stiffly from the chair. He pushes his glasses up with the back of his hand to rub at his eyes, stumbling a little as he walks. Changkyun purses his lips at this, his brow furrowing in concern.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” he asks softly, his tone much more somber than a moment again. Kihyun smiles at him, though it’s devoid of all humor or joy. He shakes his head once as he takes the bag. He drifts back to Hoseok’s side, plopping down into his chair as he looks at the clothes Changkyun has brought him.

“Minhyuk-hyung had to get into work early,” Changkyun tells him as he goes to sit in the other chair, “so I volunteered to take the morning shift. You should go change, maybe wash up a bit. I figured I could get Jooheonney-hyung to come by with some of those breakfast platters from his job a little later, if you wanted?”

“I’m not really hungry,” Kihyun tells him, his voice a mere murmur.

“I don’t care if you feel hungry or not,” Changkyun tells him bluntly. “You need to eat. Don’t make me guilt you into taking care of yourself, hyung, because you know I’m not above doing that.” A genuine smirk pulls at Kihyun’s lips, the first real expression that’s reached his face for a month, and Changkyun can’t help but feel proud. Kihyun glances at Hoseok, a teasing light to his eyes.

“Can you believe this kid?” he says to the unconscious man. “He talks as if he’s the hyung or something.” Changkyun chuckles airily, ignoring Minhyuk’s words from the previous night that echo in his mind. If it’s true, then talking to Hoseok doesn’t mean anything now. But, of course, he won’t say anything to Kihyun about it. No, he won’t be responsible for breaking the older’s heart like that. Talking to Hoseok seems to be the only thing Kihyun does willingly anymore, aside from keeping the coma patient clean and tidy.

“I’m just saying,” Changkyun finally says, shrugging. Kihyun pushes out a sigh, reaches out and squeezes Hoseok’s hand, and then stands from his chair once more. He disappears into the bathroom to do as his dongsaeng has asked, more for the younger than himself.

Changkyun glances to Hoseok after Kihyun closes the door, his eyes growing sad.

“Please, hyung,” he whispers, begging as if that’ll somehow change things. “Please, please wake up… We need you here. Kihyun needs you here.”

He drops his head into his hands after staring at Hoseok’s motionless face a moment longer, wiping at his face in exhaustion… completely missing the slightest twitch of Hoseok’s right pinky finger.